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Fair & balanced...
POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE - TRAVEL - ENTERTAINMENT Before we name
more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan,
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PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155 |
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Want to buy an anti-Enron t-shirt?
Go to laydoff.com
Excerpt:
One moment you are thinking about your
next rotation or new permanent position at Enron Corp and
the next moment your company is telling
you to leave the building in thirty minutes and to not come back.
On top of this absurdity, your 401k is
depleted, your after-tax severance packages are reduced to one
month's mortgage payment, and those who
sent you packing are buying hill country or ski vacation
properties with their exorbitant retention
bonuses.
But, of course, the Bush Family Evil Empire got theirs, just before the collapse.
John Stossel, thy name is whore
A
Teflon Correspondent
Excerpt:
Steve Wilson, an investigative reporter
at WXYZ in Detroit, was surprised enough by Stossel's
rapid rise to stardom and his pro-corporate
transformation to ask about it. "I ran into him one day,
kidded him about his metamorphosis and
asked what had happened," Wilson recalls. "'I got a little older,'
John answered. 'Liked the idea of making
real money. So started looking at things a little differently.'"
Exactly - why tell the truth when you can lie and make more money, like Rush, Laura and Fox News?
A fun page by a longtime bartcop.com reader
"This is nothing more than the same kind of
terrorist propaganda we have heard before,"
Scott McClellan, the White House spokesman,
told reporters today in Crawford, Tex.,
where President Bush is on vacation.
You mean Weak & Stupid is on another vacation?
Again?
Doesn't he ever put in a full week's work?
Ever?
Has America ever had a president this lazy?
Or this stupid? Or this crooked?
Texas Teachers May Have Lost Millions With Enron
Excerpt:
Teachers aren't the only group that lost
out.
The retirement fund for state employees
lost around $24 million.
Oh, but the Bush Family Evil Empire got theirs.
They always get their cut - before the losses are figured.
CONSUMER
CONSUMPTION
“Love that cell phone reception” by Cliff Downing
Click Here
Excerpt:
Famous words from US Cellular. “Sir you’ll
be able to use your phone regardless of where you’re at
because our phones work with everyones
system” from Southwestern Bell. Yeah right.
A friend I know has a Sprint phone, it’s
constantly not working and sprint has EVERY type of excuse
for why their NATION WIDE SERVICE doesn’t
work sometimes. ALL guarantees are absolute lies.
Quotes
"You can get a 90 percent approval rating
if you are the American president
running a war against Osama bin
Laden, the ultimate villain."
-- John Brummett, Little Rock columnist
The
new TIME magazine said this about Giuliani
being
mobbed everywhere he goes in New York:
It's like this everywhere Giuliani goes
these days. The mayor draws one long, loud thank-you
from the people of his city. "Rudy,
way to go." and "You're about the greatest mayor ever."
Giuliani gives him a malancholy smile. It's
nice to be loved,
but at times, the cost is, as he predicted,
more than he can bear.
Emotional stuff, but then I remembered that the Unelected Fraud
has been bragging about
"hitting
the trifecta" on September 11th and I get pissed
off.
How could such a cold and greedy monster become president of
the United States?
Then I remembered: he was appointed by his father's crooked
friends.
Keep it
up, Funnyboy.
I'm the
Central Scrutinizer.
You just
aided the terrorists.
Your day
is coming...
From: MOT626@prodigy.net
Subject: Carter and the Shah ... the rest of the story
Bartcop:
Love the site. Just catching up from a week of
vacation in the mountains
and I ran across the item about President Carter,
the Shah and pigboy.
You have it all right, but failed to mention why
Carter agreed to let the Shah into the country.
He was lobbied by, who else, Henry Kissinger
and David Rockefeller!
That's right, Carter's downfall began when he
heeded the advice of these two Republican weenies.
Tom Bendycki
p.s. Keep up the good work and I hope we don't meet in a detention cell in the new year.
USA
Means "Under Saudi Arabia" Thanks to the Bush Family
by Mike Hersh
Excerpt:
The Bushes, James A. Baker III the fixer
who helped Bush steal the election, Dick Cheney, the Carlyle Group,
and the band of Texas oil barons who have
backed Bush's political career have put their financial interests above
our national interests long enough. Their
big money interests clearly rest with the Saudis, not Americans.
