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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... MSGOP says Kerry won #2 Was the Monkey wired?  Michael Moore's big rally  D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-s  Grand Theft Nation Big loss for Bush  Is Bush a Dope? Tom DeLay: Time to Resign Clueless Bush Distorts   Quote of the Day "Kerry is so confident he's windsurfing again."                            --David Letterman

 

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 Quotes

"We all had our debate moments, but the one that stunned me was,
 "Iraq is hard work. I see it on the TV screens."

 Watching it on TV -- boy, that is tough work all right.
 And what was the "hard work" thing about?
 Did Rove poll and find out people think the president vacations too much?
   -- Molly Ivins, knocking 'em dead  Attribution

 According to MSGOP...

  Click  Here

 Who won the debate?   * 1,281,529 responses

 Pres. Bush 36%

 Sen. Kerry 64%
 

 To test the system, I tried to vote twice and it wouldn't let me, so this is semi-scientific.
 With over a million responses...
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Show 56 feedback

 Hey Bart,

 As a subscriber and contributor from the once liberal oasis of Oklahoma, Norman, I want you to know
 that I read BartCop daily and look forward your shows.  Since I subscribed, earlier this summer, I haven't
 missed a show and each has been most entertaining.  56 was no exception.  With excellent commentary,
 comedy and music, it was loads of fun listening and watching the light show on my iTunes viewer.
 One little piece of advice, if I may, don't work yourself into a coronary trying to debate the Lying Monkey.
 Remember, it's like trying to teach a pig to sing ... it can drive you nuts, and it only annoys the pig.

 By now I know you've reviewed the Cheney/Edwards slugfest.  I wouldn't even attempt to debate the Snakehead.
 Have you ever before heard so many lies and distortions crammed into two minute sound bites?  I think Edwards
 was superb just trying to answer about one in five.  I'm afraid even your Chinaco wouldn't get you through a
 point-by-point with the Evil One, and we can't have you strokin' out on us ... we need you around!

 This old fart, for one, needs belly laughs to keep his juices flowing and some reinforcement that reasonable
 folks haven't donated  their brains and joined "The Cult".  Keep up your good work, and keep hammering!
 Bill

 Quotes

"Of course not, the system is rigged,"
   -- Ralph Nader, admitting that he won't win a single state  Attribution
 

  He should admit the only reason he's staying in is to siphon votes away from kerry to help Bush.

 From: Bart.cop@comcast.net

 Subject: Before somebody says

 Bart, you wrote:

> Before somebody says, "That's the battery pack for the microphone," those are usually
> clipped onto a belt - we assume he's wearing a belt, so what's it for?

 it was an armored vest, idiot.
 go stand on a stack of bodies, people can hear you better from up there.

 Sincerely,
 Bart.cop the female stalker
 who hides behind  Bart.cop@comcast.net
 

 Well yeah, ...duhhhh, the Smirk campaign says that's not the case.

 The Bush spokesmen say you're full of shit. (See Below)
 So far, I have no facts to refute their likely assertion.
 

 Bush campaign denies Monkey was wired
   Aides Laugh Off 'Wired Debate' Rumor

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A still photo from television footage of Bush as he debated Kerry on Sept. 30 in Fla.,
 appears to show a small, boxy shape between the president's shoulder blades.

 Campaign officials declined to discuss it further because
 they weren't certain a bulge even existed and do not want to
 appear to take seriously what they consider a "wild accusation."
 

 My party is so weak and such a joke, they just f-ing taunt us.
 They taunt us because they know we don't have the courage of 6 year-old girls.

"They weren't certain a bulge even existed?

..

 Do your eyes not work?
 How do you look at that picture and say, "What bulge in his back?"

 They know the Demo Mice are too timid to say,
"Screw you - it's a big-ass lump, ...visible to all honest people.
  If you say you can't see it, you're nothing more than a f-ing liar!"
 

