2007
Episode
10
I-75
South
Previously in "Saecula:” An elite Republican
cabal conspires to fix the
2008 presidential election, but its plans
to embezzle money from the RNC
are uncovered and lead to murder.
Democratic Senator Winnie Scott
scuttles administration strategy with a
blockbuster disclosure during
congressional hearings on the disasterous
Islamic War. The Vice President's
"A-Team" sets in motion the ultimate October
Surprise: A terrorist attack
upon the nation.
Today: The Holy Trinity Constitutional Amendments.
The minute finals were over and Senior Sem papers
were turned in, Reynolds fired up his RV and
was on the road to Florida. He wouldn’t return
until the tundra receded from the Alfred hills in May,
barely in time for commencement. He would grade
the exams for the two undergrad courses he
taught and read his seniors’ papers, e-mailing
the results to the registrar from his wireless laptop
by the required date. Kyle would be happy. He
snuck through with a seminal defense of conservatism
as the engine of economic prosperity, using the
tarnished, if not as yet quite trite, “raising all the boats
in the harbor” analogy.
Gar had been “full-timing” -- living in his RV
year round -- for six years now. Reynolds and his wife
had built a beautiful, chalet-style house along
the ridge on the University side of the valley. It broke
his heart to have to sell it, but it was either
that or buy out his wife; impossible on a professor’s salary.
He tried apartment living for awhile, but it was
too much like a cheap substitute for a house to him.
He preferred a cheap original. Full-timing fulfilled
his primal urge for freedom. Don’t like your neighbors?
Unplug and leave. No packing, no moving vans,
no landlord, nor mortgage.
Marilyn had already conveniently downsized him
for RV living when she emptied out their house,
taking everything except the stereo, televisions,
and even the clock radio. At first, Gar was mystified
at why she had left all the electronics. Then
he remembered a comment she made when they were
moving from State College. She had wondered if
the small portable TV they purchased for their flat
would work in Alfred. At the time, Gar assumed
she was joking. After 20 years of marriage, he knew
differently.
There was a lot to be said for traveling in an
RV. Gar never had to use the facilities at a Texaco station,
stay over night in a Motel Six, or eat expressway
food. Occasionally in traffic jams, he’d get to look down
on people in cars who were sleeping or arguing
or singing. It was kind of like being a spy satellite.
Gar wished short skirts would make a comeback.
The first few years, he had traveled extensively,
visiting his sons and their families in Oregon
and Iowa. The outrageous cost of gas had limited his
recent road trips to Florida.
He’d lived all over the state. He started in Key
West, until it became overrun with cruise ships and
millionaires, and its end-of-the-road funkiness
was lost and replaced by just plain mercenary nastiness.
New Smyrna Beach and then Fort Myers Beach followed.
His current destination was Indian Rocks,
like the others, a small, laid-back, working class
beach town. Reynolds had no use for the glitz and
phoniness of Florida’s southeast “Gold Coast”
-- Manhattan South. He had dealt with enough pushy
denizens of New Jersey and Long Island over his
career, and was not about to put up with them in
his seniority.
At 63, Reynolds was two years away from mandatory
retirement as department chairman and
tenured professor. Over the years, he had flirted
with offers from Stanford and Princeton, but
concluded long ago that he liked being a big fish
in a small pond. Still, he had an established national
reputation, at least in liberal and intellectual
circles, even removing himself from Ralph Nader’s
shortlist of potential vice presidential running
mates in 2004 by a strategically-timed preemptive
endorsement of John Kerry. As with many Alfred
teachers, he would remain as professor emeritus,
teaching his Senior Seminar and helping out with
other courses as needed. But his days as a powerful
faculty chairman were nearing an end. He was okay
with that. He had won his share of battles with
the administration. Let the young Turks have their
day in the sun. After this goddamn Trinity mess
blew over, he’d be more than happy to stick his
sword back in the stone.
Two years ago, Larry Lauer, the CEO of Morality,
Inc., came up with the idea for Holy Trinity.
He dredged up every right-wing culture issue of
the last 40 years, packaged them into three
proposed Constitutional amendments, and declared
a final showdown between “true Christian
Americans and godless secular humanists.” Presumably
that included Reynolds and just about
everyone he knew. Lauer, working with congressional
sponsors, joined the anti-abortion/stem cell
research amendment, and protection of marriage
amendment with an “American Values” mishmash.
Tossed together were prayer in schools, and display
of the Commandments and other religious
doodads in public spaces, with anti-profanity,
anti-pornography and anti-flag burning. So far,
Lauer’s strategy seemed to be working. Trinity
had passed congressional muster by the required
two-thirds vote of each House and was signed by
the President, alluding to Reagan’s inanity that
“morning in America had truly begun.”
