Yahoo! MailYou Know You're Conservative If: (written by a liberal) [Free Republic]

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You Know You're Conservative If: (written by a liberal)

You Know You're Conservative If:

You're "Pro life" and support the Death Penalty.
You think cutting Education is better for America's children.
You think everybody on welfare are lazy people who don't work.
You rant and rave about the evils of drugs... unless that drug happens to be tobacco.
You adore employment ("Workfare")... but if a company owner downsizes thousands of jobs for money they don't need, that's okay because he should be able to make a profit no matter what.
You feel, everyone was "created equal" unless that person is gay.
You find humor in saying "Algore" and "Klinton"
You think anything left of Richard Nixon is communism.
You think Hillary Rhodam-Clinton is a flaming, anti-christ-like, communist wench.
You try to convince people God is a capitalist.
You believe welfare money should not go to the poor but to rich people.
You think workers should be paid whatever their employers want. No matter what the situation.
You think the media is led by those "liberal" corporate owners.
You think everyone in America should be speaking English, like it or not.
You love the Second amendment to death, but don't mind exceptions to the first and fourth amendment.
You endorse free speech/religion to further Christianity but ignore freedom from government enforced religion.
You scream about all that awful filth on television, then go wave a picture of an aborted fetus in front of a school or refer to the Starr Report constantly.
You always blame all minority problems on the minority with the problem.
You are convinced Dan Quayle is a very intelligent person.
You actually care whether or not Clinton "inhaled"
You think women only support abortions for selfish reasons.
You Insist people pay horribly for tax increases, but turn a deaf ear to the people that get hurt from tax cuts.
You compare Al Gore to the unabomber .
You think democrats are the only ones who are slippery when it comes to campaign money.
You think democrats are the only ones demonizing the opponent come election campaigns.
You think that because liberals don't like war they hate the people fighting them.
You prefer to argue with labels instead of facts and ideas.
You go ballistic whenever somebody uses the word "racist" in any context other than to describe affirmative action.
You actually believe that there is no sexism in this country.
You hate hate hate hate HATE taxes, because it's really your money! Unless that tax money goes to military spending, or the drug war, or Deficit hawking, or corporate welfare, or huge prisons, or huge border patrols...
You pass judgment on people based on how many zeros they can put after a number one on a check.
You count your age from conception.
You think Rush Limbaugh is family entertainment.
You think G. Gordon Liddy is both sane and wise.
You think Ollie North is a true patriot.
You think Pat Robertson is a Saint
You think 700 Club is the best program to watch on television
And finally, you know you're a conservative if you don't get the point of this.