 Clarification for Nitpickers:
 I didn't say that it was a secret listening device on Bush's back.
 I said it was a pronounced square lump on his back,
 and how dare the press whores look in the camera and say, "Lump? Do you see a lump?"

 Yes, we all see the lump.
 It's smaller than Mount St. Helens, but YES it's clearly a lump!
 

   Comments?

 Michael Moore Lambasts Bush While Watching Debate

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Let's get ready to rumble," Moore shouted, perched on a podium in the center of Williams Arena
 during a stop on his so-called "Slacker Uprising Tour."

 Moore, flanked by three bodyguards in dark suits, threw $100 bills into a baseball cap every time
 he felt the president lied, and at one point suggested that Bush should be tried in the international criminal court.

 Moore said at the end of the debate that he threw $2,000 into his hat -- $100 for lies,
 $50 for misstatements, and $10 for funny looks on the president's face.

"Last resort? That's $100 right there," Moore said, after Bush said Bush invaded Iraq as a last resort.

"I've never given money to a Democrat or a Republican presidential candidate," Moore said,
"but what we raise here tonight, I'm going to donate to John Kerry."
 

   Comments?

 Subject: Rodney

 I heard that guys like Rodney and Buddy Hackett were freakishly funny in clubs
 but worked "blue" and did the snoozy chit on the side for tv and movies.

 The only dirty joke that comes to mind is off an old album I have ( yes vinyl ). It is--
"I went to church and some guy in a robe tells me love thy neighbor as I love myself....
 what am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too?"

 CK
 

 More Rodney:

"My old man didn't help, either. One time I was kidnapped.
  They sent back a piece of my finger. He said he wanted more proof!"

"At my age, if I don't drink, don't smoke, and eat only certain foods,
  what can I look forward to? From this point on, if I take excellent
  care of myself -- I'll get very sick and die."

"Last week my house caught on fire. My wife told the kids,
 'Be quiet, you'll wake up Daddy.'"
.
"I was a very ugly child. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother."

`I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.''

"We were so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with!"

``I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.''

"You know what the trouble with me is?
  I appeal to everyone who can do me absolutely no good,"

"I was on a date and we ran into a guy she knew and she introduced us.
  She said, 'Steve, this is Rodney. Rodney, this is goodbye.' "

"I was lost at the beach once and a cop helped me look for my parents.
  I said to him, 'You think we'll find them?' He said, 'I don't know, kid.
  There's so many places they could hide.' "

 When Dangerfield was asked how long he would be in the hospital for his last operation,
 he responded with a typical quip: ``If things go right, I'll be there about a week,
 and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.''
 

..
 

   Comments?

 Subject: Michael Moore with Bartcop emblem

 Michael asked me if Bartcop was still against him.
 He said he thought it started at the Academy Award incident.
 I said, No, Bart was behind that. He liked it.
 I said as far as I knew Bart had always admired him.

 I had just given him a card that read:

"Thank you for standing up when no one else in the public eye did.
  The dead, those who gave their lives for a better world, will rest easier for what you did."

 He took a long time to read it. And was moved by it and said he thanked me very much for saying that.

 He's smiling in the picture.

 He said he was glad to know everything was OK with Bart - he was happy to have it cleared up.
 Marguerite

..

 Marguerite, thanks for that.   I wasn't Michael's biggest fan in 2000, when he was
 helping Nader, but then I heard he pulled away from Nader before the election
 to give Gore a better chance at beating He Who Giggles When He Murders.

 But Moore has done so much good in the last 2-3 years
 I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a fan of his forever.

 Why Don't Americans Care?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"It seems hard to believe. But the general rule of thumb is that major cities are slightly more attuned
 due to aggressive media saturation and how issues tend to make themselves known more urgently,
 more immediately, whereas Middle America is a scattershot conglomeration of the politically apathetic
 and the actively disenfranchised, full of people far too busy with their lives and kids and jobs and zoning out
 on "Fear Factor" and "Monday Night Football" to care about following the elitist, ever dire dramas
 playing out on the nation's gilded stages.

