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Weekend-Monday May 9-11, 2009 Vol 2332 - Stress Clinic
 Quote of the Day "Mother's Day is a tough holiday for Rahm Emanuel
If you don't get it, Emanuel is always,
|
In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
|
In THE THIN WHITE LINE, author Craig DiLouie presents
a terrifying vision about how
a pandemic might unfold, focusing on the Canadian
experience but relevant to any country.
Reading as if it were a non-fiction book describing
a pandemic that has already happened,
THE THIN WHITE LINE presents a realistic, meticulously
researched scenario.
"Craig DiLouie provides us with a clairvoyant
glimpse of life during the coming influenza pandemic. . . ."
—Grattan Woodson, MD, FACP
author of THE BIRD FLU MANUAL
Quotes
"If you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two
bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Osama bin Laden,
there’s a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would
get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden
would be strangled to death."
--David Feherty, golf commentator for CBS, Link
Does this guy still have a job?
Much as I dislike Pelosi and Reid I don't want them dead.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Cheney:
More Pigboy, Less Powell
...after Powell helped them kill all those soldiers
Excerpt:
Cheney said Sunday he preferred the vulgar Pigboy's
brand of conservatism to Colin Powell's.
"Well, if I had to choose in terms of being a
Republican, I'd go with Rush Limbaugh," Cheney said on "Face the Whore."
"My take on it was Colin had already left the
party. I didn't know he was still a Republican," Cheney lied.
Cheney said he "assumed" Powell's support of Obama
over McCain was "an indication of his loyalty and his interest."
This just keeps getting better and better.
Yes, throw out all the moderates and just keep the Pigboys, the Coulters
and the Savages.
Anyone who's not in lickstep with Captain Oink needs to leave the party
and leave it now.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Subject: Del Castillo in Culli-fornya
Dude, I saw on your site today that Del Castillo will be playing 6 shows in Cal.
I looked it up and the 4th show at The Knitting
Factory is right around the corner from where I live.
Seriously it's like 200 Yards away, so I'll see
them for sure..
So when you putting Whalefest back on?
Talk to you soon
Rick the
Hollywood Liberal
The whole world is broke right now.
Maybe we'll try a fest once Obama fixes the Bush
disaster.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
GOP in the Obama Era
Excerpt:
Could the Republican Party have gotten off to
a rougher start in the Obama era? It's hard to think so.
Even with Bush and Cheney gone, the GOP finds
its favorability ratings at or near all-time lows.
Despite their enthusiasm for their unified opposition
to Obama, they're blamed more for the lack of
bipartisanship in DC. While starting out with
all the advantages in NY-20, they still found a way to lose that race.
Despite the initial positive reaction to his
victory as RNC chair, Michael Steele's reign has been, shall we say,
not good. And holding on to 41 votes in the Senate,
they enabled a Republican who proved he could win in
the increasingly blue state of Pennsylvania to
switch parties, giving Dems the prospect of a filibuster-proof majority.
I love running stories about how fuct the GOP
is.
But you and I know our Democrats - we're one
big screw-up away from being tied again.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Erik has been advertising on bartcom.com since 2002.
Quotes
"For Notre Dame to give Obama an honorary degree
would be like
Howard University giving David Duke
a degree in racial politics."
-- Bill Donohue, President of the Catholic League, proving what a right-wing
dick he can be, Link
What
can't the Catholics just be honest and come out and say,
"We hate
liberals and we love war, torture and George W Bush?"
But then, how stupid am I to ask why Catholics can't be honest?
...and they wonder why people are leaving
them by the millions.
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We're on Twitter
Look for bartcop
Note: If you sign up with us
you'll get a Twitter message
when that day's page goes up.
Quotes
"The White House is rewriting legal contracts,
picking winners (mostly labor unions and
mortgage defaulters) and singling out
losers (evil 'speculators'), while much of the media
continue to ponder whether Obama is
already a greater president than FDR."
-- Jonah Goldberg, still angry that LBJ is his dad,
Link
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Subject: Carrie Prejean!
OK Bart!
Get off Carrie's ass about her T&A
shots.
It ain't got shit to do with her stand on gay
marriage.
She looks great.
She needs to on your Hottie Page
:-)
Paris
When the better-than-you types drop their pants, I punish them.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Dems fighting Obama again
Excerpt:
The $17 billion in planned budget cuts that Obama
announced on Thursday isn't all that much money,
but congressional Democrats are already pushing
back, hard, against the proposals, and they seem likely to succeed, at
least in part...
