 |
||||
|
|
 |
|
.........
|
|
|
|
||||
|
|
|
|
.........
|
|
..............................BartCop
Store.........................................................................
...
...... .........................................................................................................................................................................Support
Bartcop.com
|
|
..............Help
Wanted...............Did
you hear it?
Judge Postpones Jenna Bush Case
AUSTIN, Texas –– A judge, probably appointed by
Smirky, agreed to postpone the case
of 19-year-old party tart Jenna, who is charged
with alcohol possession by a minor.
Community Court Judge Elisabeth Earle said Jenna's
attorney needed extra time because
he had knee surgery. She said she expected to
reschedule the case in the next couple of days.
Neither Jenna nor her grandpa's hand-picked attorney
appeared in court Wednesday.
Jenna was issued a misdemeanor citation early
Friday by undercover cops checking for minors
in possession of alcohol at nightclubs along
the popular East Sixth Street entertainment area.
Police said two Secret Service agents were outside
the bar and did not know Jenna was drinking.
Didn't these guys see the West Wing where
Bartlet explained to his daughter what
would happen if America's enemies were to snatch
young Jenna and spirit her away?
What good is the Secret Service if they're not even in the same building as their charge?
ha ha
From: garinp@icehouse.net
Subject: p.s.
Folk like you are going to poison the well to
the point where folk like me will give up even
hoping that the Democrats will grow a spine and
offer a presidential ticket we could tolerate.
Instead, by refusing to admit there's a problem,
you'll let the Dems. drift further to the right
(where the money is). The DLC will
get it's wet dream ticket - Joe Leiberman and Zell Miller.
When the electorate goes for the Rs they know
instead of the Rs they don't and the dauphine
gets a second term you'll wonder why. Maybe
you'll be able to blame those of us who vote
for any real liberal available or stay home.
I NEVER HEARD HOWLS ABOUT THE SANCTITY OF THE
TWO PARTY SYSTEM
WHEN THE LOON FROM TEXAS (remember Perot?) WAS
HANDING TWO TERMS TO ELVIS
(who has left the building)!!
If anyone has a clue, write to me.
Shannen Doherty pleads guilty to DWI
VENTURA, Calif. (AP) - Shannen Doherty, the Republican star of "Charmed,"
has pleaded no contest
to charges of acting like a Bush daughter. Doherty, 30, also has admitted
to a "special circumstance"
of refusing to submit to a chemical test. She is to be sentenced
June 12.
The GOP firebrand, who threatened to have her fiance anally sodomized
on her front lawn during
a drunken public argument was arrested in December after CHiPs saw
her Ford pickup weaving.
Prosecutors said her blood-alcohol level was .13%, well above the legal
limit of .08%.
As a first-time offender, Doherty will likely face 48 hours in jail
or five days in a work-release program.
Because of the "special circumstance," Doherty will also be given some
additional punishment,
possibly time in the judge's lap or a longer out-patient sentence,
Morse said.
Doherty stars in The WB series "Charmed," about three sisters who are witches.
Shannen entertained at GOP Nazi-Con
2000
An Open
Letter to David Horowitz
By Isaac Peterson
The first pitch he had seen in over four
years he lined up the middle for a single.
The second pitch he had seen in four years
was sent over the wall in right for a three-run homer.
His next at-bat, he bunted his way on base,
stole a base, then scored.
His fourth at-bat was a successful bunt
that set up the game-winning run.
Who else but Deion Sanders?
Even if you hate him, you must admit...
How Green
Is Their Valley
by Maureen Dowd - She hates everybody.
Click on those chalky thighs
'West Wing' creator charged
BURBANK, Calif. (AP) - Aaron Sorkin, creator of
the Emmy-winning drama "The West Wing," was
charged Monday with possession of illegal hallucinogenic
mushrooms, rock cocaine and marijuana.
