|
|
|---|
|
American Politics Journal Atrios Barry Crimmins Betty Bowers Buzzflash Consortium News Daily Howler Daily Kos Democatic Underground Disinfotainment Today Evil GOP Bastards Faux News Channel Greg Palast The Hollywood Liberal Internet Weekly Jesus General Joe Conason Josh Marshall Liberal Oasis Make Them Accountable Mark Morford Mike Malloy Political Humor - About.com Political Wire Randi Rhodes Rude Pundit Smirking Chimp Take Back the Media Whitehouse.org More Links |
Mike's Survivor Update
Survivor: Heroes Vs Villains
Episode 3 or we have to wait another week for
real things to happen
by Mike the Dealer http://losingwithhonor.blogspot.com
We open at Heroes Camp, post Steph boot.
Tom tries to tell everyone it’s cool that they
went against his wishes and voted Steph out, because really,
what else can he say? “To hell with
all of you, write my name down next, I hate you all so much!”
Tom says he has to pretend like everything’s
cool, when it’s not, well no kidding Tom, this is Survivor 101 stuff.
Credits and we return to Boston Rob giving us
knowledge, talking about how sleeping arrangements are a tipoff
of who’s in an alliance with others, he declares
Russell and Pavarti to be in a tight alliance, same with Coach and Jerri.
Over at Heroes camp, Rupert just wishes everyone
could be one big happy loving family, because Survivor isn’t a
cut-throat game for a million dollars, but rather
a way to get together to really explain your feelings, or something.
The Heroes have a coop to trap their chickens
in, but that doesn’t work, so they have to get back to wrangling
the chickens again, and they do capture them,
Rupert declares this a morale building event that will make turn the
Heroes into world beaters.
We’re back at Villain camp where Coach and then
Boston Rob tell Russell that maybe being in an alliance with
Pavarti isn’t the best of plans since she’s a
known strong player and that the other tribe has three people just waiting
to bring her into the fold come the merger. Russell
tells us that Coach and Boston Rob can drop dead, he’s calling
the shots, and he and Pavarti chit chat, he tells
her that her name has come up for a boot, she laments that her winning
Survivor and using her sex appeal to get ahead
is now somehow offending people.
We’re back from commercials and now it’s time
for Russell to get his evil on, while Coach tells everyone crazy stories
about his crazy life, Russell runs off
and hides the machete, planning to sow the chaos and confusion that he
sowed in
his last season. He threatens stealing Boston
Rob’s Red Sox cap, and the producers do a bunch of editing to make it
look like he did it, but he didn’t. Burning
some random guy’s socks is OK, taking the star of the show’s signature
piece
of clothing, that’s a bridge to far for the producers.
This doesn’t play out in the edit like it did
last year, so whatever damage Russell thinks he did, it’s not nearly getting
the attention it did last season, where the producers
showed us the mind-blowing panic and terror that losing their water
and the guy’s socks did, in the edit nothing
is really brought up till Tribal, so Russell’s plan doesn’t really pan
out,
or at least it doesn’t as far as the producers
care to let us know about it.
I agree, that was some clumcy editing.
But why does Russell think fucking with his teammates
gives him power?
He says, "If I can drive everybody crazy,
I can control them," which makes no sense.
It’s morning now, which means it’s time for some
Coach-Porn, as Coach does his Karate/Yoga/Whatever with the
cameras capturing every second of the deluded
self-important fool reveling in his stupidity. Randy comes back from
the water with a clam, but nobody cares, he laments
that he works hard and does as best he can, but that Pavarti can
just bat her eyelashes and shake her hips and
she’ll get ahead. The subtext of this scene that’s left completely unstated
by anyone in promos or anything is that it’s
plain as day that nobody cares at all for Randy.
