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a Palin Theory?
What made her go crazy and quit? 
Tell me
I'll print it Monday
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Thurs-Fri July 2-3, 2009 Vol 2359 - Mashed up Jackass
 Quote of the Day "No matter how much they love you,
|
In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
|
Quotes
"We are going to get the clown from Minnesota,”
-- Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik) Link
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Sanford
Reaps, then Sows
Why he needs to step down
Excerpt:
T"I had no particular interest in rubbernecking
this disaster. People make mistakes. The flesh is weak.
About 10 percent of married people admit that
they have cheated on their spouses. And 54 percent
say that they know someone who has been unfaithful.
At the end of the day, this would be a private
matter. That is if it were not for the appalling hypocrisy
of yet another social conservative saying one
thing while doing another.
There are Democratic sex scandals to be sure,
but Democrats didn’t build a franchise on holier-than-thou
moral rectitude. The Republicans did. They used
sexual morality as a weapon and now it’s shooting them in the foot.
Sanford voted to impeach Bill Clinton. Sanford
called Clinton’s behavior "reprehensible" and said,
"I think it would be much better for the country
and for him personally” to resign. “I come from the
business side. ... If you had a chairman or president
in the business world facing these allegations,
he’d be gone." Remember that Mr. Sanford?"
I wish he'd hang around for another 30 days or so.
It might be a long summer and we need the comedy.
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Interesting --- Obama's agenda involves saving lives.
The GOP is about stealing thru murder at three times the price.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Marty always has good stuff.
Seen on http://www.whatnowtoons.com/
Quotes
"We've been in office six months now. I suspect
that by the time this is over,
I think you guys will have pretty good
feelings about the Obama administration."
-- Obama, while meeting with gay and lesbian leaders, Link
"The president is working with the Pentagon,
working with members of Congress, and when we
look back, he will be judged on the
promises that he kept, and this will be one of them."
-- Obama's spokesman Gibbs, Link
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Rating GOP Sex Scandals
Excerpt:
Oh sure, Democrats have their sex scandals, but
they're not nearly as interesting. Most Democrats busted
in sex scandals aren't the same type of overbearing
moral scolds as your average GOP politician.
Plus, Democratic sex scandals tend to be of the
more vanilla nature.
The GOP's deviants have brought a wealth of oddball
debaucheries to the table, from failed bathroom-stall hookups
to slimy messages sent to underage congressional
pages to rumored S&M diaper fantasies. So let's review the past
20 years of Republican sex scandals and rate
each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based on factors such as hypocrisy,
legal liability, the damage inflicted upon the
perpetrators' careers and overall comedy.
They listed Clarence "Slappy" Thomas, Bob Packwood,
Gingrich, perv Mark Foley, diaper-boy David Vitter,
Larry "Wide-stance" Craig, and Mark Sanford,
but there were so many others.
Remember Bob Livingston?
He was going to be Speaker (after Gingrich got
caught) but Larry Flynt claimed he had a tape of Livingston
getting whipped by his dominatrix and he promised
to release the tape if Livingston didn't resign.
ha ha
Flynt was bluffing, but Livingston didn't
know that.
Plus, I remember some impeachment House Managers
brought their hookers to the proceedings.
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Call the
BartPhone 1-800-530-2979 and leave your
2 minute message or question or joke or impression to be played on
BCR.
If you screw it up, just say it again and I'll edit the bad part out.
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Sanford saying ALL the wrong things
Excerpt:
Mark Sanford may be sleeping in the doghouse
permenantly after telling the Whore AP that his mistress is his soulmate,
but that he'll try to fall back in love with
his wife. The Governor also said he 'crossed lines' with other,
different women
than his Argentinean mistress but he claims he
never actually laid any pipe with them.
Republicans: Sanford, resign
Excerpt:
Gov. Mark Sanford had a rough June - first he
was missing, later claimed to be hiking, then the media discovered his
Argentine mistress, and now, finally, South Carolina
politicians are calling for his resignation. And all this about a man
who had been discussed in certain political circles
as a candidate for president in 2012.
The State newspaper reports that 12 of the 27
members of the Senate Majority Caucus are calling for Sanford
to step down. U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint has also urged
the governor to resign, telling him to make “the right decision.”
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Still the best advertising bargain on the Net
Banner ads by the day,
by the week,
or by the month
Why being
a Lying Handjob Matters
by Thomas "Tom" Sowell
Excerpt:
The stakes in all this are far higher than which
element becomes dominant in which party or which party
wins more elections. Both the domestic-
and foreign-policy direction of Obama's administration are leading
this country into dangerous waters, from which
we may or may not be able to return.