Sorkin, 39, was arrested at Burbank Airport on
April 15 after security officers found a small bag
suspected of containing drugs in his carry-on
luggage. Prosecutors charged him with two felony counts
of drug possession - one for hallucinogenic mushrooms
and one for cocaine - along with one misdemeanor
count for marijuana, the Los Angeles County district
attorney's office said in a statement.
Sorkin, scheduled for arraignment Wednesday, remains
free on $10,000 bail.
This isn't good.
Rock cocaine isn't good.
Faces in the News
Karen Hughes, spotted going into Fox News studios in New York.
Just
get me some mane extenders
by Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle
Picking up on a story first reported here last week at bartcop.com
George Bush, the big brave man, shooting fenced lions for sport.
...son of a bitch...
From: lkilbride@mindspring.com
Subject: BartCop Caller to EIB Network
Before the caller to Rush Limbaugh's show gets
too excited with himself,
he should understand that he sounded like a liar
and a fool. He lied to
Limbaugh's screener about what he would talk
about even though he was
advised to tell the truth and whatever it was
could be discussed anyway.
He asked a question that has been answered a
hundred times before so he was
boring to listeners. He chickened out and
did not ask what he said he would and
prove that Bush was forcing arsenic and salmonella
down children's throats.
I would have liked hearing him explain those Democrat
ads, but he missed an
opportunity to be brilliant and sounded like
a coward and a looney!
Nothing was accomplished except to make BartCop
fans look like idiot
Robot Liberals without a brain in their numb
heads. What a blown opportunity
to reach millions of people with a meaningful
BartCop message.
He should apologize to BartCop for making him
look like a goofball.
What a stupid, cowardly, run-as-fast-as-I-can-to-get-away-because-I-am-a-coward
call it was. Then again, that is what your
website is all about:
Lies and moronic and childish pranks.
Larry Kilbride
PS. Could you publish my photograph (attached)?
I'm trying
to attract a woman.
Good luck, Larry.
Prediction
Rush has been relentless at plugging his pay-service pre-show.
He calls it "The Grooveyard of Forgotten
Hits," or something like that.
I've never seen it, obviously, because Pigboy's not getting any
of my money,
but he says he spins "great records" from his childhood for the
suckers willing
to pay $40 a year to hear what Rush's favorite songs are..
You know what this really means?
He'll soon announce that he misses being a music DJ and
will quit.
He's going to claim he's "made his mark" and "it's time to move
on,"
then he'll turn everything over to that prick Sean Hannity.
The truth is, he's got nothing to talk about without Bill Clinton.
So he's going
to retire with his hundreds of millions of "Chelsea is the White
House dog" dollars
because the one-note nasty Pigboy is nothing without Bill Clinton.
You heard it here first.
He's gotta stay a few months, to make it look like he could survive
without him,
but he's gone - probably at the end of the year.
On this week's Ally McBeal, "she" did it again.
She is Cindy Margolis, a low-level "supermodel" who's famous for
one thing:
She declared herself the "Queen of the Internet" and "Most downloaded
babe."
Neither could possibly be true.
Well, I take that back.
Somewhere, somehow, using certain criterial and
framing the question tighter than
the box Fed-Ex used when they ship the US Consitution, she might,
somehow,
squeak a victory somewhere with somebody, (surely not
a sighted individual)
but does this look like the "Queen of the Internet" to you?
Sorry about the crop job, but this picture was taken when she was still a porn queen.
Below's a more recent picture, after her rhinoplasty and a bottle
of hydro-peroxide
but still, she's not the best-looking woman on the Internet.
I don't know who is,
but it certainly isn't Cindy Margolis, so why does she bill herself
that way?
She's better-looking than Laura the Unloved, but they
share the same ego.
Niki Taylor
I just heard the news.
I'm sick..
The
Unexamined Presidency
by Bill Kovach and Tom Rosenstiel
Excerpt:
After three months, what do we know about the Bush administration?
Less than we should. A review of the press coverage of George
W. Bush reveals
some unexpected and troubling features of contemporary political
journalism.
click on
Quotes
"It was terrible the way so many members
of congress failed to show up for
the president's 100 Days dinner.
