Subject: Reply to Santa

 (Santa had a long-ass Number 6 in his rant.
 My catholic upbringing and my ADD prevent me from paying attention
 to anything semi-large without pictures of Superman or Batman.)
 

 Bartcop,

 mind if I take a crack at  radiofreenorthpole@hotmail.com's goofy-ass ideas?

 "6) Ok, so what should the Federal Gumment do?
 Ideally, I think it should be responsible for these
 things: provide for the common defense, enforce
 contracts."

 'Duh' material so far, though how he plans to enforce
 contracts without a system of enforcing laws in
 general (something he presumably would leave to
 states) is beyond me.

 "issue money (based on the gold standard, which we should get back on),"

 Anyone chanting "gold standard" can usually be
 dismissed as a supply-side crackpot (see Kemp, Jack)
 who doesn't even have the support of his fellow
 monetarists anymore. The big problem with the gold
 standard, aside from requiring countries to maintain
 massive reserves, (hint: Because of the Clinton Boom,
 there's a hell of a lot more cash in circulation than
 there is at Ft. Knox) is that it forces the Government
 to discourage investors from converting their money
 into gold, because if they did so the entire economy
 would crash, (hint #2: Any system based on a promise
 to do A if B happens, where A completely fucks
 everyone is not remotely an ideal situation. See
 Deterrence, Nuclear) So what the government then has
 to do is inflate the value of currency during periods
 of trade surplus, (something not-a-liberal Greenspan
 is trying desperately to STOP) or deflate the currency
 during periods of trade deficit, (which we are
 currently in) If such an action had been taken during
 the deficit-laden 80's, the market crash of '87 would
 have turned into a full-blown depression.

 "and represent the United States in foreign relations.
 Let the Consumers Union handle consumer stuff."

 It doesn't have the power.

 Union: "Hey, that product is killing people!"

 Big Evil Corporation(tm): "Fuck off."

 Union: "Uncle Sam, Big Evil Corporation(tm)'s products are killing people."

 Sam: "Sorry, I can't do anything about it. I don't enforce laws anymore.
 Go ask your Governor and if he's not on the take, maybe he'll do something
 about  it. What state are they incorporated in?"

 Union: "Texas."

 Sam: "You're fucked."

 "Privatize the NTSB. FAA I'd be willing to stick with, although there are lots
 of good, private organizations that could possibly undertake those duties."

 Who exactly are you referring to here santy? The
 Rotary Club? Boeing? What private organization could
 possibly undertake the duty of ensuring that every
 single fucking airline flight in the country doesn't
 touch down upside-down in the middle of highway 80?

 "Let the states handle welfare, healthcare, and the social stuff."

 Read my lips santy: States can't pave roads (apologies to Dennis Miller)

 "Personally, I'd like to see Social Security tossed, seeing as how the
 gumment can't seem to hold on to the money they need to run it"

 They can hold onto the money just fine if certain
 people would stop trying to bet it on the fucking
 horses. (apologies to Paul Harvey...scratch that)

 "(lock box? that's was around when it was first founded...nothing new).
 Cut capital gains taxes, encourage further investment."

 That's idiotic. I've heard employees at freaking
 Starbucks discuss their portfolios. If someone's not
 investing it's because they see the roller-coaster
 numbers of Nasdaq and get nauseous, not because of
 capital gains taxes.

 "I don't think Social Security should be partially privatized, that'll just raise payroll taxes."

 Agreed. If it aint broke, don't fix it.

 "But you know what? I say if you're not saving your money for your golden years, tough."

 Yeah, how dare those poor people not have enough
 income to properly fund their IRA and 401K plans. We
 all know dishwashers and farm laborers and PUBLIC
 SCHOOL TEACHERS are paid $75K salaries, right?

 "If some guy blows his whole paycheck on some sushi,
 and can't pay the phonebill, the govt doesn't come
 running to help him when AT&T pulls the plug."

 If a guy's whole paycheck is consumed by sushi (about
 $10 per full plate of prepared sushi here in the most
 expensive place in the country to live) he couldn't
 afford to pay his phone bill anyway.

 "Retirement should be the same way. You ain't saving, you'll just have to
 keep working or hope you have a family that will support you."

 Once again, if someone's poor it's obviously because
 their lazy or a foreigner or whatever. Did you guys
 give up on the whole "compassion" angle?

 "Might sound heartless, but I'm tired of having a heart when I'm
 paying out the nose. I work hard for my money, and would like to
 one day reap the fruits of all that labor."

 At this point he is now longer discussing what functions the government
 should serve, and is merely rerunning the 'angry taxpayer' rant which never
 suggests moving somewhere that taxes are lower because, well...taxes in  the
US are on average 25-50% lower than what they are in other industrialized  nations.

 "On the state level, if people want the social stuff,
 they can vote for it and not be surprised when their taxes go up."

 If the people in South Carolina wanted to bring back slavery, you would agree
 that it is their right to do so? Can't have it both ways santy, either a state has
 the right to enslave a portion of its population on the basis that it is the will of
 the majority, or the gub-ment has a right to exercise a degree of oversight.

 "If people don't want it, just the same, hopefully without the tax increase.
 I think the Senate should revert back to being the representative body of the state
 legislatures (i.e. Senators are chosen by the state government instead of the voters."

 i.e. turn the clock back to 1810 when legislators
 chosen by rich white male landowners would elect the
 richest whitest males landowners to be Senators.

 "..sounds weird for a guy who wants less government"

 You got that right.

 "I know, but I'm talking about less FEDERAL GOVERNMENT)"

 Riiiight, because when states want to be exclusionary
 and bigoted, it's ok, but when the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT
 says uh-uh, it's tyranny.

 I can't believe that 135 years after the civil war
 people are still fighting it.

 "and just the House o' Reps represent the people."

 You wanna take a poll sometime to ask how many people
 feel that the House of Representatives accurately
 represents America?

 "And you know what, I'm all for having whole bunch of parties, because I
 think Fed government gridlock is a good thing. Maybe I've just been lucky to
 have grown up in states that know how to do things right, but I'd
 much prefer the states over the Feds anyday."

 I think I was lucky to have grown up in states that existed primarily in the 20th century.

 XL