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Bartcop.com
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Most of the anti-Bart mail I get is hysterical.
This one is not.
From: BROMOON@aol.com
Subject: scandalous
This is the most scandalous site I have
ever seem......you should be ashamed!!!!!!!
We have enough problems in this country
without you added fuel to the fire.
Janet McClenny
California Democrats Finally Get Tough With Energy Thugs
SACRAMENTO--Angered by the refusal of electricity
wholesalers to surrender information
about suspected price gouging, a Senate
committee voted Thursday to hold two big energy
companies in contempt of the Legislature.
It was uncertain what punishment, if any,
may be in store for Enron
Corp. of Houston
and Mirant Corp. of Atlanta. But committee
members said potential sanctions could include
heavy fines and/or the jailing of corporate
executives.
Something's not right here...
Enron is one of our president's biggest backers, run by one of
his closest friends, a Republican.
They'd never be involved in price-gouging - would they?
John Lennon Airport
LONDON (Reuters) - John Lennon, one of Liverpool's
most famous sons,
will be honored by the city on Monday when
it renames its airport after him.
Liverpool airport chairman Robert Hough
said Yoko Ono would be in Liverpool
for the event, the first time Britain has
named an airport after an individual.
The airport will be renamed the Liverpool
John Lennon Airport.
It will also get a new slogan, "above us
only sky'' -- a lyric from 'Imagine.' ''
Pacemaker Plus
I'm a little nervous about Cheney's new pacemaker.
The GOP has been real cute - sending out the word that he's not
getting
an "ordinary" pacemaker, ...no, ...not our Vice Oil Man Dick.
He's getting a "Pacemaker Plus."
He's getting a pacemaker with a defilbulator built right
in
But doesn't that mean poor Mr Cheney is so sick, a regular
pacemaker won't do?
This should be a cause of great concern for all Americans.
The president's brain is very sick.
Even if they announce Cheney has made a "full recovery," which
is horseshit,
he's going to have this time bomb in his chest for the rest of
his life.
On C-Span, just before the bartcop.com thing,
they took calls from people
who had this pacemaker plus, and they said when that defibulator
works,
Cheney might feel a "small shock" or he might feel "a mule kick
to the chest."
Can you imagine Cheney doing a live press conference and getting "a mule kick to the chest?"
That's not funny.
If we lose Cheney, it'll just be Smirk, his Bible and Jim Beam.
That's not funny.
Quotes
"Dick Cheney is a valuable member of
my administration.''
-- President Weak and Stupid
I guess that's true.
It's like saying "Paul McCartney was
a valuable member of Wings."
So far, we haven't even registered a dent in the voting for the Webby Awards.
I guess the Webby Awards is just too big a pond for a nickle &
dime comedy treehouse
like bartcop.com to be swimming in.
Or maybe - my promise to pull off Sam Donaldson's hairpiece on
live TV
was the wrong tack to take - with Sam having such national honor
and respect.
I should've known better than to take on a cultural icon like
Sam the Sham.
The voting ends in four days, so maybe we'll make try to make a small dent next year.
But I'll tell you one thing - we won't quit!
As Koresh as my witness, they're not going to lick me. I'm going
to live through this
and when it's all over, I'll never be ignored again. No, nor
any of my folk.
If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill, as Koresh as my witness,
I'll never be ignored again.
Fresh Violence Undercuts Middle East Peacemaking
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - The fate of a Middle
East peace plan hung in the balance
on Sunday as fresh violence stymied efforts
to establish even a seven-day period of
calm supposed to precede the key steps
of an agreement.
There's never going to be peace in the Middle East.
As long as religious insanity controls those people, there will
always be war.
As long as those children are taught that God will reward them
if they murder
the "Zionist dogs and monkeys,"
peace will be impossible over there.
At some point Saddam or the Ayatollah will explode a nuclear bomb
near Israel, who will
retaliate ten-fold and we'll have that mess to deal with
- all because of religious insanity.
But the reason I mention this is the headline.
When President Clinton would broker a peace agreement, only to
see it shattered
by a bomb blast on a bus, the headlines would scream. "Clinton
Fails Again."
President Weak & Stupid couldn't find Israel if you gave him
a globe and 45 minutes.
But he gets the puffy-friendly headlines, after Clinton got screwed
by the press at every opportunity.
Don't get me wrong - I think the press should be free to lie and
whore as much as they want.
More than most, I depend on the Freedom of the press,
but I'm getting real tired of this "liberal media" horseshit.
The abortion, deserting during wartime, the cocaine bust(s) the
hidden fourth arrest,
the Florida Scam, openly bribing the Whore Court with cushy jobs
for their kids,
the pardons that buried Iran-Contra forever, October Surprise,
the Iraq Telex, etc etc.
The press has no interest in covering these stories and
nobody can say why.
