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Reminder: We can't lose
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Weekend-Monday June 28-30, 2008 Vol 2170 - Corn Coma
 Quote of the Day "She rocks. She rocks. That's the
They say the two of them sure looked
|
In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
|
It pays to advertise on bartcop.com
Still at 2006 prices
Quotes
"With the cave-in on FISA by the majority of
Dems and Obama, I no longer wish to be
associated with a party I believe has succumbed
to the impulse to behave like cowards
instead of defending my Bill of Rights.
I will leave my ballot blank where the choices
range from lukewarm to full-stink bullshit.
If you don't like my choice, spare us both
any grief and go read someone you prefer."
-- Kevin Hayden, on why he'd rather have President McCain,
Link
This guy is acting like a kid who dropped his ice cream cone in
dog poop.
I don't like Obama's flip-flops either, but he's trying to
win.
Isn't that what we asked him to do?
Some on the Left want an idealogically pure loser and I'm tired
of those.
Some on the Left will call Obama "Cheney-light" but that's as
crazy as
saying Senator Clinton would've been "more of the same."
But America is so tired of the Bush bastards, I don't think the
Lefties,
as hard as they'll try, can prevent Obama from winning in November.
Anyone who organizes a "Don't vote for
Obama" campaign might as well
buy some kneepads and go to http://www.johnmccain.com/
and sign up.
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It Was Oil,
All Along
by Bill Moyers
Excerpt:
Oh, no, they told us, Iraq isn't a war about
oil. That's cynical and simplistic, they said.
It's about terror and al Qaeda and toppling a
dictator and spreading democracy and protecting
ourselves from WMDs. But one by one, these concocted
rationales went up in smoke, fire, and ashes.
And now the bottom line turns out to be....the
bottom line. It is about oil.
Duh!?!
Alan Greenspan said so last fall. That bastard,
safely out of office, confessed in his memoir,
"...Everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about
oil." Remember, also, Paul Wolfowitz told the press
that war was our only strategic choice. "...We
had virtually no economic options with Iraq," he explained,
"because the country floats on a sea of oil."
Shades of Daniel Plainview from There Will
Be Blood. Half-mad, he exclaims,
"There's a whole ocean of oil under our feet
and no one can get at it except for me!"
No wonder American troops only guarded the Ministries
of Oil and the Interior in Baghdad,
even as looters pillaged museums of their priceless
antiquities. They were making sure no one
could get at the oil except... guess who?
So, in mid-2008, Bill Moyers has figured out this was about oil?
This country would be much smarter if they read bartcop.com
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Subject: Israel wants Bush to Attack Iran
Just as McCain's top adviser announced that terrorism
is good for McCain we now hear
that Israel is trying to prod Bush into attacking
Iran, I think if Israel wants a war it should
fight it's own battles. We are not the puppets
of the Israelis.
It's just one of those "my God is stronger than
your God" religious wars.
There are better solutions to resolving problems
than attacking.
We should use the vocabulary of peace and not
the vocabulary of war.
Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Quotes
"The Right will vote against Obama in droves
with or without Hillary.
No one will be a more effective attack dog
against McCain and the Right than Hillary.
She can take the heat and defend you (something
you are increasingly forced to do yourself).
Every attack on McCain by Clinton will get
wide coverage. No one has had more experience
than Hillary on taking the Right to the wood
shed and beating them to a pulp."
--
Bob Beckel on why Obama could use a knife-fighter this fall,
Link
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Quotes
"Thanks for standing together and not doing
a damn thing to stop the FISA 'compromise.'
This unity stuff is totally awesome, and I
for one can't wait to see what the Democrats
cave on next. At least my pre-Iowa support
of Chris Dodd appears to have been justified."
--
Jeff Fecke, Link
Jeff, your Dodd support is justified IF
he filibusters FISA.
If he votes against it and it passes, he's no better than those
who voted for it.
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Can you guess the country?
We set a modern-day record for most replies.
I didn't count, but I'll guess less than 200 people wrote in and
2/3 of them got the right answer - Dubai, United Arab Emerites.
Think how rich these oil robber
barons were
before Bush tripled their daily income?
BTW, that fog's not natural.
The king's a big Tony Bennet fan
so he built giant fog machines so he
can pretend he's in San Francisco.
Subject: 'I'm ready to let Russert go...'