Really?
After Bush turned the world against us?
After Bush stole the retirement of tens of millions of Americans?
After Bush sat there like a scared rabbit on
9-11?
After Bush stole $10,000,000,000 from the housing market?
After Bush turned peace and prosperity into war,
torture, rape and bankruptcy?
Really?
A quadrupling of the national debt in just one
year and accepting a nuclear-armed sponsor of international
terrorism such as Iran are not things from which
any country is guaranteed to recover.
Obama has no choice but to "accept" a nuclear
Iran.
Iran wasn't nuclear until Bush labeled them "Axis
of Evil."
That's when they bulked up - it's all on Bush.
Just two nuclear bombs were enough to get Japan
to surrender in World War II. It is hard to believe that it would
take much more than that for the United States
of America to surrender - especially with people in control of both
the White House and the Congress who were for
turning tail and running in Iraq just a couple of years ago.
Israel isn't going to allow Iran's nukes to go
online.
Have you ever heard of Osirak?
Perhaps people who are busy gushing over the Obama
cult today might do well to stop and think about
what it would mean for their granddaughters to
live under sharia law.
Fuck you, liar, traitor and whore.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
The Decline
of America
What Bush did to a once-great nation
Excerpt:
"For years we hear little else, "But he kept
us safe." The "but" refers to bankrupting the country, stealing elections,
suspending Constitutional Rights, poisoning the
air and water and turning the country over to racketeers from oil, drug,
insurance and crooked financial services.
We lost our free press in a propaganda blitz coordinated
illegally with tax dollars and endless "organizations" that all
track down to war profiteers, big polluters or
financial scamsters working with our former government as full partners
in crime.
Never has any American generation, and we have
had some real doozies, the isolationist "pro-Nazi" and lynch mob group
of the 20s and 30s whose kids grew up to fight
WW2, failed so miserably at being American. This one danced with
the devil
in the name of "family values" while killing
hundreds of thousands, mostly innocent, torturing prisoners of war and
raping and
pillaging both domestically and abroad.
Protests were banned, censorship was enforced,
albeit "informally" and the entire federal government became part of
a criminal conspiracy, from the Supreme Court
and White House downward, subverting laws, prosecuting and jailing,
not only "enemies" but protesting veterans and
their families. There were 2000 such cases against vets.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Quotes
"While doing his Worst Person in the World
segment, Olbermann named Limbaugh for describing
the Supreme Court’s 5-4 decision
in that New Haven firefighter case as a 9-0 decision.
Olbermann called Limbaugh, 'a
big bag of mashed up jackass.'"
-- capj71,
Link
Note: The vulgar Pigboy was lying again. The court ruled 5-4.
And if Gore or Kerry had chosen to fight, they might've ruled
6-3 the other way
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We're on Twitter
Look for bartcop
Note: If you sign up,
you'll get a Twitter message when
that day's page is fresh and hot.
Subject: BCR Show 154
Bart, BCR 154 is great stuff, and so was the Howard
Stern bit.
That traction bit had beer coming out of my nose.
In 154 the Bill Bennett hypocrisy stuff was priceless.
Do we all really have to (be gay) everyday before
work?
This was your best effort in a while with tons
of funny political material.
Bill from ct
Hopefully doing more shows will make them better.
Plus, I have a surprise coming.
I'm doing BCR 155 now, I'll include the news in that.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Quotes
"They’re not being punished. We’re allowing
them to exist, and do what every
American can do. We’re just not rewarding
them with any special designation."
-- Pa. State Sen. John
Eichelberger (R) asked about gays, Link
"I'm sorry sir, I hadn't realized there was
a class of Americans who decided who got to exist.
Can I clean that white hood for you?"
-- Hoodathunktick,
Link
"Heil Hitler"
-- jbrantow, Link
"Another bigot espousing 'family values;' as
long as your family is White, hetero and Republican.
For Chrissakes GOP, it's 2009; there's
no pinko, Commie, Hippie, queer threat out there.
The only thing you have to fear is
another Republican administration."
-- jrfunkenstein,
Link
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Subject: MJ and Molestation
Bart, you wrote:
> We'll never know for sure unless someone
comes forth with some evidence.
> The lack of evidence should trouble
those of us who believe in the law.
Having had past experience with the system regarding
child molestation, the prevailing attitude amongst
police and prosecutors on this issue is that
"children don't lie about this" regardless of the availability of
other evidence. While they would prefer a heavily
smoking gun, they will present any case where a child
said something happened because they can. It
matters little whether the allegations are actually true, it's just
another notch on the wall for these people (see
a program called "Witch Hunt" narrated by Sean Penn
to get a sense of just how badly they can ruin
your life - it will make you sick).