 Most Americans, in other words, have no idea what the hell a Halliburton is. Or a Karl Rove.
 Or a Donny "Shriveled Soul" Rumsfeld. Or a Lockheed Martin. Or a Carlysle Group. Or have any idea
 that Saddam had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11. Or that WMDs were never found. Or that Bush
 has taken more vacation time than any president in U.S. history.  Or where Iraq is on a map."
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Rodney

 I saw Rodney in concert in the early '80s...
 The newspaper estimated that Rodney told 300 jokes in the 3 hours he was on stage..
 After a heckler in the audience yelled, "What do you do for a living?"
 Rodney responded: " I find guys for your sister."

 ...nothing but respect.

 john

 Grand Theft Nation

  Click  Here

  Excerpt
 Dubya, the Presidiot, went into the den of the residence and picked up his joystick and video game controls.
 Mrs. Bush entered the den and said, "I am going to bed, can I get you anything before I go to sleep?"

"Yeah, I would like a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. That would be fabulous."

 Laura picked up the phone and paused for three seconds before she said, "The same sandwich, please.
 Thank you and good night." She hung up the phone and without looking at her husband, she left the room
 saying, "Good night, Mr. Prezeedent."

 Dubya squinted across the room for a few minutes, staring at space. After four or five minutes, he picked up
 the phone quietly and whispered, "Six thirty-threes, pronto, por favor." And as if they were waiting for his call,
 there was a knock on his door in less than five minutes. A male staffer was there with a Champaign bucket full
 of six Rolling Rock beers.

 Subject: the bulge on Bush's back

 Bartcop,

 I think I have come up with a solution to what the bulge was under the Crawford Mistake's jacket.
 If you look at the bulge and follow it up to the shoulders, you can see the outline of a vest.
 The despicable coward was wearing body armor!

 Our soldiers in harms way over in Bush's crusade don't have the protection they need,
 but apparently the bubble boy feels the need to be protected from Jim Lehrer.
 Keep swinging the Hammer!

 Bluesbassman
 

 Plus, let's not forget Bush wants everyone in America to carry a gun.

 Big loss for Bush
    by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Bush seized upon a phrase from the debate and twisted its meaning. "Senator Kerry last night
 said that America has to pass some sort of global test," he told a jeering audience in Allentown, Pa.,
 "before we can use American troops to defend ourselves....  Listen, I'll continue to work with our
 allies and the international community.  But I will never submit America's national security to an
 international test. The use of troops to defend America must never be subject to a veto by
 countries like France."

 Almost needless to say, Kerry said almost the opposite. He affirmed that "the president always has
 the right and always has had the right for pre-emptive strike." He said he would never compromise that,
 but would act in a way that "passes the global test where your countrymen, your people, understand fully
 why you're doing what you're doing. And you can prove to the world that you did it for legitimate reasons."
 In short, Kerry thinks the president should act like the leader of a democracy, with what the Declaration
 of Independence called "a decent respect for the opinions of Man-kind." It's no surprise that a callow
 impostor like Bush pretends to misunderstand him.

 Is Bush a Dope?
   LA Times editorial thinks so...

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Does this man think through his beliefs before they harden into unwavering principles?
 Is he open to countervailing evidence?
 Does he test his beliefs against new evidence and outside argument?
 Does his understanding of a subject go any deeper than the minimum amount needed for public display?
 Is he intellectually curious? Does he try to reconcile his beliefs on one subject with his beliefs on another?

 It's bad if a president is incapable of the abstract thought necessary for these mental exercises.
 If he is capable and isn't even trying, that's worse. It becomes a question of character.
 When a president sends thousands of young Americans to kill and die halfway around the world,
 thinking about it as hard and as honestly as possible is the least he can do.
 

  Comments?

 Scary mail

 Uncle Bart,
 I listened to BCR Parts 1 & 2 of Show #54 - you made some really good points.
 It's really good to hear your voice when I listen, and for the first several minutes,
 I sit there and think "Wow, this is MY uncle that I'm listening to on the internet - Cool!"

