Hey Larry!
If I can afford a web page,
you can, too.
Why wait for someone else to tell the story?
From: mbatchelor@hits.att.com
Subject: A note from a Christian
You said you never heard a Christain say "I love
Jesus more than Rush".
Well, I love Jesus.
He's one cool liberal dude. (That's why he had
to die)
I'll spend the rest of my life trying to forgive
the vulgar Pigboy
and Red-ink Reagan for what they have done......
J. Mark Batchelor
Mark, good to hear from you.
I'm pretty sure you're the only Christian that feels that way,
but at least now I can say I've met a Christian who put Jesus first.
Thanks,
bc
klass@musician.org sent that excellent Al Franken article on Smirk,
Irrational Affairs: Is Bush Dumb?
Great anti-Smirk Quotes
"When I said that we had the proof, I'm
referring to knowing who the girl was,
knowing who the doctor was that
performed the abortion, evidence from the
girlfriends of hers at the time, who knew
about the romance and the subsequent abortion.
The young lady does not want to go public,
and without her willingness, we don't feel
that we're on solid enough legal ground
to go with the story, because should she say
it never happened, then we've got a potential
libel suit. But we know we have enough
evidence that we believe completely. One
of the things that interested us was that this
abortion took place before Roe vs. Wade
in 1970, which made it a crime at the time.
I'd just like the national media to ask
him if abortion is okay for him and his family,
but not for the rest of America. We're
not looking at it as a big issue, we're looking
at it as a situation of people not being
told the truth. I think the American people have
a right to know everything there is to
know about someone running for President."
-- Larry Flynt, in the CNN chat room tonight.
Twice today,
I heard Rush say he knew Clinton and Gore like "the back of my
hand."
(cough)
Considering his current fixation,
wouldn't it be more descriptive for Rush to say he knows
Clinton and Gore like "the palm of my hand?"
Ask BartCop
Hi,
I was listening to the local
morning news on Thursday morning before
leaving for work (yes, we Gore voters do go to
work each and every morning,
contrary to what the right wing thug talk radio
morons might have you believe)
What I heard was that someone from the Bush camp
had stated
that the "W" in Boy George's name stood for "woman."
Does this mean that his complete name is George
Woman Bush?
Best regards,
Bob
Bob,
Yes,
BartCop
From: englands1st@hotmail.com
I don’t plan on voting for George W. Bush or Al
Gore in November,
but there’s something especially obnoxious about
the latter. Tuesday’s
(sanitized and exclusionary) debate clinched
my perception of the Clinton-adulator.
It wasn’t just Gore’s histrionic rigidity or general
sleaziness that did it;
it was his Clintonian inability to adhere to
norms.
And if anything indicates his incapacity to be
President, this is it.
Andrew Sullivan of The New Republic gives a good summary of what I’m talking about:
"[H]e ran over his time, he violated the rules
which bar the candidates from asking
direct questions of each other and he often used
the questions as a platform to go
off on another spiel. This was really irritating.
I bet a lot of viewers objected to these tactics.
They seemed calculated and arch, and played into
deeper worries about his character."
Some might consider these infractions trivial,
but I don’t. They point to what would be
Gore’s executive approach: When the rules stand
in your way, get a trampoline. If Al Gore
can’t so much as adhere to forensic protocol,
his prospects for constitutional adherence are grim.
(Instead of indulging Gore’s prohibited queries,
Bush had a golden opportunity to demolish him
a la, "I don’t know how the Vice President can
be trusted to preserve, protect, and defend
the Constitution when he can’t even stick to
our mutually agreed upon debate rules.")
Gore has foreshadowed as much, for instance this stated intention in a debate with Bill Bradley:
"I would look for justices of the Supreme Court
who understand that our Constitution is a
living and breathing document, that it was intended
by our Founders to be interpreted in the
light of the constantly evolving experience of
the American people."
This vacuity renders organic law an indeterminate
plaything for the judicial class.