Back to the Heroes camp where JT decides to be
a total idiot and freak out Candice, telling her that Cirie told him that
she doesn’t trust Candice. Cirie and Candice
talk about this, while JT does a promo about how he’s now lying a lot and
is good at lying. Candice questions many people,
said questioning offends the always easy to offend James, who whines
that the Heroes need to focus on challenge victories
and not politics. Easy for him to say when the producers gave him a
gift-wrapped 3 person alliance in his starting
tribe, with a 4th person just waiting to join them come the merger.
It’s challenge time, where it’s pretty much a
straight 1 on 1 fight using a pillow between the Heroes and Villains, about
all
you need to know is the Heroes win this 8-0,
with every Hero defeating their Villain counterpart, and that in the middle
of it
the producers did a crazy slow-mo between Rupert
and Coach, since they love the two of them so much and want to make
them look as epic as possible. Oh, and James
threw his pillow at Randy after he beat him, cause he’s a rage filled jerk.
The producers have the ability to tweak the game
so their favorites win.
For instance on that "pillow fight" after the
first round the floor was muddy and slippery.
Also, with no puzzle to solve it was all brawn
and no brains.
The Heroes leave with immunity and their luxury items, while the Villains shamble off to vote out the first member of their tribe.
At Villain Camp Tyson does a promo declaring the
Heroes ate ‘steroid sandwiches’ before the contest. The Villains spend
their time cleaning the mud off themselves, since
they all got thrown into the mud by the Heroes. At this time the vote out
options
become Pavarti, because she’s a big time player
and has a huge potential post merger-alliance just waiting for her in
James/Cirie/Amanda. And Randy, because Randy
is universally hated around camp and just about useless.
Jerri and Pavarti have sparring promos where they
are out for each other’s blood. Jerri does admit she wishes she could
bottle up the charm Pavarti uses on people in
Survivor to use on people in the real world. Coach says Pavarti’s hitting
on him
won’t work, as he flirts with her big time.
Coach then gives us a speech comparing his will
to do right by Randy to that of Martin Luther King and his struggles.
Only Coach could compare Survivor to the Civil
Rights Movement.
We hit Tribal, which I always hate and skim, I
know only that the machete was brought up and then dismissed pretty quickly,
and then Randy got voted out by everyone, way
to fight for your convictions Coach, in a last act of defiance Randy throws
his
red Villain buff into the fire. Take that Survivor,
one less buff to auction off for charity.
THOUGHTS
Kind of a nothing episode in the sense that booting
Pavarti would have required willpower and a fight, since she has Russell
on her side, and who exactly knows who the hell
else would go where. Courtney, Danielle, and Sandra are not in any
solid
alliances, and Sandra’s very vocal about not
being in any alliances, her game plan is to make it painfully clear to
everyone
that she’s not in any alliance and she’s just
going with the flow.
On one side we have Boston Rob/Jerri/Coach, which
most likely means Tyson also, Vs Russell/Pavarti now while the BRob side
has 4, they need 6 for a majority, what two votes
can they count on? I thought on the first episode that the Heroes not taking
out
Cirie was a big mistake, and well, it did cost
Tom big time as now he’s on the wrong end of the majority and lost his
alliance mate in Steph.
Here we’ll have to see if Boston Rob/Jerri/Coach/Tyson
pays for this mistake. For them to pay the whole rest of the tribe
would have to go after them, which is something
I doubt that everyone would be for when it comes to booting Boston Rob
at the very least, they might take out Jerri
or Coach, but Rob’s safe because he’s their challenge machine and he’s
good
around camp, so really this could cost Coach
more than anyone else.
Next week, we get Hidden Immunity Idols! Oh the
madness that shall inspire. Boston Rob does a ‘back in my day’ promo
complaining about how he didn’t have such tomfoolery
in his games, the heroes lament that what was supposed to be a team effort
to find their idol (What?! Why?!) is ‘every man
for himself’ and Coach cries.
Questions, comments or thoughts send them to Mikethedealer@hotmail.com
Send e-mail
to Bart | Discuss
it on The BartCop Forum | Comment
on it at the BartBlog