Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

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Quotes
 
"If I were them, I’d be really careful riding that birther horse too much. Everyone knows it’s ludicrous.
 Questioning Obama’s birthplace might attract some conservative voters, but a very different America
 votes in presidential elections than in midterm congressional elections."
    -- Big Dog, warning that idiot Trump that he's headed off a cliff with that birther nonsense    Link

 
 Republicans are so stupid and so easy to fool.

 I coulda been rich if I didn't have a conscience.


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Subject: Jeff Beck on Leno?

Bart, you wrote:

> Rumor: 
> Jeff Beck on Leno Thurs nite
 
I had some small respect left for Beck, but if he finds
professional integrity fawning on Jay Leno, then count me out.
 
And you think such an appearance is what, wonderful?
 Richard the idiot


Richard, why would you ask such a dumb question?
What's next, "Do you like Shirley, poker and fine tequila?"

You're saying when I posted that alert, I should have known then
that Jeff Beck was going to fawn over Leno?

(That was written BEFORE I saw the tape)

Richard, you idiot, that was Gary Busey fawning over Leno.

All Jeff Beck said to him was "Thanks" and then Busey came over
and acted like he was going to punch Jeff and then my DVR ran out.

It's still a young year, but so far you're winning "Stupidest e-mail of 2011."


BTW, that song Jeff Beck did?
Anybody remember Steven Tyler's version of that?


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This Week in Holy Crimes
These 'men of God' are here to molest and steal

  Link

Over the last seven days...

Alabama: Pastor Barry Albert Cook charged with sexual abuse and torture of a child.
South Carolina: Pastor Jonathan Roberts charged with felonious theft of church money.
New York: Father Thomas Kreiser charged with using $25K in church donations for online gambling.
Wisconsin: Pastor Philip Caminiti charged with eight felony counts of child abuse for beating children.
Oklahoma: Pastor Vincent Brookfield charged with seven felony counts of molesting a seven year-old girl.
North Carolina: Pastor Paul Burke Johnson charged with sexual battery on a mentally impaired woman.
Iowa: Pastor Patrick Edouard charged with raping three women in his congregation.
Utah: Pastor Aaron Witcher sentenced to five years to life on two counts of rape of a minor.
Pennsylvania: Father Ralph Johnson sentenced to four years in prison for child molestation.
New York: Rabbi Saul Kassin confesses to scheme involving sales of human organs and counterfeit handbags.
Florida: Teacher at private Christian school charged with beating a 12 year-old boy unconscious
Wisconsin: Father Joseph Gibbs charged with fondling a teenage girl.
Illinois: Imprisoned child molester Father Donald McGuire reveals his parish knew of his crimes and did nothing.

And think of the thousands of kids who were raped last week and didn't tell...
After all, this is God's representative and he said it was OK.

Religion - what is it good for?
Absolutely nothing, say it again.


Send e-mail to Bart

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Subject: bad wig?

Hi Bartcop,
I don't think Trump has a wig - it's a bad comb over.
 
This should be a treat:
 
"Donald Trump will lead 33 cars to the green flag as driver
  of the pace car at this year's Indianapolis 500 on May 29."
 
The pace car is a convertable. Picture all that hair blowing in the wind.
 Jack G
 

ha ha
I can't wait for that.



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For more of Astrocat's work, Go Here

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Subject: Much love to Sally for her recap

Bart:

I just wanted to give a shout-out to Sally for her great American Idol re-cap.
I’m not quite as disgusted as she was with last week's show but I respect where she was coming from.
I cringed throughout the covers of Janis Joplin and Aretha Franklin. Those are two singers you don’t
go anywhere near unless you have world-class pipes and the power to drive them. There’s a reason
those two women are legends. Merely hitting the notes isn’t enough when singing their songs.
It’s embarrassing watching these mere children thrash around in city-block-sized shoes they will never, ever fit into.

I don’t hate Pia, but the favoritism showed her by the judges and having Christian Slater’s daughter
cheer for her is disturbing. The outfit was stupid but I enjoyed looking at her ample round parts
doing their ample round best to give it shape.

The judges seemed trapped by their overly effusive praise when they started out and seemed unwilling
to offer real criticism. I was in my chair thinking, “Weak…weak…oh, Jesus, why’d you pick THAT song?
Weak…weak….(etc.)”

Steven Tyler has been the main reason to watch the show. He needs to get the edge back that he had
during auditions though, when he asked that guy, “Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?”

Anyway, nice work. Thanks to Sally for writing it, and bless the BartCop for printing it. 
  Roy
 

Roy, I'm 100% with you in that the judges should criticize the kids for their stupid choice of songs.
So many of them pick a song because "I always loved that song" as opposed to singing a song that
would showcase their singing talent in the best light.

Jennifer Lopez has gotten a hueueueuge career boost by joining Idol but Tyler is the BIG winner.
He's now a household name and after a 40-year career, he's suddenly loved by fans of all ages.
 


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Purecostumes.com

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What I want in a POTUS
 by Tally 

   Link



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Subject: hey crotch sniffer

I've been following your certifiably insane, defensive, adolescent outbursts in defense of your corporate whore, Hillary.
You are the most pathetic excuse for a blogger in the "liberal" blogging community.

Am not.

You linger on the edges of the big time but will always be nothing but a weird also ran because of your
laughable and moronic positions on such things as the Israeli/Palestine problem and your ludicrous,
hero worshipping idolization of the corrupt Cllntons.

So, I could hit the big time if I took a side in a 4,000 year old illogic contest?
Can you name someone on this planet who has followed your plan and succeeded?

