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Tuesday, Day of Infamy, 2011 Vol 2787 - Super Fail
http://www.thecampaignshop.com Quotes
"I haven't had a gaffe or something that I've done that has caused me to fall in the polls. People see in me someone who's genuinely a social conservative, a fiscal conservative, a national security conservative and a tea partyer. I'm the whole package...." -- Michelle "Mistake-free" Bachmann, who possibly actually believes the crap she says Link Send e-mail to Bart Super Committee super-fails
Link The super committee goes out with a sheepish, off-camera press release. What began as the stop-gap measure to get Congress through the debt-ceiling crisis—the formation of an gaggle of handjobs charged with recommending at least $1.2 trillion in cuts from the federal budget over the next decade—ended on Monday with its leaders admitting that it’s hopelessly deadlocked and incapable of doing their fucking jobs. "After months of giving each other handjobs, we have come to the conclusion today that it will not be possible for us to do our jobs because we're only in this for the money and the secret stock options," the co-jag of the 12-member panel said. Monday, Great Leader Obama declared that he wanted "Harrump" from each wanker on the committee. "There is no easy off ramp," the president mumbled, making everyone in the room cringe. I was going to offer to bet that these assholes would fail, but I figured I would get no takers. Why would anyone think they could agree on anything? *I* knew they were going to fail. You knew they were going to fail. Bob Dole (is he still alive?) knew they were going to fail and the American people knew they were going to fail. You know how everyone knew? Because they put the "penalty" for failure way the hell in the future - in 2013. "Johnny, if you lie to me about doing your homework I'm going to send you to your room in 22 months." Johnny thinks, "Hey, fuck a bunch of homework." This bullshit was always nothing more than a joke - but at least it was cheap. When they had their little hissie fit this summer, the stock market went down over a trillion dollars. Of course, since congress gets to play the market with knowledge we don't have, I'm sure they got their money out before the trillion dollar crash and then they jumped right back in the market when it was down so they could get rich at our expense. If only we had a leader, or a fighter, in the White House. "Mitch and John are my friends..." Send e-mail to Bart Photo from Doug the engineer with a conscience What has become of "posse comitatus?" In 2009, teabaggers gathered with semi-automatic weapons and Obama did nothing. But when peaceful, jobless Democrats protest the heavy artilary comes out? If only we had a leader in the White House. Greg Palast blows the lid off the oil industry, the banking industry, and the governmental agencies that aren't regulating either. $16.73 For Vultures' Picnic, investigative journalist Greg Palast has spent his career uncovering the connection between the world of energy (read: oil) and finance. Click to Order Amazon will send me some pennies Seeing the ads puts
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on her fine, fine Entertainment Page Marty's TV Listings are the best! This was only slightly more tacky than Jennifer Lopez's naked dance. Marty always has good stuff. Universal Disappointment in Obama Why doesn't Obama come to work? Link If we trace liberal disappointment with Obama to its origins, the souring probably began on December 17, 2008, when Obama announced that right-wing, ultra-handjob Rick Warren would speak at his inauguration. “Abominable,” fumed John Aravosis on AmericaBlog. “Obama’s ‘inclusiveness’ mantra always seems to head only in one direction—to scorn progressives and embrace the Right,” seethed Salon’s Glenn Greenwald. Rachel Maddow rode the story almost nightly: “I think the problem is getting larger for Barack Obama.” Negative 34 days into the start of the Obama presidency, the honeymoon was over. Since then, the liberal gloom has only deepened, as Obama compromise alternated with Obama failure. Liberals speak of Obama in unceasingly despairing terms. “I’m exhausted from defending you,” one supporter confessed to Obama at a town-hall meeting last year. “We are all incredibly frustrated,” says Justin Ruben, MoveOn’s executive director. “I’m disappointed in Obama,” complained Steve Jobs, according to his new biography. The assessments appear equally morose among the most left-wing and the most moderate of Obama’s supporters, among opinion leaders and rank-and-file voters. Obama's blown opportunity is second only to Bush's after 9-11. After he won the election he had the whole world, minus the GOP thugs, in his hands - and what did he do? He reached out to the two-headed snarling dog... got his hand bitten, ...and then took a three year nap while the country burned. Oh, and he gave the super-rich a trillion fucking dollars just to kiss up to Bitch & Boner. What an incredible waste. "Mitch and John are my friends..." BTW Tally, I know you're still reading. (She hasn't talked to me since I wrote that she nagged me more in one e-mail than Mrs. Bart has in 40 years.) Tally, if you're going to argue politics, you gotta be able to stand a little heat. Yes, we ALL wish Obama was a better president. He could've been Hillary's VP and learned about politics and then become president, but his lust for power was so great, he just had to have it right now - and look what happened. