POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
TEQUILA-VEGAS
|
||||
|
||||
|
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK 74155 |
|
Bart Cook BartCop Sports BC Entertainment Buzzflash Demo U-Ground Contact us Eric Alterman Gene Lyons |
Quotes
"I love when Republicans pretend that they're
for prescription drug entitlement,
they're for Medicare, they're for Social
Security. This year's election is the
greatest right-wing cross dressing
since J. Edgar Hoover hung up his brassiere."
--Paul Begala, Crossfire, 09/03/02
Humiliation for Powell at Earth summit
Excerpt:
The US Secretary of Failed Excuses, Colin
Powell was booed, heckled and jeered
as he tried to defend America's environmental
record on the closing day of the world
summit in Johannesburg today. Delegates
from non-governmental groups in the
audience repeatedly interrupted his speech,
chanting: "Shame on Bush".
Poor Colin Powell.
He's at the whim of the stupidest man he's ever met - and hung
out to dry,
his opinions dismissed and ridiculed by a moron who's not even
a semi-colon.
We know why Powell was hired - to make it appear that Bush could
tolerate darkies.
If Powell was half-a-man, he wouln't stand for this abuse. If
these oil pirates are going to
blindside him, again and again - why does he stay? What
price prestige?
Isn't he harming the image of the successful black man by being
a stooge for Bush?
Young black kids across America, and indeed the world, will learn
from Powell that
if a black man wants to make it, he must find the son of the
owner, kiss his ass,
and be humiliated by him again and again if he wants to get ahead.
How sad.
Also, tonight is the West Wing rerun where Leo has to tell
Jed that he needs to stop
being such a weenie liberal dove and stand up and do what needs
to be done.
A scumbag needs dying, and Jed the Dove would rather wring his
hands and worry.
I suppose the ditto-monkeys will say this is a parallel to Iraq,
but the difference is,
on tonight's West Wing they have actual proof that the
guy needs dying.
It's not just a case of an unelected president trying to steal
somebody else's oil.
Wild Off, where Brooke Burke (from Vegas!) hands her crown to a lesser on E!
Funny, it turned out to be a pretty good show - Mega-Vegas-fever-wise.
I forget, I guess they had all twelve girls each go to different
attractions.
It could've been stupider and I still would've enjoy it.
How rare is that?
One gal took a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.
That's cool even if you've seen it a dozen times.
One girl went to see Blue Man Group, which looked good
in this segment.
Apparently they really mess with your visual orientation, a real
Humboltd moment.
One went to Lake Mead, to water ski and jet ski. Is that
a great-looking lake, or what?
One went for an ATV ride at dusk in the Valley of Fire State
Park, a windowpane moment..
One went to clown around with the Circus Circus circus.
They sent the Playmate
of the Decade to wear the Empire State Building like that
one I Love Lucy episode.
Another went to Excalibur and did something, jousting
maybe...
One went to see Penn & Teller, and they did some knife-throwing
tricks with her,
another got sawed in half by Lance Burton, inching my
Vegas Fever up a notch..
The winner, Cindy Taylor, got to drive a Shelby at high
speeds.
I had previously handicapped Cindy as a half-Brooke, while Brittany
was an eighth-Brooke.
The others weren't even 1/16th-Brookes, so Cindy stole the show
and won the gig.
The had some great views of the city from The Palm's Ghost
Bar.
Boy, what I wouldn't give to hold the big Fest in a place like
The
Ghost Bar,
but they probably want hundreds of dollars to rent that
place.
Ok, I'm done.
You just can't expect something that good about Vegas to be on
without a mention.
Quotes
"...if Iraq is attacked and countries such
as Saudi Arabia are destablised ...the price of oil
could soar to as high as £40 a
barrel, double its current level. It would choke the recovery
of the US economy after September 11
and trigger a domino effect around the globe.
--Oonagh Blackman, mirror.co.uk
Sure, but Bush's oil buddies would get filthier
richer - isn't that the point?
Isn't that the real reason we're about
to sacrifice a few hundred brave men?
So the B.F.E.E. can get richer than their wildest dreams?
"Bart,
he's our president!
Be nice a nice dove, like us!"
Headline
71%
of Brits against a war on Iraq without UN approval
Quotes
"Saddam Hussein poses a grave threat
to the world and must be stopped!"
-- Tony Blair said Tuesday, bucking the tide of
public sentiment and trying
to rally international support
for U.S.-led action against Iraq
What the "F" is wrong with Tony Blair?
Is he tired of being in politics?
Has he squirreled away some money, and now he's ready to retire?
Why in the wide, wide world of sports would he commit political
suicide for the Bush boy?
Is he being blackmailed?
Consumer
Consumption
Have Faith O Ye Liberals
Y'know those nutty "I am the former foreign
minister of Uganda," letters?
"Send me $6000, and I'll give you $40
million when my bank cheque clears."
They think we'll fall for it if they spell "check" funny.
