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Weekend-Monday, Aug 15, 2011 Vol 2736 - Preaching thru lunch
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Quotes
"Looks to me like Perry's your GOP nominee. Bachmann's holy rollers will defect to a man. Perry's Tommy Lee Jones impression will make Mitt look like a feckless dude from back east. They won't be able to help themselves. I also don't think it's a given Obama beats him, either. The cowboy archetype transcends even GW Bush; millions yearn to be disciplined." -- Gene Lyons, on Facebook, Link Send e-mail to Bart Perry: Soc Sec 'unconstitutional' Go ahead, America - elect this "Taken" loon Link Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R-Insane) thinks Texas should be able to opt out of Social Security, and he believes that everything from federal public school programs to clean air laws are unconstitutional. Now, Perry makes his most outlandish claim to date — Social Security and Medicare are unconstitutional. "I don’t think our founding fathers when they were putting the term “general welfare” in there were thinking about a federally operated program of pensions nor a federally operated program of health care. What they clearly said was that those were issues that the states need to address. Not the federal government. I syand bery clear on that." I say no way America is going to elect another bragging, religiously-insane Texas Governor. Perry looks to good to the GOP right now for one reason: Their current candidates are shit. Remember 2008? Rudy Giuliani was the second coming of Christ - but he couldn't win a single state in the primaries. Fred Thompson was the second coming of Christ - but he couldn't win a single state in the primaries. The GOP field was so bad in 2008, they had to settle for cranky, old John McCain, who nobody liked. This year the GOP is in the same position - their candidates are shit. They have McCain's swimsuit model, Batshit-crazy Bachmann, and Obama-clone Romney with his magic underpants - and now Rick Take-me-Jesus Perry. Obama could win this election. Send e-mail to Bart
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coming up Sept 1-23 in Hartford, CT. Click Here for More Info Just to be sure... It's wrong to play in a $2 online poker tournament because gambling is BAD. But putting your life savings in the stock market is smart and legal. Just making sure... Send e-mail to Bart Unelectables win big in Iowa Iowa loves candidates who can't win Link The Crazy Party took a step closer to nominating a presidential candidate who makes even moderate Republicans' skin crawl. In that great political bastion of Ames, Iowa this weekend a microscopic percentage of that state's Tea Party faithful ran to the ballot box to officially anoint Michelle Bachmann their Great White Hope. Less than 24 hours later Tim Pawlenty, the sanest next to Jon Huntsman, tossed in the towel. Intelligence, sanity and moderation are not qualifications for Republicans these days. In last Thursday's debate, each candidate was given a chance to show their sanity - none did. The moderator asked, "If given a ten-to-one cut in spending, who would refuse to raise taxes to balance the budget? That is, for every ten dollars in spending reduction, ONE dollar in taxes would be raised. Who would veto that deal?" And, like little sheep, EVERY candidate raised their hands to slap that deal down. Link That proves balancing the budget is NOT the goal of these wacked-out handjobs. Their goal is to blow the rich - and they do that every minute of every day. Unfortunately, our president and his team have NO IDEA how to capitalize on that. *I* could've capitalized on that when I was back in fourth grade, but our crack team in Washington doesn't have the slightest clue how to fight back, even tho Clinton left them the blueprints Now available - details below Send e-mail to Bart Subject: hero worship of slimebags Mr. Barcop, You have received list after verifiable list of the specific legislation that Clinton signed handing over control of the country to the corporations. Yet you mindlessly continue your adolescent hero worship and infatuation with these slimebags. No one can get through to you no matter how may times they give you easily digestible facts. The Telecommunications Act which gave more power to corporations to consolidate media under their power...repeal of Glass Steagal which made the big meltdown possible and several other disastrous acts. Your childishness is legendary in this regard and has made you a standing joke amongst real leftists who pay attention. You have only ignorant groupies and people who read for the humor. Why would anyone bother with you again? Albrecht Lagersfontaine Hanspaiker, an immigrant who knows much more than you about American politics... btw, the way your looney bin is imploding, I'm about to return to the Motherland...and largely because pseudo-Democrats like Mr. Hillary Clinton and her wife, Bill, have turned the Democratic Potty over tho the corpso-rats and destroyed all chance at opposition. Your head is obviously comfortable up your ass ...keep it there for all Hanspaiker cares. Handspanker, you make a really bad first impression, but I'm sure you've been told that before. I don't worship the Clintons and I never said they were perfect. What I've said 1,000 times is that YOU can't name a better Democratic president since FDR. You compare Bill Clinton to some mythical "perfect" president that your Teutonic brain invented, but when you compare him to other real Democratic presidents, he looks pretty damn good. How does ignoring the facts make your case stronger? You chose to ignore the actual words I've written and instead, you substitute your own drunken ramblings and then you somehow convince yourself that *I* must have written them. BTW, people who send lists are the people who can't think for themselves. When I ask "What's wrong with NAFTA?" instead of an answer, people send 40 links. That tells me they have no f-ing idea what's wrong with NAFTA, but they heard Kucinich or Nader say it was bad so they jumped on that bandwagon short of the facts. My childishness is legendary? Again, compared to whom? If you had 6,000-8,000 pages online, we could