Weekend-Monday April 3-5, 2010 Vol
2501 - Quippy and tart
Quote of
the Day
"Michael Steele's problem isn't the race card; it's the credit card." -- Robert Gibbs, trying to be funny
.
In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
It's Palin's
Party Now
Dems turn
Teabagger
39th annual
Hash Bash
Obama’s
Base Problem
The Catholic
Catastrophe
Rapes cost
Cath's $3 Billion
Tim McVeigh
wannabees
Lauren
Conrad’s Hair
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Quotes
"My friends think Obama is doing a good to
excellent job. Sure they don't like this decision, or that cave-in, but on the whole, they think highly of him.
And so, I often remind them of my particular pet peeve, that the torturers and murderers of the Bush/Cheney
regime simply must be brought to justice, hauled into a court or - at the absolute very least - forced to
reveal all to a truth and reconciliation commission. And that to his everlasting discredit, Obama shows negative
inclination to do so." -- Tristero Link
Excerpt: Sarah Palin doesn't really do compromise. Defiance
is more her style. So when other Rethugs began to go soft on
their promises to "repeal and replace" Barack
Obama's landmark health care reform, the publicity whore went rogue.
Palin appeared at a rally for McCain in and urged
the GOP faithful not to quail now. "I see Fidel Castro likes
Obamacare, and we don't," she taunted. "Doesn't
that tell you something?"
Palin is consolidating her position as the most
powerful person in the Republican party. She signed a deal reportedly
worth millions to do a series about Alaska on
TLC, and she'll add that gig to her richly compensated duties at Fox News,
where she is an occasional political pundit.
She has another book on the way, following the best seller Going Rogue,
and numerous private speaking engagements. She
remains hotly in demand.
At the same time, she is maneuvering for position
as the race for 2012 warms up. Palin is making time to help a roster
of Republican candidates between now and November.
She laughs off the notion that rough language might incite further
acts of aggression against Democrats; instead,
she's put crosshair markings on her Facebook page to identify lawmakers
she has targeted for defeat in the fall election.
Quippy and tart, she mocks the "lamestream media" for distracting voters
by distorting GOP positions. And by carefully
controlling her own visibility, she has become more irresistible as cable-news
and viral content.
If the Democrats had any brains (Should I bother to finish this sentence?)
they would
constantly repeat the phrase, "Palin runs
the GOP now - it's the Palin party."
That would force the GOP to admit or deny that.
If they admit it, every lie and idiotic thing she says becomes property
of the GOP.
If they deny it, it starts a civil war in the GOP that would benefit
Democrats.
But, of course, the Dems won't do this because it's free, easy and guaranteed
to work.
Excerpt: They are not typical Teabaggers: A woman who
voted for Obama and believes he's a "phenomenal speaker."
Another who said she was a "knee-jerk, bleeding
heart liberal."
These two women are not alone.
Some Americans who say they have been sympathetic
to Democratic causes in the past -- some even voted for
Democratic candidates -- are angry with Obama
and his party. They say they are now supporting the Teabaggers
and the defeat of Democrats even though it's
not formally aligned with the Republican Party.
To be sure, the number of Democrats in the Tea
Party movement is small. A recent CNN poll shows that while
96% of Teabaggers identify themselves as either
Republican or Independent, only 4 percent say they are Democrats.
Well, if only 4 percent are Democrats, what's
the point of this "news" article?
Excerpt: There is an interesting and very modern thing
that often happens when individuals join and rise within
mighty and venerable institutions. They come
to think of the institution as invulnerable - to think that there
is nothing they can do to really damage it, that
the big, strong, proud establishment they're part of can take
any amount of abuse, that it doesn't require
from its members an attitude of protectiveness because it's so
strong, and has lasted so long...
And it happened in the Catholic Church, where
hundreds of priests and bishops thought they could do anything,
any amount of damage to the church, and it would
be fine. "Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church,
and the gates of hell shall not prevail against
it." That is Mathew 16:18, of course, Christ's great promise to his church.
Catholics in the pews have been repeating it
a lot lately as they - we - absorb the latest round of scandal stories.
"The old church will survive." But we see the
damage the scandals have done more clearly than church leaders .
It is damage that will last at least a generation.
It is an actual catastrophe, a rolling catastrophe that became public
first in the United States, now in Europe. It
has lowered the standing, reputation and authority of the church.
This will have implications down the road.
In both the U.S. and Europe, the scandal was dug up and made famous
by the press. This has aroused resentment among
church leaders, who this week accused journalists of spreading
"gossip," of going into "attack mode" and showing
"bias."...
Did Ari Fleischer quit working for Eldrick so
he could advise the Vatican?
Their attempts at blaming the press for these
rapes is very Bush-Cheney.
