|
Weekend-Monday January 21-23, 2012 Vol 2813 - Pushy wipped
Business slow? Time to advertise! Banner ads by the day, by the week, or by the monff Click Here to get more Hits Even if business is slow, let people know you're still here. Quotes
"I don't know if it was detected or not but on the nautical chart it was marked just as water at some 100-150 meters from the rocks and we were about 300 meters from the shore, more or less. We shouldn't have had this contact," -- the lying captain of the Costa Concordia, Link Hey Liar, don't tell us you were 1,000 feet from the shore. We have eyes - we can see the damn boat is about 30 feet from the shore. Send e-mail to Bart Quotes "Newt Gingrich is a streetfighter who carries a switchblade. Mitt Romney doesn't even have a switch blade..." -- David Gergan, doing humor on CNN Saturday night Send e-mail to Bart Obama wins South Carolina Gingrich
steam only burns poor Willard
Link First thing - Newt isn't going to win the nomination. It's funny that he thinks he is, but it ain't going to happen. If The Squeaker was to become their nominee, Republicans who know him best would vote for Obama and that'd give us the House AND the senate for Obama's second term and he could make all kinds of changes and do whatever he wanted. Of course, Obama may decide not to come to work in his second term. He may decide to spend his second term the same way he spent his first - which is spending all his political capital trying to get Cantor and Boehner to like him. That, plus there's no way God would be that nice to us because He's not known for being a nice guy AND He doesn't exist. PLUS, Gingrich should send John King a gift basket. If John King had a brain OR some courage, Newt would've lost Saturday. King could've said, "Hey, Newt, *I* didn't marry the crazy bitch and *I* damn sure didn't suggest she get into a three-way love triangle with your fat ass." But no, King sat there like a bad little boy who got caught, which enabled Newt to blame ALL his problems on "the elite media who protects Obama by attacking Republicans." That snarky-talk by Gingrich only worked because CNN's John King let it work. Lastly, have you noticed Newt has lost a "G" in his name? Everybody is now calling him GIN-rich. WTF is up with that? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Mitt Romney Inevitable? They say that every cloud has a silver lining. Mitt Romney hasn't wanted to release his tax returns and explain his bank accounts in the Cayman Islands. With Newt's big win in South Carolina, he may not have to. Marc Perkel Send e-mail to Bart Quotes "Liquor sales in Washington are up 400 percent. Nancy Pelosi ordered champagne and the GOP is drinking cheap whiskey." -- GOP thinker Mike Murphy, after Newt's win in Carolina Send e-mail to Bart Obama is the real winner of South Carolina Tom DeFrank of the NY Daily News, stealing my line Link South Carolina’s rebellious Republicans rewarded an improbable, against-the-grain victor — but he wasn’t even on the ballot. Romney’s meltdown, coupled with Gingrich’s media-baiting and Washington-bashing, have campaign strategists smiling in the Chicago headquarters of the Democratic nominee. “The winner in South Carolina was Barack Obama,” a Republican strategist volunteered. “This plays perfectly into his hands. We’ve prolonged the process, and that’s good news for the President.” What better outcome for Obama than this? His most formidable challenger emerges embarrassed and diminished, largely by his own doing, while the one contender the party establishment knows will assure Obama’s reelection is energized. Subject: Donation Bart, I just sent you $10 as a thank you for publishing your Jan 18 issue without bashing Obama once. Next time you should mention something good that he does like refusing to approve the pipeline, or coming out against SOPA/PIPA. Baby steps. Jason Jason, thanks - but that's bad news for me. If people only donate when Obaba does something right, or when he shows a little backbone, I'm out of business. As someone who's never been anything but a Democrat, don't you think I want Obama to be a successful president? If he would come to work, and act like a Democrat, I wouls say nice things about him all the time. Send e-mail to Bart Seeing the ads puts
food on my family,
PLEASE turn off your AdBlocker. Shop Online
Amazon.com sells everything
Someone bought a Del Rossa Men's Fleece Hooded Bathrobe, $59 (cheap) with FREE shipping Amazon donated $3.25 to the Treehouse Thanks for remembering to use this link Buy
online, instead Look for 'bartcop' in the
link when you place the order.
Add
the Amazon link
to your Favorites Bar
SOPA author breaks copyright law Rep. Lamar Smith has unauthorized photo on his website "I'm a pirate who belongs in prison..." Link Texas Congressman Lamar Smith (R-Asshole) is clearly a man of principle. He authored the Stop Online Piracy Act because he believes that copyright violators must be punished, whether they're individual citizens or websites that have copyrighted content or link to such content. In his view, every website containing copyright infringement must be shut down as quickly as possible. Up until very recently, this is how texansforlamarsmith.com, Smith's campaign website, looked: Vice journalist Jamie Taete traced that image to photographer DJ Schulte. Taete asked Schulte if he had given Smith permission to use the image, and Schulte responded that he had never done so. I say we hang the bastard. What he did was worse than murder, according to the law he authored. Send e-mail to Bart Marty
has
new stuff every
day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page Marty's TV Listings are the best! Marty always has good stuff.