But Koresh help us if Clinton is seen talking to a woman wearing
a beret.
Then, "Monica flashback" will be the headline all around the globe.
Happy Birthday to...
...
(picture not available)
Pamela Anderson (34)
Deborah Harry (56)
Liv Tyler (24)
Excerpt:
Cheney’s condition is not sustainable,
and all the implantation of this device does is
(maybe) buy him a little time. How
much time, no one can say, but he’s certainly not
in any position to function as the de facto
President of the United States for another 1329 days.
Julia Roberts is in the news again
USA Today's Jeannie Williams reports that the reason "Hollywood's
reigning glamour couple"
split up is because Benjamin Pratt wanted her to quit working
and move to San Francisco
and be the good little wife and clean his house, launder his
undies and prepare his meals.
Hey, Benny, I've got a thunderbolt for you:
Julia Roberts is the highest-paid woman in Hollywood.
She's a bigger star than everyone who's ever worked on
Law & Order combined.
She makes so much money, we used her salary to demonstrate the
folly of Smirky's tax cut for the super-rich
...and you think she should give that up to scramble your eggs?
C-Span
"People who are not fans of the president are
going to like your site."
-- George Hager, C-Span
Funny, the best part of my day was the introduction.
George Hager said, "We have two websites
from opposite ends of the political spectrum."
Then he introduced the wacko from pipebomb.com
ha ha
Koresh, that made me feel good. Can you believe pipebomb.com?
What, ...slithillarysthroat.com was taken?
I'll take being the opposite of a pipe-bomber any day,
which is the reason a fake "real" name was provided to C-Span.
Also, was it just me, or did George show a little spark in him?
He's supposed to be totally non-partisan, but he seemed to smile
more
on the bartcop,com segment than he did with
that pipe bomber.
Maybe the joke at bartcop.com isn't the owner.
Quotes
"I know Dick Cheney. If I told
him to slow down, he'd say 'Forget it.' "
-- President Weak & Stupid, after Cheney's latest
heart surgery.
Yeah, Smirk, I'll bet Cheney says that to you a lot.
You'd be crazy to believe everything you read on the Internet, but word is...
During the conversation with her old classmates at the reception
in German Town High School,
The Weekly Post learned that Japan's Foreign Minister
Makiko Tanaka made a remark about George Bush,
"He is totally an asshole"
in English.
...and the whole world knows it.
Click Here for the complete story
New Toonist
gregjungheim@ameritech.net
Good stuff, Greg
Subject: Right and Wrong
Saw your site mentioned on CSpan today and
will visit often. Liked your
piece on the myth of the liberal media.
You are right on and they are wrong.
I fought for "peace, freedom and democracy"
in a place called Vietnam. Hmmmm.
Was taught duty honor country all of which
were betrayed by our "leaders", and
ignored by my fellow country folk. Now,
I see my own country stolen from us citizens
by a power elite cabal. Not a happy time!
RMC
RMC, thanks for the note, and a salute to you for your service
to all of us.
I stand behind our men & women in uniform.
Hang in there, we'll be done with President Weak & Stupid soon...
GOP Gets
a White House Wake-up Call
by Jake Tapper of Salon.com
Excerpt:
George W. Bush came to Washington promising to
be the un-Clinton.
He wouldn't get in people's faces,
he wouldn't sully the Oval Office with tawdriness,
he wouldn't feel our pain.
He has succeeded.
Unfortunately for Bush, at least as of right now,
there were two positive things
Clinton had going for him that Bush does not:
Americans believed that Clinton
cared about them, and they thought he was up
to the job.
It's funny - the White House says "Bush feels like he doesn't need to tell us his opinion on every subject."
ha ha
When the truth is - he's not smart enough to have an opinion and he's
not smart enough to remember
what Uncle Dick thinks about everything - so his feeders and handlers
concoct a story that young Bush
doesn't "feel" he needs to have an opinion. What a joke.
...and the press, as always, dutifully runs the Rove-scripted stories
about how "engaged" Bush is,
and how "well disciplined" his staff was in Europe. Oh,
please!
Smirk couldn't find the Atlantic Ocean without his "well disciplined"
staff.
From: rachael@wnonline.net
Subject: the new guy who knows- it- all
funny page, in places ( usually a joke you got
from someone else ),
but reeks of bitterness acquired from years of
unabated, unadulterated hatred.
how's THAT ?!
did I just get a laugh ?
(just about as funny as YOUR stuff ! )
oh, well - - rant on, oh mindless, moralless (new
word ) motherfucker !
( nothing personal, just trying to follow the
excellently expletive example you've set for us ),
and remember: HATE KILLS !!! ( 88 ).
Peter Sliman
Peter, I have not called you any names, but you called me a MF-er.
That's not a good way to make new friends.