Like the Bush bastards, the church will deny,
delay and obfuscate
because they know the public has the attention
span of a ferret on caffiene.
Subject: Obama answers race question
on Census wrong
When I filled out my census form I decided that
I wasn't going to answer the race questions for two reasons.
First, racial classifications is in itself a
form of racism in that we are not racially equal until race is unimportant.
But an even better reason is that the question
is scientifically meaningless.
President Obama answer on the census form is one
of the best examples of how scientifically meaningless
the race question is. Obama answered that he
was "African-American" even though he mother is white.
So he didn't follow the rules. But more importantly,
from the perspective of biological anthropology,
there isn't any one gene, characteristic, or
trait that distinguished race. In the human race there is
extremely little genetic diversity and if you
go back far enough, we all come from Africa.
What we call race is really a social construct
that describes cultural and language differences and the way
different groups interact with the world. And
even from that perspective Obama is a mutt. I think if I had it
to do over again I would have written in mutt,
because that is what we all really are. I think we would get
over the race issu faster if we all started considering
all of us to be the same race.
"I know it didn’t happen. There’s no evidence
it happened. If they had videotape evidence that
it had happened, they would have shown it. -- the vulgar Pigboy, on Rep John
Lewis's claim he was called "nigger" by teabaggers, Link
"Of course, if Pelosi and friends did take
the tunnels, we would have heard how they’re nothing more than a bunch of cowards
afraid to face an angry crowd. And how does Limbaugh know that the racial slur
did not happen? 'Cause he says so. That’s why. And as we all know, pigboy is a teller
of truth." -- Mario Piperni,
Link
Here's a good lie from Senator Olympia Snowe,
R-Maine:
"Faulting Congress for adjourning for a two-week
recess without reaching agreement on the extension of unemployment benefits, Snowe said unemployed
Mainers should not bear the burden of lawmakers’ indecision and partisan disagreements. Republicans
have endorsed a bill to extend unemployment benefits and health insurance subsidies for jobless
workers, but
the measure has been blocked by Democrats."
I'm sure you'll be pleased that your Sen. Coburn,
who put a hold
on the extension of unemployment benefits, has
become a Democrat.
I'm trying to get this lie seen all over the Internet,
so that it will be known
what a LIAR, or a joker, my senile Senator is.
Neil in Maine
Excerpt: The pedophile priest crisis has cost the Catholics
nearly $3 billion in the United States, but only a fraction
of the scumbags have been jailed and little
nothing has been done to punish those who covered up the crimes.
After years of painful revelations, massive payouts,
soul searching and reforms, the child sex abuse scandal
has spread across the globe and in recent weeks
has struck the Church at its very core.
Pope Benny the Rat is facing allegations that
he helped protect predator priests
when he was the Vatican's chief morals enforcer.
"We now face the largest institutional crisis
in centuries, possibly in church history," the US-based
National Catholic Reporter wrote in an editorial
demanding "direct answers" from the Holy Father.
The independent newspaper decried the "mismanagement"
of the crisis and insisted that "the strategies
employed so far -- taking the legal path, obscuring
the truth, and doing everything possible to protect
perpetrators as well as the church's reputation
and treasury -- have failed miserably."
A CBS News poll showed Benny the Rat's favorability
rating has fallen to 27 percent.
WOW!
Only 27 percent of Catholics have a favorable opinion of the f-ing Pope?
"If you voted for Obama...seek urologic care
elsewhere." -- Sign posted on the office door of Florida urologist
Dr. Jack Cassell, (R-Crybaby) Link
"Maybe he thinks the Hippocratic Oath says,
'Do no good'. If this is the face of the right wing
in America, it's the face of cruelty. Why don't they change the name of the
Republican Party to the Sore Loser Party?" -- Rep Alan Grayson, one of the only fighters in our party
Link
"The emergence of official tea party candidates
would be welcome in the White House. A powerful and energetic counterweight
would destroy the unified opposition it helped create. A potential electoral majority on the
threshold of victory would become two minority factions almost certain to share in defeat,
and a movement inspired to stop the big-government agenda would suddenly become its tool." -- Dan Quayle, no longer the dumbest
handjob in the GOP, Link
Excerpt: Thousands of marijuana proponents, many smoking
pot, crowded the University of Michigan's Diag
on Saturday for the 39th-annual Hash Bash.
Police estimated 5,000 people were there, drawn by
sunshine as well as enthusiasm for Michigan's
15-month-old law legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes.
"How many of you are patients? Hold up your cards!"
shouted Hash Bash emcee Adam Brook, 42, of Royal Oak.
Hundreds held aloft the state cards that show
they are patients who can legally possess up to 2.5 ounces of the weed.