I don't know anybody who'd blow off the president."
-- Sgt Scurvy, yesterday.
Not counting Monica...
I can think of a few others, Rush.
Let's see, there was child-rapist Mark Chmura of the Green Bay
Packers.
He refused to go to the White House because Clinton was a pervert.
Then there's Mr. Perfect, himself, Tiger Woo
Tiger Woo refused to go to the White House because - get
this - he felt he should've been
invited before he won whatever tournament it was that
got him invited.
What an egotistical blowhard that Mr. perfect is.
So, Pigboy, when you say you don't know anyone who'd blow off
the president,
you're either lying or you're having another stroke.
Ask BartCop
From: (withheld)
Subject: Brittany Spears
Bart, you know that Pepsi commercial with Brittany
Spears and Bob Dole?
When she bobs her head up and down that way,
do you think she's trying to simulate oral sex?
Roger
Roger,
Yes, and welcome to planet Earth.
Follow-up
to invasion of the personal liberty snatchers
By James
Higdon
http://www.onlinejournal.com/Commentary/Higdon042901/higdon042901.html
Klansman Guilty in 1963 Alabama Church Bombing
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (Reuters) - A former member of
the Ku Klux Klan was found guilty
of first-degree murder on Tuesday for killing
four black girls in the 1963 bombing of a Birmingham
church, one of the most heinous crimes of the
civil rights era.
I read the entire story and didn't see Ted Olsen's name anywhere.
This is shoddy reporting.
Everybody knows if there's a black vs white issue, Smirk's white-power
attorney Ted Olsen
will be there fighting for whitey and subverting the constitution.
From: dogfolks@cape.com
Subject: Support Women's Soccer
Bart,
In the same issue, you have a soccer fiend who
is offering her services
to promote all soccer, all the time AND you exhort
your readers to
support women's soccer.
Do you see any sort of possible connection here?
Anne
Well, there's obviously a soccer connection...
But if you're asking what I think you're
asking,
(I'm losing my ability to make a point, it seems)
if I can't get anyone interested in football,
hockey and boxing,
I think a women's soccer column would go over
like a lead zeppelin.
From
Rolling Stone
May 24,
2001
On April 15th, Easter Sunday, Joey Ramone died in New York from lymphatic cancer.
That night, in the middle of U2's show at the Rose Garden in Portland,
Oregon, Bono took
a moment to tell the audience how his own life had been changed
by Joey and the Ramones -
by that voice and that big rock n roll heart beating inside each
song. Bono quickly found out
he was not the only one in the room who felt that way.
"I told the people 'I want to talk to you about Joey Ramone..."
and the whole crowd went up in this roar,"
Bono recalled with whispered awe. After telling the audience
how the Ramones "got us started as a band,"
Bono sang Amazing Grace, and then, with just The Edge on guitar,
went into Joey's plaintive diamond,
"I Remember You" from the Ramones 1977 album Leave Home.
"The shock was," Bono said, "the crowd sang it - the whole tune.
"Then I said that Joey had passed away that day. The roar stopped
right there - the place went silent.
It was a very powerful thing to be a part of."
From: josaund@attglobal.net
Subject: the honorable LT. Calley ???
Hey Bartcop,
Love your site and your attitude. Couldn't
let this pass.
Bob Arnold, said in a letter to you that cowards
like to attack
honorable men like ... and Lt Calley of the
My Lai massacre.
The My Lai massacre was a black day for the U.S
Army, made darker by the excuse by many
Americans that he was "just following orders".
Now apparently in some minds he is some sort of hero.
To accept or excuse what Calley and his men did,
is to say we are no better than Nazis.
There is a world of difference between shooting
women and children in cold blood in the light of day, and
accidently shooting them during a fire fight
at night. I am sure that Kerry would cringe at being grouped with
Calley.
Oh yes, I was rifle and recon platoon leader
in the 1st Infantry Div in 1966 and 1967.
