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BCR
#158 is here
Links at the bottom of the page |
Monday October 12, 2009 Vol 2409 - Fear the Tusk
by Bruce Yurgil  Quote of the Day "If the President has a BLT tomorrow,
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In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
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Help Bartcop.com survive!
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Quotes
"Obama says he will end Don't Ask Don't Tell
but he has done nothing, and he offered no time-line,
no deadline for action and no verifiable
record that he has done anything, despite his claims that he has.
That's a test of real sincerity on
this matter. He failed it."
-- Andrew Sullivan,
Link
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Oklahoma
Abortion Law
Personal Details To Be Posted Online
Excerpt:
A new Oklahoma law requires physicians to disclose
detailed information on women's abortions to the State's
Department Of Health, which will then post the
collected data on a public website. The controversial measure
comes into effect on November 1 and will cost
$281,285 to implement, $256,285 each subsequent year to maintain.
Oklahoma women undergoing legal abortion procedures will be forced to reveal:
1) Date of abortion
2) County in which abortion is performed
3) Age of mother
4) Marital status of mother
5) Race of mother
6) Years of education of mother
7) State or foreign country of residence of mother
8) Total number of previous pregnancies of the
mother.
Obviously they want women to go to other states for their abortions.
And if they can't afford it? Fuck 'em.
They can always get a back alley abortion with a coathanger.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Quotes
"I was on a plane yesterday and I heard someone
complain that their child's acne was because
of George Bush. Of course last week
the Olympics didn't come to Chicago, that was my brother's fault.
And at some point people are going
to have to put on their big-boy pants and assume responsibility
for the great challenges and opportunities
our country has..."
-- Jeb Bush, asked if his brother ruined the world's economy,
Link
Poor Jeb - he wanted to be president in the worst way
but his brother fucked everything up for the Bush family and
Republicans.
Bush did such a bad job, the country elected an unqualified Muslim
Socialist with Stalinist tendencies.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Gingrich named "Porn Fan of the Year"
Excerpt:
Allison Vivas once thought she’d be spending
Wednesday night in D.C. with Newt Gingrich. Then he stood her up.
Vivas was contacted by Gingrich’s PAC, and was told Newt wanted to honor her as the group’s "Entrepreneur of the Year" for 2009.
Gingrich associate Joe Gaylord wrote to Vivas
that "Newt’s Business Defense and Advisory Council" wanted to "dine privately"
with her on Oct. 7 at the "historic Capitol
Hill Club" in "recognition of the risks you take to create jobs and stimulate
the economy."
But then Gingrich found out about Vivas' entreporneurial background: She creates adult movies.
And given Gingrich’s presidential aspirations,
he got clammy about spending quality time alone with the auteur behind
such titles as
Anal Devastation,
Couples Seduce Teens,
Brazen And Unshaven,
Double Penetration Tryouts,
Wife Switch Volume 7,
Desperately Seeking Cock,
Monster Cock Junkies,
House Wife Bangers,
Memoirs Of A Gusher,
Teen Anal Pounding, etc.
ha ha
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Racist Restaurant
Sign
How racist are they in Georgia?
Excerpt
When you walk into the Georgia Peach Oyster Bar,
you feel like you've walked into a different era.
Behind the pool tables stands a mannequin in
a Klu Klux Klan costume, but it's what's outside Patrick Lanzo's
restaurant that has some people angry.
Lanzo put up a sign that reads "Obama's plan
for health-care: Nigger rig it."
Asked why he put up the sign, Lanzo said, "I've
been putting up signs for 22 years
and I've put up all kinds of political signs,"
said Lanzo.
"Why did you use the N word?" Marsh asked.
"'Well, I’ve used it most of my life. (He
voted for McCain.) There are different ways
to put your opinion up, but that's just the words
I choose,' Lanzo answered.
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Marty's Entertainment Page
Marty always has good stuff.
See more at whatnowtoons.com
Quotes
"I think the people who used to run the election
board for Saddam
were hired by the Nobel committee
here to tally the votes."
-- the vulgar racist Pigboy,
upset that his warmongering idol couldn't win anything,
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Subject: Catholic rape
Bart, that Roman Polanski comic was great, but
what would be even funnier
is a cartoon where Polanski requests sanctuary
from Der Pope.
After all, the legal age of consent in Vatican City is 12.
Swear to Koresh. Look it up.
Jeff
http://jeffcrook.blogspot.com
I believe we have SIX Catholics on the Supreme Court now.
Maybe they'll make rape retroactively legal to help those horny priests.
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Saw it at http://cantstopwontstop.com
Subject: Winning by losing - losing by winning?
President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize and
Republicans are angry.
Last week America lost it's bid to get the 2016
Olympics and the Republicans were cheering.
