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Mike's Survivor Review
Survivor: Heroes Vs Villains
Episode 6: Tyson is a moron
We return to Heroes camp after Tom has been voted
off, Candice explains to her that she sided with her
very stupid majority to boot Tom because to not
vote Tom would only inflame the anger of the idiot majority,
who were in favor of keeping a one legged man
over Tom. Amanda interviews that Candice’s vote shall not
save her and she will be voted out shortly, since
she stupidly told Rupert that voting out the one legged guy
would be better then voting out Tom.
He's exactly right.
It made no sense to save James (for one week) and kill Tom, who has
brains and skills.
At Villains camp, Rob and Russell have words,
Russell declares Boston Rob will be defeated shortly,
for none cross Russell and live.
Back from the credits we get the challenge treemail,
which baffles the heroes, for they know not if it’ll be
challenge/immunity/both/neither?! It’s total
confusion for the Heroes, I.E. the normal state of affairs.
We get our first clue as to the nature of the
challenge when we see the Villains with the Immunity idol.
The Villains see Tom is gone and James lives.
Somehow Probst asks a girl what she thinks about that and Danielle…
(WHO!?) says that clearly James is in a powerful
alliance if he’s been kept in the game while on one leg.
Today both tribes go to tribal, and both tribes shall compete for individual immunity.
It seemed the producers sent both tribes to TC
because the Villians keep winning.
That's one thing I don't like about Survivor,
the producers can change the game to help the underdogs.
Heroes go first. Much to the Heroes dismay, Candice
wins immunity, which seems to seal Colby’s fate,
since only Candice could have gone home besides
him. During this challenge whenever James is commented
on by Probst Courtney sarcastically swoons over
him.
Villain time and Boston Rob wins, because he wins
everything, he’s Boston Rob.
Russell’s grand plans for overthrowing Rob will
have to wait another week at least.
We have a final round of Rob Vs Candice, winner
gets hot dogs and soda for their tribe, and their tribe
gets to watch the other tribe have their council,
so that they may pick up clues about the other tribe’s politics.
Rob wins of course, because he’s unbeatable,
so the Villains get succulent food and beverage along with Probst fed info
later.
Colby notes that he royally sucked in the challenge,
faring even worse than James and his one leg,
so he’s pretty upset with himself.
Back from the break the Villains salute Boston
Rob, the bringer of good fortune. He joking says “I beat a girl”
in reference to his win over Candice in the final
challenge, of course Candice beat JT, Colby, James and Rupert,
so that’s 4 guys who can’t say they beat a girl.
Pavarti says she thinks she’s worried now, given that she’s in the
minority and really needed that immunity to save
herself.
Rob gives his 6 person alliance the order to vote
out Pavarti but to make Russell think it’s him so he’ll play
the hidden Immunity Idol. Coach declares
that he’s always true to his word, and his word is that he’s voting out
Pavarti…
Wasn’t he knighted by Russell?! Didn’t he swear
himself to him last time?! Oh whatever, Coach makes up the rules as he
goes along.
He's exactly right.
I've never seen anyone lie to themself more than Coach.
Rob tells Russell he’s going tonight, 100%.
Russell hangs out with Danielle and Pavarti, (Note:
Danielle will not exist for the rest of this episode) and tells them
he’s not an idiot, and that he’s going to give
Pavarti the idol, vote out Tyson, and hope that he’s right it’s an attack
on Pavarti and the idol saves her and sends Tyson
home. “If it doesn’t work I go home” he says, which is about the
best attitude one can have when in the minority
and forced to take desperate measures to save yourself. That and
the
fact that this guy has spent about 55 of the
last 75 days playing Survivor, he might be a bit worn out.
Heroes beach, Colby tells everyone it was an honor
to play Survivor with them, he knows he’s going home, it’s cool,
and that’s that. Rupert and him have a handshake,
since Rupert’s full of crap and buys into all that ‘honor’ garbage,
when the truth is if Rupert knew he was the next
one to go home he’s turtle up into a ball weeping about how unfair
everything is and how everyone’s out to get him,
and boo hoo, poor Rupert. Yes I hate Rupert, no it won’t stop.
The Heroes pow-wow and debate James Vs Colby,
in that James still is on one leg and while Colby has sucked,
he does have two working legs. It’s brought up
that James eats a lot of food around camp and this is another
potential reason for voting him out.
This didn't make sense.
They get on James for eating too many bananas, but they're on a damn
island - are bananas not plentiful?
Christ, they grow on f-ing trees - how can you be selfish with something
grows on f-ing trees?
Amanda, who plays Survivor for herself and on
behalf of James, lets James know that he has to show he can run,
and that maybe he shouldn’t eat so much. James
grumps that playing survivor is hard, and that he’d rather just work out
a lot and lose at challenges and blame other
people for his losses.
James now has to race JT to show that he can compete. He does so poorly, JT out-ran him by running backwards.
Again, we're dealing with some super-stupid people.
James's leg is hurt, perhaps badly.
Making him run a race to prove some ethereal
point makes no sense on any level.
Wouldn't it be smarter to let him rest his leg
- save ot for the next challenge?
Various camera shots of Colby just loitering in
the wash show us that he’s lazy as hell and not doing anything.
Of course honestly what can he do? There’s an
alliance of 4, one of their targets won immunity, he’s the other target.
I mean in his spot I might try to fight kicking
and screaming, but I also might just accept I’ve lost and there’s little
to do
to change that. Of course there’s also the chance
he’s been told what the vote will be and all this lazy video stuff is just
for effect.
Back to Villain camp and Rob decides to work a
split vote to force the idol out and get rid of Russell or Pavarti.
He explains that the split vote is fool proof,
where as a mass vote on either Russell or Pavarti is risky since the idol
can be used to deflect the vote and send somebody
home, most likely Tyson.