compare my work to yours, but Google and Yahoo say you are a non-entity. ...yet you claim to speak for the "real Leftists." If you were someone to be taken seriously, would you be throwing your Monkey poop at people who are on the same side as you? You could have written and challenged me like an adult, but you chose the poop-throwing route, instead. That's what makes you a Monkey. Send e-mail to Bart CNN Breaking News Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R-Secede) will announce Saturday in Charleston South Carolina that he is running for president, Republicans familiar with the plans told CNN. Well of course he's announcing in South Carolina. He's sending code to the Carolinian Teabaggers and the religiously-insane to let them know that he thinks Blacks should be returned to slavery. We must assume Philadelphia, Mississippi was busy that day? Question - did he use the "N-word" in his announcement? Send e-mail to Bart Quotes
"I pledge to you I’m not a talker. I’m a doer… And I guarantee you the EPA will have doors locked and lights turned off and they will only be about conservation,” -- Michelle Bachman, saying clean water and clean air were "for pussies and fags." Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Downgrade? Bart, I wonder how much money the insiders at Standard and Poor's made by selling stuff short knowing that on Monday the Market would fall 600 points. I bet they made a bundle. To bad we don't have anyone to look into that. Wolf Wolf, our job is not to judge. Our job is to "look forward," no matter how many billions they steal. "I made a bundle my betting on America to fail, then blocking Obama's plan to save the market." Send e-mail to Bart Batshit's husband, acting like he's never had a long, smooth cylindrical object in his mouth. Trust me, it's clearer than Lake Concha: When you run a cure-the-gays clinic, it's because you have experience fighting those awful, everyday gay feelings that are so darn difficult to overcome ...every day. Sarah Palin Nude!!! Think they'll talk about this one? Link Send e-mail to Bart Bachmann: "Screw the jobless" She went whore-to-whore with David Gregory Link GREGORY: What about extending jobless benefits for people who are out of work? BACHMANN: We frankly don’t have the money. GREGORY: So no on extending jobless benefits. BACHMANN: Right now I don’t think we can afford it. We can't afford it because the super-rich aren't paying taxes. We can't afford it because our wealthiest corporations aren't paying taxes. Pretty soon, the GOP will be telling our disabled soldiers, "We frankly don’t have the money." New shipment in - details below Send e-mail to Bart Eldrick misses the cut He can't play with the big boys Link Eldrick continues to insist he still know how to play golf, (cough!) but following one of the worst major championship weeks of his career, it's hard to see any positives in the direction his swing, and career, are headed. "Even the short ones fail to fall." The stats for Woods weren't pretty this week. Aside from finishing a full six shots outside the cut line, his missed cut also marked only the fourth time in his career that he won't be around for major championship. Poor Eldrick - what's he going to do? They say he's 35 and nearly broke, paying alimony and child-support - and he's got no marketable skills. ...maybe Walmart greeter, along with Der Monkey Fuhrer? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Computer Repair Testimonial Bartcop: Needed the services of a computer tech, and contacted the folks you recommend. Best move I've made in a long time. Jordan had things cleaned up, tuned up and back in order in an hour. It was well worth it! Thank you, and CAT9 Productions. Palmetto Yankee Jordan is the best! Why turn your computer over to a possibly-competent stranger when you can have a trusted expert who I've known for six years? Send e-mail to Bart Quotes "...to avoid the threat that southern sheriffs will completely disable public transportation, we've agreed to a commission that will decide if the negro will sit in the back or the middle of the bus..." -- If Martin Luther King had adopted the Obama approach Link Send e-mail to Bart New!
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Paypal to bartcop@bartcop.com Subject: Chinaco Anejo Bartcop's wrong - Chinaco Silver IS really fucking good! Look - I love Chinaco Añejo as much as the next guy And the Reposado is really good stuff too But the Plata It's pretty fucking good They grow nice Blue Agave plants Taverner as seen on DU Hey, if you like the Plata, more power to you. The Silver is pure agave juice, and the Anejo has the artistry of the fruits marrying the pure agave juice. Marriage works for me. Send e-mail to Bart Click for subscription info, FAQs and Options Why subscribe? There are 174 shows online to listen to. You can select a monthly
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I hope they win every pre-season game Link I hear they're Superbowl bound again this year... Send e-mail to Bart Name that Celebrity
Link Can you name the celebrity? Subject: last issue's celebrity Bart, Send e-mail to Bart You've probably never seen a volcano do this... Send e-mail to Bart Wildlife Close-up Link Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family... Send e-mail to Bart Check out the news and toons at Today's Mystery City Link Can you guess the city? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: last issue's mystery city Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City was Dubai, UAE. On Dubai Creek, to be exact. Here’s another view of those buildings: Stan in Durant. Send e-mail to Bart Today's History Mystery Link Can you explain today's History Mystery? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: last issue's history mystery What is last issue's History Mystery? Bart, yesterday's History Mystery was Valentina Tereshkova, first woman in space Burt Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Bart, too bad common sense has to be subversive and dissenting in this supposedly "developed" country. Thank you for being a redemptive voice. Laura Laura, that was nice - thanks. Click to Subscribe or Donate
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