The core of popular support behind the Holy Trinity
amendments came from Evangelical Christians,
whose latest fantasy was something called the
“Rapture,” at which time God would call the faithful to
Heaven. Not just any faithful mind you, but only
the faithfulest of the faithful -- those who have been
“born again in Jesus Christ.” That this is all
“true” is based on a fictional series called the Left Behind
Books. They, in turn, are based on the nearly
incomprehensible biblical Book of Revelations.
This celestial cut is called the “End Times.” It
will initiate the aforementioned Rapture in which the
“righteous” vanish, leaving only their clothing
behind, to join God for eternity. The rest, who are
the “left behind,” face the “Tribulation” or Hell
on earth. With all the ramifications of something
this enormous, ECs only concern seems to be how
to account for artificial body parts, pacemakers,
eyeglasses and false teeth? Do they go with the
bodies or stay with the clothes? Who says they
are shallow thinkers who haven’t dealt with tough
theological dilemmas?
If ECs’ maniacal ravings were those of a bunch
of monks hidden away in a mountaintop monastery
or some leftover hippie cult in California, rational
Americans wouldn’t give two hoots. When individuals
base their socio-political opinions on voodoo,
mysticism, witchcraft, sun worship or messages from Elvis,
they are normally discounted and subject to ridicule.
But the size of the EC movement provides them
credibility and political clout, ensuring their
religious arrogance is no laughing matter. Forty percent of
the GOP vote comes from this group.
It could be years before these morons conclude
there are no End Days, no Rapture, no abandoned
clothes, with or without Mr. Potato Head spare
parts, and this lunacy implodes from its own silly and
pious superstitions. The only solution is for
mainstream society and media to treat them for what
they are -- a bunch of dangerous crackpots who
have the ability to undermine American democracy.
On the other hand, Gar thought, this Rapture crap
could be the best thing that’s ever happened to
America. Fifty million dumb as dirt, reactionary
knuckleheads suddenly vanished! “Hey God! You
think you could pull it off before the November
elections?”
He liked to say that he had read the Bible -- even
if only to find the loopholes -- and it was pretty
apparent Jesus didn't have a lot of use for the
Scribes and Pharisees. "(A)ll their works they do in
order to be seen by men." (Matt. 23: 5). If the
Bible thumpers were truly sincere in their desire to
bring some semblance of civility and morality
into the current cultural morass, Gar figured they
had best learn to play with others more constructively.
They needed to quit their petty proselytizing
and moral posturing and come together in good
faith with other Christians and non Christians. and
they needed to include atheists, agnostics, secular
humanists and new-age pantheists, among others.
Most of them had given a whole lot more consideration
to their self-directed moral and spiritual
codes than had the majority of their right-wing
opponents.
Gar’s reverie was broken as a red Dodge Neon whizzed
onto the interstate from an entrance lane.
Gar broke hard to avoid it, and swore even harder.
Naturally, it was a twenty-something female driver.
Over the years, Gar had noticed a real difference
between young women and young men drivers.
The MAPS, as he called them -- Motoring American
Princesses -- had a merge deficit disorder.
They must all have been out buying bubblegum the
day their high school driving instructors covered
yielding on entrance ramps. They couldn't seem
to figure out that challenging a 20,000 lb. motorhome
traveling at 75 mph. in their 83 lb. compact car
while blithely blasting onto the interstate wasn’t wise,
no matter how cute their parents told them they
were. Young adult males weren’t quite as self-absorbed.
But they had as yet to comprehend that tailgating,
weaving in and out of traffic and pounding on their
horns wouldn’t make ten-mile backups go away.
Gar shook off the interruption and regained his
train of thought. Trinity proponents had easy
ratification across the Bible belt and mid-America,
where their first efforts were concentrated.
However, the movement appeared to be stalled,
having failed in the last five state referendums.
Sponsors now were changing tactics for the more
moderate states. They switched from statewide
referenda with their circus-like atmosphere that
turned out huge numbers of both supporters and
opponents, to passage by state legislatures. Here
they could count on right-wing constituents, who
knee jerk at the whiff of any God-type stuff,
to pressure their representatives, and all but the
leaders of the opposition to tire of the long,
dull legislative process.
Discounting the “blue” states of the Northeast
and West Coast left supporters with six potential
states to achieve the remaining four needed for
passage. Florida was numero uno. Reynolds
anticipated his normal winter respite would not
be as peaceful this year. He longed for good,
old, boring Methodists. They went to church, did
good deeds and didn’t feel the necessity of
practicing in-your-face religion, mainlining sappy
zealotry like addicts at every opportunity
-- sort of like taking God's name in “vein.”
Next in “Saecula:” Adnan Al-Zuhari gets his
chance for revenge.
.
by Martin
Gresko
Interested in publishing
this manuscript?
Or to make comments,
CONTACT Martin Gresko at VGABONSUN@hotmail.com
See his biweekly
political column http://www.StPetePost.com