Bart, I'm ready to let Russert go too, but
every day one of America's
finest journalists mentions what a saint
he was, and I want to puke.
As I recall, the last winner of Media Whores
Online's "Whore of the Year" award was little Timmeh.
Damnit, I miss The Horse. It was the most
important site on the net way back when.
And, it also directed me to the Tequila
Treehouse.
Keep up the good work.
Dan L
The weird thing - the Horse never even said "Goodbye."
I could be wrong, but I think I remember them saying,
"We're taking a break, see you in 60
days" but that return failed to occur.
I remember how jealous I was, because Carville and Begala couldn't
hardly
go a day on Crossfire without mentioning them, and Joe
Conason mentioned then
so often Tucker Carlson wrongly accused Conason of BEING
The Horse.
Meanwhile, bartcop.com never got a mention
- ever. (Bart wipes a tear)
We know the Horse is OK, they haven't been hit by a peach truck
or anything,
but I guess they chose to just fade into the night. That's
our bad luck.
We could use The Horse in the coming battle against the modern Fascist
dogs.
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Used with permission
The Crap
I Spew
by Maureen the Whore
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Subject: The real Obama?
Bartcop,
Obama will win one of two ways: either his tilt
to the center (FISA, guns, you name it, he's doing it now)
gets him and his political skill over the
hump, or the right (flag town, tanned version of Kerry, who knows
what to come but it's big and ugly American,
etc.) pisses enough (decent hard working folk type) people off
to just stay home election day.
We'd all like him to be a saint, pure and principled.
He isn't.
Hillary wasn't either, and to her credit, she
made this clear early on, say like fall 2002 / spring 2003.
It hurt her in the primary campaign, obviously.
The question is, were Obama's "principles"
principles
or a doomed strategy to get elected? He had
better pick it up.
John Bass
The idealistic, star-struck kids are most shocked to find out Obama
is
a politician - a good one.
After blasting Hillary for being "more of the same," he's moving to
the right to get more votes.
Hillary's war vote is what killed her - the Left refused to forgive
her, but now they gotta find
a way to forgive Obama as he shifts to the right to vote with the GOP
and it's confusing them.
Had the young and the naive trusted Ol' Bart, this crash would be easier
on them.
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Random Thought...
Can you believe the whore networks refused to mention this story?
Can Bush
legally order someone to be buried alive?
The Bush bastards say - in effect - that Bush can bury someone
alive - legally.
They also refused to deny that America tortures children in
front of their parents
in order to obtain information that they couldn't get any other
way.
So, of course you can believe the whore networks refused to mention
these stories
because their job has always been to cover for the Bush bastards
and hunt down
Democrats with possible girlfriends.
The whore media agrees with the GOP that
getting a blowjob is worse than killing 4100 soldiers.
That's just too f-ing crazy to understand.
I'll bet if you polled the 4,100 widows they'd disagree.
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Subject: War with Iran and Price of Gas
For those who think we should start yet another
war with Iran you better be
prepared to pay over $10 a gallon for gas, and
that's if you can get gas at all.
Bad decisions result in bad consequences. America
is on the verge of collapse
and yet another useless war would more likely
break us, not them.
Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA
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Preparing
the Battlefield
by Seymour Hersh
Excerpt:
Secretary of Defense Gates met with the Democratic
caucus in the Senate. ... Gates warned
of the consequences if the Bush bastards staged
a preëmptive strike on Iran, saying,
"We'll create generations of jihadists, and our
grandchildren will be battling our enemies here in America."
Gates's comments stunned the Democrats at the
lunch, and another senator asked whether Gates
was speaking for Bush and The Dick. Gates's
answer was "Let's just say that I'm here speaking for myself."
So if they order an attack - are you going to
resign? Or will you be Bush's puppet like that
sell-out whore Colin Powell and help those Bush
bastards kill thousands of innocent Iranians?
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Subject: I'm headed for New Orleans
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Quotes
"Women get dazzled over diamonds, they really
do.
They like diamonds like I like my hi-def
TV."
-- Der vulgar Pigboy, trying
to make sense
Rush, with all your hundreds of millions
of dollars,
you still can't bribe a woman to
be your wife so yeah,
you're out of the diamond business forever.
By the way Rush, you've had sex with women, men, children and
goats.
Which of your victims fought you the hardest?
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Tired of the GOP winning?
Support those who are fighting back.
Anything will help $5, $10 $25 or more!
OR send a 'love' check to
bartcop.com
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
The checked the Bartcop Mailbox over the weekend
and a tumbleweed fell out when I opened it.
Subject: Meeting Robert Plant
Hi,
I read your "Meeting Robert Plant " story and
damn, I was impressed.
WOW!!
Viper 227
Viper, thanks for that.
It's been a while since I'd thought about that.
I wonder if anyone else would care to read it?
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Obama needs a Popemobile
Excerpt:
Obama's choice for Vice President is vital to
winning the White House. In a letter to Obama,
I advised him that he should travel sometimes
in his own "Popemobile," given the volatile hostilities
existing in parts of the USA, the same kind of
insane bigots who killed Martin Luther King
like those who killed both Kennedys. These concerns
can never be ignored. So far, the Secret
Service appears to be doing a good job protecting
our first African-American Presidential nominee.
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Shopping online?
Use this Amazon
portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
four cents from each
dollar.
Subject: Catholic Logic
Dear Bart,
Messianic cults of different Protestant denominations
flourish in the South West like peyote,
and many of them "rear" children in more than
one way.
However, I don't see you calling faulty arguments
"Protestant logic",
or disingenuous mathematical calculations "Protestant
math".
Why are Catholics so special to deserve your barbs?
Is it the central management?
Gonzalo
Gonzako, mostly, it's geography.
I was born a Catholic and I was imprisoned against
my will for 12 years.
I knew it was bullshit real early, maybe second grade, but I couldn't
break out
until I was old enough to handle money. Now that I'm out, I do
what I can to help
the not-as-lucky-as-me break free from their "Voodoo,
not logic" mental prisons.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Roberts the right-wing perjurer
Excerpt:
With his third term as chief justice coming to
a close, John Roberts has proved to be almost everything
conservatives hoped and liberals feared.
Despite pledges during his 2005 confirmation hearing to hew
to judicial centrism, Roberts has shown himself
to be a reliable member of the Supreme Court's right wing
This is at odds with the non-ideological face he presented after his nomination.
"I come before this committee with no agenda,
no platform," Roberts said under oath in 2005.
"I will approach every case with an open mind."
Roberts branded himself then a judicial "umpire"
who called the balls and strikes as he saw them,
without reference to ideology.
And what did Bush's rubber stamp say when he had a chance to block this Scalia-wannabe?
"Hi, I'm
Patrick, Bush's rubber-stamp."
His idiotic remarks go down with some of history's worst.
When we get rid of Pelosi and Reid, can we lose Leahy, too?
He's a scared little baby dove in a time when we need some gutsy
knife-fighters.
Nobody caves in quicker than
Pat Leahy, and he's our finger-in-the-dike?
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Marty's
Entertainment Page
always
has good stuff.
Click on the E!
Random Thought...
I think Don Imus is a unfunny old bastard - but he got hosed on this 'Pacman' thing.
The lazy whore media thought they had an easy layup here and you
f-ing knew
they were lying because they refused to play the tape
of the words he used.
Instead, they semi-told you - using their own whore/slanted words
- what he said
and they did that because hearing his own words wouldn't lead
you to the conclusion
that they wanted you to draw so they sexed up the evidence and
that's no good..
Somebody on Air America played the tape. One
of Imus's paid gigglers said,
"Pacman Jones has been arrested six times
since he turned pro." and Imus said,
"And what color is he?" and the
gigglers answered "Black." and Imus
replied,
"Oh, no wonder," which I took to
mean "The cops always arrest blacks."
Like I said, Don Imus is a unfunny sack-of shit, but that's no
reason for our whore media
to fabricate untrue charges against him, the old Howard Stern-wannabe.
He should be arrested for impersonating a clever human being,
and I don't listen to him
and I get that he hates Hillary's f-ing guts, but there's no
good reason for America's
sensationalistic, blood-thirsty whore media to attack some talentless
asshole unfairly.
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Subject: on the issue of FISA,
Obama screwed up big-time.
A huge amount of this guy's appeal was that he
was a completely atypical politician in so many ways,
which America needed to correct Bush's excessive
wrongs and set the country back on a proper path.
I fell for the act for a little while myself,
and a lot of people I know absolutely did as well. His associations
with people like Wright, which clearly hurt him
among the mainstream, to the "true believers" actually gave
him some "cred," making it seem that, even if
he rejected aspects of Wright's analysis, he was driven by a
deep outrage at the injustices of the system.