I'm getting 6-8 of those a day now, but they've come up with a whole new angle:
I am Sheikh Shehu Musa Mustapha, a business
tycoon from Iraq, presently in prison
in iraq for the past four years, for
my alledged assistance to the american government
against my motherland iraq (treason),
which i happen to know nothing about.
My detractors have finally put me to
shame,but i leave them to their own fate.
ha ha
I'm sure your money's safe with an Iraqi prisoner named Musa
Mustapha!
I mean, can I have a week to liquidate all my assests
to send to you?
ha ha
The saddest part is, think of the millions they'll make just from
ditto-monkeys.
Please
Lord, let Bart do a Bonus Issue on Friday!
Where's
Osama?
by my good friend Ted Rall
Excerpt:
Some experts doubt that the U.S. was ever
serious about capturing Osama. If he went on trial for 9-11,
after all, his testimony about his years
with the CIA could prove devastatingly embarrassing. This explains,
they say, why Bush refused Taliban offers
to turn over bin Laden, why Donald Rumsfeld bombed rather
than invaded by ground, why Colin Powell
never asked Pakistan to seal the border, why General Tommy
Franks relied on unreliable local troops.
And the Tora Bora escape tale doesn't jibe with Afghan topography
or local eyewitnesses, who say that Osama
left for Pakistani Kashmir --a far more typical exit for fleeing
Afghans than the tribal areas of the Northwest
Frontier Province--days after 9-11.
Hypocrisy
now!
Pot calls kettle 'evildoer'
by Molly Ivins
Excerpt:
Excuse me: I don't want to be tacky or
anything, but hasn't it occurred to anyone that
sending Dick Cheney out to champion an
invasion of Iraq on the grounds that Saddam Hussein
is a "murderous dictator" is somewhere
between bad taste and flaming hypocrisy?
When Dick Cheney was CEO at Halliburton,
he did $23.8
million in business with
Saddam Hussein, the evildoer "prepared
to share his weapons of mass destruction with terrorists."
So if Saddam is "the world's worst leader,"
how come Cheney sold him the
equipment to get his dilapidated
oil fields up and running
so he to could afford
to build weapons of mass destruction?
Yep, this administration couldn't survive a free press.
If this was a question about Clinton's zipper, the whore press
would ask 10,000 questions.
Remember Tim the Whore badgering White House staffers for details
about Clinton's cock?
He couldn't stop talking about it - "because
we have a right to know the truth."
a
whore named Tim
But since it's just another example of the GOP arming terrorists, the press lets it slide.
...just like Mr. Rove ordered.
Support
bartcop.com
Help us get the truth out!
Click to become a Corona volunteer for $10
a month
We've got to build a bigger hammer.
The illegal President Monkey in a Man Suit needs to be stopped.
Click Here to donate large.
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Are you ready to help save the state of Florida?
Please call 1-305-760-2002 or go to our
web site and get involved.
We can't take four more years of Jeb.
Subject: Nuns at Catholic grade schools
Hi, Bartcop.
I spent eight years in a catholic grade
school where almost all the teachers were nuns, as was the principal.
In those eight years, I saw (and heard
of) my share of abuse. Of course, this was in the 60's, so corporal
punishment was still in vogue.
But I'm writing to point out that, while
this was reprehensible, it was far from common. Of the couple
dozen nuns I knew, only two or three should
have been relegated to an institution instead of teaching.
In fact, I think at least one of them was!
On the plus side, I remember the summer
when I was 14 (just graduated from grade school) and had to
have emergency surgery for an injury. When
I woke up after surgery, there were two nuns in my room
from my grade school (my mother had left
the room for a few minutes.) They were just sitting there reading.
In my post-anasthetic stupor, I asked what
they were doing there. Their reply was that they had walked
down from the convent (a good three miles)
to be sure someone would be with me when I woke up.
I guess what I'm saying is that, in my experience,
almost all the nuns we kids knew were very smart and
compassionate people who took a great deal
of interest in the development and well-being of their young charges.
These women remained friends of our family
for many years until the school was closed and they went back east.
Love your site!
Sally
Sally, when I was 16, I knew some good ones, too.
When I had my broken femurs, nuns and priests were always coming
by, the nuns gave me "foot rubs"
and the priest played chess with me, everyday (kicked my ass
- every time). I even had a "private priest,"
who'd say Mass in my hospital room. It was so funny, because
I was the same way then as I am now.
The priest would start in with some Catholic voodoo and I'd stop
him and ask if he was really serious.
Anytime he'd start with that "sheep and the flock" business,
I'd groan and roll my eyes.
He'd explain to me his point of view, and we'd debate, right
there during my private mass.
I was always respectful of him, but I never pulled any punches.
He never gave up on me,
so yes, if I've given the impression that they're all guilty,
that was not my intention.
That was a nice memory - I haven't thought of either of them in a decade or two - thanks.
Quotes
"Labor Day is not just a picnic festival.
