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Show 91 is Up
Weekend-Monday April
15-17, 2006 Volume
1746 - Red Vinyard
strackforcongress.com
"Change
the culture of corruption in Washington.
The
names say it all: Halliburton, Delay, Abramoff.
No
bids, no oversight, no audits."
If I could vote in Michigan,
I'd vote for my good friend Fred Strack.
Quotes
"The CIA was pushing the aluminum tube argument
heavily and Cheney went with that
instead of what our guys wrote. That
was a big mistake. It should never have been in the speech.
I didn't need Wilson to tell me that
there wasn't a Niger connection. He didn't tell us anything
we didn't already know. I never believed
it."
-- Colin Powell, discovering honesty now that 2375 soldiers are dead,
Link
Comments?
George W.
Bush Is a Liar
by Robert Parry as seen on consortiumnews.com
Link
Excerpt:
The White House is back to its argument that
George W. Bush was just a victim of bad intelligence
when he rushed the nation to war with Iraq in
2003. But the evidence is now overwhelming that
Bush is a liar who apparently believes he can
get away with saying whatever he wants to the
American people without fear of accountability
Notice what Parry did not say.
He didn't say, "Bush has a passing acquaintance
with the truth."
He didn't say, "Bush has some trouble distinguishing
truth from non-truth."
He didn't say, "Bush often forgets to mention
all sides of the story."
No, he said, "Bush
is a liar."
Mealy-mouthed, pink tutu senate Democrats can't put those four words
together.
They're afraid that Karl Rove might become angry, so they pour sugar
on the facts.
Note: Consortiumnews.com is the most important site on
the Internet
Comments?
Military
coup in the United States?
Link
Excerpt:
The seeds of the outrage are all there. The war-ravaged
economy is in the dumps, American casualties in Iraq
are mounting with Iraq itself now in the throes
of a civil war, corruption in high places is rampant and political
scandals are exploding on almost daily basis
in Washington. In addition to all this, Bush wants yet another war.
"If this opens up so we have more officers blaming
Rumsfeld, then it is possibly heading towards a fairly
dangerous civilian-military crisis," opined Andrew
Bacevich, a military historian at Boston University.
If only John Kerry had wanted to be president.
If only the Democrats would listen to me instead of Bob Shrum.
Comments?
America's
Secret Police?
Bush says we must agree with him
Link
Excerpt:
Pentagon officials began discussions about merging
the two after the commission issued its recommendations.
An initial round of meetings about the merger,
however, failed to come up with a plan. In the meantime, CIFA,
a mysterious and secretive unit created in 2002
and charged with making Defense counterintelligence efforts
more effective, became the subject of two public
controversies.
The first erupted late in 2005 when documents
surfaced indicating that CIFA (whose mission, according to
its own officials, is supposed to be limited
to analysis of counterintelligence data produced by other agencies)
was discovered to have put together a database
that included reports on anti-administration
demonstrators, including peace activists
protesting alleged "war profiteering."
So now it's illegal to ask where the stolen billions went?
It's illegal to ask why 5300 Americans (so far) have died for
Bush's lies?
When Kos and Atrios go down, we're headed for Iceland.
Comments?
Subject: your quote of the day
Bart, you wrote, or more accurately, quoted):
> "It's like having Goober from Mayberry
> as president of the United States."
That's not fair.
Goober had technical skills and ran a successful
business.
Keep 'r' swingin' Bart
MindPilot
Comments?
Quotes
"The Leaker-in-Chief can barely speak without
notes (often, even with them), unless in some sort of
bullying snit or that other smug "we can do
and take anything we want; we're the superpower and
we're in charge; I've got political capital"
awfulness. Whenever the home team is on a losing streak,
the manager starts to get incoming from the
fans and the complicit we-love-this-war media. Of course,
as a lizard goes down, a lot of damage can
be done by the thrashing tail before it's forever silenced."
-- Michael Donnelly Link
Repeat:
The only way out of this is for some high-ranking Republicans to sit the
Monkey down and say,
"George, you had a good run but it's time
for you to go back to your fake ranch and disappear."