Don’t you wish for once a constitutional radical
would have the honesty to say,
"Listen, I got an agenda, and if violating the
Constitution is what it takes to get it
done, that’s what I’m gonna do." At least the
subversion wouldn’t be fraudulently packaged.
Have no doubt: Gore’s forensic malfeasance is
a portent of what we can expect from a
Gore administration. I just hope we don’t have
to watch this bloodless cipher make a
further mockery of American nomocracy by taking
the oath of office.
- Myles Kantor
Brian,
I'm the last guy to be giving this advice, but that e-mail is
a mess.
It was bad communication.
I can't tell what you think, what Andrew Sullivan (who's utmost
full of shit) thinks,
what Gore's quotes are, and who the hell is Myles Kantor?
Perhaps, instead of others speaking for you, tell me what YOU
think.
Besides, if two equals are running and one is rude, fine - vote
for the other guy.
But you're auditioning a pilot for your private plane, and you
might hire some
fuck-monkey who doesn't know what the controls in the cockpit
are?
I've always known you to make sense, so this is a shock.
I never expected you to vote Gore, but to say you'd doom America
to four years of less-than incompetence because the competent
guy
was rude puts you far away from a logical decision.
"Gore’s forensic malfeasance is a portent?"
Did you think you were sending that to George Will or William
F Buckley?
It's my best guess you won't reach anybody with that
goofy language.
One last thing: Andrew Sullivan is the most gay man
in America, and he
hates everybody who supports gay rights, and he'd gladly
lay down his life
to further the election of a gay-hating mother-effer.
I think that makes him insane.
Recommendation: Next time you send an e-mail with the thoughts
of four
different authors, send an htm-file with each speaker in a different
color.
...and remind me not to fly with you.
Another visit from... Lo Phat Ham!
From: dr.bomb@usa.net
Subject: Rush and the CCH
Speaking of porno, what's the deal with Fat Bastard
and his cock
fixation? Where's the goddamned conservatives
concerning this breach of
their anti-porno platform? Isn't Fat Bastard
a GUY? Where's the Family
Research Council? Where's "Mr. Morality" Bill
Bennett?
Oh yeah, they're "conservative" so they get to
claw at all the cock they
want. I'm amazed they didn't get some of Matt
Glavin's cock. I'm sure
all of them could enjoy a mutually-enjoyed circle
jerk: The very essence
of conservatism in its purest form.
--dr.bomb
P.S. I still don't understand PapaX7. Pretty soon
the only good porno,
if the conservative xtians get their way, will
come from conservative
websites. Isn't that their hidden agenda? Besides
porno is a very
lucrative industry. Ask "Not A Doctor" Laura
and her pet beaver.
ha ha
P.P.S. During the release of the Starr report,
legislation concerning
internet censorship was on the floor in the House.
Does that make these
conservatives pornographers?
Yes!
A Message for George W Bush
5:41 CDT
Larry Flynt due on Crossfire in less than an hour.
Will Flynt deliver?
Or are we just jerking off?
From: (withheld)
Subject: Republican Penis Envy: Great Pigboy stroke me.
Bartcop,
i was listening to Commander Assgrime while
i was grading papers
today in my little classroom at my
all girl Catholic high school.
Whoops, sorry, dropped my keyboard - go ahead...
After i shook off the lightning strike i
heard Assgrime confess his penis envy.
He said the following:
"There could be envy [about the size
of Gore's cock on Clinton's penis] in this.
You women know this. I, uh, I understand
it."
john
chicago
From: MLBRUNKER@aol.com
Subject: Smirk's strong suit
>>Does anyone know what Smirk's strong suit is? <<
He has lovely manners and knows how to make himself agreeable to be around.
Nothing wrong with that--I wish I had those
skills myself. It's just that
simple graciousness isn't all you want
in the Leader of the Free World.
Summit with Mid-east leaders?
Let's give them a nice cup of tea and chit-chat
about our kids.
Abortion rights?
It's such an ugly topic, let's talk about
something else.