See
more at http://mariopiperni.com
New meaning for the term "baby food" Bill would ban food containing aborted fetuses Link A bill was introduced in the Oklahoma state senate Friday that would ban the manufacture of food containing aborted human fetuses. Ralph Shortey (R-Oklahoma City) authored Senate Bill 1418, which effectively bans the selling or manufacture of food products that contain aborted fetuses or which used aborted fetuses in the development of their ingredients. Now do you see why I call myself the smartest man in Oklahoma? This state is full of insane handjobs with nothing else on their mind besides the official banning of the eating of dead fetuses. Send e-mail to Bart Newt the cold-hearted bastard Newt not only divorced his FIRST wife who was suffering from CANCER but the bastard also divorced his SECOND wife, Marianne, (after she'd been diagnosed with MS) because she wouldn't agree to an "open marriage" so he could keep banging Callista. ...and this is the presumed Republican nominee? This is the guy the Bible-thumpers are getting behind? Quotes "So, the GOP race comes down to Newt vs Mitt. Or, put another way, it's Alien vs Predator." -- Bill Maher, in a Tweet Send e-mail to Bart Rubio drops his own bill PIPA
was a crooked deal sponsored hy a crook
Link Good news for the sane crowd: Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Whore) announced that he no longer supports the “PROTECT IP Act” (PIPA), a bill he co-sponsored his own damn self. In his statement, the Flaming Teabagger also urged Spineless Harry Reid to “abandon his plan to rush the bill to the floor.” PIPA is currently schedule to go before the full Senate for a procedural vote to begin debate on the bill on January 24. Send e-mail to Bart Sarah Palin Nude Link Subject: political limerick Political events had me waxing poetic this morning: There once was a fellow named Newt Monogamy, not his strong suit. The marriage demise Was not due to lies But to Newt expressing his truth. Nancy M Send e-mail to Bart Thanks, they send me
pennies...
Quotes
"Gingrich was run out of the speakership by his own party. He was fined $300,000 for ethics violations. This is a guy who has had a very difficult political career at times and has been an embarrassment to the party ...sometimes past is prologue." -- Chris Christie. laying down audio tracks for Obama's summer commercials Link The GOP civil war is in full bloom. The Newt Rethugs and the Willard Rethugs are savaging each other. It's a gift from Baby Jesus. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Iran
Yo Bartcop, Am I correct that you're taking (virtual) wagers that Obama will NOT go to war with Iran? As of now, we're NOT going to war with Iran and won't be in the near future.. I'd love to gamble with you, but it can't be open-ended. *Aside from the obvious default that an official declaration of war MUST come from the U.S. Congress... I agree with you. I don't really see BO leading us to war with Iran when there are plenty of other (more limited) options on the table. On the other hand, there's more than enough tit-for-tat tension building at the moment and plenty of rogue/insane elements lurking in the Iranian (and American) Republican Guard to qualify a bet either way as extremely risky. The whole situation is a powder keg begging for a lone nut with a Zippo. That said, it's also a long way to 2016. Still a BIG fan (in Deutschland), Joe If Iran sinks an American ship or grabs Americans off a boat in international waters, Hillary might force Obama into taking some military action like she did with Libya, but no way Obama is going to put soldiers on Iranian soil. ...unless Seal Team Six is looking for some action. Send e-mail to Bart Check out the news and toons at
Read all about it! on the Bart Blog! Subject: about your ads...
Bart, clicking is the best I can do for a while, and I click on everything with ad blockers off. It is easy to ignore most of the ads, but some of them "talk". Do you have any control over that, or are we stuck having to hear them? MC in CBO I wish I had a clue. I clicked on one of my own pages yesterday and somebody started talking about allergy medicine. My ad banner business (I don't even know what to call it) helps keep me on the net since we've lost so many subscribers in Bush's recession... If I could figure out which ad was doing the talking, I would kill it unless it turned out to be one of the banners that's actually bringing in some income. I wish I had a clue... Send e-mail to Bart The Attack of the Tampons Couple attacks car with flaming "torches" "We're not as dumb as we look..." Link Armed with flaming tampons--yes, flaming tampons--two young Pennsylvanians attempted to blow up a vehicle after severely vandalizing it, according to police. The bizarre January 7 incident outside a bar in Metal Township resulted in the arrest of Patricia Deshong and Quentin Deshong on a variety of charges, including attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief. Cops say the Deshongs seriously damaged a 2006 Ford Fusion, which had its windshield and windows either cracked or broken, was covered with dents, and had blood on the front passenger seat. Hmm, it doesn't say which Republican precinct they live in... Send e-mail to Bart Subject: My Brush with Greatness Link Send in YOUR brush with greatness Quotes "Barack Obama is such a Wall Street figure, so much, in fact, he's giving his convention speech at Bank of American Stadium in Charlotte." -- ABC News's Matthew Doud, I heard it myself I watched This Whore with Judas Maximus for the first time in years Sunday. I've always known who Matthew Doud is, but I had no idea he was such a f-ing idiot. When he said that, I screamed "You fucking idiot" at the TV so many times, Mrs Bart eventually asked me to dial it back a little bit. Hey Matthew, you f-ing idiot, the convention is in Charlotte. That's why he's giving his big speech in BoA Stadium, because it's the biggest stadium around. Are you such a brain-dead turd (or such a whore) that you think Obama shopped around for a Wall Street property so he could give his speech? ABC's John Berman is another one. I forget now, but he said something that was so goddamn stupid, I thought, "Bring back Cokie Roberts," which means what Berman said must've been really, really f-ing stupid. Like I said, I hadn't seen that show in a long time, but it's gotten so bad, George Will was making the most sense of anybody on the panel. Did I just say that? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: fund-raising idea
Some organization collect dues from members in their birth month. Karen in Indiana Karen, thanks for that. Born in January and July folks - can you spare a donation? (It's a long way to July...) Donations are accepted. You could PayPal something to bartcop@bartcop.com Click to Subscribe or Donate
..