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: let's talk money Bart, your Dems were in charge of the country while people were being most crapped upon ( 30s to eighty ). What? The Republicans desperately want to take America back to the Fifities, when lynchings were frowned upon, when women were second-class citzens and gays had to lie about who they were. To the GOP, those were the "good old days." Reagan had a Democrat congress to deal with. Obama had two years of a Democrat dominated house and senate and he spent...and spent. He spent so much that now the federal budget is over one third higher than under Bush. George W was a Democrat with an R after his name. He spent like crazy but nothing compared to Obama. You're repeating the lies you heard from FOX News and the vulgar Pigboy. Yes, Obama spent a LOT of money but he spent it on fire trucks and firefighter salaries and new hoses and new ladders and water and equipment trying to put out the fire that the Republicans started with their tax cuts. To hear you guys tell it, "Obama bought Cadillacs for every too-lazy-to-work nigger in America." When you say, "Obama spent the money," why don't you mention what he spent it on? Is it because the whole truth doesn't help your argument? Democrats sound good but what about the money? Where do we get it? The rich don't have it... Really? The rich don't have any money? What do you think "rich" means? ...and the corporations don't have it. There you go again. Everyone knows America's corporations are sitting on one trillion dollars in cash. They have plenty of money - that's how CEOs get $20M a year for laying people off. Rich corporations pay more than seventy percent of the taxes but how much can they be squeezed? If you have a job, YOU paid more federal income taxes last year than these seven rich corporations combined, yet you claim they are being squeezed? When they pay NO taxes, you and I have to pay more - why can't you see that? This is what's frustrating: WE know we're right and YOU know we're right but our pusillanimous Democrats refuse to list the goddamn facts in front of their faces so the water remains muddied. If you want to meet a budget you have to spend what you have. Not true. There are two ways to balance a household budget. You can work more hours (taxes) or spend less. If we REALLY want to balance the budget, we'd do both - but the GOP says no. So cuts are the answer.......and we have over eight hundred military bases that we could close and save who-knows-how-many trillions of dollars. Carson, head councilman on the Monkeytown Board of Directors. Carson, I knew if I let you go on long enough, eventually you'd step into a puddle of truth. Thanks for the tangle. Send e-mail to Bart Quotes "I would just like a woman someday, somewhere, at some point in my life to say to me, 'You're a great listener.' Haven't heard it yet, and that's a superior compliment to get from a woman," -- Ashton Kutcher, realtionship expert, Link Ashton, just a wild guess but it was probably your serial cheating that made Demi file for divorce - not your lack of listening to her. Send e-mail to Bart Bus driver strands passengers She walked off and left them sitting there... The Whore AP Greyhound says it plans to discipline a bus driver who abandoned his bus and passengers in southeastern Missouri, about 100 miles from their destination. Passengers told KSDK that the bus was headed from Memphis to St. Louis on Interstate 55 Friday when the driver ordered a passenger off the bus near Sikeston. The driver then pulled over in Pigboy's home town, Cape Girardeau, left and waited for someone to pick her up. Passengers called 911, and when police arrived they ordered the driver back on the bus. The driver complied but drove to nearby Charleston, and then left again. The passengers called Greyhound, which sent a driver several hours later. The passengers arrived in St. Louis on Saturday, nearly 12 hours late. Greyhound apologized and says refunds will be issued for passengers. This is typical shit writing by the Whore AP. Why did the bus driver abandon her passengers? Where they getting high on the bus? Were they having group sex a few feet away from her? Were the passengers waving guns and knives on her bus? Did the possibly-racist passengers taunt or threaten the possibly-Black driver? The Whore AP can't tell a coherent story to save their f-ing life. If my writing was this bad, I would blind myself and cut off my hands. Send e-mail to Bart George Bush with his humanizer, Pickles. Mass murderer spotted in public. Do not approach - he's killed over 100,000 people, including over 5,000 in the American military. When you put a sign up next to a freeway, they will read it until somebody takes it down http://freewayblogger.blogspot.com/ Business slow? Time to advertise! Banner ads by the day, by the week, or by the monff Click Here to get more Hits Even if business is slow, let people know you're still here. Where is the Ron Paul Surge? as seen on TPM Link It’s a cautious balance for any GOP candidate — after all, Romney, is only sort of playing in Iowa and building a plan based on a big New Hampshire win, which tells us something about the relationship between the first two states in the process. Bridging the factions of the party commonly thought to have faithful that “fall in line” is still hard to do. Especially in a year where GOP voters are jumping from candidate to candidate looking for a perfect fit that’s unlikely to come. Yet there’s one candidate who hasn’t had one of the patented GOP surges and consequent flame outs, who’s had a consistent base of support in both Iowa and New Hampshire, and hits both sides of the conservative ideological spectrum in those states. But it’s not like Ron Paul is going to win. Is it? Ron Paul has flashes of sanity - he's against getting tangled up in foreign wars, so the right-wing of the Grand Old Fascist Party refuses to give the man a chance. Funny, he's for letting people without insurance die like a dogs in the street. You'd think he's just what the heartless sons-of-bitches would salivate over but that sliver of sanity keeps him from being taken seriously by the teabagging yahoos. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: I Love you man, but go ahead and admit that you are a zionist Bart, I've been reading your site for years, and generally agree with you on everything. But....your continued stance on Israel, Iran, and the Middle-East in general, show that you must continue to drink the Zionist Cool-Aid. I'd elaborate, but have found it does no good trying to reason with someone who has made up their mind. Like Dr. House said, "if you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people". The same thing seems to apply to zionists. (an NO, I don't hate Jews or Israel. I'm just aware of what's really going on over there, and also how it directly influences what is going on over here) Keep hammerin anyways. We all have our faults. Ken PS The suggestion recently to bookmark your link to Amazon was a good one. I shop at Amazon regularly and always forget good old Bartcop. In Firefox, I've now made a tab that goes right to Amazon, via your portal. Now, whenever I shop, I have that link right on my main page. Ken, thanks for that. So, I appear to be a Zionist? What would I look like if I had no opinion and also didn't care? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Ordering thru Amazon Bart, I went to order this watch http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000EQS1D8/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER thru your portal but it doesn't show your name in the URL Do you want to generate a link for me to the watch so that you get credited? DR Sure, and let me show you how I did that. I copied that link you sent, and I went to bartcop.com and put it in the Amazon portal and it generated this link. http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&keywords=Citizen%20Men%27s%20BM8240-03E%20Eco-Drive%20Black%20Leather%20Watch%20&tag=bartcopcom&index=blended&link_code=qs See my name towards the end? That way, I'll get credit for sure. I get that readers don't want to go thru all that for every $5 and $10 purchase, but if you spend substantial money it really helps me and costs you nothing. Thanks - I have to make what I can during the holiday season because it's the only time of the year when people spend money. Send e-mail to Bart Is Robert Wagner Guilty of Murder? A woman is dead and Robert Wagner is looking guilty. The cops and the medical examiner are trying to sort out the facts. He was the last person seen with her, but he says he can't remember what happened. Is he a lovable-scoundrel or a cold-blooded killer? Is Robert Wagner capable of murder? He seems like a charming man - or is it all an act? Tune in tonight's NCIS and see. Weirdness: Michael Weatherly (DiNozzo) played Robert Wagner in the 2004 TV movie "The Mystery of Natalie Wood," which was co-produced by Lana Wood, Natalie's sister. Weatherly said the TV movie was "a touchy subject" that he and Wagner avoided discussing after they began working together in 2009. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Maher vs. Hasselbeck Bart, Yes, it's possible that Bill Maher was being funny...but consider what it was he said. After Lara Logan was raped in Egypt, Bill Maher commented that she should be replaced by Elizabeth Hasselbeck...with the obvious implication that she would also be raped. At the time that happened (I believe this was February 2011) I thought he went over the line (and I'm not supporting Hasselbeck at all). His dismissive comment to her on Real Time was at best insensitive, but his comment on Letterman that the argument "made the sex hotter" was nothing short of offensive, even to Hasselbeck-haters. Russ Russ, Maher says he didn't know Logan had been raped until after he said it. He said he heard that Mubarak was holding Logan, that's where the joke started. Also, I don't think he was referring to rape when he made the sex joke. The subject had changed, Dave asked if they actually were angry with each other. Still, I get your point. Rape jokes aren't funny. Send e-mail to Bart Check out the news and toons at
Quotes "I am disappointed that Republicans never found the courage to ignore Tea Party extremists and millionaire lobbyists like Grover Norquist,” the Nevada Democrat said while attempting to cast super committee Democrats as reasonable. For the good of our country, Democrats were prepared to strike a grand bargain that would make painful cuts while asking millionaires to pay their fair share, and we put our willingness on paper. But Republicans never came close to meeting us halfway.” -- Harry Reid, Link You know what they should've done? Put cameras in that room and not tell them. Let them argue as if it were private and then play it back so we could see them lying. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Permanent Amazon link to help Bart