Federal budget?
Oh my, look at all those numbers.
There ARE lines of work that he'd be good
at--for example,
I think he'd be quite good as a professional
charity fund-raiser.
Best,
Marla
NYC
Best line I've heard lately:
"Bush wears that smirk like a fucking
tattoo - he can't get rid of it."
--Ditto-monkey Vic at work.
While searching for Al Franken's article at Rollingstone.com
I ran into their review of the new U2
CD.
Excerpt:
U2's tenth studio album and third masterpiece, All That You
Can't Leave Behind,
is all about the simple melding of craft and song. On this CD,
U2 distill two decades
of music-making into the illusion of effortlessness usually only
possible from veterans.
It represents the most uninterrupted collection of strong melodies
U2 have ever mounted
...I never did find that Al Franken article - was it good?
Hey, Papax7@prodigy.net
At 13 minutes after during the third hour, Rush did ANOTHER
funny joke about how Monica was gagging on Clinton's cock!
Your favorite Damp Rid salesman uses God's talent more wisely
every day...
Congrats on your choice of idols, my religious friend.
You can hold your head high with pride.
Do you know what I just did?
I just returned from the adult book store where I bought the Penthouse
with the Paula Jones pix and the article by my good friend
Joe Conason.
(I haven't seen the pix yet, I'll post them tonight)
I was low on money, and didn't want to use my credit card for
a $5 purchase
so I looked around for something else to buy.
The first thing I saw that I liked was the October 12 issue of
Rolling Stone.
On the cover is the best looking picture I've ever seen of Kate
Hudson.
You see, as a Democrat, I enjoy looking at pictures of beautiful
women,
while the GOP enjoys studying the bulges in the pants of Clinton-Gore.
I thought it was fitting, proper and prophetic that while Maja-Gruntbo
was
panting over the pictures of Al Gore's cock, I was panting over
the picture
of the hottest, most gorgeous and talented young movie
star of the year.
So don't believe the Buchanan-ites and the Nader-oos when they
say
there's no difference between the two parties - it's just not
true.
Pix, pix, pix tonight!
From: DENNISC@iadb.org
Subject: Bo Derek - Dumb Blonde
BC,
Bo Derek was on GMA to promote Smirk and
her new line of barnyard
animal deodorants products. When
Diane Sawyer pressed her about the
dichotomy between her well known pro-choice
beliefs and her support for W
she said "we're way beyond that, a woman's
right to choose will never again
be challenged", thereby validating every
dumb blonde joke you ever heard
(as if the line of barnyard animal deodorants
wasn't enough).
She reminds me of that un-PC Todd Rundgren song,
"We Gotta Get You a Woman," with the line,
"They may be stupid but they sure are fun..."
El Vulgarro said his web site got over a million hits yesterday.
You know what the big attraction was?
Gore's cock.
Pigboy says it was the picture of Gore's cock that caused his
website to have it's bigget hit-count ever.
What the hell's going on in this world?
He's still talking about it (2:12 CDT)
That makes five hours he's spent on Gore's cock.
Anyone know what the record is?
Fun with Sound
I tried to do this a few days ago and the link was down.
Remember Pigboy said we should judge Algore by whatever
he was doing and saying in the seventies?
Then we gagged at Pigboy's picture?
Here's an audio clip of Disco Pigboy.
Click Here
to hear what a fraud sounded like in the seventies, then
Click Here
to hear how similar the same fraud sounds in the 21st Century.
If there's anybody who can listen to these two or three clips
and not
admit the lying sphincter is a total fraud - send me some e-mail!
Click Here
to find out what Rush does when he's alone,
thinking about a certain body part of a certain best-ever president.
Paul Harvey, the aging horse molester, says asthma has
doubled
in the last twenty years, and it's the seventh-most deadly disease.
Sounds like another reason to elect a man from Big Oil.
Giving Secrets to the Chi-Coms
Excerpt:
The documents provided by the defector
show that during the 1980s,
Beijing had gathered a large amount
of classified information about U.S.
ballistic missiles and re-entry vehicles.
