To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - -
- - particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport
screeners will not be allowed to profile people.
They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women,
little kids, airline pilots with proper identification,
Secret Service agents who are members of the President's
security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with
metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former Governors.
Let's pause a moment and take the following test ...
In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were
kidnapped and massacred by:
(a) Olga Corbett
(b) Sitting Bull
(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over
by:
(a) Lost Norwegians
(b) Elvis
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped
in Lebanon by:
(a) John Dillinger
(b) The King of Sweden
(c) The Boy Scouts
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was
blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy
(b) Pee Wee Herman
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news
day
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 the Achille Lauro was hijacked, and an
American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
(a) The Smurfs
(b) Davy Jones
(c) The Little Mermaid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens,
and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
(a) Captain Kid
(b) Charles Lindbergh
(c) Mother Teresa
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
(a) Scooby Doo
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid with dynamite
from the train job.
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the
first time by:
(a) Richard Simmons
(b) Grandma Moses
(c) Michael Jordan
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania
were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild
Bill's women problems
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote
its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless"
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed
and thousands of people were killed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck,
and Elmer Fudd
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida
(c) Mr. Bean
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan
against:
(a) Enron
(b) The Lutheran Church
(c) The NFL
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and
murdered by:
(a) Bonny and Clyde
(b) Captain Kangaroo
(c) Billy Graham
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the
ages of 17 and 40
Hmmm . . . nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling