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http://home.earthlink.net/~ifness/ Bruce is selling his great toons at the  Marin County Fair this weekend and every day until the Fourth in San Rafael, CA Quote of the Day "What if we treated energy issues like     the left treats our national defense issues?    'We need to send our rigs to Okinawa!     Deploy the rigs to Okinawa!'"       -- Rush Limbaugh, in a syphilitic stupor, just back            from an "all boys trip" (his words)  with Viagra.

In Today's Tequila Treehouse... The Neocon Media Op. Clueless Negro  Spinning off the Rails Gutting New Orleans  Congress vs. Med Pot  Ending the Occupation  Our troops insane  Vegas Update  Ashlee Simpson nude?

Quotes

"The New York Times has now made it more difficult for us
   to prevent attacks in the future."
      -- Dick Cheney, (R-Liar)  Link
 

Cheney is warning every news outlet in America that, if you report
the crimes we're committing, you will be charged with treason and jailed.

         "What crimes Bart?  Dubya is the best president ever!"
 

  Comments?

The Neocon Battle for Media
  by Robert Parry as seen on  consortiumnews.com

 Link

 Excerpt:
The harsh right-wing attacks on the New York Times for publishing articles about the Bush administration's
secret monitoring of phone calls and financial transactions mark a new phase in the long neoconservative
battle to intimidate and dominate the U.S. news media. But the struggle has dangerous implications as well
for the future of the American Republic.
 

Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site in the Internet

 Comments?

Quotes

"Before 9-11, law enforcement could more easily obtain business and financial records
  of white-collar criminals than of suspected terrorists. See, part of the way to make sure
  that we catch terrorists is we chase money trails. "
        --the most crooked president in history Link
 

George, name one terrorist you've caught by looking into everybody's private business - can you?
And don't say the Miami 7 because homeless people have no financial records.
 

  Comments?

Operation Clueless Negro

 Link

Excerpt:
"Earlier today, a federal grand jury indicted seven Miami black men in an emerging plot to think about
 maybe someday getting around to committing acts of "homegrown terror." I want to congratulate my
 fellow Republican law enforcement colleagues, whose inspired plan to stage fake Al Qaeda initiation
 ceremonies (which include the "Hummus Bong" and "Glory To Allah Hole") made it possible to elevate
 some trash-talking losers, who were "more aspirational than operational," into the kind of hardcore
 evildoers who could totally wipe out our entire country."
 

 Comments?

Subject: Kuwaiti elections

Kuwaitis voted in parliamentary elections on Thursday with women running for office
and casting ballots for the first time in a national poll in the oil-producing Gulf Arab country.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/06/29/kuwait.elections.reut

Why are women just now able to vote?
Didn't our brave heroes "liberate" Kuwait over a decade ago??

 Wiseguy in Missouri
 

No, we didn't "liberate" Kuwait.
Bush the Smarter faked that war to make millions and get the Kuwaitis to owe him,
a debt they are paying right now by selling Der Monkey's ill-gotten oil reveneues.
 

 Comments?

Spinning off the rails

 Link

 Excerpt:
Prince George has failed in his quest.  The U.S. supreme court has ruled that his Gitmo Hitmo List
cannot be processed the way he wants. The prisoners (those "darned dangerous" guys according to Bush)
must be tried in a court (civilian or military) rather than by secret tribunal.

That's a significant body blow for the sweaty little mumbler.

  "I'm a sweaty mumbler..."

Especially significant after his immigration bill was defeated by his own Republicans and his
flag "desecration" legislation also failed to pass as an amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

There must be some widespread intention that an election be held in the U.S. this November after all.
Of course the cornered rat syndrome may still result in some classic bad shit inside America,
including suspending the election because of some homegroan threat like the "Miami 7".
 

Damn, that's some good writing.
 

 Comments?

Subject: Nicole Kidman's Catholic wedding

 Link
 

 Comments?

Gutting New Orleans

 Link

No Excerpt:
 

If you're having a bad day, read this to see how goddamn lucky you are.
 

 Comments?