This FISA compromise seems to lift the veil completely on
Obama as a true "transformative agent of change"
and reveal him as just another corporate elite pawn,
albeit one backed by different and less destructive
factions than those backing McCain.
Obama could still win, but only because the economy
is collapsing outright and for any Republican to win
under such circumstances would be an extreme
historical anomaly. But this sort of "compromising"
absolutely will dampen enthusiasm for Obama among
the grassroots left, and probably will prevent any
sort of game-changing gigantic youth vote turnout,
which if it had materialized likely would have sealed
the deal in most swing states.
"Running to the center" makes sense in a lot of
cases, but absolutely not on the creepy fascist surveillance
state stuff. I doubt he gained a single vote
by caving in on this, and I'm sure he lost more than a few.
-SC
I know Democrats hate when I say this - but what if he voted that way to win the White House?
Had he voted against the VISA bill, McCain would've said,
"This radical Muslim
voted to help the terrorists attack America
because he's a radical Muslim."
Like Hillary's "vore for war," this vote changed nothing but
it allowed him
to innoculate himself against the GOP's phoney "he loves the
terrorists" charge.
I'm just throwing some speculation out there...
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Quotes
"I'm the underdog. I'm behind.
I've got to catch up and get ahead.
And I expect to do that about 48 hours
before the general election."
-- Grandpa John McCain, campaigning in Ohio,
Link
Shit-for-Brains stole Florida in 2000 with the help of the GOP
Sec of State.
Then he stole Ohio in 2004 with the help of the GOP Sec
of State.
Why do we allow the local GOP campaign managers to certify the
winners?
Fucking boxing is less crooked than that.
As crooked as Don King is, he doesn't let Tyson's manager judge
the fight,
so what's wrong with our idiot Democrats that they let
the crooked bastards
install their own judge to certify the stolen election?
"We serve at the pleasure of our war hero President!"
Sidebar:
A fella wrote and said I was being too nice to sellouts Pelosi
and Reid.
He said he'd send me a bottle of "the good hooch" if I could
commission
a graphic that was "more humiliating" than the above pink tutu
graphic.
This was a cunundrum because, after all, this is a family publication,
so my good friend and excellent toonist "Got your back"
G-Kerry sent this.
and I think the caption should be,
"When the President tells us to kiss his ass,
we always ask, 'One cheek, George,
or Two?' "
I will now scour my incoming mail to see if the good hooch is
headed this way.
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Subject: Obama angers his base
Wait until Obama has to throw "gay marriage" under
the bus
due to the California referendum !
HK
Rumor has it that gay marriage is no longer an issue.
Of course, the smart move would be to play it safe...
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We had the best time.
Tom and Beatnik Bob showed up at Casa de Bart Friday
- bearing Chinaco Anejo tequila.
We enjoyed a small Tequilafest and various puffery until the sun went
down.
Then we retired to the back porch to enjoy Mrs Bart's bubbler (water
fountain thingy)
while I fired up the Bart-Grill for the extra succulent (and king sized)
chicken breasts.
We continued to enjoy the Tequila and herbs while watching some Del
Castillo live on DVD
This time, it was the soundtrack from Kill
Bill II (special features)
BTW, how often do we have company at Casa de Bart?
Put it this way - we've lived here 3.5 years and never ate at the table
before.
To quote Frank, "We did it until we were unconcho,"
but not really because
we had a big day scheduled for Cornfest Saturday so we were up with
the sun.
We started Saturday with ceremonial puffery and a half shot of some
Don Julio.
Then we headed to Conrad Farms in Bixby to buy the just harvested corn
of which
they had variety. Tom loaded up with five different
kinds of hour-old sweet Bixby corn.
After that, we drove to the cheapest liquor store in America so Tom
could
stock up on mass quantities of uber-fine luxury tequila at prices up
to 40% off.
Don Julio 1942 was priced at $129
in Chicago,
Tom saw the $74
price and bought three.
Hell, liquor is so cheap here, the rip-off places sell it for $85
From there we returned to Casa de Bart for more sipping
and herbs
but it started to rain so our actual Corn Fest got way-layed, so we
went to
Savastano's Pizza in Bixby and ate Italian food like
we were in Chicago.
We had a great time and hell, we doubled last year's attendence :)
On the way back to Michigan, Tom stopped to see Chicago Jim.