Since Republicans have been doing everything wrong
and caused our current
economic crisis and started the two wars we are
currently stuck with they are
trying to redefine losing as winning and winning
as losing.
It seems that the angrier the Republicans are
the more you know America is heading in the right
direction.
Congratulations Mr. President!
Marc Perkel
My blog: http://marc.perkel.com
Founder of the Church of Reality
http://www.churchofreality.org
"Reality Based Voter"
Side note: Enjoy
my new squirrel video.
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Affordable, personalized
website design and hosting.
Get free hosting for
one year with any design purchase.
Subject: why we need universal health insurance
Frank in China
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Quotes
"When I was sworn into the Marine Corps, I
was sworn to uphold the Constitution against every enemy,
foreign and domestic. We've got a lot
of domestic enemies of the Constitution and one of them is Nancy Pelosi."
-- Georgia Rep Paul Broun
(R-Birther Handjob) Link
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Quotes
"The AMA does not have the credibility on this
healthcare issue, as they would like to project."
-- Michae; Tom Steele, pretending
he knows more about health care than the doctors at the AMA,
Link
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Subject: Eddie and Rickie
Bart-mon,
I’m a big fan of Eddie Izzard, but I think that
Rickie Gervais is the smartest and funniest person I’ve ever seen.
If you’re a Netflix guy, check out Extras.
Also check him out on Inside the Actors’ Studio.
Seriously bro… Rickie is fab.
Blaze
Subject: You have totally offended me Bart -for the first time.
You don't get British humour?! Bart, I am
cut to the bone! Eddie Izzard is quite funny but he's not the only
one.
Little Britain is a bit over the top for me in
some skits, but I dare you to watch "Bubble Devere" at the fat farm
on their and not laugh. (UK version of
their show is much better than the one that tries cater to the US)
If I can't convince you, then you should watch
Top Gear which is a car show that one of your other readers
linked to on today's page. I saw that episode
that the timesonline link talked about, and it was one of their best shows.
Those guys are hilarious every week and have
entirely too much fun (other than almost being killed in Alabama)
to be paid for what they do.
Come on Bart give the brits a chance.
Aileen
I keep seeing Benny Hill in a dress and Brits falling down laughing.
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Nancy Grace's new TV Show
Excerpt:
CBS Television Distribution (CTD) hopes that
Nancy Grace will become the next Judge Judy.
The syndicator has signed an exclusive development
deal with Grace to develop a 30-minute daily strip
that will be a new take on the court show. CBS
executives are excited about Grace as a personality.
CTD is developing the show, for now titled Swift
Justice With Nancy Grace, for fall 2010.
Grace has no plans to leave her show on HLN.
CTD first started talking to Grace last year.
A quick study of Grace's popularity convinced
CTD that it might be a good idea to go into business
with the former attorney...
Grace is lucky that Scott Peterson murdered his wife (probably.)
If not for that great break, she'd just be another schlub guesting on Larry
King.
"Dat's right..."
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Subject: Glenn Beck - rapist
Bart, I know you are a man of logic.
I know you demand evidence when someone is accused
of a crime.
Do you realize there is no evidence that
Glenn Beck is innocent of rape and murder?
Worse, there is no evidence that Glenn
Beck is not a serial rapist and murderer.
Eddie the Hunter
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No Peace
For Obama Or America
by my good friend Richard Fricker
Excerpt:
Watching the conservative and Republican reaction
to President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize certainly tells us more
about them than about the prize. It should be
remembered these are the same people who cheered when Chicago lost
its Olympic bid, because it was a loss for Obama.
These people have shown they care not one whit
for America or American values. They have instead shown
they place their agenda, a one-party near totalitarian
society above the best interest of the United States.
Did they think some half-drunk clown who killed
hundreds of thousands
in a fabricated war was going to get such
an honor?
ha ha
No, these elements which shame the name of Democracy
would, and do, demean any vestige of civility and
common decency by attacking anyone who accomplishes
anything for the public good.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
Subject: Polanski & Rape
Bart:
I'm disappointed in you. Polanski is a child
rapist.
I had nothing to do with that.
He plied the child with drugs and alcohol and (lots of details). She was a child.
Who is arguing with you?
This man is a paedophile, the lowest of the low.
He fled from justice and now
justice seeks him to make him accountable for
his despicable crime.
Mary
Mary, thanks for your opinion, but we need to talk about the same subject.
If
I slap your brother in the face and he falls, they'd call that "The
Bartcop beating."
If
the vulgar Pigboy drags a black man behind his pickup, that's also "a
beating."
Can you see a difference in those two situations?
I'll bet you can.
Put another way, Rhode Island and Texas are both states,
but only a crazy person would argue they are the same.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog
If the light stays on for more than 4 hours,
call your erectrician.
Does poker player Phil Ivey
(the Tiger Woods of Golf,)
read bartcop.com?