As for the notion that "children don't lie about
this", of course, those of us with children know better.
They lie all the time, and will lie about molestation
just as easily and they lie about who ate all the cookies.
We can name cases that have since been thrown
out (McMartin Preschool, Margaret Kelly Michaels, etc)
or the individuals have been eventually found
not guilty, however their lives are still ruined because everyone
in town knows them as "the molester" even if
they were found not guilty; plus everything they owned was
sold to pay for their defense.
Dee in NJ
Actually, it's the parents who worry me.
I doubt many 10 year olds have dollar signs in their eyes.
Once word got out that MJ paid a family, it was open season.
You have "an admission" + *my* kid was at Neverland once = we hit the
lottery.
Of course, he could be guilty as hell,
but I just think a criminal case should be backed with solid proof.
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Put your link on our Links Page
All we ask is you put ours on yours.
The Iraq Situation
OK, Iran was mean to us in 1979-1980.
But Reagan/Bush partnered up with those radical
terrorists and made them a secret illegal deal
to hold the helpless American hostages longer
than those radical terrorists wanted to hold them so
"I'll never deal with terrorists" Reagan
could get the White House awat from lawful Jimmy Carter.
Once Reagan/Bush got in power, they gave or sold poison gas to Saddam to murder Iranians.
Reagan/Bush backed Saddam the Aggressor
when he invaded Iran.
Why was America in the business of helping the
aggressor?
So Iraq and Iran fought to a million-dead-men
draw during the eighties.
In the early nineties, Saddam asked Bush for
permission
to invade Kuwait then-president Bush said yes.
But as soon as Saddam invaded, Bush harrumped,
"This
aggression will not stand."
Why did Poppy Bush give Saddam permission to invade
Kuwait?
Because he was known as "Bush
the Wimp" and he wanted to get rid of
that label.
So Bush fabricated a reason to start a war in
the Middle East, which angered Osama
to the point where he declared war on America
- thanks to Bush the Smarter.
After militarily defeating his old partner in
Gulf War I, Bush gave Saddam permission to fly
his helicopters North so he could machine-gun
and gas the Kurds for their uprising which
was also supported and encouraged by Bush
the Smarter.
Then Bush the Dumber stole power and when in office,
he told the Taliban that he wanted a pipeline
thru their country and when they refused, Bush
told them they could have a carpet of gold or a carpet
of bombs. The Taliban said, "Fuck
you, George," and they had Osama train
his eye on a way to
hurt America and the 9-11 attack was designed
and financed.
After 9-11, Bush the Dumber lied, claiming Saddam
was involved.
So Bush said, "Fuck
him, we're taking him out" and sent our
soldiers into the sand.
Six years and 4,300 dead American soldiers later,
Iraq is about to get a new government.
Problem is, the government is Shia, the
people Iraq fought and gassed in the eighties.
Bush and America's whore media have veen crowing
for years about "bringing down a dictator,"
but from the Iraqis point of view, they traded
a Sunni strongman of their own for a Shia strongman
who gets his orders directly from the ayatollahs
in Tehran.
Maybe if the Bush bastards had stayed out of the
Iraq-Iran was in the eighties, Iran would've won
and we'd have the same situation we have now
- but those 4,300 soldiers would still be alive and
the Twin Towers would still be standing and hundreds
or thouasands of female American soldiers
would never have been raped - but that scenario
wouldn't work - and do you know why?
The Bush bastards made a profit when Iran
illegally took our people hostage.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Iraq
and Iran went to war.
The Bush bastards made a profit when they
illegally sold weapons to both sides.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Saddam
invaded Kuwait.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Saddan
was defeated in 1991.
The Bush bastards made a profit when they
convinced Arafat to turn down Clinton's deal.
The Bush bastards made very little profit when we had peace and prosperity under Clinton.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Clinton
was impeached for having a girlfriend.
The Bush bastards made a profit when the
press and the Whore Supreme Court
installed
Bush the Dumber against the will of the majority of the voters.
The Bush bastards made a profit when we
were attacked on 9-11.
The Bush bastards made a profit when they
blamed the attack on Saddam.
The Bush bastards made a profit when they
illegally invaded the wrong country.
The Bush bastards made a profit when they
sold weapons and tanks to the US military.
The Bush bastards made a profit when they
refused to send enough troops to get the job done.
The Bush bastards made a profit when the
Iraqi oil wells pumped for 6
years without meters.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Iraqi
assets were (legally) transfered to Bush.