Note from Chicago Jim:
Tom stopped by and I now have some serious Bodacious,
Merit, Silver King,
Incredible and
Precious Gem sweet corn that we'll cooking it the grill tonight.
We can't wait!
I like the bi-colored Precious Gem the most, followed by
the all-white Sugar Pearl, which they had on Friday but not
Saturday.
Starting tomorrow, they'll have this corn by the bushel, about 60 ears
for $20
Why else would someone live in Tulsa? Dirt-cheap
luxury tequila and fresh,
super-juicy (because of all the rain) corn on the cob - damn.
Craig &
Vitter sponsor "Marriage Amendment"
Sounds like a gag by Jon Stewart, but
it's true
Excerpt:
Larry Craig and David Vitter - "both implicated
in extramarital sexual activity" - are co-sponsors of
S.J. Res. 43, (I kid you not) the Marriage Protection
Amendment. If passed, the bill would amend
the Constitution to declare that marriage "shall
consist only of the union of a man and a woman."
But, ...but, ...Craig likes to blow dudes in airports and Vitter's into kinky foot sex with hookers.
Who are they trying to fool?
Oh, that's right - the super-stupid voters, so
I guess they'll get away with this.
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They read it in Vienna, Wien, Austria
They read it in Palatka, Florida
They read it in Amersfoort, Utrecht, Netherlands
They read it in Huachuca City, Arizona
They read it in Hartlepool, UK
If you have a business that ships
worldwide,
(t-shirts, stickers, hats etc) you should be advertising
on bartcop.com
Why just sell to America when you can sell to the world?
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featuring
We have tons of great 'toons on the Bart Blog!
You like 'toons?
Quotes
"America is so addicted to oil that it will
take years to ween ourselves from it.
To look for new ways to feed our addiction
is not the answer. Anyone who tells you
this would bring down gas prices anytime soon
is blowing smoke."
-- Cali Governor Musclehead calling
McCain a damn liar, Link
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Subject: donating to your site
Hey Bart, I wish I could start donating to your
site again,
but Exxon needs my money more then you, apparently.
I disagree with you about 10-20% of time, but
then again I think for myself.
I appreciate an opposing point of view from time
to time and I get that from you.
But I also get useful links and funny comments
to help form my opinion
on some issues and bolster my argument on others.
You've never said anything I get wildly upset
about (and I really don't
understand those that do), so I'm still a big
fan.
Thanks!
Keith
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Les Paul
at the Pabst
He & Uncle Lou went 740 miles West
Excerpt:
Les Paul was back in town over the weekend for
the opening of Discovery World's
new Les Paul's House of Sound exhibit and a benefit
concert at the Pabst Theater.
For the occasion, the Pabst was transformed into
a working facsimile of the Iridium,
with fans seated at tables up on stage and circulating
waitresses serving drinks.
Saturday's show included two sets spread over
three hours. Ninety-three-year-old guitarists
with badly arthritic hands are entitled to pick
their spots, and Paul understandably does so.
He can still wow them. It might be a beautifully
improvised line on "Over the Rainbow" or
an octave shift on "Tennessee Waltz," but every
now and then, there's a flash of the old form.
Of course, there's more than just music at play
here. This was an opportunity to share oxygen
with a beloved legend whose vision and innovation
have rippled through modern music for 70 years.
A special shout out to Uncle Lou's nephew Greg for getting us front-row
seats
at The Iridium Club and autographs from Uncle Lou and the great Les
Paul.
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Iraq
pumped
3.5M
barrels daily before
Bush invaded
and then they got their 2003 Halliburton
upgrade,
their 2004
Halliburton upgrade,
their 2005
Halliburton upgrade,
their 2006
Halliburton upgrade,
their 2007
Halliburton upgrade,
their 2008
Halliburton upgrade
Bush is stealing up to 6 million barrels of
oil per day.
Since oil sells for $130 or more per barrel,
Bush is stealing $780,000,000
every
day.
No wonder they were so eager to start
a war,
It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.
but now...
4,113 brave men and women are gone.
Do you think Bush understands
that these are real people ?
Remember...
Iraq's
oil wells have NO
METERS!
That's 3/4
of $1B that
goes missing
every day!
Where's that money going?
Subject: Donation
Bart,
Keep swinging that hammer!
John in WI
bartcop.com
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
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Jolie has
big box office
Review of her new movie tomorrow
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