Comments?
markfiore.com/animation
Subject: congress
Bart,
Waaaay back when as I was learnin' bout Congress
and their cohorts we were taught that they
couldn't even be stopped for speeding as that
could be an excuse to tamper with government in action.
Now, wasn't McKinney en route to a legit session?
And doesn't that absolve her from any of these
alledged 'crimes'?
End of story.
As far as non puppy press is concerned.
Chu-ship
Dude, you might have a point.
The theory goes that it's illegal to stop, even for an arrest, a member
of congress because if it wasn't,
the DC police could just round up everyone who was against a bill Bush
wanted and it would pass.
Maybe the Democrats are too polite to remind the cops they are arrest-proof.
Comments?
Subject: Nuclear war with Iran?
I think that Congress should pass a law that says
if the
President can't properly pronounce the word "nuclear,"
he shouldn't be allowed to start a nuclear war
with Iran.
Maybe that will keep the moron from wiping out
civilization.
Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.
Comments?
I'm so old, I remember when America was great.
Bartcop
radio now on iTunes
Link
RSS feed link - feed://slapcast.com/rss/BartCop/index.xml
Webpage - http://slapcast.com/users/BartCop
MaxyourMacs has edited a 7-minute clip of BartCast
for iTunes.
You just click on it and it plays (once you've downloaded the iTunes
software)
Just type in BartCast
(case sensitive) in the search field and it will take you to the BartCast
page.
Comments?
Subject: torture is a bad thing?
Bart, you wrote,
> Torture is a bad, bad thing. We all agree on that.
For the last two years you've argued that torture
is a good way
to save your little girl or a whole city of millions.
You've ADVOCATED IT !
That's crazy talk.
Torture is a bad, bad thing and everybody knows
it.
Torture should not be condoned in 99.99 percent
of all cases.
Now, suddenly, it's "bad"..."we all agree"...
Come now Bart, please go through all that mumbo
jumbo again,
and tell us just how it will save millions of
little girls from certain death!
F@cKing Best Regards,
Rob
Rob, you love to ride on this merry-go-round.
Too bad your daughter's not alive to enjoy it :)
Comments?
Get
your dot.com on Bartcop Radio
Radio Housekeeping
So far, one person has called the
BartPhone
to publicize his/her website. That's crazy.
When we were young pups on the internets,
we would've killed for free publicity.
Don't you know that BCR
is heard by dozens?
If you don't take advantage of free
advertising
you're saying you don't want more readers.
Bush
lovers welcome to call
to get spanked, not advertise
1-800-530-2979
Bush Whopper
Becomes Instant Classic
by Molly Ivins
Link
Excerpt:
Bush leaked bad information from a classified
intelligence report because there wasn't enough time
for the contradictory DIA report to go through
a declassification process. All of which would make
more sense if we hadn't just gone through this
Valerie Plame episode, in which the White House says
if the president leaked it, then it's legal to
leak it. No problem, the president can declassify at will,
they said.
I don't know about you, but none of it is becoming
clearer for me.
Does anyone understand yet why we had to bomb
Iran?
I'm confused - we already bombed Iran?
Comments?
Visit funnytimes.com
Iranian
Handjob: Israel Will Be Annihilated
Link
Excerpt:
The Handjob of Iran again lashed out at Israel
on Friday and said it was "heading toward annihilation,"
just days after Tehran said it successfully enriched
uranium for the first time.
President Mahmoud Ahandjob called Israel a "permanent
threat" that will "soon" be liberated.
He also appeared to again question whether the
Holocaust really happened.
"Like it or not, the Zionist regime is heading
toward annihilation," Ahandjob said.
"The Zionist regime is a rotten, dried tree that
will be eliminated by one storm."
This guy makes Bush seem sane.
Remember in Godfather II, when Fredo's wife is drunk and messing up
the party?
Rocco tells Fredo, "Michael says if you don't
take care of this, I have to."
That's what Israel is telling our blood-thirsty Murder Monkey right
now.
Comments?
