10. Which one's BartCop?
       The guy over by the door?
       God, he's gorgeous!! I love his hair!
       What?
       That's Joe Conason?

       Wow! Is he with anyone?

       So, which one's Bart?
       Wait, that guy?
        ...eeeeuuuuuuuuuu!

   9. How'd that Cuervo Gold get in here?
       Somebody's getting their ass kicked when Bart finds out.

   8. Have you talked to Julie yet? She's a whirlwind. She's a tornado!
       I'm getting back in line to talk to her again.

   7. I thought Bart would be taller, ...and thinner.
       On the page he says he's 48, but he looks more like 68.
       How can the guy with the most exciting page on the www be so dull in person?
       So far, he hasn't said anything but "Hi" and "Thanks."
       ...and why doesn't Christian tell him the cowboy hat makes him look dorky?

   6. What do you think they're doing to that Moonie reporter they caught sneaking in?

   5. Wow! Did you see that dress Christian is wearing? Is she with anyone?

   4. I thought Bart was kidding about Clinton being here. My wife's gonna be sooo pissed.

   3. When Julie looked at me and said "Thank you for being here for me,"
        I thought I was gonna cry like Bob Dole at Nixon's funeral.

   2. Damn, look at him go! Carville may be paying for this room all by himself.

       ....and the Number One thing overheard at Juliefest 2002...

   1. Rude Rich: Nice ass!

       BartCop: Hey, you can't speak to a woman like that.

       Rude Rich: No, Bart. I meant you.