The missile secrets are more likely
to have come from defense officials
or missile builders than from Los Alamos
or other U.S. nuclear-weapons labs,
officials said.
Let's see... who was president in the 80's?
Oh, that's right, it was Red-Ink Reagan.
So it happened under Reagan's watch?
According to the new (1/20/93) rules,
that makes Reagan a traitor.
Maybe we should put his body on trial?
I can't wait for that revenge-minded Democratic congress..
Does anyone know what Smirk's strong suit is?
The defendant was a no-show, so I won a default judgment
Bo-ring...
Wish it had been more colorful, but at least I have my "sea legs"
back,
whatver the hell that's supposed to mean.
My next court date is Nov 2 or 6th, something like that.
Maybe there will be some excitement next time...
I don't know the author.
From: Quilter898@aol.com
Subject: Gore's Nether Regions
Dear Bart,
I am a heterosexual, sexually active woman.
I know why *I* am interested in men, and I can't
help wondering why all of these
supposedly heterosexual men seem to be so interested
in Al Gore's nether regions.
Most of the men I know are far more interested
in women, so I find this quite curious.
Not that there's anything wrong with it, of course.
And if Al Gore is generously made, that explains
why Tipper has four children
and constant smile on her face, while Rush Windbag
has been married three
times and has no children.
And they say that women have penis envy!
Barb
For almost three years, I've wondered why the Clinton haters are so
eager
to get on their knees on front of Bill Cinton, unzip his zipper, lick
their lips,
then reach inside his pants and fish around for his manhood.
The more they hate Clinton, the more service he gets from them.
Rush, Russert and Hannity are the most constant "fishermen."
Then you have that entire Ann Coulter, Barbara Olson, Paula Jones,
Susan Carpenter-McWhore, Kathleen Willey and Linda Tripp gang.
All of these women, when asked, say they don't like Clinton, but they
have
entwined their lives with Clinton's cock for so many years, they panic
at the
thought of it going away, so now they lick their lips when they see
Al Gore.
That proves Clinton has been a magnificent success as president.
They can't touch his handling of the economy.
They can't touch his handling of domestic affairs.
They can't touch his handling of foreign affairs,
so they try to touch his genitals!
Funny, it seems so clear when you turn the situation around.
I have no desire to touch Bush's genitals - never had - ever.
Had to desire to touch Bob Dole's genitals, either, but maybe that's
the
difference between a Democrat and a Republican in today's whore America.
Of course, I feel sorry for them...
Sometimes, I want a tequila party in Las Vegas really badly.
Not liquor, you understand, but fine, luxury tequila, Chinaco
Anejo or better,
so I know how it feels to want something real bad and not get to taste
it.
If I was a religious man, I'd pray for their cock addiction.
Maybe with God's help, they could break the stranglehold that
Clinton's cock,
and now President-elect Gore's cock, has on them.
From: tdpitt@nwol.net
Subject: Al Smith dinner
Hey BC,
Did you see Gore on the Al Smith dinner?? GOD
he was funny.
Smirk just stood up there and did his little
hunched shoulder tee hee,
I swear he looks like a Muppet when he does that....
They know who you are at algore2000.com
I spoke to the guy in ICQ chat, he told me the
CAMPAIGN has seen your page,
and that it was funny. So, no real shock that
your bits may be borrowed
(conclusion on my part) from time to time....
....and that Law & Order (I bet Smirk doesn't
watch, cause he thinks it's a
gardening show....Lawn Order.....) Wednesday
was so....so....Smirky...
That atty for the defense acted like GWB soooo
much....
later,
Loc
TD, thanks for that, and yes, the L&O guy was Smirk's double,
I thought the same thing. His smirking was so outrageous
I thought it would be a plot twist - as in "he's no lawyer."
And I've seen HUNDREDS of L&O shows, and never
has the judge called a lawyer incompetent before.