I really like the poker/stock market aspect.
You can't make any progress without gambling.
Why not learn how to gamble in your youth?
Hell for
Roman Polanski
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
What would Americans talk about without celebrity
sex scandals? It's getting to where even a diligent voyeur
has trouble keeping the protagonists straight
without schematic diagrams like the character lists in 19th-century Russian
novels.
If adultery were a crime, a cynical homicide detective
once told me, the prisons would be bigger than the graveyards.
Even so, reveling in other people's sins has
become the national pastime. We've become a country of Peeping Toms, a
sadistic activity.
Recently, four separate sex scandals vied for
the news consumer's attention: a film director, two prominent politicians
and a TV comic. As usual, the unlucky lovers
saw their privacy obliterated and their intimate lives rendered into moralistic
fables.
Whom the gods would destroy, they first make
famous.
Everybody's least favorite character is Roman
Polanski. Except for a few Hollywood fools and European intellectuals
who express the perverse belief that art excuses
all crimes, hardly anybody would be upset to see Polanski go to prison.
As one who thinks his film "Chinatown" a masterpiece,
I don't much care what happens to him.
Send e-mail to Bart | Discuss it on The BartCop Forum | Comment on it at the BartBlog!
Subject: H.N.I.C.
There aren't any races anymore, there are the
wealthy, and everybody else.
It doesn't matter what color your skin is, we're
all niggers today.
JLove
We might all be niggers because we're disrespected by rich, white Republicans,
but the situation should not exist since we niggers
are in the majority
Who else but our dumbass Democrats could get out-voted when they have the MAJORITY?!?!
The sad truth is ...
the Democrats could benefit from the advice of an Okie with an
IQ of 64.
I'm not claiming I'd have all the answers, but I'll
bet I'd have three.
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Quotes
"When I saw the mock-up of what it was going
to look like, it literally gave me chills.
I felt like we were right back in those
wonderful days when Tim was still with us."
-- NBC News President Steve Capus, on the Newseum exhibit of Saint Timmy's
office
"Not to speak ill of the dead, but really,
Newseum? Is it necessary to further enshrine the late
and already vigorously celebrated Tim
Russert by re-creating his NBC office as an exhibit?"
--KA,
"South Buffalo, where I spend a lot of time
- insular, provincial and proud of it, racist, racist, racist.
You can’t go into a bar in South Buffalo
and not hear the 'N' word within ten minutes. Russert was a
right-wing tool, and his "tough" questions
were softballs of slightly higher velocity."
--godistwaddle,
"I lost all respect for him when he defended
the pedophile priests."
--stcfarms,
"Tim Russert wore a George W. Bush pin under
his lapel during the debate he moderated between
Bush and Gore, which he flashed to
Bush when initially greeting the candidates (before cameras were rolling).
I’ll gladly speak ill of the dead,
when they did as much damage to the nation I love as has Tim Russert.
Russert was not a journalist, and lacked
the basic ethics of the profession he pretended to be a part of."
-- thetruth,
"The cult of Tim Russert is beyond silly.
What is the rationale for it? When it came to war and peace,
his questions tended to have a jingoistic
quality. I guess this must be where his reputation for supposedly
being tough came from."
--P.T.,
"What a craven cad he was…how he licked Jack
Welch’s boots each and every day, carrying water
for GWB every Sunday… leading to the
election and service of the worst president of this or any age..."
--apolloguide,
Russert's "journalistic integrity" can be summed up in two words:
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Subject: Rush to purchase the Rams
It would be nice to hear the NFL commissioner stand up and say to Rush:
"Sorry, but we don't do business with 'your kind' "
I don't know if the commissioner has the authority
to block a sale to Rush, but if it happened,
doesn't he have the ability to set the schedule?
We could have a season where NOBODY plays the Rams.....
....except the Cowboys
--dave, in Ashland OR
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Saw it on ChuckMcCoy.com
Are umpires blind or crooked?
How blind can a professional umpire be?
He ruled that ball was outside the line.
Excerpt:
In the 11th inning of Game 2, Minnesota's Joe
Mauer sliced a ball down the left-field line
that bounced at least 6 inches inside fair territory
for what should’ve been a ground-rule double.
Umpire Phil Cuzzi, blind as a bat and standing
10 feet away, called it foul.
So that’s what baseball has come to: supporting
egregious flubs to protect their own.
It’s the epitome of an old-boys’ network, and
it’s insulting to the game.
Nobody inside baseball wants a postseason defined
by its umpiring screw-ups,
and yet year after year, they happen. Ignoring
the issue won’t make it go away.
Baseball has been hijacked by bad refereeing.
Not only that, but TNT had a virtual strike zone
on the screen that showed the home plate umpire
calling strikes on pitches that were more
than a ball-width out of the strike zone.