The Washington Post reports that the fight has
already begun. Dianne Feinstein, for instance, wants the money from
one of the biggest cuts -- $400 million that
helps states with the cost of detaining illegal immigrants -- restored.
Rep. Maurice Hinchey, D-N.Y., is opposing one
of the most high-profile of the cuts, the decision not to take delivery
on a new presidential helicopter, which the president
has rejected and which cost over $800 million last year.
Of course, it also provides hundreds of jobs
in Hinchey's district.
When the other football team fails to show up, count on the Democrats to tackle their own quarterback.
I should be used to it by now, but it's never easy watching them stab their own president in the back.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Quotes
"Remember, it was the base that rejected Mitt
because of his switch on pro-life, from pro-choice to pro-life.
It was the base that rejected Mitt
because it had issues with Mormonism. It was the base that rejected Mitt
because
they thought he was back and forth
and waffling on economic issues. Before we even had a primary vote,
the base had
made very clear they had issues with
Mitt because if they didn’t, he would have defeated McCain in the primaries."
-- Michael Tom Steele, attacking a probable 2010
GOP front-runner, Link
Michael Tom Steele is a one-man quote machine.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Subject: OMG - Democrats agree with Cheney
Last Sunday former Vice President Cheney said
that he would choose Rush Limbaugh over Colin Powell
when it comes to the future vision of the Republican
Party. Bush and Cheney did such a good job of destroying
the Republican Party that as a Democrat I have
encourage Republicans to listen to Cheney. In a party where
failure is considered to be the new success,
I wish Cheney all the success he deserves.
Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.
Founder of the Church of Reality
http://www.churchofreality.org
"Reality changed my life. It can change you
life too!"
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Still the best advertising bargain on the Net
Banner ads by the day,
by the week,
or by the month
Subject: Torture
If waterboarding isn't torture, than why
do it?
Wil B
Good point.
Another favorite lie is the "walling" of a victim.
They say they throw the poor bastard against a wall - but not too hard.
And it's not a real wall, it's a padded, fall-away wall that gives
when slammed into.
Well then why the fuck bother with it?
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Quotes
"Throw the social conservatives the pro-life,
pro-family people overboard and the
Republican party will be as irrelevant
as the Whigs. That will be the end of the party."
-- Mike Huckabee, doing his best to make 80 Democratic senators,
Link
Hey Stupid, nobody suggested you dump the Fascist dog wing of
the Republican party.
They suggested you stop peeing on the semi-normal 2/3 of your
party.
But please, keep saying shit like that.
We love it when you chase people away.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Alan Keyes,
Stuck in Jail
Some days the good news never stops
Excerpt:
Perennial handjob Alan Keyes was arrested during
a protest on Notre Dame's campus. He was protesting the
university's decision to invite Obama to speak
at its commencement, and to award him an honorary degree...
But the politician and former presidential candidatet
had come to Notre Dame specifically to be arrested,
something he announced in a letter he'd written
and released beforehand...
If that letter Keyes sent...is any indication,
he's probably not going to post bond. In it, he announces,
"I will go to South Bend. I will step foot on
the Notre Dame campus to lift up the standard that protects the life
of the innocent children of this and every generation.
I will do it all day and every day from now until the Master
comes if need be, though it mean I shall be housed
every day in the prison house of lies and injustice that Obama,
Jenkins and their minions now mean to construct
for those who will never be still and silent in the face of their
mockery of God and justice, their celebration
of evil."
The letter reads as if Keyes meant it to be received
as the successor to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr's
"Letter from Birmingham Jail." Ultimately, though,
he turns it into something far more reminiscent of Mel Gibson's
"The Passion of the Christ," full of pain and
blood."
Quotes
"What bothers me about Keyes and his ilk is
that while abortion is wrong, for them, war and
capital punishment are just A-OK.
I'd have a sliver of respect for this man if he'd seen fit to
protest the unjust war of Iraq or the many
state-sanctioned deaths in prisons across this country. "
-- Dr. Zachary Smith,, Link
Hey, isn't Dr Zachary Smith the old dude in Lost in Space?