Subject: My First trip to Vegas

Bart, This party is working out to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I have a request that may start a fight or two, I'm calling dibs on one of the TV's in The Crib.

Notre Dame Plays Michigan at 12:30pm local time) on the 16th.
Something else to gamble on, life is good.
(I was born and raised a Catholic boy in South Bend).

On the 16th of September I'll get to play poker, drink fine Tequila, eat way too much, watch a college
football game coming from my favorite stadium (Does anybody do a good Keith Jackson imitation?),
and finally meet the guy who has kept me sane for the last 8 years.
Add in some (unintelligible) and i will be a very contented man!

It's a been a long time coming but i think the Bartcop "Party of the Decade" will be the tipping point
that brings sanity back to the country.  It's that Important!
 Scott
 

Scott, I doubt we'll have the room at 12:30, but we might if nobody had it the night before.

But I have a suggestion: Bet on Michigan.
That was, either your team will win or you'll make some money :)
 

 Comments?

Nobody Gets Out Alive
 War end silently for one US soldier

 Link

 Excerpt:
Death comes often to the soldiers and marines who are fighting in Anbar Province, which is the most
intractable region in Iraq. Almost every day, an American soldier is killed somewhere in Anbar , by a sniper,
by a roadside bomb, or as with Sergeant Lisk, by a mortar shell. In the first 27 days of June, 27 soldiers and
marines were killed here. In small ways, the military tries to ensure that individual soldiers like Sergeant Lisk
are not forgotten in the plenitude of death.

One way is to say goodbye to the body of a fallen comrade as it leaves for the United States.
 

OK, nobody else will say it so I will.
Sergeant Lisk didn't see that sign of respect - he's dead.
The silent salute was a way to coax his fellow soldiers into thinking he died for something.

If we truly respected our soldiers, we wouldn't send them into a meat-grinder so the
Commander in Chief could make himself and his super-rich friends even richer.

The arms dealers and the bastards at the Carlyle Group will be making billions of dollars years
after Bush cuts and runs from Iraq. 60 Minutes says America need to replace 7,000 tanks and 
APCs - and guess who makes them?   Bush's Daddy and the Carlyle Thugs.
 

The GOP fat cats are raking in billions of dollars in blood-stained profits, 
while the dead soldier gets a silent salute?
 

 Comments?

Subject: Patsy Lee Harvey Oswald

 Link

 Excerpt:
Why in the wide, wide world of sports would Oswald pose for such a photo?
Even if he was planning to kill the president, why would he go into his backyard and have his wife
take a picture of him holding a (Communist) newspaper and the rifle he planned to use?
Why would he do that?

The answer is, he wouldn't have -- no matter whether he wanted to claim credit for the murder,
or especially if he wanted to get away with it.
 

 Comments?

Frist to Push Torture Bill
"Screw the Supreme Court - we love torture!"

 Link

Excerpt:
Frist said Thursday he would push legislation allowing Bush to use military tribunals
to prosecute those who were kidnapped and taken to Torture Island. 

"We should try terrorists only before military commissions, not in our civilian courts," said Frist, R-Schiavo.

"Congress should work with the president to update our laws..allow legal torture
to respond to the new threats of a post-9/11 world," he said.

 Comments?

Congress vs. Med Pot
 Only 144 Democrats voted against this witchhunt

 Link

 Excerpt:
State-authorized patients and their caregivers who use or possess medical cannabis will continue to be
subject to federal arrest and prosecution, after the Whore House rejected a proposed amendment that
sought to bar Bush's brownboots from targeting patients who legally use pot according to local laws.
 

But if someone in their family needs it, they'll change their minds?
Screw the millions who need it until *I* know someone who needs it.

 Comments?

The net's best advertising deal

Reach over twenty people per penny.

 advertise on  bartcop.com

Religious Insanity
 Oklahoma leads that nutty parade

 Link

 Excerpt:
One member of the jury spoke for many in the group by asking "What is an Atheist?" Edwin explained
that an Atheist was a person who did not believe in a god or gods or in a supernatural world, and that the 
defendant and his entire family were such persons. Many of the prospects said they could not believe such 
a person over a Christian and were struck for cause. To their credit, many members of the jury panel, including 
two ministers' wives, told the judge they could not be fair to an Atheist in such a situation and were excused.
 