I've seen people time after time specifically list the bills that Boobba signed which together made for
the greatest deregulation of corporate whoredom in history, and you blithely and blitheringly ignore it all
and continue in your pathetic folly. 

Clinton was the best president of our lifetimes and YOU can't name a more successful president
so in youir frustration, you throw your feces at the Clintons and call yourself "enlightened."

Your site is often quite funny but it's marred by so many truly asinine blindspots that,
in the end, the only lasting joke is you.
  Ruprecht the Hater


Monkey, YOU can't name a better president than Clinton.
That means you agree with me, so why did you bother to write?


Send e-mail to Bart

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Reverend Kiley Delivers Labor's Invocation

This guy sounds like me,
...if I had a brain and believed.

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Eldrick Quotes
 
"This year, we know exactly what to expect from Eldrick Woods: not much.
  He's been rocky at best, disastrous at worst, in his events in 2011. He hasn't
  won a tournament since before anyone knew what a Justin Bieber was."
    -- Jay Busbee, after Day One of the Masters       Link



"What’s the matter with you? Are you crazy?  You need to get your head examined!
  You’re ruining your life!  You NEVER change! It’s time for you to grow up!
  If your father knew, he’d be turning in his grave.”
    -- Kultida Woods, to her disgraced son for dating a 22-year old party girl,       Link



Send e-mail to Bart

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Subject: leaving Obama

Hey Bart,

I am one of those who is -- and has been -- fed up with Obama.
I will not vote for him, and will in fact, actively campaign against him.

In the primary.

But when it comes down to the ugly reality, I guess I would HAVE to
vote for the lesser of two evils. Yep, it's still an evil; but it's the lesser.

Had the electorate only listened to us last time around, we would have that
evil-murdering-collusionist bitch in the White House and I think we'd all be
better off for it. At least she doesn't forfeit the game prior to it starting.

Keep Swingin', Okie.
 JRS

P.S. That evil bitch business? That's supposed to be humor.


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GOP memo released
 
Dear Americans Who Are Not Rich,

Can't afford health care? Screw you.
Want the food you eat to be safe? How quaint.
Deficit reduction? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!
Want Social Security to be preserved? You're an idiot.
In foreclosure hell? La la la we can't hear you!
Concerned about the environment? Crybaby.
You want stronger unions? Good luck with that, commie.
Unemployment benefits running out? Quit whining.
Muslim? Latino? Gay? Un-American.
Looking for fresh new ideas? Move to Scandinavia.
Think you can count on us to stimulate job growth? Hell no you can't!
Reproductive freedom? We own your private parts, little lady.
Don’t want the government to default on its debts? Too bad!
Want the rich to be taxed more? In a pig's eye.
Wish we'd put America's interests above our own? Keep dreaming.

Love and Freedom Fries,
The New Republican House Majority
   P.S. Like cake? Eat all you want.


 Send e-mail to Bart

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Subject: I want Bartcop.com to survive
Bart, I read about your fund-raising problems and I'm here to help.
I will add 50% to any donation you get up to $1,000.

If a reader sends in $50, instead of giving them 6 months of Bartcop Radio
please give them 9 months and I'll send you $25.

You've kept me sane in some crazy times,
Midnight Avenger

Update

A second reader offered to match donations up to $1,000.

We are currently at $1,940 so only $60 to go.

Thanks to all who have contributed.

OR send a 'love' check to

 bartcop.com
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 Click to Donate   to bartcop@bartcop.com

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Subject: the Barry Bonds trial

Now the jury has the case.
The Federal prosecutor mentioned in his closing arguments, "all he to do was tell the truth."
Since so much in this trial was about shrunken testicles, perhaps Bonds did not have the balls to tell the truth?
 BSmasher


News: Today, jurors deciding Barry Bonds' fate will hear for a second time the testimony
of a woman who said she saw baseball's Home Run King inject himself with a syringe.
 
What's the point?
She can't testify as to what was in the syringe.

I am very much against this stupid, time-wasting, money-wasting trial.

Bush, Cheney, Rummy and Powell lied 5,000 soldiers into their graves


               "This is proof that Saddam has WMDs..."

...and they are treated like f-ing heroes by our lying whore media.

Who cares if Bonds "cheated" in baseball?
How many soldiers did Bonds kill?

Why is Bonds on trial - for being Black?


Send e-mail to Bart

On Wednesday, is he going to announce Medicare "reform?"
If so, he's selling us out to Bitch & Boner.

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How much power is in a bottle of water?
  The answer will surprise you

 Link



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Subject: American Idol

Dear Bart:
I’m one of those very, very proud people who’ve never seen AMERICAN IDOL.
 Stu the New York lawyer


Stu, you didn't say why, so I'll have to guess:

My friend Wiseguy hates Americal Idol even tho he's never seen it.
Why does he hate it?  Because everyone's always talking about it.
You can't open a TV Guide or a USA Today without getting someone's opinion.

And I don't care if people watch or not, I just think it's funny that it's the
biggest television show in the world but there are almost no liberals in America
who are willing to admit they watch it and that makes me wonder why.

Don't you think there's some major drama in a live show that changes people's lives?
Each week now, those kids stand in line and they're either told to go home or to
prepare for next week as they take a step closer to being the next Carrie Underwood.

Some may become mega-millionaires and live in mansions and become superstars
while most of them will return to the hardware store where they worked in 2010.

So, you're not a fan of drama?
Or are you like Wiseguy, hating things because others like them?


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