 Your niece
  AR
 

 Koresh!
 My family knows?

 Tom DeLay: Time to Resign
     by Faun Otter  in a  bartcop.com  exclusive

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Did I say that DeLay didn't have the clout to affect the outcome of a lawsuit?
 Ahh, there would be a possible exception to that if the plaintiff was the US government......
 Did you happen to read the Justice Department statement released on May 3, 2004?
 I didn't think so. I do wish you'd bother to keep up with such things.

 In a separate case, Johnny Ashcroft's DOJ team sued Cracker Barrel for violating Title II of the Civil Rights Act of 1964
 by engaging in a pattern or practice of discrimination against African-American customers and prospective customers on the
 basis of their race or color. The investigation found 50 different Cracker Barrel restaurants which had racism problems and
 80 percent of the staff had experienced or witnessed discriminatory treatment of customers at a Cracker Barrel restaurant.
 The DOJ resolved the matter with a huge punishment. They made Cracker Barrel post signs saying they don't discriminate.

 Subject: Friday night's debate

 Dear Bart,

 Two presidential debates and two clear wins. John Kerry is going to be the next president
 of the United States, and more people know it now than just two short hours ago.

 Tonight, George Bush had another chance to make his case to the American people. Again he failed.

 Again, he showed that he is out of touch with reality on Iraq.
 Again, he offered no plan for jobs and no plan for cutting the cost of health care.
 Again, he pretended that our problems don't exist.
 Again, he refused to level with the American people.
 George Bush just doesn't get it, so he can't fix it.
 John Kerry held George Bush accountable for the failures of the last four years.
 He demonstrated the strength and character we need in a president.
 He made it clear he could lead as commander in chief.

 John Kerry offered real solutions to real problems. He told America the truth, and offered a plan
 for a fresh start on the economy, Iraq, and the war on terror. Simply put, he was presidential.
 Ironically, the president was not.

 Right now, I'm here on the front lines in St. Louis. Down the hall is what they call the "spin room."
 It is where Republican operatives are trying to put their best face on what was another clear victory for John Kerry.
 I've done this a few times before, and I can tell you firsthand that my job is a lot easier when our candidate
 has a big night like John Kerry did tonight.

 I know, and more importantly John Kerry knows, how hard YOU are going to work
 to make sure the Bush campaign doesn't spin this debate.

 To take action, visit the Democratic Party's Debate Center website:

 Sincerely,
 Joe Lockhart
 Senior Advisor

 Debate Transcript

 Friday, a few of us got together in the chat room
 to watch Kerry pimp-slap the Giggling Murderer.

 This is not a transcript of the debate.
 It's the "excited utterances" of about 40 of the 120 people in the room.

  Click  Here

 It's hours and hours of reading, but if you give it a look,
 I'll bet you stay longer than you intended.

 Subscription Drive

If Bush wins, you'll need  bartcop.com  to stay sane.

If Kerry wins, the media will do their very best destroy him.

  Why not subscribe, and we'll go thru this together?
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.....

 Michigan Absentee Ballot Favors Crooked Bush

  Click  Here  to see the crooked GOP ballot

  Excerpt:
 Notice how there is an arrow next to every candidate you would like to vote for.
 Except for the Presidential part of the ballot. The arrows are OFF by ONE candidate.
 So if you wanted to vote for Kerry you would actually mark the box for Bush....
 

..

"My Wolverines are coming through for me as promised.
  As long as we don't get caught, my eye won't twitch..."
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"If this administration wins a second term because people want to believe the untruths
  we have been told, or because they are too disinterested to recognize them, we are, I fear,
  well on our way to Orwell's horrific vision of a world in which people's thoughts can be
  controlled by disconnecting them from reality. A world in which black has, in fact, become white."
     --Nancy Lewis,     Attribution

 Reminder:

 If you have subscribed, temp or permanent, we want you in the members area.