I like that phrase, "the supernatural world."
It forces you to choose between science and "the supernatural," and it makes me wonder.
How can religion still exist in a modern world?

Would you get on a faith-based airplane?
Would you let a man who speaks to God but has no education operate on you?
Would you let a man who doesn't believe in logic do your taxes?

How can an intelligent person set science and logic aside to believe in ghosts?
It's just crazy - there's no better word for it.
To intentionally believe in that which isn't true is insanity, isn't it?

If I threw a baseball straight up into the air and told you it would never come down,
you'd call me a loon because science and logic tell you gravity is constant.

But people believe some Invisible Gost is always watching them?
And there's a Heaven to go to when you die?

Hello?
Don't we mock the religious handjobs and their 72 virgins?
Why is Muslin insanity any crazier than Christian insanity?

I realize, like every war we get into, I'm not going to win this one, either, but if you take away
child-like fear and ignorance, there's nothing else to make you believe in "the supernatural."

We're losing out government to people who aren't concerned about the planet's future because
they "know" Jesus is coming on a cloud to take us to some "happy place" they call Heaven.
 

By the way, I'm selling pennies for the unbelievable price of just $100 each.
If science and logic are things to ignore, please paypal your hundred to me now.

Oh, and there's more to that story:

Don't worry, foreigners who read this, in the United States we ship all of our really stupid people to Oklahoma,
so this story isn't at all representative of what you'd discover in Iowa or Alabama or Pennsylvania.
 

ha ha
He's lying.

Most of America is insane.
What is the figure - 92 percent of Americans believe in the Invisible Cloud Being?
 

 Comments?

Ending the Occupation
   by Joe Conason

 Link

 Excerpt:
Among the ill-conceived schemes originally contemplated by our ill-advised leaders was the installation of
exile Ahmed Chalabi as Baghdad's strongman. That dubious daydream had to be abandoned, along with the
flower-strewn parades and the reimbursement of our expenses with oil revenues. What we got instead was
suicide bombings, an intractable insurgency, an ethnic civil war and a government allied with Iran.

While the Bush administration has no plan, the government of Iraq seems to be considering a negotiated peace.
Iraqi officials have been talking with representatives of the Sunni rebels, in the hope of convincing them to lay
down their weapons and engage in democratic politics.
 

 Comments?

Subject: that's crazy talk

 Link

 Excerpt:
Attempting to extrapolate your meaning in a blow off to a monkey, it looks like you're saying that
Kos is an extreme lefty site, determined to find the worst possible candidate so that Republicans will win.
 

That's nowhere near what I was saying.
I don't want to beat up on Kos because he might get hurt and people would blame me.
 

  Comments?

Subject: their one percent doctrine

Well if that's the way we plan on conducting our foreign policy from now on, then Dick
shouldn't have any problem with the fact that we need to start combating Global Warming immediately.

There has to be at least a one percent chance that Global Warming could cause the catastrophic changes
that Al Gore states in his movie, "An Inconvenient Truth". And it will certainly effect our standing globally,
how we push forward from a foreign policy standpoint and how we protect ourselves from the huge influx
of refugees that will be coming at the United States from all angles.

Hell I can't believe he hasn't started on a plan already.
 Helldog
 

 Comments?

Subject: Party in Vegas

Hey Bart,

Did you know that Sept 16, your big tequilafest, is Mexican Independence Day?
Was that planned or ironic?
I'll try to drag Kevin (picture in last issue) along if I can make it.

Hope to see you there,
 Dave S
 

Dave, ...sure, ...I knew that.
I'm sharper than Ann Coulter's Adam's apple - nothing gets past me (cough)
 

 Comments?

                          Thanks to Anne

Send in a picture of you in your WPE t-shirt!

 Here's my picture, Bart!
 

   Click

Official WPE t-shirts!!

Now available in red. ...if you ask for it,
otherwise default color will be black

...

