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Quotes
"I'm not saying that George W. Bush shouldn't
be allowed to kill as many people as he wants.
After all he is the unelected leader
of the most powerful country on earth, so if he can't do anything he likes,
who can?
And, in the years to come, we can confidently
look forward to a lot more killing all over the world - certainly a lot
more
than ever Saddam Hussein managed in
his own country."
--Terry Jones, Bush goes
for the kill, observer.co.uk
Excerpt:
Foreign Minster Igor Ivanov warned Monday
the Kremlin would vote against the U.S. and British
resolution that gives Saddam Hussein a
March 17 deadline to disarm, news agencies reported.
This marks the first time that Russia has
explicitly said it would vote against the resolution before
the U.N. Security Council, but Ivanov did
not use the word veto.
Within the council, if a majority of the
15 members vote "no," Russia's "no" would not be a veto.
If a majority vote "yes," Russia or another
of the five permanent council members has the power
to veto the decision thereby blocking any
chance of its passage.
In other news, Texas is preparing to execute it's 300th victim
since 1982. I'll bet Smirk wishes he'd
stayed in the killing fields of Austin where he could happyily
murder black men and not gotten involved
in Daddy's and Unka Dick's plans to take over the world.
Quotes
"Americans, and indeed our foreign allies who
actively work against our military
once the war is underway, will be considered
enemies of the state by me."
-- Bill O'Reilly, Secretary of Pompous Ass
The
Xanax Cowboy
by Maureen Dowd - She hates everybody, this time
it's President Stupid
Excerpt:
"We are scared of the world now, and the world
is scared of us. Bush officials...want a spectacular show of American
invincibility to make the wicked and the
wayward think twice before crossing us. Of course, our plan to sack Saddam
has not cowed the North Koreans and Iranians,
who are scrambling to get nukes to cow us. It still confuses many
Americans that, in a world full of vicious
slimeballs, we're about to bomb one that didn't attack us on 9/11 (like
Osama);
that isn't intercepting our planes (like
North Korea); that isn't financing Al Qaeda (like Saudi Arabia); that isn't
home to
Osama and his lieutenants (like Pakistan);
that isn't a host body for terrorists (like Iran, Lebanon and Syria)."
Quotes
"Thursday, Bush made a speech in prime-time
when most people are watching "Friends.”
Most people didn’t notice because Bush
reminds them of Joey."
--Conan
Comedian
George Miller dies of leukemia
Had more appearances on Dave than any other comic
Excerpt:
"George was my oldest friend, and one of the
funniest people I ever knew," Letterman said in a statement.
"We are all very sad that he is gone."
Miller and Letterman met in Los Angeles
in the early 1970s when both were emerging comics
He came to Los Angeles in the late 1960s
and performed in clubs in Santa Monica and Pasadena before
getting gigs at the Comedy Store in Hollywood.
After a 1979 labor dispute, he moved on to the Improv on
Melrose Avenue and the Laugh Factory on
Sunset Boulevard, where he continued to perform regularly.
I always kinda liked George Miller.
He was never that funny, he was never an "A-list" comedian, but
he always put Dave in a great mood,
and that always meant a great show. Miller would do a joke
- it would bomb, and the studio audience
would remain as silent as a Senate Democrat during Eichmann's
confirmation to the Supreme Court.
Then Dave would say something mean to him, proving that that
were really close friends.
Poor Dave has had a rough last-couple of years. His stalker killed
herself (You stalkers, that's how it's done),
he had his "massive heart attack," he lost the Foul-Mouthed Library
Lady, then he helped us thru September 11.
Next he found out Warren Zevon, who acted as Paul's stand-in
when he couldn't make it, was dying
(one of his best hours) and now he loses his old buddy George
Miller to leukemia at age 61.
...and just to prepare for the inevitable, I think Dave's mom
is 84.
She may yet still outlive all of us, but odds are Dave has another
really tough public moment to get thru.
I remember when Leno lost his parents 30 days apart. He was OK
during the show, but then closed
with a really emotional comedy bit about how much he was going
to miss them.
Hang in there, Dave.
The alternative to losing your friends and loved ones is even
worse.
Subject: Bart cop the Movie...
Dear Bart,
My name is zagnut.
I Have posted my thoughts for "Bartcop
the Movie" in the Backroom of the BC Forum. I made a commitment
to myself the day the partisan Supreme
Court appointed the dolt that now occupies the White House, that I would
try to do something everyday to aid in
the goal of seeing this jerk thrown out of office in the next presidential
election
or sooner if possible. Your continued efforts
and keen sense of humor and those who I have come to know on the
BC Forum have become my greatest source
for information towards that commitment of reclaiming our country back
from the regime this is now in charge.