Subject: Bart's
Law #13
Dear Bart:
Sometimes you write some really crazed shit that
makes me wonder
exactly how much tequila you consume while producing
your webpage.
First of all, RFK was not "murdered by the other
side."
He got his brains splattered by an Iranian restaurant
worker named Sirhan
who was upset because RFK had praised the evil
Shaw of Iran during a
TV interview the night before the California
primary in 1968.
I know because when I heard RFK's remarks during
that TV show,
I predicted that some Iranian whose relative
had been tortured was going
to shoot the little runt pimp bastard.
Which is what happened.
They should give Sirhan a medal and let him walk.
Don't believe me?
Check out The
Dark Side of Camelot by Seymour M. Hersh
Jim Karageanes
Jim, you are a test case for free speech.
My point was we have no idea who killed RFK.
Our government lied to us about what really happened.
Comments?
allhatnocattle.net
Random Thought...
Just now on Air America, I heard some someone say,
"Bush won the war, but he failed to win the
peace."
That's the kind of horseshit (however true) that will lose 2008 for
us.
If we want to win, we'll say something like, "When
Bush had Osama cornered in Bora Bora,
he let him go so he could invade Iraq and
steal that oil ...and everybody knows that's true."
When did it become "out of bounds" to tell the truth about your opponent
in a political campaign?
They outright lie about our guys, "Kerry the
wartime coward," and so on,
while our wimpy campaign managers refuse to tell the f-ing truth about
the bad guys.
The DNC needs to put me in second-in-command in 2008.
They'll still have their man (sorry girls) at the top guy to thumbs-down
my great ideas,
but we wouldn't lose because nobody on our team could think of a snappy-ass
comeback..
Sidebar:
After the 2004 elections, we lost a LOT of readers/subscribers.
When I get a cut-off notice, I write and ask if they'd care to say
why...
Eighty to ninety percent replied, "I need
a break, I just can't take losing again and again."
If we lose 2008, we could go past the point of no return.
Comments?
Oil man's
half a billion dollar bye-bye
Link
Excerpt:
Exxon Mobil's price gouging allowed Lee Raymond
to retire in style as chairman.
Mr Raymond received a compensation package worth
about $140 million last year.
He is also still entitled to long-term compensation
worth at least another $258 million,
Exxon's board also agreed to pick up Mr Raymond's
country club fees...
Comments?
The net's best advertising deal
advertise
on bartcop.com
Flashback
Quotes
"'High Crimes and Misdemeanors' is what they
wrote in the Constitution.
The Founding Fathers never messed with
their interns, no.
When they wanted sex, they just raped
their slaves."
-- Bart, in a
back issue, during "The Flag is Falling" 1998
Next time you have nothing to do, start on a pint of vodka
and pick a number
between 40 and the number of the issue when you started reading
bartcop.com
There's gold in those back issues, but you gotta pan for it :)
Comments?
Subject: Re: What hit the Pentagon
on 9-11?
Link
Excerpt:
Why the link to the slick, fictional, mesmerizing
piece of garbage that directs
the viewer to conclude that Flight 77 did not
hit the Pentagon?
Why that link?
Why not that link?
Can I get a list of approved links from you?
Comments?
Dr. Babs, PhD
Subject: Tom Cruise
can
act
Link
South Park
Bites Hand
Link
Excerpt:
Banned by Comedy Central from showing an image
of the Islamic prophet Muhammad,
"South Park" skewered their own network for hypocrisy
in the cartoon's most recent episode.
The comedy - in an episode aired during Holy Week
for Christians - instead featured
an image of Jesus Christ defecating on
Bush and the American flag.
Comments?
Marty's
Entertainment Page
always
has good stuff.
Neil Young
Records "Impeach the President"
He's tired of singing the praises of Der Monkey
Link
Excerpt:
Rumors have circulated the past few days on the
Web, but we tracked down
confirmation in a blog by musician/singer Alicia
Morgan. Previous reports said
that Neil was working on a hard-rocking political
or "anti-Bush" CD.