Had to be directed at Smirk.
bc
The Al Smith dinner
Bush, Gore Show Humorous Side
NEW YORK (AP) - Both Gore and Bush got off some choice one-liners at
Thursday's Al Smith Dinner in New York - an annual banquet benefiting
Catholic
charities that showcases top political leaders and their self-mocking
humor.
It is named for the former four-term governor of New York who was the
unsuccessful 1928 Democratic presidential candidate and also the
first Catholic to run for president.
Some highlights:
Gore: The vice president suggested Smith had run on a platform
of building
"a bridge to the 1930s.'' He said he was glad to see that Bush had
"adopted the same agenda this year.''
Bush: The story of Al Smith's historic run for the presidency
is truly inspiring.
It gives me hope that, in America, it's still not possible for a fellow
named Al
to be commander in chief.''
Gore: Surveying the $800-a-plate white-tie crowd: "This is a
fund-raiser, isn't it?
Whenever I see everybody dressed the same way, my antenna goes straight
up,''
referring to his 1996 fund-raiser at a Buddhist temple in California.
Bush: "This is an impressive crowd: the haves and the have-mores
... Some people call you the elites. I call you my base.''
Gore: ``I never exaggerate. You can ask Tipper or any one of our 11 daughters.''
Bush: On advice from his wife Laura: "Don't try to be witty, charming or debonaire. Just be yourself.''
Bush: "There's really no place like New York, especially for baseball fans like me and Mrs. Clinton.''
Gore: Said he did not "get to use some of my best zingers'' in
the three debates.
Here's one, he said: "Governor, there I go again.''
Gore: Suggested he wanted to connect his program with real people,
and that
there was a woman he hoped to get out of public housing.
"Hillary Clinton I want to fight for you.''
Bush: Noted that fellow Yale graduate Qilliam F. Buckley was
in the audience.
"We have a lot in common. Bill wrote a book at Yale. I read one.''
Bush: Making fun of his difficulty in pronouncing names of foreign
leaders:
"Do you know what this world really needs? It needs more leaders named
Al Smith.''
Gore: Poking fun at his audible sighs during the first debate:
"I may not be the funniest president. But I will never sigh to you.''
Gore: Kidded his running mate, Joseph Lieberman, for his outspoken
devotion
to his Jewish faith. "Joe Lieberman will get 20 seconds to rebut grace.''
Gore: Joked about a Democratic ``mole'' in the Bush campaign
in Austin, saying
the spy had faxed him all of Bush's jokes for the dinner - and that
he had used them.
"That's why you're on your own, governor.''
Bush: Responded to Gore's criticism that the top 1 percent of
taxpayers would benefit
the most from his tax-cut plan. He said Gore hadn't heard his latest
plan:
"The bottom 99 percent get to split Dick Cheney's stock options.''
Today in History
Oct. 20, 1973: In the so-called "Saturday Night Massacre,"
special Watergate
prosecutor Archibald Cox was dismissed and Attorney General Elliot
Richardson and
Deputy Attorney General William Ruckelshaus resigned because
Nixon the Republican
turned even more crazy and tried to have the FBI arrest the Justice
Department.
That's a scandal, folks.
Smirk commuted the death
sentence of Henry Lee Lucas
Does anyone know why?
The Christian women, the grandmothers - he mocks then executes,
but the admitted serial killer gets a break?
Click Here for more info on Smirk's friend, Henry Lee Lucas
From: kissfan72@peoplepc.com
Subject: Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid
Talk about family values!
Limba sounded like those welfare Cadillac drivers
he and Ronnie are so fond of knocking!
Now, I have said and used every cuss word in
the English language but today's program
was the most disgusting I have ever heard on
radio.
Worse than Juan Williams.
Worse than Doc Harpy.
Worse than Paul Horsecock.
It's bad enough to speak on public radio waves
matters best left to the adults bedroom
but today Rash was all aghast at what he claimed
was the "size of Al Gore's package".
What makes a man go homo like that?