My soldiers were as good as any that ever wore
the uniform.
It was the war that sucked. But that doesn't
excuse Calley.
regards
John Saunders
John,
I'm pretty sure the "Calley is a hero" group are a small minority.
...and a shot of Chinaco Anejo for you and your service.
McCain Critical of President Weak & Stupid
Excerpt:
John McCain criticized the First Moron for scrapping
rather than trying to fix
the 1997 Kyoto climate treaty and its efforts
to curb heat-trapping greenhouse emissions.
"I wouldn't have done that,'' said McCain. ``I
don't agree with everything in the Kyoto Protocol
but I think it is a framework we could
have continued to work with. We could have fixed it.''
From: (withheld)
Subject: Sports
BC:
I have an idea .
Wouldn't it be great if you just started soliciting
articles from your contributors re: their favorite teams.
Then all you need is someone to coordinate the
articles.
Think of it!
During the world series, you'd be down to two
teams,
and perhaps two dueling sports fans writing about
their favorite team.
For instance: It's a week before the AFC
championship game and, again, it's the Ravens and the Raiders
vying for the Superbowl bid. I'd be writing
about my favorite team (Raiders) and some other contributor
from the Baltimore area is writing about the
Ravens.
I think it could work.
Sounds like a great idea, but the Sports Page needs an html-savvy editor.
Hard to believe, out of the dozens of bartcop.com
readers, there are no sports fans.
Tabloids
could be President Bush's undoing
by Gene Lyons
This very well could be the best column of the year, so far.
Excerpt:
With one of their own in the White House,
the GOP plans no investigations of Bush's very spotty business career.
Crackpot tycoons like Richard Mellon Scaife
are chortling over tax cuts instead of hiring private eyes.
Pat Robertson hasn't called Bush
the antichrist, and Jerry Falwell's not peddling videos accusing him of
drug-smuggling or murder. Thanks to Kenneth
Starr, the independent counsel law longer exists.
So yeah, things are quieter in Washington.
The GOP smear machine has shut down.
Click Here and a shot of Chinaco for a great column by a great writer.
I just sent Gene an e-mail saying, "Job well done."
VCR
Alert - Pigboy on Larry King Thursday for the first time ever.
What's the catch?
Why would the vulgar Pigboy accept calls? (Or will they shield
him from the people, like Smirk?)
Larry King, the toughest prosecutor on TV isn't going
to be there.
So, who's taking his place? Who's the person Rush will feel comfortable
with?
Pat Sajak, which takes us to another great story. One of the
most famous TV appearances in all of politics
was when Rush substituted for Pat Sajak on the old Pat Sajak
Show. I have the tape (thanks, Isaac) but I've
just seen the first few minutes. I plan to view it and write
a complete report, as soon as I can find a free hour.
Anyway, on the part I've seen, Rush was really playing the fool.
He was doing all that horseshit
bombast
about how "I'm the greatest,"
and "I realize my greatness is shocking to you
little people," and
"I know you've never seen anyone as
great as me," and the audience wasn't buying it at all.
They started HOOTING, like with Arsenio, but in a bad way.
I'll try to get to that.
Remember, we were supposed to have a lull after the Smirk Landslide.
It never materialized. That was supposed to be catch-up time.
Have you ever noticed the theme song to Bill Maher's Politically
Incorrect
is actually the riff from Led Zeppelin's Misty Mountain Hop?
From: tomb@ptialaska.net
Subject: Rush's attack on Chelsea
BC, Alaska Tom here
There is one more very important reason we know Pigboy lied about the Chelsea incident.
That piece of shit excuse for a program was in
syndication and taped.
That means it could have been deleted before
it ever hit the airwaves.
I have even heard the fatboy say that that is
how syndication works,
you tape extra and edit it for what you want.
He wanted that attack on a little girl to stay in the program.
Pigboy you are a piece of cowardly shit.
Tom, well put.