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Words Designed to Kill Health Care Reform
Excerpt:
I was shocked when I read a memo from Republican
pollster Frank Luntz laying out plans to dismantle
any effort to give all Americans access to quality
health care. Luntz, the handjob who developed language
designed to promote preemptive war in Iraq and
distract from the severity of global warming, is at it again
-- this time with a messaging strategy designed
to sink our historic opportunity for health care reform.
Let's be clear: this is not a strategy to push
certain ideas about health reform. It is a strategy intended solely
to kill reform efforts altogether. In his own
words, Dr. Luntz has stated, "You're not going to get what you want,
but you can kill what they're trying to do."
Not surprisingly, since the American public is
strongly in favor of fixing the broken health care system,
the Luntz strategy is predicated on deception.
What?
A Republican using deception to fool the stupid people?
Why haven't we heard something about this before?
One Luntz strategy is to call efforts to reform
our broken health care system a "bailout for the insurance industry."
This is ridiculous. This statement is developed
to serve the same interests who stopped at nothing to derail health care
reform in the 90's, who blocked health care coverage
for low-income children, and whose top Medicare priority for
15 years has been transferring money from seniors
and taxpayers to the insurance industry.
I'll tell you how to get past a lying son of a bitch like Luntz and his GOP thugs: You keep it simple - have Obama say,
"If you're happy with health care and its costs,'
then let's do nothing. But if you're
tired of paying $1500 a month for so-so coverage
(that's if you can even get coverage)
help me fight the Republicans as they try
to prevent much-needed health care reform."
My first 2009 hospital visit cost $3,000 for a one-day stay.
My second 2009 hospital visit cost $8,000 for a two-day stay.
We have insurance thru Mrs Bart's work, but the deductible was $2000.
Getting sick is expensive.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Why Republicans Are Better at Affairs
Excerpt:
I've often wondered why Democrats are more often
burned at the stake for having affairs than Republicans.
Maybe because Republicans tend to sleep with
their own kind, while Democrats sleep beneath themselves.
And those women can be counted on to sell their
stories.
Not to make a federal case out of this flip observation,
but think about Bill Clinton and John Edwards' paramours.
Like Monica Lewinsky and Gennifer Flowers before
her, Rielle Hunter was not a discreet choice. Interns, lounge singers,
and independent contractors like Rielle, the
videographer paid by Edwards to travel with the campaign, are not easily
silenced
once they're dumped. As usually happens, Edwards'
wife, Elizabeth, is now gunning for the mistress, while continuing to cohabit
with her malpracticing husband. But this time,
the other woman may hold up the disgraced politician with a ransom baby.
Or, maybe it's about money.
If you have enough of it, you just have an affair with a woman who
doesn't have much money.
When you're tired of her, you buy a million dollar home and tell her
she can live there free,
with paid utilities and taxes, as long as she keeps her mouth shut.
Trust me, that works.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Subject: Prayer
Bart,
There are two types of prayer. Vertical
prayer, which is a person praying to God.
And horizontal prayer, which is a person trying
to impress those around themselves as to how good a Christian they are.
I believe that those who are complaining about
the National Day of Prayer subscribe to the latter.
Steve
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John McCain has 7 houses, 13 cars and a private
jet
and the GOP wants you to think of him as a
"regular guy."
Obama likes Dijon mustard on his hamburger
and that makes him an out-of-touch elitist?
How Dead is the GOP?
Excerpt:
Republican ideas - about economic issues, social
issues and just about everything else - are not popular ideas.
They are extremely conservative ideas tarred
by association with the extremely unpopular George W. Bush,
who helped downsize the party to its extremely
conservative base. A hard-right agenda of slashing taxes for the
investor class, protecting marriage from gays,
blocking universal health insurance and extolling the glories of
waterboarding produces terrific ratings for Rush
Limbaugh, but it's not a majority agenda.
The party's new, Hooverish focus on austerity
on the brink of another depression does not seem to fit the national
mood, and it's shamelessly hypocritical, given
the party's recent history of massive deficit spending on pork, war and
prescription drugs in good times, not to mention
its continuing support for deficit-exploding tax cuts in bad times.
As the party has shrunk to its base, it has catered
even more to its base's biases, insisting that the New Deal made
the Depression worse, carbon emissions are fine
for the environment and tax cuts actually boost revenues -- even
though the vast majority of historians, scientists
and economists disagree. The RNC is about to vote on a
kindergartenish resolution to change the name
of its opponent to the Democrat Socialist Party.
