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Sally's Idol Review
Last week, Paige Miles came, 'out of the blue'
(background lights) and sang, “Against All Odds.”
The following night, her long-overdue odds ran
out. In fact, she'd been reaching beyond her limits for weeks.
So we all say: "Bye, Bye, Paige."
This time it was R&B/Soul week on American
Idol. After welcoming the Idols/judges onto the stage,
Ryan rolled tape on the night's guest mentor
- Usher, who would be on hand to critique them through their
song choices. Unlike last week's mentor (Miley
Cyrus) Usher has sold lot's of albums and has 3 Grammy's to prove it!
Ryan did the intros, started with a lot of, "Blah,
blah," about Usher, and then at one point I remember Ryan (with Usher)
putting on sunglasses - indoors - so that they
can both look like assholes - and Usher saying everything he had already
said twice, one more time.
Finally, after all of that, the kids can start performing:
1. Siobhan Magnus, "Through The Fire." Siobhan
took on Chaka Khan - and lost - badly.
Ah, Siobhan, we expected lots more from you,
gf...
Interruption Quote
Tonight is a good example of everything that
is wrong with Idol. Producers introduce the worthless "backstage
cam."
I guess it's supposed to give us an insight
into who these people are and give the Idols a chance to rebuke the stupidity
of the judges. But really it just gives
these idiots another 30 seconds to blather incoherently about all the fun
they're
having on-stage. I can tell you 100%
of the fun is on the side of the singers, not the viewers, because the
show was
once again impossible to sit through.
Idol Producers, how does this backstage cam enrich the Idol viewing experience
in any way, shape or form?
-- Professor Chan
I disagree. I always assumed the kids were crushed after being told
"You suck" in front of 24 million people
When Siobham went back in the Green room (whatever) she was way worse
than crushed. She couldn't talk.
The others tried to cheer her up, "You'll
get them next week" kind of thing, but she didn't hear anything
they said.
She just walked to the far corner and silently cried until Big Mike
gave her a hug.
And I'm no fashion expert, but who dresses that poor girl?
She looks like a Salvation Army store exploded on her right before
she walked onstage.
Is this the Lady Gaga-ization of fashion?
Where you put a lobster on your face and say, "Look
at me - I'm different?"
2. Casey James, "Hold On, I'm Coming." This was
a wonderful cheesetastic performance! And, he sounded pretty amazing.
He was confident, used his guitar to full effect,
and seemed to truly enjoy being up there. What's not to love? I mean, the
great
guitar solo, the shit-eating grin - the beer-drinking,
'good ole boy' friends holding up their crude handmade signs in the audience?
He rocked, and I rolled - on the floor, LMAO!
Love him!
3. Michael 'Big Mike' Lynche, "Ready For Love."
There was nothing wrong with his performance, it’s just - meh, for me.
Mike was singing with his guitar, and he did
a great job with it, but the song sort of put me to sleep. If I were
at the live show,
I’d be taking a snack break about then. The performance
seemed gloomy, and Mike isn't a gloomy person. He should've done
something upbeat. Next week, Mike, for sure?
4. Didi Benami, "What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted."
Last night, I realized that Didi has this talent of making everything
she does incredibly uncomfortable to watch. Randy
felt like the performance flat-lined - and boy, was he spot on! There was
no soul involved - it was not even lounge-esque
or pole-worthy - and we all know that's her REAL future. BTW, loved Simon's
swipe: "It seemed like a singer murdering a song
on a “dancing show.” I’m sure he meant Dancing With the Stars? I'll
admit it, I snickered...
5. Tim Urban, “Sweet Love.” With Usher he practiced,
"Sweet Love" and Usher stopped him asking, "Have you ever been in love?"
Come on Usher - really! Give me a freaking break,
will ya? This Mormon kid from a family of like 20 - a grinning idiot -
with a live GIRL??
We all know, that just never happened! Randy
nailed it when he said: “Dude, that just was terrible.” Every time he comes
on that stage
the judges tear him apart like a pack of wolf's
on a feeding frenzy! Doesn't bother Tim. Randy
also said that he thinks Tim started off
started with a, "Singing waiter" vibe. But I
say: Think BIG, Randy. Forget music: Get this guy into politics
- he'd be great there!
But for now, he still should be going home tonight!
6. Andrew Garcia, “Forever.” How was his performance,
you ask? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That being said, how terrified were you,
Andrew, that your mother was going to curse out
Simon on live television? Priceless.
That was so funny.
Andrew's panic was real, I guarantee it.
He said it again and again, "Careful Mom,
it's live TV!"
I'm guessing Mom "goes off" when it comes to defending her baby.
7. Katie Stevens, “Chain Of Fools.” Katie takes
on Aretha. Yeah, that's right, this 17-year-old singing about being treated
badly
by her lover. I was looking at her on the
TV screen, I felt like it was a high school talent show. She doesn't
have the maturity or
presence to make Aretha's song believable. She
has a big voice, but she has not lived long enough to be a link in anyone's
chain.
And the "oh no you di-ent" head wobble?
Katie, you are a 17 year old white girl. STOP.
8. Lee Dewyze, “Treat Her Like a Lady.” Okay,
this song, sung with intensity and passion, turned Lee Dewyze into a legitimate
force.
This season is becoming a serious horse race
between three or four contestants - and now Lee is one of them. Good job!
9. Crystal Bowersox, “Midnight Train to Georgia.”
Boy, does this girl know how to choose her songs or what? Granted,
Crystal was less comfortable on the piano last
night than she has been with her guitar. Okay, so the piano part could
have
been better. But, Crystal's talent is undeniable.
I mean, like part-way through the song, she leaves the piano and just sings
with the microphone. I'm frightened that she'll
fall in those streetwalker heels (NOT her at all) but she definitely proved
that
she doesn't need a guitar to rock out. It was
another solid job - she just IS.
10. Aaron Kelly – What can I say? My first thought
was, “Oh good, because we haven't heard this song a million times before
on Idol.”
But, not to fear, this was the most boring presentation
of, “Ain’t No Sunshine” that I have ever seen. By the time he gets to the
chorus,
and sings, "I know I know I know I know I know"
and all I could think was: "What do you know, you cocky little 12 year
old pip-squeak?"
Then he shoots his puppy dog smile all over the
place and it dawns on me that the, "Hello Kitty" crowd are enamored with
him
- and of course they have no taste what so ever
- so he's safe.
But, as Simon reminded us: Aaron was the cupcake
to Lee’s main course...
So that takes care of this week's fare. Before
I go though, I've heard a lot of people complaining about the contestants
singing only, “old songs” on the program. Well,
I have a message for those people: Shut up. You know why they are
singing older songs? Because music was better
before you were born. Yeah!
And, that's all she wrote!
Till next time,
Sally P :),
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