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Sally's Idol Finale
The last contest night and result shows
THIS WAS AMERICAN IDOL
Okay, who are we fooling - there was really only
one contestant on Tuesday night - and the other one, who hopes to win by
snaring the female vote...
The singers will each perform three times on
Tuesday night – one will be his or her favorite song of the season,
one will be a song chosen by head honcho, Simon
Fuller, and one will be the dreaded coronation song.
But, wait – the latter are not originals! Guess
AI has learned it's lesson from the horrible songs of yesteryear??
Crystal won the coin toss and will go second.
And, here we go:
Lee DeWyze, Paul Simon's, “The Boxer,” REM’s “Everybody Hurts,” and, “Beautiful Day” a tepid attempt at the U2/Bono song.
Last week I predicted underdog Lee being SO pimped
that he would easily win.
ATST, as I suspected, he did not have a huge
grand slam home run night, so pimping be damned
- now he HAS to count on those female fans. Oh,
and the leftover Casey votes as well.
As I also noted, I thought this contest was Lee's
to lose and he may very well have lost it from this showing on Tuesday
night.
I could almost believe that someone paid him
to throw it - it was like he didn't even try. No heart or soul in any of
his performances.
Okay, at least Lee had fewer mumbles in his pocket
this time. I didn't like his, "Boxer" performance the first time, and the
second time
wasn't that big of an improvement. As the judges
said, it wasn't the exciting, hard-hitting song it should have been. It
was just nice and dull,
which really should be expected from this dude.
Everybody was hurting after Lee’s second performance, "Everybody Hurts,"
even with entire gospel choir.
And, finally, Lee singing U2 is just wrong. Why
would you sing a song with such a huge range when you can't reach the midrange
notes?
At least he didn't even try the falsetto parts
- but then, what's the point if you don't? Proving that you can't sing
as well as Bono?
We knew that already. While in fact, I wouldn't
say Bono is necessarily a much better singer than Lee, but he's a f**king
amazing performer.
Poor Lee, at least he had the good grace to look
embarrassed, as well he should have been.
Lee sounded flat and listless throughout all
of his songs. If these were released as singles, it would require
Lee's fans
not caring about the quality to make it a hit.
Not like it hasn't happened before.
ROUND TWO
Crystal Bowersox, Joplin's, “Me and Bobby McGee,” David Tyson and Christopher Ward's, “Black Velvet,” and, “Up to the Mountain,” by Patty Griffin.
Loved the Janis, and Crystal sang, "Bobby McGee"
with more power and energy than she did the first time.
But Crystal's "Black Velvet" was a bit shouty,
and the dress and camera angles did her no favors.
My God, she was subject to the absolute worst
camera work I have ever seen on this show.
Instead of focusing on her radiant, expressive
face, we get long panning shots of her rather large hips
in an unflattering, ill fitting dress from behind,
tottering precariously in high heels down the Stairs of Flashy Doom.
ha ha
"Up to the Mountain," however, said to me that
apparently Idol didn't want another, "No Boundaries" fiasco and just went
with cover songs for winner's singles.
I adore Patty Griffin's version, and Crystal's
take on, "Up To The Mountain" was beautiful.
Had she been able to complete the whole song,
I would have preferred it over Griffin's.
I hope they allow her to record all 4 verses of,
"Up to the Mountain" because it's the musical version of Martin Luther
King's speech
the night before he died. That's the significance
of it. It really needs to be sung as such.
Oh, and that being said, her performance was almost
ruined for me by that asshole who did the heart hand thing in the crowd
at the end of her song - that reminded me of
Gokey, whom, as you all must know, was so pimping for the sympathy vote
last year, until it made you sick!!
Crystal mopped the floor with Lee, all three rounds.
Based on the season as a whole and the quality
of performances in this episode, Crystal should win hands down.
Based on the fact that his tweenie fans will
be more likely to power vote for him, Lee will win hands down.
Wednesday is the two-hour finale, ending with
the coronation of our newest Idol. I think it’s neck and neck right now.
Either singer could win, but I think Crystal
might wind up with the better career.
Methinks the summer tour and subsequent album(s)
are going to be a tough sell this year.
Will Young, the guy who 'sung us out' on Tuesday,
was the winner of the very first Idol show, Pop Idol,
in the UK during 2002, which spawned the Idol
franchise, BTW.