Last Friday, Morgan wrote on her LastLeftB4Hooterville
blog that she had been "summoned"
to a local studio to sing on the new record with
99 others. "The first line of one of the songs was
'Let's impeach the President for lyin'!'
Turns out the whole thing is a classic beautiful protest record.
Welcome back, Neil.
Comments?
Subject:BartCast
If this radio program becomes available via podcast,
I'd be a subscriber for life.
The audio sounds real nice.
Best Regards,
-pgw
Pete, this is the first I've heard.
Apparently, the BartCast
sounds better than the members section 40K mono
(CD buyers hear the 128K-Tommy-Mack-in-all-his-glory
stereo)
Also, I hope I didn't misstate the facts.
We put a 7-minute snippet sampler on Podcast,
if that's the same as iTunes.
My only income (besides the banner ads lose change)
is radio show subscriptions.
Since it says "Internet comedian" on my tax return,
(beats "Bush stake driver")
I guess I need to confess to showing a little
thigh in the hopes of enticing progressive,
employed Democrats into paying for the real thing.
I remember writing years ago,
"Staying alive is a noble cause."
It's tough out here for a lefty webmaster.
Comments?
katherineharrissucks.com
The Fallujah
Option
Link
Excerpt:
Of all the war crimes that have flowed from the
originating war crime of George W. Bush's unprovoked
invasion of Iraq, perhaps the most flagrant was
the wanton destruction of Fallujah in November 2004.
Now, as ignominious defeat looms for Bush's Babylonian
folly, some of the key players in fomenting
the war are urging that the "Fallujah Option"
be applied to an even bigger target: Baghdad.
Bush is going to Democratize Iraq if he has to murder every last one
of them.
Comments?
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Subject: Tom Cruise
I don't know if he can act or not.
I've enjoyed some of the movies he's been in.
I like Rain Man.
What I do know is he's crazier than a shithouse
rat.
Matt Lauer should have reached across and bitch-slapped
him.
Have a great day.
Jim T
Subject: Tom Cruise
Bart,
Tom Cruise may be a loon and a mediocre actor,
but he has done something that sets him apart
from everybody else: worked with every A-list
director, almost systematically. Think about it:
How many people of his generation have worked
with Kubrick, Scorsese, Levinson, DePalma, Woo,
Pollack, Reiner, Spielberg, Oliver Stone, Ridley
Scott, Zeffirelli, Coppola, Ron Howard and Cameron Crowe?
He is the only one.
I dont care much for the guy or his acting, but
he makes some wise choices and surrounds himself
with the best directors on the planet, which
may explain some of his success.
David
Did Cruise really do a film with Tiger Woods?
Comments?
Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2002 Halliburton Upgrade)
times today's oil price which is
$70.82 a barrel
makes $141,640,000
Bush stole just yesterday
...add to that, Iran pumps 3M barrels a day.
Once the sick bastard invades, that's 5M barrels
a day
times today's oil price which is
$70.82 a barrel
makes $354,100,000
dollars Bush will steal daily
That's a third of a billion dollars every day
No wonder they were so eager to start a war
...and what did it cost us?
2368
2375 soldiers' lives
We lost seven
since Friday.
On what date will Bush's oil snatch hit $100 a barrel?
http://icasualties.org/oif/
Subject: agree with most things
you say, but...
According to Peter Bergen, Osama had very little
use of the CIA.
You mean Osama manufactured his own American made
Stinger missles?
I'm a gambling man and I'm ready to bet that
he didn't.
How much you willing to go?
He was flush with his personal fortune in addition
to scads of money lavished on him by the Saudis.
I trust Bergen on the topic of CIA support for
bin Laden more than I trust you, but keep swinging the hammer.
Bergen has been in the Hindu Kush and met with
Osama, you have been at Bixby eating sweet corn.
Stick to topics that you know about instead of
just regurgitating left wing propaganda.
Joel
You might have me in that I short-cutted "money" for "money,
training, supplies and intelligence."
I'll plead guilty to the short cut and what if we let Robery Parry
settle it?
