0224mail

Subject: Jimmy Carter Arab Support

BartCop,

Remembering that Jimmy Carter's hands were very dirty with Arab oil money to him
and his first brother. It explains why he supports them now. They have been very good to him.

(Jimmy Carter Opens His Mouth: "I think it will take years before we can
repair the damage done by that statement [Axis of Evil]")

You idiot - the "Axis of Evil" doesn't involve real Arabs.
Is your brain retarded?

Smirky's "Avis of Evil" is North Korea, Iraq and Iran.
Click Here to see "CIAnderson" get hurt by the FACTS

From: joesantos@mindspring.com

Subject: Let's Roll: Agree/Disagree

BC-

Just read your very excellent piece on Dumbya's repeated use of "Let's Roll", and... I agree, but I disagree.

I agree with what I take to be your primary sentiment: The Election-Stealer is trying his best to evoke
the spine, the guts, the strength that Beamer embodied when he uttered that phrase at 35,000 feet.
Here's a guy with a million times the depth of character that President AWOL will ever have laying it all
on the line, and now, defiling his memory just mere months later, here's President Daddy's Boy using it
every ten seconds as the tag line to every stupid, clumsy speech he makes. Koresh, I expect the GOP
to try to slap a "sm" (Slogan Mark?) on the words any day now. It's assinine. I'd like to think people
can see this idiotic parroting for the shameless act it is, but I'm too pessimistic for that.

Here's what I disagree with: That phrase doesn't belong to President Shrub, but it doesn't belong to
Todd Beamer either. It's a phrase that's part of modern American English. Wanna know where I first
became familiar with "Let's Roll"? In the video game "StarCraft". All the little battle units in that game
have a blurb they say when you click on them. The guy in the Terran Science Vessel always says "Let's Roll!"

That game came out in '98, and the phrase slowly slipped into my vocabulary. The other day, as my wife
and I were heading out, I said "Let's Roll!" (using the same accent as the StarCraft guy, as I always do)
and she looked at me with a grimace: "Oh god, that's what Bush keeps saying!" Imagine my disgust.

Ya see, the sons of bitches can't steal Todd Beamer's heart, but we shouldn't allow them to steal our
language either. You think Beaman reserved "Let's Roll" for "life-and-death utterances"? Of course not.
He seemed like a cool guy, who knows? He may very well have used it when he was "trying to break
the beer chugging record at some fucking bar." Just because President Never Worked A Day In His Life
wants to corrupt Beaman's memory doesn't mean we should enshrine a piece of language that belongs to all of us.

Joe Santos

Joe, I understand what you're saying.
For all we know, Beamer owned that video game.

I don't have all the right words here, but Beamer elevated that phrase to new heights.
When Patrick Henry said, "Give me liberty or give me death," those weren't new words.
But by saying them when he did - he gave them new meaning.

Recently I've opined that Mrs. Beamer should not try to copyright the phrase, because, as you said,
those are common, everyday words. I just don't want Usurper Boy to use Beamer's courage to enrich
his already-rich crooked friends by passing another tax cut using "Let's roll" as his mantra.

From: levenleven@earthlink.net

Subject: Crisco Boy

It's a real horse race to see who Crisco Boy pulls off the internet first - you or Betty Bowers.
I love your site and can't imagine a day without it, but in this race my money is on Betty.

She has really been blasting Bush's every move and word lately.
She has to be the funniest woman on the planet.

Betty Bowers - even money
Bartcop - 3-1

All the best....

Pat

Pat, I agree!
Betty is a MUCH bigger threat to the security of America! :)

"My new secret torture chamber is almost ready.
We'll get this Pat Fella and BartCop and secretly torture them to death,
but Miss Betty Bowers is America's best Christian.
Sometimes she says things that the slow-witted feel mocks our president,
but she's right on those Catholics and sluts and the rest of the unsaved.
I visit her site at www.bettybowers.com every chance I get."
I'm also buying her book."

click

From: nattiebo@netcologne.de

Subject: Tiger Woods and the Hex

Dear Bartcop,
May I have an archive reference for when and why
the Cablinasian golfer got the hex put on him?
Natasha

Natasha,
Not sure where in the back issues it's buried, but I have two problems with Tiger:

1. What's he done for the black man, or poor people in general?
     He's got his hundred million dollars and everyone's attention.
     Why isn't he speaking out against all-white golf courses?
     Why is he cozying up to Whitey and the GOP?
     It's not like he has to put food on his family.