THE FINAL
I didn't bother to take any notes last night,
I decided to just sit back and enjoy (cough, cough) the show.
This, because, I KNEW the outcome. DRUDGE printed
the news earlier in the day from, 'Dialidol' who are NEVER wrong. I was
already bummed...
It just reconfirms that the cute guy with the
emotive rock vocals always wins. As I speculated, apparently all of Casey's
votes went straight to Lee.
Face it, it didn't matter how well he did last
night. His fans will think anything he offered into the microphone was
manna from heaven, and better
than whatever Crystal offered, even if, objectively,
she was clearly superior. They want their hottie with a guitar to win,
and not someone whom
they view as a threat to, "their man." The sexual/sociological
undertones are far more, 'important' here, than the vocal and musical overtones...
But first:
The top 12, with help from Orianthi, sing "School's
Out." OMG, talk about, "Spare no expense,"
they even went to the nursing home and got Alice
Cooper to join the gang. He looked like shit!
Siobhan Magnus and Aaron Kelly sang, "How Deep
is Your Love?" Joining them are the two surviving Bee Gees,
Barry and Robin, also from the nursing home.
(I'll have to admit, it didn't sound too shabby though...)
Next up is Michael Lynche singing, "Taking It
to the Streets," with Michael McDonald.
The two just rip the song up together, pretty
good from the old geezer...
Wait, where's Christina Aguilera? Oh, there she is. Christina still has an incredible voice and performance style - pass.
OMG, here comes Daryl and John (Hall & Oates) for "You Make My Dreams Come True." (Could have missed THAT one.)
Alanis Morissette, herself, sang, "You Oughta Know" with Crystal. Alanis is awesome. Crystal is awesome. Word.
In no particular order:
The show-stopping moment, past AI winners, Kelly
Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks,
Jordin Sparks and Kris Allen took to the stage
to sing, 'Together We Are One' by Delta Goodrem - during which they were
joined by
a revolving door of 'Idol' finalists that included
everyone from Kimberly Caldwell to Constantine Maroulis and, yes, Justin
Guarini.
Even Paula Abdul showed up - then we all realized
how much we missed her this year...
Noticeably absent, though, was season 7 winner
David Cook -- the only 'Idol' winner who did not take part in the group
performance.
According to Twitter, Cook was attending a charity
event for cancer in Kansas City. Who cares, I barely remember that geek.
My highlight, Casey James, "Every Rose Has Its
Thorn." And, he does get his guitar solo, because it's time for Celebrity
Apprentice
winner Bret Michaels to sing with him! I'm glad
he's healthy enough to do this. I'm even more glad that Casey got to remind
us just how
great of a guitarist is he! (After the show,
he showed up on the local FOX news outlet in a black silk suit looking
so BOSS! Ooh, Casey baby...)
Lee DeWyze with his hometown-named band, Chicago (which must have cleaned out the entire nursing home cliental) were God-awful - the worst of the night for me!
Okay, what would a Janet Jackson medley be without her getting a little, "Nasty" while wearing a suit that accentuates all of her 'big boned' nasty? 'Nuff said...
Crystal and Lee sing, "With a Little Help from
My Friends" – the Joe Cocker version, of course. Guess who shows up wearing
a purple throw rug?
Joe gives us a growl for which any Idol rocker
would sell their souls. Anyway, I will refrain from making a, "What would
you do if I sang out of tune" joke
(at Lee's expense) since anyone can make a zinger
from that. Even Dane Cook. I will say though, Joe still has a few years
left before he joins the gang - at the 'home...'
And, finally, we find out that joining Adam Lambert - the king of being shafted in the AI voting process - is now Crystal Bowersox.
I believe Lee is the weakest winner of American
Idol yet. Sure, he had his small moments, but he also had more bad moments
than anyone in my memory banks. At least Taylor
Hicks was a massive performer. Still, I can't say Lee is the worst winner
of any talent show.
Crystal will outsell and outshine him much like
Adam has done to Kris Allen.
If it wasn't for Ford commercials, I would not
even know Kris was still alive, would you?
I am bummed to say the least...
Sally P, over and out :)
Sally, thanks for a great season of reviews.