Like his father before him, Bush placates
his Saudi masters like some appointed colonial satrap or toady.
He goes to any length to avoid annoying
his bosses in Riyadh, whose demands and indignation escalate constantly.
This goes far beyond Bush lying under oath
and helping his cronies cover up ghoulish grave robbing. Bush can only
serve one nation: the US or Saudi Arabia.
He and his father and their rich, powerful friends have to make a choice:
us or them. They have sold our soul and
sovereignty for oil, and it is killing us! This has to
stop.
The Trail Leads Back to Bush I and Iraq
Excerpt:
As the Boston Globe reported in November,
1993, “Several congressional committees had found evidence
that senior members of the Bush administration
knowingly approved US-guaranteed loans for Iraq and technology
transfers that were diverted into Saddam
Hussein’s nuclear weapons program, his chemical weapons and ballistic
missiles. They also discovered evidence
suggesting obstruction of Congress, false statements and perjury.”
And how did G.H.W.Bush respond to the House
Judiciary Committee’s 1992 call for a “special prosecutor
to investigate evidence that members of
the executive branch broke the law while assisting Saddam Hussein’s
military buildup”? By instructing his attorney
general, William Barr, to reject the request based on “larger claims
of foreign policy” and executive privilege.
When the Bush Family Evil Empire puts their money-making
intrests above those of America,
I guess it's our job to be quiet and salute the son of a bitch,
right?
Thanks to M/J Dennis
Have
you been to liberalslant.com?
There's lots of good stuff over there.
Quotes
"We appeared on The Jay Leno Show tonight
and had the dubious honour of having to stand on the
same stage as Bob Dole who has
creeped me out ever since I saw that Britney Spears Pepsi
commercial where he's looking
all glassy eyed next to a big drooling dog and Mr Bob pants
'Down Boy" and we (the audience)
are supposed to be amused.
Since when has the concept of
a dirty old man oggling an underage teenager been funny?"
-- Shirley Manson, in her web diary
From: patch@bytehead.com
Subject: TV Guide ad and Rush
Hi Bart.
Just got my next week's TV Guide in the mail.
It's their tribute issue, and it has George Harrison
on the cover. (EXCELLENT choice.)
But inside, in the listings for next Friday, is
an ad for the Sci-Fi channel's series, "The Chronicle."
(It's a show about a tabloid that finds REAL
monsters.)
But the ad shows a secretary on the phone, and says in the text:
"She's got the editor on line 1,
the ace reporter on line 2,
and pig boy on line 3."
I nearly died laughing.
ha ha
Pigboy on Line Three?
ha ha
So, you
think that's funny?
Rush is
a friend of mine,
and a friend
to America.
Your time's
coming, Funnyboy
There's
no fancy tequila in a
military
tribunal, Funnyboy.
Keeping an eye on the wild conspiracy theories...
Eerie Flashback
I checked the bartcop.com Post Office box today.
I only check in now & then, since we're between fund-raising
sweeps weeks,
but today when I checked there were two large boxes waiting for
me.
The first one was postmarked Lake Oswego.
I opened it, slowly, like they said in the Post Office Safety
Film...
Inside was a nice note, that had phrases such as, "Thank
you," and "please don't stop,"
and then closed with "We care what's
happening to our Country and our Constitution."
Thanks for that, Gary.
But why the big box?
I opened it slowly, checking for a white powdery substance, ...and
Koresh,
It was a bottle of Chinaco Anejo!
ha ha
Party at BartCop Manor!
I wish I had checked the box before Christmas,
but there's another holiday coming up that goes good with Chinaco!
So then I moved to the second big box.
It was from California, from (can't read the writing) Geoff Dewar,
maybe...
As Koresh as my witness, it was another bottle of Chinaco!
I know you think I'm making this up, but it's true.
So big-time thanks to Gary and Geoff (it could be Greg..?)
for the Miracle of Canaan.
I think I'll open them at the same time - to compare them.
If one's from Oregon and one from California, they'll be different
batches.
Also, if YOU'D like to send a bottle of Chinaco Anejo
for me to test,
the address is PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155.