He is a cowardly bastard, isn't he?
Historical
Marker in this Story
From: jcaicedo@lycos.com
Subject: Ann Coulter
Hello bC, JC here, it's been a while.
Anyway, in regards to the Ann Coulter artc., thanks
for bringing to light the fact
that hate can exist on the left. Now who says
your site is one-sided?
I mean think about it, if that was you up there
(although it wouldn't be) and someone
came at you to harm you, you know it wouldn't
be an act of love or compassion.
An act of ignorance and anger is more like it
and being that you're a pretty smart guy,
I know you'd be the first to see it that way.
As you know, verbal dissension is one thing (freedom
of speech anyone?)
but trying to accost someone because you disagree
with them is another.
Once again, thanks for bringing this to light.
P.S.,this isn't a flag issue. it's totally irrelevant
in the context of this letter.
There will always be disagreement when it comes
to the Conf. flag.
Thanks,dude.
The fact that Ann Coulter can't be seen in public
is hardly an indictment of the failures
of liberalism.
"Now who says your site is one-sided?"
I have no answer for that question.
Smirky's 1040 has been unearthed by Modern Humorist
Quotes
"Bush's tax plan is now set to phase
in after ...eleven years?
What's the heck is this eleven
years business? Reagan did his tax cut in three years.
You have do do it quickly, or
it won't happen, because many of these coconuts
in Congress won't be here after
the next election."
-- the nasty Pigboy, third hour today
Coconuts in congress?
Hmmm...let's see...
Coconuts are brown on the outside and white on the inside.
Was Rush talking about Oklahoma's Uncle OJ Watts?
From: Nick Barlow Senior bartcop.com foreign correspondent
Subject: World Press Freedom Day
Don't know if you already know about this,
but May 3rd is World Press
Freedom Day and I thought it would be a
good thing for bartcop.com to
mention in some way.
For details
Nick, thanks for that.
Koresh knows if any nation needs a free press, it's America.
TV Stuff
Tonight's "loser" on Regis's Millionaire left with $500,000.
Last night's "winner" on Weakest Link left
with $40,000.
How can Link survive giving away chump change?
The ONLY way you can win a lot of money on "Link," is if all
nine
people answer correctly and have the discipline to avoid saying
"bank."
That's not going to happen - mark my words.
It's not going to happen - ever.
From: dmsuydam@herff-jones.com
Subject: Wanted: Sports editor
Dude, I'd love to volunteer to sports edit for
you, but you'd have to be willing to accept
an all-soccer, all-the-time format. I might
throw in a little Cubs update every now and then,
at least until they do the usual and start blowing
it.
If you could stomach the above-mentioned, I'm your (wo)man.
Nikki
Nikki, if it was up to me, .....wait a minute, ...it is up to
me.
So far, I can't find anybody interested in football, baseball, basketball,
boxing or hockey.
Do you think we could get people interested in soccer?
By The Way...
Remember this line, about Bernie's "Pigboy" call?
Rush then accused him of lying about the topic to his screener and cut him off.
Vic the Racist at work was frothing all day about low "low class"
it was to lie to
the screener to trick him into putting a caller on the air.
But the truth is, you have to lie, because Rush has stated a hundred
times,
"the purpose of the show is to make the host look good."
Fine, he admits that, but then he'll say, "Of
course, all Democrats go right to
the head of the line so we can be fair
to them," which is pure horseshit.
Using Rush's math, there are only a thousand liberals in America,
since his show doesn't even average one liberal per day.
To hear Pigboy tell the tale, there are no liberals left.
But, Rush.
If that's true, how did Gore win the popular vote?
And doesn't that mean Smirk won the unpopular vote?
Rush got on "Larry" for lying, but I ask the question:
If "Larry" had told the screener, "I want to ask the chicken
hawk why he didn't fight,"
there's no chance in hell he would've gotten on the air.
Have you ever noticed when hannity subs for Rush, the calls are
barely screened.
(At least much, much more loosely screened) so what happens?
