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Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Vol 2711 - Paragon of prolixity
Cat-fight
Quotes
"Every time we saw Meghan McCain, she seemed to be constantly checking us out, comparing my family to hers and complaining. Oh the complaining. Cindy McCain looked like a queen and conducted herself like royalty. I'd never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup... That is, until Mom came into all those millions." -- Bristol Palin, a chip off the Old Bitch, Link Send e-mail to Bart Halliburton
re-rapes the Victim
Goliath punishes little people who complain Link On Tuesday attorneys for KBR went through Jones’ medical records showing a history of prescriptions for anti-depressant medication. What? You mean being drugged and gang-raped can be depressing? The most expensive legal jackals in Texas are going after Jamie Leigh Jones. How dare she not take her gang rape "like a man." How dare she object to being held against her will in a locked and guarded trailer! Jones signed the contract where she "agreed" to be gang-raped. Looks like she's not a "team player" when it comes to "company morale." This might look bad on her work resume. Send e-mail to Bart Shopping online?
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on her fine, fine Entertainment Page Marty's TV Listings are the best Marty always has good stuff. Quotes "The only thing pot does for me is it gets me to stop thinking. Sometimes my brain needs to be turned off. Some people are just better high." -- Justin Timberlake, on the medicinal advantages of pot, Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Gates's Gates's" is not the correct possessive spelling. "Gates' " is the correct way of writing it. DanD DanD, you're kidding, right? Don't explain proper spelling to someone who was held prisoner by Catholic nuns for 12 years. You think the possessive of Gates is Gates' ? Do you even know any Catholic nuns? Send e-mail to Bart Gingrich fundraisers quit Hang it up, Newt, you'll never be president Link Gingrich's top two fundraising advisers resigned on Tuesday, and officials said the bastard's hobbling presidential campaign carried more than $1 million in debt. The departures were the latest blow for the serial adulterer who watched 16 top advisers abandon his campaign en masse earlier this month, partly because of what people familiar with the campaign spending described as a dire financial situation. Hey Newt, you gonna demand an apology from Yahoo for reporting these facts? Hey Newt - everybody hates you. Even the people at FOX News hate you. My advice is to drop out of this race and take a long vacation and begin your search for a younger tramp with whom you can cheat on your too-many miles current wife. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Uncle Lou no one got it? Bart, I got it. I didn't bite though, cuz I figured everybody would remember Uncle Lou. Wrong again. I sent you this picture in 2008. My photo, a Monday night at Fat Tuesdays, late '80s probably. Ross Ross, nice picture. When we met Les and Uncle Lou in 2008, Lou was unbelievably nice to us. He met us at Rudy's Guitar Shop in Times Square so we could get a BIG discount on some Les Paul guitars for Les and Lou to sign. My friend Perry bought a Les Paul guitar for each of his three sons - all autographed by Les and Lou. Send e-mail to Bart The newest sticker is in! Here's the deal: Pick three of any one sticker, then one of each of the remaining four... Plus an old-fashined oval like President Bartlet has... And I'll throw in a Bush WPE frig magnet for FREE!! Never let them forget THEY had the WPE! That's three of any single sticker (already a $20 value) and one each of the other four stickers and a WPE magnet ...all for just $26 Your order could look like this: 8 pieces ...all for just $26 We take credit cards Click to Subscribe or Donate
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OR$10 Welfare stickers each, three for $20 Paypal to bartcop@bartcop.com Reagan and Revenues by Paul Krugman Link There was no Reagan revenue miracle; growth slowed. There was a Clinton miracle. And there was a Bush II reverse miracle. Clinton wrote the blueprint for fixing the economy. Clinton raised taxes on the super-rich - that led to good times. Too bad President Obama decided to reject his sound advice. Obama gave the super-rich ANOTHER trillion dollars - and we're in financial Hell. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: iPhone's Gas Buddy app Hey Bart, Here in Manistee we don't need a Gas Buddy. All the gas stations change their prices all at the same time all the same price. But I'm sure there is no price fixing going on. Peace Joe Joe, you must be wrong. Our government would never allow the oil gougers to manipulate the price of gasoline. "When it comes to GOP crimes, it's important that we look forward." Send e-mail to Bart Blood on the Chopping Block Link The Republican Party has spent the last several weeks receiving an education - by way of serial beatings delivered by constituents from sea to shining sea - on the awesome power of Medicare in America. When it became known that Rep. Paul Ryan's plan to turn the wildly popular program into a privatized disaster zone had been adopted as the battle standard for the GOP and its newly-muscular Tea Party bloc, seven different breeds of merry hell broke loose across the land. House member after House member climbed out of the DC bubble, went home to their districts, and were promptly set upon by furious people who deeply depend on Medicare. Translation: People hate the GOP. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Libya Bart, Obama has the power to initiate conflict unilaterally. (as does anybody with an army) The law requires that he get approval from Congress before sixty days. Does Obama need permission from congress to have aircraft carriers and AWACS sit offshore and help our allies bring down a murderous dictator? I said this last issue - if our soldiers were dying, that would be different. Are you worried about the cost of saving Libyan lives? So to put this in the Pizza Hut model, you've stopped the linebacker, other patrons are holding his arms and legs and you're kicking him repeatedly in the balls. Not sure that's applicable - the drunk is still killing people as we speak. Being drunk and stupid, he keeps saying he's going to beat that woman. The police come in and tell you to knock it off. Is there any justification to your continuing to kick him in the balls? Other than to make you feel good? Morte First, stopping the genocide is its own reward. Second, there are no "police" to show up and relieve us. We're going to bang on Gadaffy until he leaves. Why would anybody be against stopping genocide? Why do liberals see all military action as wrong? Is it your assertion Gadaffy can be reasoned with? Sometimes, mad dogs need to be put down. Feeling guilty about saving lives is illogical. Send e-mail to Bart Who's holding
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Send e-mail to Bart Bart, that's HOT Stephanie Miller. I met her twice - smart and beautiful, then she came out of the closet and broke my heart. Here's a photoshop of me and her in the tunnel of love. - JPL Mark Click for subscription info, FAQs and Options Why subscribe? There are 173 shows online to listen to. Anyone out there have graphics skills? I could use new Bartcop Radio Graphics. You can select a monthly
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View from my Window Link Randy has a home in the Philippines. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Twitter tip Bart, you have to follow people back in order to get a large following. Following back is the only way people can contact you privately on twitter. If you don't mutually follow then any tweet they send you is public. And they might want to contact you privately via twitter. Yvette Yvette, thanks for that. I already have more e-mail than I can answer. I can't imagine what it would be like to have dozens of people trying to start a conversations on twitter. Send e-mail to Bart Slappy, our most crooked judge "I may be whore for Whitey, but I'm a highly paid whore..." Link The New York Times reports on Clarence Thomas’ highly fruitful relationship with a right-wing millionaire named Harlan Crow. Crow has donated nearly $5 million to Republican candidates and conservative organizations, including $100,000 to the Swift Boat Liars— and he has also been very generous to Justice Thomas and his white wife: Since the mid-1990s, Crow has done many favors for Slappy and Virginia Thomas, helping finance a Savannah library project dedicated to Justice Thomas and reportedly providing $500,000 for Ms. Thomas to start a Teabagger group. ...and this moron wants us to believe those millions aren't bribes? I remember when one of Clinton's cabinet members, Henry Cisneros, was "caught" accepting free Dallas Cowboy tickets and plane ride to the game - THAT was the crime of the century. Cisneros had to pay and fine and resign. But Slappy The Wonder Judge can accept $500K in CASH and that's OK? I guess it depends on whether you have an "R" or a "D" after your name.. Send e-mail to Bart Tonight, Obama's going to "sell" us the idea that staying in Afghanistan is the right move. I hate being lied to by a Democratic president. He's going to announce the pull-out of maybe 10,000 troops, with the PROMISE that another 30,000 will come home by the end on 2012, an election year. Then he's going to PROMISE that they'll be completely out by 2014. But (I got money) when 2012 and 2014 arrive, he's going to say, "Who could've predicted that we'd have to stay longer?" I f-ing can and I'm doing it right now. Mark a calendar somwhere so in 2012 and 2014, when Obama says, "Who could've predicted?" you can say, "Bart did, on June 22, 2011." Send e-mail to Bart Subject: The Tulsa race riot of 1921 Bart: II did not know this. Maybe you can shed some more light on the subject. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/20/us/20tulsa.html?em&exprod=myyahoo fred Fred, I don't know a lot about it other than... They say in 1921 a Black man was SUSPECTED of looking at the legs of a white lady who operated the elevator back before they were automatic. Whitey went crazy and burned down the Black part of town. Things are maginally better now, but Teabaggers racism still rages. Send e-mail to Bart Indiana to Poor: Drop f-ing Dead Planned Parenthood de-funded there Link Thousands of low-income Planned Parenthood of Indiana patients were left fending for themselves Tuesday to pay for birth control, breast exams, Pap tests and other medical services while a court battle continued over a new state law that eliminated the organization's Medicaid funding. Planned Parenthood began turning away Medicaid patients who couldn't pay for its medical services Tuesday, one day after private donations that had paid those patients' bills ran out. A state law that took effect May 10 denied Planned Parenthood the Medicaid funds it uses to pay for general health services it provides to low-income women at its 28 Indiana clinics. The group is seeking a preliminary injunction to block Indiana's law, and a ruling is expected by July 1. As Planned Parenthood awaits that ruling, the group said about 9,300 Medicaid patients — both women and men enrolled in the state-federal health insurance program for low-income and disabled people — are now facing "disrupted" medical services under the state's law. Poor people are animals - they don't deserve health care or human dignity. If they can't afford health care, then fuck 'em. If God wanted them to stay alive, He would've had them inheretit money from their rich, white relatives. It's not like the Third Reich, where they're being pushed into ovens. Not at all. Being denied medical care takes a lot longer to kill them, so it's not the same. Plus, if the poor really think health care is important, they can always pack up their cardboard homes and move to a liberal state where poor people aren't hated so much. Send e-mail to Bart I'm not a big Weird Al fan,
but this was too good to pass up. Put your pet's picture on bartcop.com for just $10. Business slow? Time to advertise! Banner ads by the day, by the week, or by the monff Click Here to get more Hits Even if business is slow, let people know you're still here. Who's that Celebrity? Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Actually, Bart the Supreme Court... ...ruled yesterday, 5-4 that a nationwide class action lawsuit challenging sex discrimination in pay and promotions at Wal-Mart cannot go forward. It is a bad enough decision 5-4 that you don’t have to call it unanimous to consider it a horror story, but it really backs up your “how’d ya like to see the Supreme Court after a term or two of any Republican presidential possibility?” Anyway, a bigger hammer (unanimous) isn’t necessary when a little one (5-4) will do the job. Michael Michael, thanks for that. Yes, I make mistakes, but the link I provided clearly said "unanimous." America's whore media - they're f-ing worthless. This is why Obama needs to win in 2012. Soon, those 5-4 rulings will go OUR way. Send e-mail to Bart I will no longer open any e-mail with a blank Subject. Too many viruses are spreading and I get lots of e-mail. If you get the virus and don't know anyone who can fix it, http://www.cat9productions.com/RemoteComputerSupport.html My tech is the BEST Bartcop's Worldwide Computer Repair We clean infected computers. Can we clean yours? Sign up now! We come to you! Send e-mail to Bart Man robs bank for health care Link I guess we were wrong - the GOP always says, "There's medical care out there - if you want it bad enough." Send e-mail to Bart I
need more toons!
I'm having to raid the back issues... Check out the news and toons at
on the Bart Blog! DVR Alert Kathy Griffin tonight, stand-up on Bravo Network According to today's USA Today, Kathy will tear new ones for: Bill O'Reilly, Kirstie Alley, Michelle Bachmann, Charlie Sheen and more. Trust me, you haven't seen someone eviscerated until Kathy's done it. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery City Link Subject: last issue's mystery city Bart, last issue's mystery city is my home town of Calgary, Alberta. Gregor the Tequila aficionado Send e-mail to Bart Today's History Mystery Link Send me your History Mystery pictures Send e-mail to Bart Subject: last issue's history mystery What is last issue's History Mystery? Bart, that would be the Day the Music Died. along side the pilot, Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and Big Bopper. Did you know that Waylon Jennings, a rocker at that point, lost the coin flip to go on the ride? It haunted him the rest of his life. I don't suppose you were at the 1976 Willie Nelson picnic at the Tulsa Fairgrounds? I was. With Asleep at the Wheel, Jessie Coulter, Leon Russell, Lynard Skynard, and Willie and Waylon and the boyz. It was 102 degrees that day, and Waylon mentioned his fortune that day to be there. Some one threw a bag of weed on stage during Willie's set, he never missed a beat, picked it up and stuffed it in his pocket. BSmasher Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Bart, I'll take you up on your sticker deal ("8 pieces ...all for just $26") with a li'l extra sent for donation purposes so you can put food on the kitties. Roy the Hoghead Kansas City MO or Coffeyville KS Roy, the kitties say "Thanks!" If
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