Workers are under assault...
We lost 2 million jobs in two years,
and Bush is playing terror like a one-string
guitar."
--
Jesse Jackson
Subject: If our jets can
do this, why didn't they?
by Deadhead
Why didn't they? They did, allegedly.
...the theory isn't that the AWACs failed to act,
but that they directed the flights of
those planes, likely without suicide pilots at all.
Boy, think of what we could learn if America had a free press...
Equipment failure or ... ?
Nevada
Gaming board looking into UNLV power snafu
Excerpt:
The Nevada Gaming Control Board plans to
investigate the power outage that brought a
premature end -- and triggered a wave of
conspiracy theories -- to Wisconsin's 27-7 win
over UNLV Aug. 31 in Las Vegas, says a
board official.
Click to go to www.blockbush.com
Free stickers for all subscribers
or with any donation to bartcop.com
Send in your sticker pictures.
Quotes
"When Bush took office, surrounded by a well-seasoned,
experienced Cabinet, many were
willing to believe that even if Dubya
himself was something of a dim bulb, the light and
competence emanating from those around
him would lift him up and make the government
look good. But after 9/11, and more
recently, it seems more and more evident that these guys,
with their limited short-term blinders
on, don't really know what the hell they're doing, other
than blustering their way through with
threats and aggressive behavior."
--Bernard Weiner,
truthout.org
Cunning
Plan, Or Just Insanity?
by smoking Joe Conason
Excerpt:
"...Colin Powell and Dick Cheney, seem
to be involved in a potentially costly game of "chicken. "
between themselves rather than with the
dictator of Baghdad. Mr. Cheney’s allies in the media
have relentlessly assaulted Mr. Powell
as an "appeaser," while Mr. Powell has stood up against
their pressure (even as damaging news of
his possible early resignation leaked in Time magazine.)
Quips
& Comments
by Barry Crimmins
Excerpt:
The other night, as I listened to Dennis
Miller compare sparing Iraq of unilateral assault
with Neville Chamberlin's acquiescence
to Hitler, I was relieved to realize that the last
of his intelligent writers must have finally
escaped.
So we are to believe Saddam is in the same
position today that Hitler was in 1939?
Yeah, and if Dennis Miller isn't stopped
he'll become the next Will Rogers.
I suppose Miller's Iraq comments were inevitable
-- two years on MNF gave him plenty
of practice making public pronouncements
about things of which he knew nothing.
Now that he's done with NBC and Tribune
Broadcasting and ABC and HBO,
Miller is apparently auditioning for a
spot on FOX News.
Barry, was kidding, right?
Maybe not.
Last night on Leno, former comedian Miller went into his "we
must murder everyone" rant,
then closed with, "But what do I know?
I'm not even an Irish rock singer."
Then he whined about losing two high-profile jobs this year.
Dennis, if you continue to allign yourself with President Weak
& Stupid,
your only real chance at employment might be Fox News.
Good stuff, Barry!
Quotes
"Vietnam taught us that we cannot win and should
not undertake
a military adventure unless an overwhelming
majority of ordinary
citizens are convinced that America's
vital interests are in peril."
--
Miles B. Anderson, Sag Harbor, N.Y.
by The Pieman
Want to see something really funny?
White
House in disarray over Cheney speech
by Julian Borger in Washington
Excerpt:
George Bush has moved to distance himself from Whistle Dick Cheney
after he learned a sabre-rattling speech
on Iraq by Cheney was made
without clearing key points with the White
House.
ha ha
Cheney IS the White House
Cheney is more the White House than Runnynose Bunnypants.
With whom is Cheney supposed to clear his remarks?
The ignorant chimp?
The boy without a brain?
The wimp who lost a battle with a pretzel?
What's the real purpose of this headline?
To make us think Dim Son actually has some power?
Who's got the balls to scold Cheney?
Karl Rove?
The chimp wouldn't be in office without his brain, Cheney,
so how's the governor going to show displeasure with his brain?
If Weak & Stupiod really had some power in this White House,
he would speak without reading someone else's prepared text.
Quotes
"Mr. Bush was right to declare war on terrorism,
but it is far from finished.
His promise to capture Osama bin Laden
is unfulfilled.
He should finish one 'regime change'
before attempting another one."
-- L.R. Jeffrey, Far Hills, N.J.
What's
happened to you, Bart?
Bart turns dove - who woulda thunk it?
Quotes
"We all want to get rid of Saddam Hussein,
but war would not be the fastest route.
Why is the American public kept in
the dark by the White House about this issue?"
-- Robert S. Salzman,
Millington, N.J.
Click Here to see the BartFest Webcam. It's better at night!
Saw it on Dave's Vegas Page, which is full of new stuff!
The Las Vegas Primer,
The Las Vegas anti-Limbaugh,
and Twinkle, Twinkle LV Stars.
Click Here for the latest news.
Shopping
online?
Use the portal below
and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
shrl
Heard at BartFest