Get Your WPE Shirt

We have men's and women's shirts in S, M, L, XL and XXL.
They're free with a mere $20 Donation plus $3
(shipping and handling) for a total of $23.   (Outside the United States, add extra postage)

PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

Tell us what size

or send a check to

bartcop.com
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK  74155

Robert Plant vs the BFEE

 Link

 Excerpt:
Freedom fries and burns and scars
The liberator goes too far
Freedom fries and screams and yells
The promised land is promised hell
 
 

Plant was on PBS's Soundstage last night, and he was better than I expected.
Next Thursday (at least in K-Drag) Shirley ? Garbage perform.

 Comments?

Subject: the wisdom of children

Bart, I live in rural Georgia near the Alabama state line.
Your page has helped keep me sane in spite of my surroundings.

As a parent I'm concerned about the influence this excessively conservative culture
will have on my children. But recently something happened to calm my fears.

My 4 year old son had a bruise on his forehead.
Turns out his older sister slammed him in the head with a toy alligator.

I checked him for signs of concussion. I asked him his name and he said "Nate."
I held up three fingers and asked him how many he saw.  "Three" he replied.

He seemed fine so I decided to mess with him a little. I asked him the president's name.
He looked at me for a minute and then cheerfully blurted out "Big Dummy!"

I must be doing something right.
 Brian in GA
 

 Comments

Bart's Bad Timing

While they last, you can get three recent shows for just $9.

You might get BCR Show 83, 87 and 90 for the low, low price of just #9
and half of that goes to postage because we send the BCR CDs out Priority Mail.

Click here 

Total of six CDs for nine dollars?
That's unheard of!
 

 Comments

Our troops insane

 Link

 Excerpt:
Five U.S. Army soldiers are being investigated for allegedly raping a young woman,
then killing her and three members of her family in Iraq, the U.S. military said Friday.
The soldiers also allegedly burned the body of the woman

The killings appeared to have been a "crime of opportunity," the official said.
The soldiers had not been attacked by insurgents but had noticed the woman on previous patrols.
 

So, some horny soldiers saw a girl they wanted to rape so they did?
Then they killed her and her family?

It keeps getting worse and worse...
 

Bush's occupation makes me sick.

 Comments

Subject: WPE shirts worldwide

We ship everywhere.
Contact your local Post Office and tell them the package from America
weighs less than a pound, then add their cost to the $23 and we'll ship that right out.
 

 Comments

  I pulled the trigger on the upgrade

Party in Vegas!

So if you're not already in, hurry and sign up today.

We still have room for a few more Democrats!
We want to avoid saying, "Sorry, we're all sold out!"
 

Things to do in Vegas in 2002   that don't involve alcohol, gambling, drugs or sex. 
 

Rules:
This is a "No kids" party. Must be 21 to enter the Fantasy Suites. 
Don't show up falling down drunk. It's OK to get happy at the party but if you're as drunk 
   as Britney (she may have had this room the night she got married) you need a nap.
Of course, bring your camera to Vegas, but not the party.
   Remember that scene in The Godfather when they try to take Richard Conte's picture?
   It'll be like that - minus the distainful dropping of bills afterwards.
We'll use the same elevator as The Ghost Bar, so Palms Security will screen you.
   They'll have a list with all eligible guests - just tell them you're with the "bartcop" party. 
   Don't say "Party of the Decade" because every night is Vegas is like that.
 

You'll never forget the Party of the Decade

Sign up today.

  Comments?

Ashlee Simpson says No to Playboy
 Hef offers $4M to see her naked

 Link
 

  Comments

Thanks to bartcop.com  subscribers.
We know you work hard for your money, so we take it as
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Shirley Quotes

"The expectations on a woman drive you crazy.
  If Jennifer Lopez could write songs like Fiona Apple's,
  she wouldn't have to spend so many hours at the gym."
     - Shirley Manson,   Link
 

Garbage TV Alert
The sepentine Shirley Manson commands attention as she leads Garbage
thru a set of their electronica-tinged rock which mixes early hits as well as
cuts from the quintet's latest CD, Bleed Like Me on PBS's Soundstage

Check Local Listings around July 4-8th
 

...

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