The Bush bastards made a profit when they
illegally discarded the U.S. Constitution.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Ohio's
Sec of State illegally pulled a "Katherine Harris."
The Bush bastards made a profit when Bush
illegally tapped everybody's phones.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Bush
illegally tapped everybody's mail.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Bush
illegally tapped everybody's bank accounts.
The Bush bastards made a profit when Bush
illegally hired Blackwater and Halliburton with "no performance"
(they get
paid every when they don't deliever) contracts that nobody else had a chance
to bid on..
Every
major White House decision made from the day Reagan got shot in 1981 until
January 20th, 1993 was about the Bush bastards
making a profit on the back of the taxpayers...
Look at the Clinton years - 1993 to 2001.
The Bush bastards also made money by sending soldiers to their deaths.
Bush the Dumber got off saying, "I'm
proud of you" to the maimed soldiers and
to the familes
of the dead, all the while raking in hundreds
of billions, then trillions of dollars in stolen money.
Every
major White House decision made from the day Bush was appointed president
until Obama took over
was about the Bush bastards making a profit
on the back of the taxpayers and the lives of our soldiers.
America was under the thumb of The Bush Profit Machine for 32 of the last 40 years.
Please - somebody argue with me on anything I've written here.
Since the whore press is corrupt,
since the whore press is owned by profit-seeking, rich Republicans,
you can only hear the truth at independent sites like bartcop.com
The last 40
years have been about the Bush bastards stealing trillions of dollars
and they did it by raping America and the rest of the world.
...and the Democrats just stood there and let it happen.
The stolen elections (three, minumum)
the wiretappings,
the illegal searches,
losing the 4th and 6th Amendments,
the kidnappings,
the rapes,
the tortures,
the murders,
the pre-emptive invasion,
the bloody wars,
all so the Bush bastards could steal more money.
Did I mention the Bush bastards started with a partnership with Hitler?
"Bart, are you complaining about Bush again?
Why can't you just relax and go with the flow?"
Note: If you send this to somebody - you
can use this link
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Is Golf even a Sport?
Excerpt:
Sure it is, just like in the World Series Of
Poker, they walk six miles over the course of the game, right?
And tossing those chips into the pot demands
complete precision and a total mastery of oneself and one's
muscles, right? Please. Golf can be played in
a slack, careless manner, but as anybody who's ever watched
the L.A. Clippers or the Kansas City Royals can
tell you, so can "traditional" athletes.
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I know what you're thinking...
"Ol' Bart helped me get thru some dark days.
He helped me stay sane when that shit went
down,
maybe I should send him a 'love' check."
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Help Bartcop.com
survive!
The bart kitties are eating machines.
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Quotes
"I’m going to love the next 4 years.
As if Obama’s victory was not enough to drive the
Fox News bunch to the brink of Nutsville,
Franken’s victory in Minnesota is now taking
them over the edge...Al Franken is
a bright and witty guy and it’s going to be fun watching
him in action…but not as much fun as
watching the Fox crowd squirming in agony."
--Mario Piperni, Link
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When you're young and in love,
there's only one thing on your mind...
Why subscribe?
There are 154 shows online to listen to.
That's a lot of BCR
You can select a monthly plan to provide recurring support.
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Check out the toons and stuff
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Worldwide Bartcop
They read it in Gdansk, Poland where Reagan organized the workers
They read it in Hallock, Minnesota
They read it in Chiclayo, Peru where my old boss is paying $6 for hookers
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Subject: Donation
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Amanda Bynes signs 2-picture deal
See dozens more Amanda Bynes pictures at BC Hotties
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BCR Show
#154
Click to Listen to Show 154
Right
Click to download
Show 154
(Hit 'Save Target As')
BCR Show
#153
Click to Listen to Show 153
Right
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Show 153
(Hit 'Save Target As')
This show is missing a whole bunch of parts.
My old computer no longer recognizes flash drives or CD drives.
The good news is all those missing parts are ready to go in Show
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Click to Listen to Show 153 Bonus
Right Click to download Show 153 Bonus
What is the bonus?
It's a tag-team ambush by Howard Stern and Robin.
One of their employees got a word wrong - traction -
and they jumped on him and tortured him for twelve minutes
.
I don't know of any other comic or comic team that could've pulled
this off.
It was live, it was spontaneous and it was amazing.
If you know someone who says Stern has no talent - play this for them.
It's the hardest I've laughed this year - I hope you like it.
... 
so nice, we'll run it thrice
What's
your
favorite Shirley picture?
(Send
the picture, don't send a description of the picture.)
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