Link
Excerpt:
At the time, Pakistan was assisting the Reagan
administration's covert operation in Afghanistan,
which was considered a higher priority than stopping
the spread of nuclear weapons. In Afghanistan,
the CIA's operations division and the Pakistani
intelligence service were helping Islamic fundamentalists,
including Osama bin Laden, battle Soviet troops.
Comments?
Barry Bonds
committed perjury?
Link
Excerpt:
A federal grand jury is investigating whether
Bonds committed perjury when he testified in 2003
that he never used steroids. The panel has been
hearing evidence for more than a month
Lying about drugs?
That's bad, he's black and he's gotta be punished.
Lying about war that put 2350 soldiers in the ground?
That's OK because Bush knows what he's doing.
Comments?
http://projects.washingtonpost.com/fallen/
Big $$ Strike
Set for May 1
Don't spend any money on May 1.
Don't buy food, don't buy gas, don't go to a movie.
Prepare in advance, then keep your wallet closed that day.
This has never worked before, but I've never seen it discussed on TV
before,
and the Speaker of the CA House (?) is helping to lead the charge.
Take it
a Step Further
Link
Excerpt:
For the rest of this year, don't purchase any
gasoline from those Exxon bastards.
They're making $3B PROFIT a month. I think that's
gouging, don't you?
If they are not selling any gas, they will be
inclined to reduce their prices.
If they reduce their prices, the other gougers
will have to follow suit.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally
millions of people.
bartcop.com has dozens of readers.
Let's all do what we can to see if May 1 gets anybody's attention.
"What? Most of America is fed up with the Bush bastards?"
Comments?
Subject: posting e-mail addresses
Bart, why didn't you post Adam's email address
last issue?
Oh, right, he agrees with you about that poorly
written, poorly acted, improbably, piece of shit show, 24.
You only leak the email address of those who
challenge you, as retaliation, like the closet rethuglican you are.
You asswipe, are a torture-supporting, bad TV-watching,
hypocrite.
Athur
De Monkey
If someone disagrees, I'll print their letter.
But when someone screams,
"Are you fucking kidding me?
...piece of shit?
...you're dumber than dog shit,"
at me, they're not interested in having a conversation,
their just throwing their feces at everyone they see to get attention
so I print their address
so the other feces-throwing Monkeys can communicate with them and start
a club.
Call it a public service.
Comments?
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Subject: you're manipulated
The reason why open season has been declared on
Tom Cruise is because
he spoke out against big pharma. You forget we
live in a fascist dictatorship
and you can't speak out against the man or you
will be punished.
So unwittingly you are a tool of the the man Bart,
so lay off Tom.
Andy
Andy, unless you have a gun in your hand, I don't take orders very well.
Cruise also spoke out against psychiatry, saying people need to "just
snap out of it,"
if they're depressed or struggling to retain their sanity.
With or without his attacks on big pharma, Cruise has a diploma
from Loon University hanging on his office wall.
Comments?
Call
the all new, toll-free
1-800-530-2979
GOP
callers Welcome (snicker)
TV Stuff
Written late Sunday afternoon.
On last week's Sopranos, some of Vito's mob associates
found him in a gay bar,
dressed up in leather and dancing with another fella dressed the same
way.
They couldn't believe their eyes, and started calling him the usual
names.
Vito tried to excuse himself by saying, "It's
a joke," but they didn't buy it.
In the mob, being gay is being worse than being a woman.
Since nothing would stop the two from telling what they saw, Vito's
best chance was
to whack them before they had a chance to make any phone calls, but
he failed to do that.
When we last saw Vito, he'd checked himself into a hotel and was eyeing
his gun.
Since Tony is in therapy ( a big no-no, but not as big as being gay)
he might excuse Vito, but not the others. Will Vito survive
the night?
Comments
Mandy Moore's
"American Dreamz"
Link
Excerpt:
Mandy Moore is no teen idol any more; she's 21
and she knows where she's going. Where?
Straight to the top of the Hollywood heap, if
she keeps picking films like "American Dreamz
Comments
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Read the Previous
Issue
It had everything.
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