We ask the batter to make a decision about a ball
that's coming towards him,
so why can't an umpire make a better decision
about the ball after it's been caught?
Baseball is full of prejudice and arbitrary rules
that change from pitch to pitch.
Tens or hundreds of millions of dollars are at
stake - so why can't they get it right?
I think it's a lot like health care: The people in charge make so many
millions of dollars,
why would they want to change things and make it fair?
After the game the head umpire said the blind fool "felt
real bad," but who gives a fuck?
Instant replay would fix this, but the good-old-boys don't want the
game to be played fair.
They want the sainted Yankess to win ever year and that's killing what's
left of baseball.
It's hard enough for a team to play against Steinbrenner's wallet.
When Reggie Jackson beat the Yankees, Steinbrenner bought him.
When Roger Clemens beat the Yankees, Steinbrenner bought him.
When Johnny Damon beat the Yankees, Steinbrenner bought him.
Baseball is turning into professional wrestling.
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Shopping online?
Use this Amazon
portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
pennies from each dollar.
Special offer from Amazon.com
Panasonic HDC-HS250-K HHD HD Camcorder
Price - $239.99
That's a great price.
My low-def camcorder cost me $800 many years ago.
U2 - Biggest gamblers ever?
Excerpt:
"At the first show in Barcelona (June 30), we
realized, wow, it's working incredibly well," guitarist Edge, 48, said
"On a good night, the production, the songs,
the audience, the videos, the architecture become this amazing event. Often
in these
big stadiums, you feel, 'Why am I here?
I could be home listening to the CD.' This show makes sense of playing
stadiums."
It may only make sense for U2, a band with the fan base, budget and musical might to pull it off.
The tour's in-the-round configuration boosts capacity
by roughly 20%, enabling the band to break attendance records in every
venue.
U2 packed 84,472 into Giants Stadium, the venue's
largest crowd ever, eclipsing the 82,948 drawn to Pope John Paul II in
1995.
Each of the three "claw" structures that leapfrog
along the itinerary requires 37 trucks and cost upward of $40 million.
The trek entails a total fleet of 200 trucks,
a crew of 400 and a daily overhead of $750,000.
Wow!
That's betting $21 million dollars every month.
We're going to see the U2 show this week.
I hope it's not 35 degrees and raining.
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Wanda retakes the Crown
Maybe the last 3-4 years, I've said Kathy
Griffin is the funniest woman in America.
I love her, she has balls of steel and
she has the balls to let the camera film her crying.
More honest than Howard Stern?
Oh, I have an opinion about that!
Kathy rules, but Wanda's HBO special was up there
in the stratosphere.
If you don't know, Wanda wrote for Chris Rock
for years and years.
For all we know, Wanda was Rock's writer/teacher
in the nineties when he buss open.
But her performance Saturday nite was right up
there with the greats.
She did sex, she did race, she did health care,
she did gay rights...
It was part Richard Pryor, part Chris Rock, ...maybe
some Earfquake?
Is there anything more fun than a stand-up
comic who's just killing you?
Back before he turned Bush bastard, Dennis Miller
was talking about the first time he ever
saw Sam Kinison live in a club in LA and he said
he asked his comedy friends at the table
(Belzer? Robin Williams, somebody big) "Have
you
ever laughed that hard in your life?"
Catch this Wanda Sykes special on HBO all this week.
It'll take time and further viewings to know how
good it was,
but I'ma say it, it's gotta be in the Top
Ten Standups Ever.
Look for slices of that in the soon-to-be-released
BCR
159.
Sidebar:
Kathy, I still think you own the world.
But now it's up to you to get your funniest woman in America
crown back.
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Subject: John Lennon
Bart
Just wanted to mention that today is John Lennon's
birthday.
To those of us of a certain vintage he is still
a hero and martyr.
Kerry M.. NW Indiana
I say it every four years.
Can you imagine (no pun) the chill when John
Lennon takes the stage at the Democratic convention?
Followed by Martin Luther King, Bobby, then Jack?
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Y o u r
A d
H e r e
Trust me - dozens of people read that.
If YOUR ad was here, people would
know about you and your products.
Still the best advertising bargain on the Net
Banner ads by the day,
by the week,
or by the month
Check out the toons and stuff
on the Bart Blog!
Cowboys beat winless Chiefs in overtime
"Well we're 2-2, so we're not the prettiest
bride in the church right now either
We just got to go play. We have to
play hard. In this league, anybody can beat you.
We found that out last year in St.
Louis."
-- Cowboys defensive end Marcus
Spears, Link
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Worldwide Bartcop
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Want
to sell stuff everywhere?
Advertise on bartcop.com
Why sell just to America when you can sell to the whole world?
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Subject: Donation
or send a "Good Karma Offering." check to
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Megan Fox's Bisexual Seal of Approval
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