This plays well with hard-core culture warriors
and tea-party activists convinced that a dictator-President is plotting
to seize their guns, choose their doctors and
put ACORN in charge of the Census, but it ultimately produces even
more shrinkage, which gives the base even more
influence -- and the death spiral continues.
The GOP just keeps digging their hole deeper and deeper.
America loves their president and the Fascist dogs love trashing him
and the voters will punish them again as soon as they get the chance.
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We are closer than ever to the $3,000
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Thanks to all who have been so generous.
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Bristol Palin’s New Gig
Excerpt:
Neil Cole is the head of Iconix, a company that
makes the Candie’s line of teen fashions. A couple of years ago,
under fire from critics who accused him of dressing
high schoolers like tarts, he established the Candie’s Foundation,
which fights teen pregnancy. And there he was
on Wednesday introducing the foundation’s new teen ambassador, Bristol
Palin.
Palin is not in any way to be confused with the
new Candie’s brand spokesperson, Britney Spears.
Bristol is the one endorsing abstinence; Britney
is the one promoting "hot bottoms."...
But surely, when it comes to combating teen pregnancy,
the Palin family has done enough damage already.
What worse message could you send to teenage
girls than the one they delivered at the Republican convention:
If your handsome but thuglike boyfriend gets
you with child, he will clean up nicely, propose, and show up at an
important family event wearing a suit and holding
your hand. At which point you will get a standing ovation.
Don't forget the part about promising to marry her - until Mom's political
campaign is over.
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Forward from Mike Malloy
Subject: Mike, Thanks for Bartcop
Mike,
I was driving a while ago and heard you plugging
Bartcop and I somehow wrote out the name at a red light.
Wow! You nailed it and I am totally addicated
to Bartcop, but also can't do without your show every day.
I have been listening for years, joined up, and
now download all of your shows for my r/trip to and from work.
Keep up the great work, but I wish you were on
TV. I prefer you over Schultz.
Nancy
Nancy, everybody prefers Mike to Ed Schultz.
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Full Tilt Poker
If you sign up, tell them bartcop
sent you.
They'll give us both some extra chips.
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Quotes
"The idea that we ought to moderate basically
means we ought to fundamentally change our philosophy.
I for one am not prepared to do that,
and I think most of us aren’t."
-- Super-Dick, on Rethugs softening the rhetoric that's making people flee
the GOP, Link
"I don't want to moderate either. I think
our policies, the principles of our party,
are as viable today as they have been
in the past."
--John McCain, too stupid to realize he's one of the flip-flopping moderates
they're trying to get rid of,
Link
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Subject: Palins plummeting polls
The real reason Palin is plummeting is because
they have 11 dollar a gallon fuel oil in parts of alaska
and trust me, thats like 2 grand a month for
those fixed income folks in Alaska.
That reminds me of the good ol Bush days of five
dollar a gallon gas.
The repukes just love big oil companies and theyre
willing to rape America dry to enrich Mobil and Exxon.
Keith in Wellsville Ohio
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Marty's Entertainment Page
Marty always has good stuff.
Need to take a sudden trip?
Quotes
"I certainly have every reason to believe that
he knew a great deal about the program.
He basically authorized it. I mean,
this was a presidential level decision.
And the decision went to the president.
He signed off on it."
-- Cheney, when asked if Dubya had signed off on
torturing the goat herders, Link
Butt Dick, and honest man wouldn't answered, "Yes" to that question.
Why did you have to hem and haw about that "every
reason to believe" horseshit?
And if the biggest dumbass in political history was really the
president for eight years,
why wouldn't he know everything about it instead of "a
great deal?"
Could it be because YOU set this up and didn't tell the Top Stooge?
After all these years you can't lie any better than that?
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Subject: Big Pharma / Pot Shrinks Tumors
Hi, Bart,
I read Tab's response to my post.
Here
are my comments:
The Original Ninjalibrarian
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Worldwide Bartcop
They read it in Bixby, Oklahoma (where the corn is ready in five weeks)
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They read it in St Joseph, Missouri
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Why sell just to America when you can sell to the whole world?
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Bartcop Radio
I WILL do a radio show this week.
Subject: Donation
Bart, here's something in gratitude for the laughs
and insights.
Mike in Harborside
Mike, thanks for that.
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