 If I owe you something or if I've forgotten to do something, contact Sam.

 bartcop.com  reader Medical Barbie
 protesting John O'Neill (R-Fascist Pig)

  Click  Here
 

 Subject: middle aged Bart

 bart,
 I saw this on Netphoria

 bartcop.com

 check it out - the tough perspective from a middle aged man from oklahoma.
 the republicans will hate it, as will you softie democrats.

 Andrew
 

 ha ha
 I'm not "middle-aged."
 I'm old...
 

   Comments?

 U.S. Job Growth Weaker Than Expected
   Goodbye, Chimp - America will not tolerate a loser!

  Click  Here
 

 Melissa Etheridge Has Breast Cancer, Cancels Tour
   ...doctor expects a "speedy and complete recovery,"

  Click  Here
 

 Democratic Leaders Call for DeLay's Ouster
   They don't mean it - they're afraid of Sugerland's nastiest Bug man

  Click  Here
 

 Frat brothers wrote slurs on dying pledge
  Who wants to join a group with traditions like that?

  Click  Here
 

 Robin Williams film to be beamed in via satellite
  Digital projectors are here - no more clunky reels of film to ship

  Click  Here

 Clueless Bush Distorts Kerry's 'Global Test'
    by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Perhaps Mr. Bush doesn't understand what those words mean.  That same excuse is not available
 to others who promoted Mr. Bush's distortion. William Safire referred to "Kerry's notion that such
 a [pre-emptive] attack had to have prior  world-public approval," although Kerry said nothing of the kind.

 Condoleezza Rice said on CNN that she couldn't figure out Mr. Kerry's meaning.
 "I don't understand 'proving to the world that you did it for legitimate reasons,'" she complained to
 Wolf Blitzer. She also didn't seem to understand how grimly ironic that assertion sounded in the midst of
 the CNN interview - which chiefly concerned the Bush administration's intentional fabrications about the
 nuclear "threat" posed by Saddam Hussein's regime.
 

   Comments?

 Subject: in the final debate...

 I hope to Christ someone from the Kerry campaign visits your website.

 The next time Bush skirts the issue that no WMDs were found but says the war was worth it
 because Saddam was stealing money that Kerry will look the audience in the eye, recount the
 daily carnage encountered by our troops, and ask the merican people if the money Saddam stole
 was worth ONE American life, let alone a thousand.

 Roman
 

 Kerry does something I do not understand.
 When he talks about "the cost" of the war, he always says, "$200 billion."
 he never mentions the cost in lives, lost arms and legs and the mental breakdowns.

 Why is Kerry afraid to mention the biggest reason Bush should be fired?
 

  Comments?

 France Bashing, Again!
  by Robert Parry at consortiumnews.com,

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Bush apparently wants to make "France" the new political f-word.

 On Oct. 1, the day after the debate, Bush told an audience in Allentown, Pa., that Kerry was
 demanding "that America has to pass some sort of 'global test' before we can use American
 troops to defend ourselves." Bush then added: "The use of troops to defend America must
 never be subject to a veto by countries like France."

 Bush's remark took his partisan listeners back to those halcyon days before March 2003,
 when invading Iraq was going to be a "cakewalk" and the French were "surrender monkeys"
 for wanting more time to let U.N. weapons inspectors search for weapons of mass destruction.
 In those good ol' days, Bush backers poured French wine into gutters and renamed French Fries
 as Freedom Fries. Even the White House got into the fun by changing the Air Force One menu
 to read "Freedom Toast," not French toast.

 Now, almost two years later, with an Iraqi insurgency growing in intensity and more than 1,000
 U.S. soldiers dead, Bush is slipping back, rhetorically, to that happier time, possibly for
 psychological as well as political reasons. With his polls dropping after his shaky debate
 performance, Bush is trying to steady himself and his followers with a trip down memory lane
 where the French are again the cowardly villains.
 

 Note: consortiumnews.com is the most important site on the internet
 

..