Bart, Kevin asked how you could get credit all for purchases. Here's how: Have him click on your link to Amazon on your web page, then add it to his Favorites Bar. It will show as Amazon.com Online Shopping with the bartcop link. (See below) http://www.amazon.com/?ie=UTF8&%2AVersion%2A=1&tag=bartcopcom&link_code=hom&%2Aentries%2A=0 Whenever he wants to shop, he can just click the link. Hope this helps. SF SF, thanks for that. Send e-mail to Bart Thanks to Eric G for the graphic Subject: My Brush with Greatness Link Send Your "Greatness" Story to Bart Subject: fund-raising idea
I once belonged to an organization that collected dues from members in the members' birth months. From the members' viewpoints, there were no random pay-up dates to remember. Thanks for doing what you do, Karen in Indiana Karen, thanks for that. I'll try that - it's November! November folks - can you spare a donation? Every Occupy site in every city needs a giant banner like this: Donate, get this sticker When the dirty-legged, on-camera Naziette asks what you don't have a clear message, you point to the sign and say, "The poor don't have money to pay taxes and congress says the super-rich don't have to pay. so everything falls on us - the 99 percent and we're damned tired of working harder for less money every year." Message that, bitch. Donations are accepted. You could PayPal something to bartcop@bartcop.com Click to Subscribe or Donate
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Link Last issue's Mystery Car Revealed Bart, Last issue's Mystery Car is a 1949 Kaiser Virginian. I wish I had one. Cheers, Olof Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery Celebrity Link Last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link Hi Bart, that's Carrie Underwood's school photo from Checota, OK. Lost your name - sorry. Send e-mail to Bart Wildlife Close-up Link Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family... Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Demo Fail Bart, Yes, the so-called deficit committee (or supercommittee, or whatever they want to call it) is going to fail, thank goodness. The problem is that news stories are claiming that this is caused by the intransigence of both sides (as an example of this, 72% of the public doesn't want Social Security cost of living increases to be cut--what some call "slowing the growth of Social Security" - but all the Republicants on the committee want to cut Social Security, and the Democrats have accepted the cuts). But let's look at the positions. The position of the Democrats in the committee started to the right of the positions held by the US public, and they moved almost all the way over to the extreme right-wing position held by the Republicant members. The Republicants, on the other hand, moved a tiny bit, but jumped back; they said they'd accept a small tax surcharge on millionaires if the Democrats accepted making the Bush tax cuts permanent and cuts to both Social Security and Medicare. This would be a net reduction in revenue compared to the current law, so it's a bad idea -- and then the Republicants jumped back away from this "new taxes" position. So one side starts by conceding a lot of what the other side demands. That same side keeps giving in, until their position would be considered an extreme position by most of the public -- extreme on the side AGAINST the one they are supposedly supporting. In the meantime, the other side concedes one tiny thing, then rescinds their concession. How is this intransigence of both sides? Russ Russ, great point. Anyone who says, "They need to knock it off and make a deal" is f-ing crazy. It's like a man who beats his wife. It doesn't help for a cop to show up and say, "You two should stop fighting." The GOP fights for more for the super-rich while the Dems are busy fighting for food and drugs for the poor and the old. Democrats are the worst salesmen in the world. They can't sell food to a starving person with cash. They can't sell female companionship on a troop train. They can't sell pot at a Grateful Dead concert. They can't sell life preservers to drowning people. Meanwhile, the GOP is selling striped turds for $10,000 each and business is booming - but they still won't hire anybody. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery City Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: last issue's mystery city Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City that's Detroit – emphasis on the DEE. The centerpiece was once named the Renaissance Center – and most recently served as GM headquarters. To the left is Cobo Hall and the Joe Louis Arena. The skyscraper lights in the background are at the top of the Penobscot Building. Brad B Send e-mail to Bart Today's History Mystery Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: last issue's history mystery What is last issue's History Mystery? Bart, that's Salvador Dali and Walt Disney. One of them is imagining making a train large enough for tourists to ride in; the other is imagining a rhinoceros pulling a piano carrying a nude woman and a bust of Voltaire. Redlake Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Bart and Mrs Bart, hope the holidays are filled with good food, family, friends and memories. RJ Heaney, nomadic pillar PS. I will match any donation to you up to $200. RJ, thanks for that. Subject: donation Bart Going to take R.J. up on his great offer to match donations. Roger in Riverview, FL Roger, thanks for that. You and RJ are very generous. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. If you're shopping online, it never hurts to check Amazon's prices. Queen of the Supermodels - Heidi Klum Check out 1608 sexy photos of Heidi Klum in BC Hotties Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties. Marty always has good stuff. Shopping online?
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