     I have a rule - once you get your hundred million in the bank, you're supposed
     to do what's fucking right and stop playing the whore. I have more respect for the
     man in the chicken costume at KFC trying to feed his family than a pampered and
     monsterously-overpaid whore who has forgotten that his skin is black.

2. He won some big tournament a few years ago, The Masters maybe,
     so Clinton invited him to the WH.   Tiger refused to go.
     When asked why, he said something incredibly lame like,
     "I wasn't invited before, so I'm not going now."

     To which I replied, "Hey, Tiger, I haven't been invited either, but that's because
     I've never won the Masters or the World Series or the Super Bowl."
     You don't get invited for being "Tiger Woods."
     You get invited after a major championship.

So, I put the BartCop Hex on him in July 2001, and he's won one tournament since.
It's possible he'll never win another tournament the rest of his life.

From: fiwstone@hotmail.com

Subject: Liberal media?

Since you asked for an e-mail, you got one.

You left out the HUNDREDS of libs that are not so well known
and the THOUSANDS of libs that are on local news outlets and the
TENS of THOUSANDS of lib-producers who spin the stuff to begin with.

Are you OK?
Does your brain work?
Did you get stuck with one of those E.I.B. brains?
You poor bastard, I'll say a prayer for you.

Yes, I left out the HUNDREDS of libs that are not so well known
just like I left out the HUNDREDS of right-wing-nuts that are not well known.
The right-wing crazies I mentioned all all nationally known and on TV/radio every day.
Does your brain work at all?

Conservatives are the minority, period.

Yeah, but funny how you guys still win elections without the votes.

You must be a lib too or you would be reporting the truth
instead of spinning this crock about bill and his cock.

Mark in Ohio

Mark, libs didn't focus on nothing but Bill's cock for nine years.
That was done by your side, remember?

Plus, you had a chance to correct my "lies," but with that abby-normal E.I.B. brain
you don't have a clue how to respond to the facts, you poor bastard..

From: (withheld)

Subject: How to read your page

Dear BartCop,

For the longest time, I read the pages on your site going from the bottom to the top,
because you seem to put the new stuff at the top when you update a day's page.
But once, I came across an item that had me going, "Huh?" until I found an earlier item
that preceded it higher up on the page. So I started reading the pages from the top to the bottom.
Now, in Volume 724 you have the second reference to Pigboy's will-gold-skyrocket banner
at the very top, and the first reference to it lower on the page.

<Bugs Bunny reference>
Which way do I scroll, George? Which way do I scroll?
</Bugs Bunny reference>

Sincerely,
Greg

Greg, it's weird, isn't it? Twice I've tried to place the new stuff at the bottom
and both times readers howled like John Wayne Bobbitt on his worst day.

Lately, tho, I've been doing Wednesday's page on Tuesday nights, so generally
the pages have been complete without any updates. Volume 724 was unusual.

Also, any time I try to change or update the format, people write and say
they prefer my "dumb and simple" format that they've become accustomed to.

From: buchner@epix.net

Subject: Dennis Miller

I was in a hotel last night surfing the channels and came to Dennis Miller on HBO.
What the fuck happened to the guy? Was it the drugs? Or did somebody buy him out?
Couldn't believe my ears - throw the constitution out the window
- torture people if that's what it takes to get information. Unbelievable!

You ought to focus some attention on NPR - they have undergone a serious sea-change.
I have a 1.5 hour commute everyday and have listened over five years as the once proud
radio network sold out - depressing!

Brad B.

Brad, Dennis Miller turned whore for that extra dollar.
I was shuffling some MP3s the other day and I ran across a CD of his rants.
He railed on and on against the "fascist bastards" of the GOP and talked about
how what a totally soulless and mean-spirted group of racist thugs they were,

...and then he joined then because Bill Clinton enjoyed a hummer?

Back when he was funny, hip and relevant, he wrote this great line:
"My orgasm is the most important thing in the world to me,
and it should be the LEAST important thing to you."

...and then he joins the cock-hunting Nazis in their sacred jihad against Clinton.

I guess that's what happens when you work with Al Michaels,
who is a great play-by-play announcer and an even greater Nazi scumbag.

Remember how Miller used to make fun of the sellout whores?
Now he's giving Usurper Boy Monica on command.
It's really sick.

As far as NPR turning whore, the GOP threatened them with no more funding
if they didn't start telling more lies about Clinton's zipper and they caved.
There are no Julie Hiatt Steele's over at NPR.