The frustrated people who've been wanting to challenge Sgt Scurvy
finally get thru,
and they start blasting Hannity for Rush's Nazi lies, and Hannity
says,
"I'm not here to defend Rush, you have to take that up with him."
That sounds reasonable, but Rush won't take those kinds of calls.
Lastly, "Larry" got in that great shot:
When Rush said, "That draft story is so old, everybody's heard
it," Bernie countered with,
"But Rush, you claim all these millions of new listeners - they
haven't heard the story."
Of course, logic doesn't fly with a flaming ditto-monkey.
Conclusion: Bernie did right by lying his way past the
screener.
More people should do that.
Pigboy is as much of a fraud as Smirk.
From: LDRSSAGESPARKY@aol.com
Subject: Is there any doubt this guy's a moron??
British teenage singer Charlotte Church told a
London paper she found
President Pud "kind of stupid" when she sang
at his preinauguration celebration.
That's because when little Charlotte told Bush
she was from Wales,
she said he replied, "Uh, what state is that
in"?
Moron!
ha ha
I don't doubt that for a second.
He's cotton candy, folks.
Thanks to
somebody for the mention
on the
Wash Whore Post mediatalkback
page
New York, N.Y.: Howard, your comments about
no one being concerned with Bush's private life in repsonse
to a self-described Bush Hater a few questions
ago suggests that you don't pay much attention to the Internet,
where Bush hatred and lurid fascination with
his private life (especially his alcohol and drug abuse, his National
Guard days, and his family's business interests)
flourishes on such sites as bartcop.com, democrats.com,
onlinejournal.com and americanpolitics.com. Do
you pay attention to the Internet?
What do you think of it as a medium for news
and opinion?
Howard Kurtz: I pay lots of attention to
the Internet. I'm well aware of both the speculation and rumors about
these episodes in Bush's past. What I meant is
that no one is quetioning Bush's personal life now, or at least
since he gave up drinking in 1986. No one's wondering
what would happen if an attractive girl delivered pizza
to the Oval Office. So the criticism of Bush
tends to be about his intellect and his policies.
I think what Howard said was:
Since he's not paying for any abortions now,
Since he's not getting in full NG units now,
Since he's not guilty of a recent cocaine felony,
Since he hasn't deserted his post durting wartime lately,
the press will use that as their excuse to not look into his current
crimes.
Robert
Downey Jr.
by Isaac Peterson
From: duprass@home.com
Subject: Spy Plane - Ranters Missing the Point
BC:
I believe the "You're being too macho" folks who
keep writing in have
missed your point entirely: we have have
done nothing for which we should
apologize IF THE STORY OUR GOVERNMENT IS FEEDING
US IS TRUE.
If, Koresh forbid, we did cause this and they
are spinning it to their advantage
(with the facts lost ever so conveniently), then
we SHOULD apologize for
the loss of life and the mess we've created.
Their fault -- No Apology
Our fault -- Big Apology
We did No Apology, followed quickly by Big Apology;
this tells me
something is up, or we fold quickly when it gets
rough -- neither is good.
Mikey
Mikey, thanks.
I feel better knowing one person caught my drift.
Same thing happened with Napster.
I said "Napster can't be stopped,"
and "Lars was an idiot to threaten their fans,"
and what I mostly got back was "Don't you
know stealing is wrong?"
You can tell "Great Communicator" isn't my nickname.
Thanks
Looking back
Brandy Chastain, ...remember the name?
...who could argue that Brandy Chastain's shirt drop was, so far,
the biggest step forward in women's sports history?
Don't call me a pig, I'm saying that happened.
Men are pigs.
A good looking babe takes her top off, and that sport's a hit!
Brandy was on Dave Tuesday nite, she was cute, funny and smart.
Support women's athletics.
They say athletics promote confidence, teamwork and pride,
so let's let the women have a taste.
I forget...
Is it illegitimate president or bastard president?
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
Transfer interrupted!