or you could send a "love" check tobartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155 We accept credit cards Thank you I Was Born in January/July Bart Subject: My Brush with Greatness Link Send in YOUR brush with greatness Subject: word meanings Hi B, I think it is not serviceable to refer to income inequality because it sounds so USSR. People think it means everyone will make seven per hour. I think you will know what I mean when you read the last sentence of this e-mail. The distribution of resources and wages have become beyond innapropriate and are non-equitable. Carson the Neanderthal ( I'm improving! ) Send e-mail to Bart Bartcop's Worldwide Computer Repair Sign up now! We come to you! Subject: Gingrich v. Establishment Republicans Bart, Establishment Republicans are afraid Newt will get the Republican nomination because they know he can't win in the general election. The only thing they fear worse is Newt getting the nomination, winning the general election and having his finger on the nuclear button for 4 years. Can you imagine a President Gingrich, prone to hissy fits, with his finger on the nuclear button? RJ Heaney, nomadic pillar. Subject: Romney Bart, I am enjoying this GOP circular firing sqaud. Gingrich is attacking Romney for being a "vulture capitalist". Now let me get this straight, Romney railed against the auto bailouts. My question would be; wasn't that a form of venture capitalism? The gov't. took over the company, fired the management, added capital, hired new management and let it prosper. And in the case of GM, they are back on top. Isn't that what Bain Capital did? Of course the GOP would agrue that was private money Bain Capital used. Really? All of it? Weren't teachers and public employee retirement funds and government funds used by Bain Capital? Another interesting point is that the GOP always says that companies like GM should be allowed to fail as this is capitalism at work. But then the GOP agrues that venture capitalists like Bain are a goog thing because they save jobs.These idiots are twisting themselves in knots, it is so hilaroius. Jon in Ohio Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Gingrich and free love Hey Bart, If I were a democratic strategist I might suggest asking Newt the question, "You claim there's a cultural war going on in this country. Which side are you on, the one that supports open marriages?" Kevin in Bolingbrook I doubt any reporters are going to be asking Newt any more questions. They're so afraid Newt might bark at them like he did to John King. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery Celebrity Link Last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link Bart – that's "Snooki" Pollizzi without her war paint. Looks much better without. Johnny Gator 8-{). Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Nice half assed comeback.Stand by what I wrote . You sound like Hannity did during run up to Iraq War. That makes no sense. Hannity was giddy at the thought of going to war. I'm saying it's not going to happen. How does that make us twins? You are democrat propoganda nothing more. I am a Democrat with opinions. If you had a brain, you could challenge those opinions. Instead, you whine and throw your feces. Had Bush been a democrat you woulda voted for him twice. That's more stupid than I would have thought you were capable of. Sad way to end yer pathetic rant, with a classless joke about a tragedy concerning Carnival Cruises. Robert Chavez What classless joke? Last issue has 80 pieces to it and you found one you didn't like? I wish people like you could make a coherent argument. I enjoy a debate, but it's hard to out-debate smoke. Send e-mail to Bart Wildlife Close-up Link Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family... Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery City Link Subject: last issue's mystery city Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City? remains unidentified. Am I making these too tough? Send e-mail to Bart Today's History Mystery Link Subject: last issue's history mystery What is last issue's History Mystery? Bart – that's Elvis Presley with Dean Martin and Shirley MacLaine celebrating Martin's birthday in 1961 on the set of Martin's movie All in a Night's Work. Michael in Oregon Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Hi Bart, hope this puts some food on your family. Love your site--keep on truckin'. Matt in Poultney, VT Matt, thanks for that. Former world owner, Cindy Crawford Check out 748 sexy, tasteful photos of Cindy Crawford in BC Hotties Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties. Marty always has good stuff. Shopping online?
Use this
Amazon
portal http://amzn.to/bartcop
Read
the Previous Issue
of
bartcop.com
It had everything. Copyright
© 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002,
2003,
Thanks to bartcop.com subscribers. We
know you work
hard for your money, so we take it as
a compliment when you throw some our way each month.
Click
Here to see if reality
Marc Perkel's ChurchIf it's Real - we
believe
in it!
To hear the
RADIO
SHOWS, you must
have a
login
and password. Click to get to the Archived Radio Shows bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor
|