The split vote is
bullet proof, as Tyson affirms, while mentioning that his lack of immunity
is annoying,
but what can you do really? Russell pulls
Tyson aside and tells him that the Russell/Pavarti/Non-Existant Third Girl
block
were planning on voting out Tyson, and that well,
on further review, Russell’s going to vote out Pavarti, because he can’t
save her, so Tyson might as well vote out Pavarti
also.
This is of course the dumbest logic possible…If
Russell is telling the truth, then changing your vote does nothing,
as Russell is clearly backstabbing Pavarti, and
it’ll go 2 Tyson, 3 Russell, 4 Pavarti and she’s gone, so Tyson
changing his vote doesn’t do any good for getting
rid of Pavarti, it’s an overkill vote.
If Russell is lying, then he’s trying to get you
to vote Pavarti for a sinister reason, so why listen to him either way?
Tyson, being a moron, declares he’s totally changing
his vote to Pavarti and that Russell’s lifted the weight of the world
off his shoulders with this promise of an easy
pain free Pavarti boot.
Tribal, talking, lying, etc. Time to vote and
we see the split vote working as it should, with people voting Russell
and Pavarti.
Then we get to the ‘anyone want to play the idol?’
and Russell says he win, but he pump fakes and gives the idol to Pavarti,
after making a speech to Coach about being honorable
and forthright. Russell is working the long game here, hoping to both
survive this vote and have a better political
situation at camp come tomorrow. Boston Rob is amused by Russell’s
scrambling,
since he’s still doomed to the split vote, but
suddenly Russell only gets 2 votes, and Pavarti gets 4…That wasn’t the
plan!
Tyson gets the final 3 votes and is sent home
due to Pavarti’s playing of the idol, way to be a complete idiot Tyson.
Pavarti and the person-who-doesn’t-exist react
with shock that they’ve won this round, while Russell is all smiles.
Boston Rob sits there trying to figure out exactly
how the idiots on his tribe have managed to throw away such a good situation.
I feel bad for Boston Rob.
He had the situation figured out and solved but that idiot Tyson fell
for Russell's trick and but into the Apple and his
super-stupid move got him sent home. He had to know Rob's plan was
fool-proof, but he was too big of a fool.
Have you ever seen a more gutsy play than Russell's?
He gave up immunity (looking like a hero doing it) and it worked because
Tyson has Bush for brains.
How frustration to have victory in your hand and then throw it all
away.
And Coach - he's so full of shit he can't be relied on.
After declaring his love for Boston Rob for making fire without flint,
he then declared his love for Russell
all the while explaining that his loyalty is solid as a rock.
Boy, can't you hear yourself talk?
Tyson admits that he voted himself off the show,
and is an idiot, but he’s still awesome.
No you’re not Tyson, you’re an idiot.
Tyson made one of the stupidest moves in Survivor history.
Tragically after that dramatic and awesome turn
of events at Villains tribal, we’re stuck with the crappy Heroes tribal.
I watch this mostly to see the Villains eat…Rupert
declares that the Villains are full ‘literally and physically’ which really
should have been the episode title. Probst then
gets to big time game influencing by saying “Man Colby, you sure are on
the outside looking in, if you were to make it
to the merger, you could be a free vote, ripe for the picking for anyone
on
the Villains tribe to collect you!
Honestly man, you hold NO ALLIANCE AT ALL to the Heroes.” Of course the
same
could be said for Candice, but she’s not in Probst’s
poker games, nor a man crush, so she’s not going to be listed as a
valuable post merger swing vote.
The Villains are sent off and the Heroes vote,
its 4-1 James goes home. Sure, keep him over Tom and then send him home.
James laments he went home ‘a bit earlier then
I should have’ man way to aim high James
Yeah, hoping to make the jury maybe, get close
to the end would have been cool’.
THOUGHTS
JT’s playing just a brilliant game on the Heroes
side. He got Cirie and Tom voted out, and now has sent James home
to break up the Fans Vs Favs alliance since now
it’ll be only Pavarti/Amanda at the merger, and through all his backstabbing
and double dealing the Heroes have never once
thought to get rid of him. Even better still he’s got Colby and Candice
waiting
to go home next to save his bacon, even if I
think a merger is very likely after the next vote. He's really danced through
some
rain drops, I thought he was foolish before,
but now it's clear he's running things at Heroes camp and they don't even
see it.
Meanwhile the Villains side of things is clearly
in a state of flux. Tyson’s awful play has shattered the Villains into
a 5-3 split,
with Russell/Pavarti/She who isn’t there, Vs
Rob/Coach/Sandra/Jerri/Courtney. This leaves us with a lot of options heading
into next week, and hopefully the week after
that being the merger.
If the Villains go to tribal, can Rob hold together his five, if Coach flips, does he take Jerri with him and they boot Rob?
Rob is like an entire team - they can't lose with
Rob, but yes,
they could be Tyson-stupid and send their home
run hitter home.
Who does Rob send home if he holds his 5 together
Russell or Pavarti? These questions are all likely moot since the
Heroes
will most likely lose the next challenge and
send Candice home, since they tolerate Colby, but they seem to HATE Candice.
Now if Candice does go, and we hit the merger
as I expect, what happens then? We have a 5 person Boston Rob Alliance,
Vs 4 Heroes Vs a 3 Person Russell alliance, that’s
a lot of wheeling and dealing, the Heroes could tip the balance to Russell
and put them in the driver’s seat, being the
majority bloc of the new majority alliance. Man could JT really walk into
that good a situation?
I can hope for a Villains loss and thusly an interesting
tribal this week, but I’m not counting on it.
Odds are Candice just goes home and then the
merger hits and then it’ll really get fun.
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