Before I proceed further and go looking
for funds to support the film and write a proposal, I want to know
if you would
support the making of this film and would
be willing to be interviewed. Several people from the Forum have already
offered
advice and expressed their willingness
to appear if asked. I think the success of "Bowling for Columbine"
shows there is a
great silent majority in America that is
wanting to hear from other Americans and how they feel about what needs
to change
for the sake and survival of our great
country. There is no greater collection of talented writers, activists
and dedicated
citizens than those who have become the
community of the BC Forum in my opinion. I believe no other group would
be
able to express their views on the issues
of the day any better as well. I'm so angry seeing so many people being
labeled
a traitor or un-American these days that
I want to show what true patriots look like and what they are doing out
on
concern for a brighter future for our home
and the world at large. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the
project
and thanks for all the tireless effort
you put in to keep Bartcop alive and kicking.
Cheers,
zagnut
Zag, maybe we could get my good friend Ben Affleck to star in the BartCop movie, instead?
Just kidding. I don't know what to say other than the first thing
that popped into my head is how bad
it would be to have a measure of fame and still be broke, kinda
like Julie and Susan.
When Oliver North started getting famous, he stole money from
the government to install a security system
and an electronic gate on his estate to warn him about possible
pending attacks. We get the occasional
death threat here at bartcop.com so I'd hate to get
any "bigger" until I can afford some security.
Let me think some more about it, but I have a basic rule:
I never say "No," until I hear the details of the deal :)
How guilty is Robert Blake?
Maybe I just missed it, but I haven't seen any e-mail that says,
"Yes Bart, I'd love to be point man
for the Blake circus."
Maybe it would work best to contact Christian...
Maybe I'm the only one who cares, but I just can't keep up.
Christian
if you're the person we're looking for.
Quotes
"Bush is continuing to get advice on finding
a staging area for our troops.
Today he called the Turkey Hotline."
-- Leno
I placed my order from South's Finest Chocolate last week.
Three days later the UPS man rang the doorbell at BartCop Manor.
Mmmmmm, ...it's like Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally.
Don't wait until July to think, "I should order some of that killer chocolate."
Dial 865-522-2049 to order your chocogasm while it's still cool..
Subject: ditto heads & liberal media
Read your article. Was looking for
and Exhibit B.
However, there is not an Exhibit B.
You're right.
It's hard to find a liberal on the networks...
Thanks.
Ben
Ben, it's gottem worse since I wrote that.
NBC was honest enough to put in print that people like Donahue
(read: anti-Smirk)
are not the image the network wants to put forward at this time.
That means ONLY ditto-monkey Bush worshippers need apply.
So that's where Rush and FOX News have been getting their talking points...
Subject: Bush Fails Oral Exams
Bart,
Every time I see G.W. having to "Think"
on his feet, stammering, unable to maintain a train of thought
without derailments while answering softball
questions (questions that would have been knocked out of the park
by anyone with an IQ of 64 or greater),
I keep getting the distinct feeling that I've seen this behavior before.
It's exactly the way some of my middle school
and high school students talk when they're
bullshiting through an oral report (and
my follow up questions). The only difference is that
I give kids a good grilling when it happens
so they learn to come prepared the next time.
Bush has the luxury of sidelining good
teachers like Helen Thomas who call his bluff.
John
John, good observation.
When Bush is asked a question, he always gives the same, general,
generic answer:
"Saddam is evil, he has not disarmed, we will disarm him."
He gives that answer no matter what the question is because he's
a goddamn monkey
and he has no brain, so they limit him to the four sentences
he can memorize with Condi's help.
How sad it is to go from an elected genius to a cowardly, theif and simplistic moron.
Fascist Groove Thang as seen on Takebackthemedia.com
They do great work over there.
Bush has not made a strong and convincing
case that Saddam is deeply involved in Al Qaeda or to 9/11.
Their evidence is weak at best. It certainly
does not carry the evidentiary weight necessary to convince the
world that an attack of the magnitude of
"Shock and Awe" against the people of Iraq is warranted.
Jim in Rochester, MI
Jim, well put.
I don't have the exact numbers (I need a staff) but a poll was
taken and I think 67 percent said Iraqi
nationals hijacked those planes on September 11th because Bush
keeps repeating "Saddam the terrorist."
It's all a shell game.
"Don't look at the economy or your missing
life savings or bin Laden's empty jail cell.
Keep your eye on the deadly Iraqi threat,
and George the Great will save us with his toughness."
So far, America is falling for it.
Too bad the press won't print the damn truth.
A think tank war: Why old Europe says no
Excerpt:
Across the world critics of President Bush
are convinced that a second Gulf War is actually about replacing Saddam,
whether the dictator is involved with WMD
or not. "It's not about his WMD," writes the German born Israeli peace
campaigner, Uri Avnery, "its purely a war
about world domination, in business, politics, defence and culture".
