George Will, no liberal, says a family taking an 800-mile vacation by
car
would save $5 if Bob Dole is able to repeal the 4.3 cent Clinton tax
on gas.
Bob Dole's going to cut into Clinton's 21-point lead this way?
Saving a family $5 per year on their vacation?
One other thing about this phoniest-of issues.
(Let me do this like the GOP did the budget.)
What's bigger?
Ten cents or 4.3 cents??
Hmmmmmmmm???
Hmmmmmmmm???????
Dole voted FOR the last 2 gas tax increases.
Christ, he wrote the first of the two.
They were each a nickle.
Two nickles equal a dime, Bob.
Why is repealling Clinton's 4.3 cents more important than repealling Senator Straddle's 10 cents?
Newt just predicted a 25-seat gain in the House in '96.
Of course, he also predicted gains in the Senate, and,
get this, he thinks Old Bob Dole is going to win.
ha ha
Phil Gramm just told David Brinkley
"When people make an unsubstantiated charge against
a person or industry, it undermines confidence in the American system."
This, from the party of never-ending Whitewater hearings?
Oh, well...
GOP voters proved nobody cares what Gramm says.
Anybody see Al Franken tear Newt a new one last night?
It was live on C-Span. I thought Franken was a bit over the line until
he pointed out
after Imus was so crude to the first lady, Newtie said "People in this
town need to
develope a thicker shin," so Franken let him have it.
It wasn't pretty, and Newt wasn't laughing.
Best line of the night was this:
Dutch Reporter: Al, who's your favorite Republican?
Franken: I guess I'd have to say 'Bob Dole.'
Dutch Reporter: Bob Dole? But he's soooo old.
Franken: Well, he was young enough to save your sorry Dutch
Ass!
(Massive laughter)
How long did Holland hold out against the Nazi's, about 24 hours?
The place went bonkers.
Clinton laughed the hardest.
Nobody hates Bob Dole.
Yet.
Everyone is thankful for the efforts the veterans gave in WW2.
Except the Dutch, I guess.
RL-LNW does NOT have all the answers.
When D'Amato and Gingrich fight, who the hell to we root for?
When D'Amato and Buchanan fight, who the hell do we root for?
Gramm had a good one today. Sam Donaldson said
"Sen. Gramm, why would D'Amato attack the man
that gave him his Chairmanship on the committee?"
Gramm's answer? "D'Amato is way behind in the polls,
and when people are behind, they make wild charges."
ha ha
Paging Senator Straddle!!
This political year is a LOT of fun.
Wes Cooley, GOP Congressman from Oregon got caught.
He claimed he was Special Forces in Nam, turns out he was a warehouse
boy.
Then, his wife got caught taking her dead husband's military pension,
which you CAN'T DO if you remarry.
When cornered at the airport, reporters said, "Mr Cooley, are you married?"
Cooley: "I have to check my facts!"
Reporter: "You don't know if you're married?"
He's another one of them wacky GOP freshmen.
In 1993, not a single Republican Senator voted for
the Clinton Economic plan because, as Dick Armey said,
"This plan will cause a big recession, cost millions of jobs and it will explode the deficit."
But what really happened?
The ecomony heated up so much, Greenspan had to raise
interest rates seven times to slow it down, Clinton
created 8,000,000 new jobs and cut the deficit in half.
So the question is, was Armey lying or just stoopid?
Have you heard about the mccaw that escaped from a zoo in Seattle?
This bird can say "Hello," and his name, which I forget at the moment.
A zoo spokeman is asking people to report sightings of it so they can
track him.
"We must re-capture it bird before he comes to any harm ...or the vice-presidency."
No matter how many years go by,
Quayle jokes still rule.
I need to repeat the reason why this newsletter has the name it has.
Some of you read the explanation way back in volume 4, but people are
asking about it.
Early on, we kicked around several possible names.
So here is the Top 10 Rejected Names
for the Rush Limba-Lying, Nazi Whore newsletter:
10. Dr. Frankenslur's Creation.
9. Third Reich: The Next Generation
8. The Brown Boot Diaries.
7. Tales From the Cyst
6. Fatman Forever
5. Le Bette'
4. The Silence of the Sheep
3. The Rushian Front
2. The Wild, Wild Pest
and the number one rejected name for RL-LNW....
If the Swastika Fits!
In reality, here's the real reason:
One of Rush's favorite sayings is:
"Words MEAN Things." Let's take a good look at
the words chosen for the title of this Newsletter.
"Rush Limba," granted, spelled wrong.
It's my salute to Dan Quayle, plus it's a time saver.
"Lying" What can I say about Rush's honesty?
1. Rush said Hillary murdered Vince Foster in her apartment,
and dumped his body at Fort Marcy Park.
2. Rush says liberals "Do a Dance" when there's an abortion.
"Nazi" Strong word, eh? It's not a word I use loosely.
