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Trip Report - Part Three
I was getting real excited, because after doing hours
in the woods with the giant trees,
(Would it be wrong to say I was bored?) we headed to Tommy's
Tequila Restaurant.
They bill themselves as "The world's finest
tequila bar," and I can't argue with that.
The prices are reasonable - unless you're a connyse... a connisue,
...a repeat tequila offender.
Sidebar: Both times we've been there, we parked right in front
of the place.
I wonder where people part at night, when the place is crowded?
I've only been here once before, in 2001, so I was Beaver Eager about
coming back.
They have an entire wall full of luxury tequilas and super-luxury
tequila.
Greater than any tequila bar you can find in Vegas - and that's saying
something..
When you can tell Vegas, "Suck on this,"
you are somebody.
I asked to see the tequila menu, and at the very top was a $200 shot
of Chinaco.
You read that right - a $200 shot of tequila.
It was Chinaco Black Label.
I ain't got that kind of money.
If I had Kos money, I'd invite every subscriber to Tommy's to
drink free.
Below that, they had another shot of fancy Chinaco (Green
Label?) for $120.
I ain't got that kind of money, either.
Even $60 for a half shot - I can't afford it.
They had shots of Chinaco Negro for $50, no thank you.
They had shots of Chinaco Emperador that 30
of us shared in Vegas.
last year for $65, and they got a no thank you for that, too.
But they had maybe 200 kinds of tequila, so some tequila was going to be had.
I settled on a 1/2 shot of Chinaco 1996
(What?) for $8 and a 1/2 shot of Sammy Hagar's
Cabo Wabo Uno, which was kinda spectacular for $16.
Anything bad I've said about Sammy Hagar
is hereby rescinded - unless it was about his voice, his guitar playing
or his song-writing.
Just kidding, Sammy!
I know being a guitar-playing American is a bitch of a handicap to
overcome.
Mrs Bart had her favorite Corralejo Reposado margarita
with 4 freshly squeezed limes and some
mystery juice that added up to a damn fine tasty margarita. They had
two big ice chests full of freshly
cut limes - they must've had 300 limes cut and that citrus-y smell
was truly wood-inducing.
I saw 40 bottles of tequila that I never saw before - that's rare.
I can look at a tequila bar from 90 feet and tell you if it's worth
a visit.
Not that I'm smart, not that I have great eyes,
but tequila bottles tend to be art,
where vodka and whiskey bottles just exist to transfer the liquid.
Tommy's is rated the 6th best bar in the world by Bartender Magazine.
As far as I'm concerned, it's on the short list for the Best Place
on Earth - with a bullet!
I'd enjoy dying on a Tommy's barstool, and I said that before dying
at Tommy's was cool.
It would be even better if the bartender spoke English.
If I had asked for Chinaco and he poured the $200 shot
- we woulda had trouble
Since I only did one shot, I was able to drive, so we continued on The
Streets of San Francisco!
Tommy's Tequila is near the west coast of the city, so we looked for
a seafood restaurant
that someone said
was good and it was right on the ocean - near a cave/tunnel.
Of course, it was closed until 4 PM, so we kept driving.
It seems odd that their mass transit busses run by having two giant
arms reach up into
the sky behind them to grab some floating electrical wires. They
boast that their busses
are zero-carbon (whatever that phrase is...) so they get a thumbs up
from me.
Next up was Twin Peaks, which seemed to have our name on it.
Twin Peaks is a semi-mountain right in the middle of the city, so it
gives you some
pretty spectacular views. From that one spot, you can see the Golden
Gate Bridge...
...you can see Alcatraz Island in the Bay...
and here you see downtown (Market Street) and the Bay Bridge leading to Oakland.
While we were on the mountain, we saw this guy shooting a segment for a TV show.
They shot a dozen takes - he was holding his arms out as if he were
an airplane saying,
"Or, maybe I'll just fly you to Poland."
Anybody recognize the dude?
As we were leaving, swear to Koresh, we saw what we hope was two people having sex.
This person was humping someone or something furiously on top
of the mountain..
I went up that hill with Marc Perkel in 2001 and there must've been
50 people up there
so let's hope these two (?) had some privacy. I'd hate to think
San Francisco was
so liberal that people just did the wild & nasty at the park while
the tourists gawked.
Driving around the city some more, I noticed no two trolley cars...
(is that what these are - trolley cars?) were the same so I asked Perkel
about that.
He said in the sixties (maybe) when other big cities were giving up
on trolleys, San Francisco
grabbed whatever cars they had left and keep them running all these
years, making the city look retro.
We got in one of them, and it was more crowded than a lynching at Trent Lott's plantation.
It was funny - some guy we assumed worked for the city kept saying,
with a Cuban accent,
"Move to the back - there's lots of room back
there - it's empty in the back,"
but he must've been a loon because the back was as crowded as the middle
and the front.
We noticed the day was slipping away, and we still hadn't eaten, so
we drove to Columbus Avenue
because he was Italian, so we figured we could get Italian there.
We found the Trattoria Volare Cafe.
We were trying to decide, when God intervened. He sent this girl to us with gifts.
"Would you like some
freshly made Bruschetta?"
I said to Mrs Bart, "Let His will be done," and we followed her inside.
She sang the whole time we were there. She didn't know much English
and she didn't have a good voice,
but you know how when your girlfriend starts singing, and she can't
sing, but you have to let her sing, because
it'll start a big fight if you mention how lame her singing is? It
was that kind of singing, but at least she was cute.
Walking back to the car, we noticed the people in this park.
That's what I call people enjoying the park, getting some sun and the
doggies were running.
At least there was no open sex.
Sidebar: The whole time we were there, I didn't even see one
gay couple holding hands.
I figured I'd at least see a few - do they only come out at night?
Trying to find the 101, we ran into this bit of confusion.
So, you have a green X light
and a red stop light,
with a One Way Street arrow
and a Do Not Enter warning.
My IQ of 64 made a command decision and I turned left.
Click Here for the
final chapter of the San Francisco 2007 trip.