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Sally's Idol Finale review
 
Promo, promo...Ryan shouting:
 
T H I S  I S  A M E R I C A N   I D O L
    F I N A L !!
 
122 Million votes last night, Seacrest excitedly tells us.   (Sure, Ryan - we have your word of that?)
Camera switch's to the judges, sitting high up to oversee the lollapalooza show tonight!

Live to Lauren's hometown. (Wow, big crowd!)
Live to Scotty's fans. (In a stadium!)
 
Opening:
 
GaGa song, "Born that way," Top 13 Idol contestants!
(Don't sweat, Lady, they are no threat to you...)

The Boys:

Scotty McCreery
James Durbin
Stefano Langone
Jacob Lusk
Casey Abrams
Paul McDonald

The Girls

Pia Toscano
Lauren Alaina
Karen Rodriguez
Thia Megia
Ashthon Jones
Naima Adedapo
Haley Reinhart

First commercial - 8 minutes into the show! may be a record??
 
James Durbin, the contestant I thought would be the clear winner, and the one who, “Gave metal a chance,” 
singing with aging metal maniacs, Judas Priest. Lights, action and lots of flashing strobes - GREAT!!
Way to go, wake up that audience, James! You and the Priests are rocking it something fierce!!
Standing O from the judges, and the audience!!

Now, 'we' will honor the judges, with video clips showing us the lines and bloopers we've endured all season long.
Capturing Randy's favorite, "In It To Win It" catchphrase, and other endearing, but annoying blurbs. 
Stretching it out, he will lampoon the other judges later.

"The Storm Is Over," Jacob Lusk singing gospel with, Kirk Franklin, Gladys Knight, and a gospel chorus.
I like this, it's so Jacob at his best!! (Small plug here, Kirk Franklin will headline at our own, Gospelfest,
in Jersey in June. Now you all know, I love down home, gospel music, BTW.)

More commercials...

Casey Abrams, Jack Black, "Fat Bottomed Girls," by Queen. (For Lauren perhaps?)   ha ha
Shit, they are ruining a great song with that damn jazz, and a background of women's butts...

OTOH, Can Jack Black and Casey Abrams perform some, "Blues Brothers" skits on SNL someday? Pretty please?
Now we promo Black's new movie (“Kung Fu Panda”) natch.

AI 'Girls' performing, "All The Single Ladies," featuring several solos by women
whom we've all forgotten, save Niama, Haley, and Ms "I love Me," Pia...

As expected, here comes Beyonce, who’s making the rounds with her new single,
“Run the World (Girls),” performing with the AI girls, and a few background singers/dancers.

Judges applauding, but no standing O...

Commercial...

Tribute, choke, choke, to Steven. Oh boy, now we get to hear all of his flirty lines, mumbles, and bleeps...
Worse than I remembered... Ryan teases us by reminding us of all the stuff they, 'couldn't' show - as if we are all 12!

Did you notice every time Tyler cursed, Randy would repeat it?

"Stepping Out With My Baby," Haley Reinhart singing with the ancient, but legendary Tony Bennett.
Very good throwback, all things considered!

Tribute to Jennifer - clips of all the boys who have crushes on her, and her sparing with Randy.
Like the faces, interjected, of her husband, Marc Anthony...

Little John and the surviving members of girl group, TLC:  Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins
and Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas and the 'girls,' singing - God knows what...

Scotty McCreery and Tim McGraw, "Live Like You're Dying." Typical 'story,'
C&W horrible song... Audience appears to be spellbound... Yahoo hand-wavers right up front, hypnotized.

It's a song about f-ing dying.
"I went to the doctor, he gave me the bad news - we discussed options."
Who wants to wallow in bad news?  Beside Kountry people, I mean.

Standing O - of course. Whatever...

Commercial...

Bad audition tapes! Why do they insist on making fun of these people every year?? Not funny!

Marc Anthony singing a salsa song in Spanish - I like this production number.
Great background dancers with gorgeous tangerine colored fans - thrown off to dance behind him...

Damn, he should have been mentoring this year! Mark Anthony may be cadaverous, but the man's got pipes.
Oh, here comes wifey, Jennifer, to work her seductive magic on him - shaking her ass ets for us - having to
out-dance the background girls... But, lots of Pyrotechnics, and she's looking hot! (Randy overacting with his applause here...)

Casey and James arguing over who's elimination was most shocking this season,
and was worse on the show - till Pia arrives wearing her "Most Shocking" sash. Funny...

Top guys, "Don't Have To Be Beautiful," medley of Tom Jones songs. The boys are definitely more memorable to me...
Okay, we are having a sing-a-long with the audience now! Love it, they all have on the TJ suits - can he be far away?
Nope, here is comes looking really tan, and old... Jack Black is rocking out - how funny. This is so bad, it's actually pretty good...

Shot to Steven Tyler who looks befuddled - but judges giving them a standing O - from respect I guess...
Commercial...
 
Ford musical with Idols (commercial)...
 
Lauren and Scotty promo their hometown teachers, hoping to get a prize for them...
Film of them inviting those teachers to the Idol final. Ryan remarks the teachers are, "Hot!" (Yeah Ryan, real class.)
The teachers get keys to their new cars...
Now Lauren and Scotty get keys to any Ford vehicles they choose... Bet they get trucks...
 
The Lady GaGa (singing on a platform almost up to the ceiling) is on board to perform a new single, “Edge of Glory.”
Freaky costume, dancers below, GaGa bejeweled, striping off garments, to show as much skin as possible. The usual...
Paws up, little monsters! Standing O!
 
Commercial...
 
Lauren singing with Carrie Underwood - Carrie in White short shorts, looking fab - Lauren in black...
Didn't catch the name of the song - I'm just not that into Underwood...
(But, I had to give the devil his due, she looks slender and gorgeous.)
 
Contestants tell what they think of the finalists - saying how young they are, and trying to be funny.
They weren't.
 
"One Plus One," Beyonce. Meh...
 
Commercial...
 
Bono and the Edge, with music from, "Spider Man, Turn Off The Dark!" Spider Man descends from the rafters - wow!
Love the stage web, the smoke, the song, Bona and the guys, Reeve Carney (lead singer of the band Carney - he's playing
Spiderman in the show right now - or at least the singing/acting part - not the flying around on wires in a Spiderman suit part).
Loved it all!! WOW, this was worth the wait, and makes the whole show bearable!! Spiderman lands on Jennifer for their finale - great!!!
 
9:56 PM show is supposed to end at 10...
 
Steven Tyler, singing and playing the piano, performing the Aerosmith classic, “Dream On.”
Pretty good for the old dude... Yeah, I liked it, okay! Tyler owned it, man!
 
Now, can we get to the winner please??
 
Last freaking commercial...
 
Lauren looks ill as she waits - but as we all knew -
the new American Idol is: Scotty - who thanks the Lord first - why, because He prefers Scotty
to the rest of the contestants, obviously... (Hello, Scotty, the 'Lord' had nothing to do with your
winning a hormonal popularity contest...)
 
Scotty chooses to sing his way out to the audience and hugs his whole family... "Loving Everyone This Big,"
and hugging everyone, judges too. I was thinking that Scotty should save the hugs and work on selling his single.
Just goes to show how young he really is, regardless of how deep is his voice.

OTOH, Scotty's proclamation that he and Lauren were going to, "stay together" was very cute.
Awwwww, young country love... Then, she kissed him, and you can just say yes, to teen showmance!

So this is the end of Country Idol.
AI is now allowed to die.
Show out... 10:07 PM
 SP :)
 

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