Openly smoking was Dennis Stoffer, 45, of Port
Huron, in a wheelchair since a 2006 motorcycle accident.
"Time to come out and support the cause," said
his wife, Becky Stoffer, 53.
Marijuana is much better for her husband than
the side effects of the powerful pain pills he once took, she said.
"The only side effect (from marijuana) is him
getting the munchies," she said,
Oklahoma will be the 50th state to do the right thing.
"Obama just said, 'No company is going to make
investments for a public good.' Good Lord! What they hell do they do?
I've always known that liberals despise corporations, but I never knew it was
this vitriolic!" -- Rush, saying corporate America would be
happy to pay for new roads, bridges and tunnels.
Bart, Obama is talking about off shore drilling,
so the Repukes won't have that to chant about.
If he says he'll do it, they can't scream that
they want it, because that would be agreeing with him,
and we know the G.O.P. (Greedy Old Perverts)
would never agree with Obama.
So they don't have it to campaign on come November.
Janet
Excerpt: The perplexing irony of Obama’s presidency
is that even as conservatives attack him as a crazed socialist,
many on the left are frustrated with what they
see as the president’s backtracking from campaign promises.
"If there is an interest group completely happy
with Obama, they’ve done a great job of keeping quiet about it,"
said Jim Kessler, vice president of the centrist
group Third Way.
The difference between the two sides is that the
left’s complaints are more reality-based.
Obama has often failed to do things that have
understandably disappointed various constituencies.
The latest irritant is Obama’s move to expand
offshore drilling. “Obama is antagonizing yet another
key Democratic constituency,” liberal blogger
John Aravosis wrote after Obama’s announcement...
The offshore drilling decision is a perfect illustration
of Obamaism’s pragmatic progressivism.
Substantively, the president is attracted to
split-the-difference solutions: allow drilling here, block it there.
Politically, he is a horse-trader, not a line-drawer.
Given his supporters' "extravagant unrealism",
says the Brookings Institution's William Galston,
"there was no way he could fulfill all those
promises - not in his first year, not in his first term, not ever."
Obama's decision to put all his chips on health
care guaranteed that those with competing priorities
would be frustrated. The unexpected length of
the health care fight only aggravated that reaction."
If Obama's supporters are guilty of "extravagant
unrealism", it's because they
believed him when he said he wasn't like every
other politician in America.
"Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, when people
try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when
people try to fool the IRS." -- Jay Leno, trying to be funny again
Subway stuck with super-swimmer Michael Phelps
after his outrageous marijuana "scandal" and I like that.
I try to eat there once a week to reward them.
If you're a subscriber or donator you'll find the jokes funnier and the stories more interesting.
Besides, there are 162
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Quotes
"Democrats cannot win elections without capturing
the votes of independent-minded swing voters. And that is where writing off the tea
party as a bunch of racist kooks becomes self-destructive. "
-- Juan Williams (R-Oreo) giving sincere advice to Democrats, Link
HANNITY: See, can I add one thing? I think we
won the debate.
DREIER: We did win the debate.
HANNITY: When you think about the vast majorities
that they have in Congress and they had to bribe,
backroom deals, corruption, that’s all because the tea party movement,
the people
— all these Tim McVeigh wannabes here.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HANNITY: Guys, thank you for being here.
After stealing thousands of dollars from military
families,
now Hannity applauds the teabaggers for being
McVeigh wannabes?
Use this Amazon
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Where do you find Hannity's book?
With the other douches, of course.
Quotes
"A group of sixth graders tied me to a tree,
spray-painted the word 'nigger' on me, and threw rocks at me. That was my first day of school. And
the teacher really didn't do much of anything."
-- Eldrick, making a claim, Link
"No such incident ever occurred to Tiger Woods
while he was under my care as a kindergarten pupil on the
first day of class,"
-- Eldrick's teacher, Mrs Decker, Link
"No teacher should ever be treated in such
a callous and unfair manner especially one such as Ms. Decker. The time for Tiger
Woods to make direct amends to her is now."
-- Gloria Allred, ambulance-chasing whore, Link
Does Gloria Allred have a job that's not related to sucking money
out of Eldrick?
So drilling as much as possible within our borders
isnt a reasonable part of a comprehensive energy policy?
Buying it from the Saudis as we gradually convert
over to other energy sources is better?
This announcement wasnt a "strikeout"...you were
saying the same thing during the health care war,
and the dude hit a f-ing grand slam in the ninth.
Didnt the fact that he just did something no U.S. president
has been able to do (HCR) make you want to hold
your criticisms in check until the final whistle?
T stumpf
Did you say the health care plan is a grand slam?
What would you call the plan the Democrats originally wanted?
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