Limba, as usual, thought he was being the smartest
political observer on the scene
and was boasting about being the first to find
out and to present fully to the public
the issue of Al Gores genitals. How big? Bigness
seemed to fascinate Mr. Lameballs.
I wonder why?
I've had higher plane conversations in whore houses
where at least the occupants
are trying to better themselves, Koresh love
'em.... Sometimes Rush seems to want
to hit the bottom of the trash barrel. Today
he won that struggle.
He also boasted he had learned how to play his
audience of morons into
a $10 million a year contract, reputed to be
the highest in radio.
When Rash Lameballs speaks, the world listens!
So much for the trash man.
Best Regards from your Louisville Bureau,
Brian
Brian, yes, that's why he's called the vulgar Pigboy.
I wish I understood why people loved this fraud so much.
When I ask my "Christian friends" why they love Rush more than God
all they can say is, "Rush IS God," and that makes me hurl chunks.
Swear to Koresh - I have never heard one "Christian" say,
"I love Jesus Christ more than Rush Limbaugh."
All that Rush-Drudge cross-talk about Algore's "package?"
Rush says, again and again, the reason they airbrushed the photo
was because Algore is too big down there.
Odious has obtained the original cover for us.
Click Here
(must be 18)
Duh,
I have an early date, so I won't hear Screech react to the West
Wing episode.
Shirley, someone will tape it, so if she starts crying,
I can put that killer audio up for all to hear!
Joe Conason on Talk Back Live
This is from Tuesday, TalkBack Live on CNN.
This is the picture that made Matt Drudge ask about Gore's cock,
enabling the vulgar Pigboy to spend three hours on his cock today,
and no doubt he'll stay on Gore's cock all day tomorrow.
Since Rush is spending the week on Gore's cock, that gives Tim
Russert
the green light to spend a whole hour on Gore's cock Sunday morning.
Way to go, Tim!
Have you ever seen so many desperate cock-hungry men in your life?
Q. What do you get if you cross Smirk and a woodchuck?
A. A woodchuck with a learning disorder.
From: watsmata4u@monmouth.com
Subject: Judi Nathan
About 2 weeks ago NY had a Columbus Day
parade.
Rudy marched his whore up the avenue until
they got a block
from the Catholic church where he was to
receive a blessing.
Judi disappeared.
Rudy, the good Catholic knelt in front
of the priest and was blessed.
Trust me, if Rudy had written them a bigger check
he could have sex with his whore in the first pew.
Why is Rudy getting a "wink" from these men of God?
Rudy's good for "business," is that why he gets a pass?
Isn't that like letting the bus driver eat free
if he brings in 40 paying customers for supper?
Is this horseshit or what?
This is how they sell religion?
Rudy and his whore get a pass because he's good for business?
Jesus Christ!
Am I the last moral man standing?
And they bitch at Hollywood?
Koresh - I sound like Doc Harpy...
But then again,
I've never straddled a camera lenses or argued homo-cide
so once again,
I find myself occupying higher ground than my opponent.
I wish some Catholic would explain this "buy a Stairway to Heaven"
crap.
Is there a point at which a religious person would ever say,
"No - keep that. We'd rather keep our souls. We don't need your money, Sir.."
How do you think the Kennedy's got their 20-year marriages annulled?
They wrote checks to whichever parish would agree to disown
centuries
of Catholic dogma and re-write Kennedy family history.
I've seen their first wives, why can't God?
How did BartCop get better eyesight than God?
It's an open market - selling the Grace of God - if you
have the cash.
What a total scam.
It's Oral Roberts, but with a stone tent.
Does God not mind them selling his name for cash?
Next thing you know, the Pope will do Damp Rid commercials.
If I had less of a sense of morality, I'd start a church.
...and that's the third time in the last five minutes I've been
forced onto
higher moral ground by people or organizations using God's name
(If you write with a complaint, before you say:
"You're a bad man, why do you hate the Catholics?
Answer the damn questions - deal?)
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