And you say HATE KILLS, ...is that right?
And yes, we have a crackerjack staff of professional writers at bartcop.com
How else could we come up with such topical and witty jocundity on
a regular basis?
One last thing - does Rachel know you're using her e-mail address to
send vituperous e-mail to web sites that are read by dozens of people?
I thought your note was both opprobrious and contumelious.
From: wirth623@rcn.com
Subject: You're CSPAN segment...
introduced me to your website. Just as I
suspected, you are an
infantile old man who is envious of the Republicans,
Rush Limbaugh
and are one who continues to spout lies about
the past presidential election.
GET OVER IT, CHUMP!
Your guy lost.
Check the recounts that were done by all the
liberal news agencies.
He lost worse in the recounts. I find your
continued editorials/cartoons
depicting the Republicans as racist and prejudiced
to be particularly offensive.
Why don't you focus your efforts on exposing the
real agendas of the
Al Sharptons and Jessie Jacksons of the world
if you are really concerned
about improving life for African Americans.
Jackass.
Jeff Wirth
Jeff, ...can I call you Jeff?
Thank you for the warm letter.
Do you know Peter Slimer?
I think you two could be good friends.
Tell me, does the Republican Black Congressional Caucus agree
that it would be a mistake to paint the GOP as racially-intolerant?
Some people say that if Uncle OJ Watts wasn't such a standout football
player from
football-then-God Oklahoma, your party would be as racially
diversive as the Aryan Resistance.
...but I could tell from your warm note you're not like that.
My political enemies supply me
with endless comedy contributions
From: hangar6@aeneas.net
Subject: bartcop.com
Your just another stupidchildish
web site.
Can't you make your point without taking the
low road?
Michael S. McCormick
Mike, what do you mean, "low road?"
You mean ...like, ...name-calling?
ha ha
Maybe I should try that high road that Rush, Laura, Hannity and Smirk
use.
It's nice to meet you, Mike, even if you're a bad first-impression
type of guy...
BTW, have you met Jeff Wirth and Pete Slimer?
I'll bet you three could become good friends...
From: jcrowley@sc.rr.com
Subject: socialist site?
THIS SITE IS SO FULL OF SHIT!!!!
WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT THAT YOU ARE SOCIALISTS?
YOU KNOW IF THIS COUNTRY HAD A VIABLE SOCIALIST
PARTY, GOD FORBID,
75% OF THE DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS WOULD ADMIT
THAT THEY ARE SOCIALISTS.
I'LL BET THAT EVEN AT LEAST 25% OF THE REPUBLICANS
WOULD ALSO ADMIT IT.
THEY RUN AS DEMOCRATS OR REPUBLICANS BECAUSE
THEY KNOW THAT THEY
COULD NOT BE ELECTED IF THEY RUN AS SOCIALISTS.
YOU BASTARDS ARE SLOWELY BUT SURELY TURNING THIS COUNTRY INTO A SOCIALIST STATE.
KEEP IT UP AND WE WILL HAVE ANOTHER CIVIL WAR.
JC, first, let me offer my condolences that you lost your leader in
Terre Haute.
It must be tough going thru something like that, yet you keep on.
Good for you!
As far as the political labels, I'm really more of a Stalinist/Leninist/Maoist
than a strict socialist.
You say a fourth of the GOP is socialist, too?
Maybe you and I could work together to unseat them...
BTW, have you met Mac, Jeff and Peter?
You guys should get together for some cookies and lemonade.
They say nobody makes a better lemonade than a Carolina widow.
Good to hear from you, and I hope you get your Caps Lock key fixed real
soon.
That's soooooo embarrassing, having that key stuck like that...
Thanks, and write again.
From: avedon@cix.compulink.co.uk
Subject: Heard you on C-Span!
Man, I love the Internet, 'cause I got to watch
the whole thing live.
(And I swear most of those callers were Republicans,
no matter what they said.)
It was great to be able to hear you.
Avedon
Feminists Against Censorship
http://www.fiawol.demon.co.uk/FAC/
I saw this ad for Beefeaters Gin on the back cover of Rolling Stone magazine:
I wonder, ...how much Beefeaters Gin does a guy have to drink
before he'd put on that outfit, wear that hat and hold that staff?
I'm a luxury tequila man myself, and I can swear there's not enough
tequila in Mexico to make me wear this get-up.
Condit Corner
"The number one movie is still 'The Fast
and the Furious.'
If you haven't seen it, it is
about Congressman Gary Condit
cleaning out his apartment before
the cops show up."
-- Jay Leno
No matter if you think he's guilty, innocent, or have no opinion,
don't you agree Condit has handled this about as badly as possible?
...and don't say it's because "people like you" are pounding on him.
The BartCop hammer is barely big enough to build a treehouse.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.