I went to the source, my old friend Webster,
to get the EXACT definition of a fascist nazi.
Here's how Webster defines fascism:
Fascism: (n) a system of government characterized by beligerent nationalism
and racism,
forcible suppression of the opposition, especially unions, leftists,
liberals, homosexuals and minorities.
Can you find Rush Limba in that definition?
I can.
"Whore" What can I say?
For a few dinero, Rush will tell his dittoheads that HIS carpet is
the best,
HIS air filters are the best, HIS orange juice tastes best, HIS flavored
tea tastes the best,
HIS carbon monoxide detector is the best, HIS nose strips let you breathe
easier,
HIS salsa is the best, HIS ugly ties are acceptable etc etc.
I'm not against a celebrity endorsing a product, but Rush Limba,
the Lying, Nazi Whore, will endorse ANYTHING that has a check
attached to it, even tho he's making $25,000,000 per year.
The best example is his support for a tax cut.
Rush would sodomize Clarence Thomas at noon in Times Square for a tax
cut.
Rush would endorse Clinton, he'd turn gay, he'd double welfare, he'd
cut the military,
ANYTHING, ANYTHING, because we all know how hard it is to
get by on $25,000,000 a year.
If there's a better definiton of a whore, please forward it
to the offices of Rush Limba - Lying, Nazi Whore.
What kind of person does the GOP recruit?
Off the top of my head, I came up with these examples:
1. The stupid co-star of "Bedtime for Bonzo"
2. The stupid purser from "The Love Boat"
3. The stupid bank secretary from "The Beverly Hillbillies"
4. The stupid air-traffic controller from "Die Hard II"
5. The stupid half of Sonny and Cher
Does anyone see a pattern developing?
Old Bob Dole...he's ALREADY a Washington Monument.
The smart quote of the day comes from June Barrett, who's husband was
shot to death
by Paul Hill, well-known "pro-lifer" religious-wacko.
"Women have the right to be in charge of their health and their reproductive
health.
It shouldn't be controlled by religion, government or men."
I believe in less government.
Do you?
Remember when The Republicans said "100,000 more cops won't prevent s single crime?"
I do.
But now the GOP-controlled Seanate has voted 97-3 to add 10,000 border cops.
If 100,000 cops won't make a difference, how can 10,000?
Hmmmmm???????
Thursday, Dole made a speech attacking Clinton for:
1. His record of raising taxes.
Compared to who? Reagan? Bush? Dole himself?
2. Failing to balance the budget.
Compared to who? Reagan? Bush? Dole himself?
Name a tax increase Dole voted against.
Go ahead, I'll wait.
That's why Gingrich called old Bob Dole "the tax collector for the welfare state."
3. Refusing to curb spending.
Compared to who? Reagan, the biggest spender in all of history?
Let me remind the newer readers that Reagan spent more money than
EVERY president from Washington through Carter COMBINED.
It's a fact.
(And please don't whine about 'Congress spent the money.'
Rush says "Reagan was a MASTER at handling Congress,"
and ANY encyclopedia will say "Reagan went over Congres's
head to the people to push his programs through.")
4. My favorite, being beholden to "special interests."
Compared to who?
The Cancer Lobby?
The NRA?
Archer Daniels Midland got a $6,500,000,000 tax break from Senator
Straddle,
but they claim Bill Clinton is "beholden?"
Dwayne Andreas, head of Archer Daniels Midland started giving massive
amounts of cash
to the Red Crss only AFTER Elizabeth Dole took over.
That's how "Liddy Dole" got the reputation as a Great fund-raiser.
The $6 BILLION that ADM got from Dole surely is a coincidence, right?
It has to be.
Another coincidence:
A year after Mrs Dole took over the Red Cross, Andreas's WIFE was appointed
to the Red Cross Board of Governors. ADM broke it's feet running to
the Red Cross
with cash then, even though it didn't pony up any in the pre-Dole years.
Maybe we need four years of hearings on this???
Poor old Bob Dole.
I hope his reputation survives '96.
John McCain says Dole needs to stress his humble Kansas upbringing in
this campaign.
Why is that?
The fact that young Bob Dole was so poor, he had to shave the family
dog
so he could sell the fur makes him presidential material?
Schoolchildren in Dunblane, Scotland got more than 5,000 teddy bears
in March
after the mad gunman killed 16 children.
When did the NRA open an office in Scotland?
President Clinton has AGAIN asked old Bob Dole to sit
down, man-to-man and hammer out a balanced budget.
"It's the only way it will happen," says Leon Panetta.
Old Bob Dole's response? "I'll take it up with my colleges in the Senate."
Bob, please, JUST once, take a position on SOMETHING?
What do you get when you bring together every protectionist, every isolationist,
ultranationalist, segregationist, anti-immigrationist and white-supremist
in the United States of America?
A. A democratic congress
or
B. A eight-year reich.
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