"I hope my eye doesn't start twitching.
  It does that when I lie to myself and my gullible sheep..."

   Comments?

 Correcting Kerry's Lies (from the vulgar Pigboy's site)
  We're doing the job the partisan press used to do

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Yet we now know who was on the take was the UN Security Council and how does the media report this?
 The same old, same old, predictable as anything: Attack Bush over weapons of mass destruction but not a
 single word about this report's consequences to John Kerry and his policy of embracing the U.N.

 JOHN KERRY: No, the President is not telling the truth and the Duelfer report says otherwise, that the
 sanctions had prevented him from being able to reconstitute his program, the sanctions had prevented him --

 RUSH: This is an out-and-out lie. It was just the opposite. He says the sanctions on Saddam were working?.
 

 First, isn't it a shame that FOX News, MSGOP, the newspapers and talk radio are all pimps for Kerry?
 Isn't it sad that FOX News whores themselves to give Kerry a boost?
 Rush is saying the truth remains hidden because FOX strongly backs Kerry - does anyone believe that?

 Second, of course the sanctions were working.
 Saddam had no WMD and, apparently, didn't have much of a traditional army, either.
 Saddam was powerless to invade anybody - that's what the sanctions were for.

 Pigboy, why are you lying?
 

   Comments?

 Bush: Afghan Election a 'Marvelous Thing'
  You are not going to believe what Bush is pulling in Afghanistan

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"A marvelous thing is happening in Afghanistan," Bush said at another fund-raiser
"Freedom is powerful. Think about a society in which young girls couldn't go to school,
 and their mothers were whipped in the public square, and today they're holding a presidential election."
 

 Want to know the truth?
 Bush's puppet Hamid Karzai had 15 challengers for president.
 All 15 dropped out to protest the erasable ink on the ballots.
 That means the BFEE can just erase the vote and write in "Hamid Karzai"
 and then tell the world, "Look, they have free & fair elections in Afghanistan."

 Bush runs elections in Afghanistan like Jeb runs them in Florida.
 It's a f-ing joke, like everything President Screw-Up has ever done.

 Subject: favorite Rodney joke

"I grew up in a tough town. My town was so tough,
  the library had a sign that said 'Shut the fuck up.' "

 Ralph A
 

"I went into a bar.  Bartender asked me, "What'll you have?"
  I said 'surprise me,' so he pulled out a naked picture of my wife."

 The Duke of URLA
 

 I remember another one from decades ago:
"I grew up in a tough neighborhood. Walking towards
  the subway, a kid held me up with a knife. I could tell
  it was his first mugging because there was butter on it."
 

  Comments?

 Sooner defense shuts out the Texas Shorthorns
   To Texas Democrats - sorry       To Texas Republicans, suck on this*

 The OU defense held Texas' vaunted rushing offense 200 yards below its season average
 as the No. 2-ranked Sooners beat the No. 5 Shorthorns Saturday at the Cotton Bowl.
 Texas hadn't been shut out since a Nov. 22 1980 loss to Baylor, a string of 282 games.

 When you're the football coach in Norman, Oklahoma, you only have one duty: Tuck Fexas.
 Bob Stoops is very, very good at his job.

 Sooner fans chanted 'five straight years' as the Texas Shorthorns left the Cotton Bowl on Saturday.
 Walking to the south ramp, the end of the stadium with OU fans, the Shorthorns didn't need to be
 reminded that they haven't won in this series in this century.*

 ...and that reminds me of The Barry Switzer factor that proves that Bill Clinton's
 administrations tied for the most ethical administrations in American history!

 I miss my old buddy Sabutai.
 He would've loved seeing his Sooners mash the Shorthorns again.

..

 Subject: Bush never loses!

 Bush never loses!

 Ggmurray
 

 It would be more accurate to say,
 "Bush never plays - unless his Daddy has purchased a win for him up-front."

 He's a punk ass loser who's never been tested because Daddy always makes everything OK.

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