There are real models for this. They were
already under development by far right Think Tanks in the 1990s,
organisations in which cold-war warriors
from the inner circle of the secret services, from evangelical churches,
from weapons corporations and oil companies
forged shocking plans for a new world order.
In the plans of these hawks a doctrine of
"might is right" would operate, and the mightiest of course would be
the last superpower, America.
How
to tell if your movie sucks
Foolproof handicapping by BartCop
Quotes
"Welcome to FOX News, your voice for evil."
-- The Simpsons on Fox
Thanks to Matt
Subject: Tell me something, Bart...
...does it suck royally to be right all the time?
No, it's actually kind of a curse.
See the linked article below:
IQ of 64 my arse...
-Kronos
Firm
linked to Cheney wins oil-field contract
Hussein may destroy facilities in event of war
Subject: Terrorism
Bart,
So the government claims they can convince
the Iraqi leader to leave by using "shock and awe."
In the best case, Bush is surrounding Iraq
in an attempt to get Saddam Hussein to abdicate.
Would I be correct in saying this is an
application of force, or the threat of force, intended to
intimidate a government in the pursuit
of a political goal? I ask because of this definition of
"terrorism," downloaded from the Department
of Defense website:
Terrorism:
The calculated use of violence or the threat of violence to inculcate fear;
intended to coerce
or to intimidate governments or societies in the pursuit of goals
that are generally
political, religious or ideological.
So the DOD says Bush is an international
terrorist?
Then why can't we wear that on our T-shirts?
Russ
This Russ
fella?
I don't
like the tone on this Al-Qaeda operative.
I need
a secret torture choppper over at bartcop.com.
Pick
up one "Russ" for a secret torture session.
Work
him hard, too. I'm tired of being Mr. Nice Guy.
Marty's
E! page
Baron Dave Romm on the Great Luke Ski
Blue collar East LA protested with 'Guerra
no! Paz si!'
Jill Hennessy is expecting
Mel Gibson built a church
Anthony Kiedis (Peppers) writing a book -
'Scar Tissue'
NAACP Image Awards
WGA Awards
Top 10 movies in North America
Sonny Barger has women problems
And, the world's first penis transplant
click
Quotes
"I will not uphold a breach of international
law or this undermining of the U.N. and I will resign from this government."
--Clare
Short, International Development Sec to the BBC, nytimes.com
Oil
war: 23 years in the making
Analysts see attack this week or next
Excerpt:
"The only precedent to what is shaping up now
is the Roman Empire,'' says Michael Klare, professor of peace and
world security studies at Hampshire College.
"There is only one power. I don't think Britain, France or Spain even
came close in other centuries to the United
States today.
"If the United States controls Persian Gulf oil fields, it will have a stranglehold on the world economy,'' adds Klare.
Washington is betting, Klare believes, that
"controlling Gulf oil, combined with being a decade ahead of everybody
else in military technology, will guarantee
American supremacy for the next 50 to 100 years.''
This is close to correct, except for one small thing:
The United States isn't going to control anything.
Bush isn't doing this to make America stronger and richer.
He's doing this to make the B.F.E.E. stronger and richer.
If this was some noble, logical chess move to secure America's
safety, we'd all be right behind him.
But their intense secrecy tells us they're hiding something,
and that would be the billions they
are stealing every month with this phoney oil war that no other
nation is behind.
Quotes
"I've not made up our mind about military action."
--Dubya, lying his ass off, Mar. 6, 2003
BartCop Radio
The buying of the broadcasting equipment has begun.
So far, I have my Lil' Radio Dude's "Hey
good looking, we'll be back for you later," microphone.
It's cool. It runs on batteries and it glows in the
dark.
Plus I got headphones and an FX box that they say will make me
sound like a young Moses.
In a couple of days we'll be getting more, building BartCop Radio a piece at a time.
We're working on it right this second.
Wish us luck, and consider joining the team!
Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching
all new subscriptions.
Help make BartCop Radio an April
thing,
rather than a May-June
thing.
Is bartcop.com worth $5
a month?
Thanks to Bruce Yurgil
They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
The Internet Resistance is all we have.
Click Here to support BartCop Radio big-time
Quotes
"I've been in situations like this a number
of times before in my career where public opinion was against you,
where there were demonstrations against
you, but if you did what was right, and it turned out to be the correct
thing to do because you have made a
region of the world a safer, better place, then you can be vindicated in
the aftermath, and I think that's the
situation we're facing right now."
--Colin Powell, with
Wolf the Whore, cnn.com 03/09/03
Colin, that may be, but this is the first world-takeover attempt
in my lifetime.
I was born after Hitler died, so the B.F.E.E. is my first.
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online?
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley Manson and her band