This New Years, they'll be a dark cloud, looking back at what
a shitty year it was,
and the Chinaco will bring a little light ot the
occasion - thanks, guys.
Horseshit
Central
by Rush toady Walter Williams
Excerpt:
Eighty-nine percent of Washington journalists
voted for Clinton in 1992, compared to
just 43
percent of non-journalists; 23 percent
of the public describe themselves as liberal, compared to 55
percent of journalists; 49 percent of the
public is pro-choice, whereas 82 percent of journalists are;
75 percent of the public favors the death
penalty, compared to 47 percent of journalists.
The differences go on and on.
This slug substitutes for El Pigbo when he's having hampsterectomies.
He wrote this column which included the excerpted quote.
Why do people accept that horseshit
as true?
He repeats that line in bold like it means something.
Has anyone ever heard a source for that crazy quote?
Where is the documentation for that?
If all one needs to do is make a claim, I can do that, too.
Did you know that more than half of the House Republicans have
been arrested for having sex with animals?
It's true - I saw it on the Internet. Do me a favor and spread
that rumor to every outlet you can find.
If they can invent crap, so can we.
Walter Williams is a whore.
He will spew any crap that his Master tells him to spew.
As I pointed out in that recent Liberal
Bias? column, the right-wing kooks are
lining up to praise Bernard Goldberg for "telling the truth,"
when he's lying his ass off.
Quotes
"By selecting Mr. Ashcroft to take over that
office, George W. Bush has re-opened
a debate that ought to have been settled
in 1865. There are ample valid reasons to
oppose Mr. Ashcroft, including ...
his consistently poor record on civil liberties."
- Joe Conason, who seems to be calling
Ashcroft the Klan bastard he is.
"Klan bastard,"
am I?
You know
I can legally just disappear
your ass
of the street, right Funnyboy?
Keep on
- see what happens to you
You think
that little Glock will help you
when the
feds kick at your front door?"
That same TIME Magazine, with Rudy on the cover?
They do an article on James Jeffords of Vermont, calling him "Senator Turncoat."
The bastards didn't even put "turncoat" in quotes.
They just stated, matter-of-factly in the headline, that Jeffords
was a traitor.
Hey, fuck you, TIME magazine.
Just because you guys whored out for an extra nickle on your "Person
of the Year,"
doesn't mean that Jeffords did the same.
Maybe, just maybe, Jeffords was a man of conscience, did you
ever consider that?
Happy Birthday to...
........
Marlene Dietrich born 1901
Maryam d`Abo is 41
...and admitted rapist Gerard Depardieu is 53
Justice vs the Constitution
Justice Department spokesman Bryan Sierra
said the department
"doesn't feel it is necessary to quibble about
the characterization of what is terrorism.''
Hmmm...
Seems to me if we're going to throw away the Bill of Rights (but
worship the Second Amendment)
we ought to at least have a concrete definition for why we're
doing that.
I'm the
Central Scrutinizer,
and I don't
like your tone, Funnyboy.
Your time
is almost here.
You won't
be so funny with a Giuliani plunger
where the
sun don't shine, Funnyboy.
Lordy,
today's
has
a whole lotta stuff.
Hillary gets a marriage proposal, there's a cat-fight between
two guys at Fox Whore News,
a report on Jay Leno entertaining the troops in Operation
Enduring Handjob, Buffy cut her hair (Oh, no!)
...and word is that love scene between Billy Bob Thornton and
Halle Berry is white hot, and more!
Check out Marty's fine work.
Quotes
"I could have put a dead raccoon on the
air this year and got a better rating than last year."
-- Fox
News's Roger Ailes, on losing Paula Zahn to CCN
But Roger, Paula Zahn IS a dead raccoon.
From: fifththecolumnist@yahoo.com
Subject: The GOP said it best: Perjury is Perjury
I see a lot of people still hung up on Clinton's
sex trial. One of my favorite lines comes directly from the GOP
candidates and followers; "perjury is perjury."
Refering, of course, to Clinton lying about having sex with Monica.
There is an often overlooked fact in Saint Bush,
though: he commited perjury not once (like Clinton
supposedly did), but twice - and it actually
deals with his governership, not his sex life!
The URL is http://www.realchange.org/bushjr.htm
Phil, good stuff - thanks.
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Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.