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Tuesday, March 27, 2012 Vol 2849 - Lawn-chaired
Business slow? Run a "We're Still Here, goddammit" Sale! Think how many people/companies have bitten the dust since Bush stole the Treasury. Banner ads by the day, by the week, or by the monff Click Here to get more Hits Even if business is slow, remind them why they need you! Quotes
"I think we need to let the investigation come forward and let all the facts in this case come out," -- George Zimmerman's (R-Gun nut) lawyer Link People act like they forget what happened. Zimmerman shot the Black kid, claimed "Self defense" and the cops closed the case. The kid was such trash, they didn't even bother to notify the family. The fact that the murderer's lawyer wants the facts to come out means he agrees with us. Send e-mail to Bart Where is my GOP? Quotes
"Where you have Senator Santorum’s views, so far to the right, with his attitude on women in the workplace and gays and the bestiality comments and birth control, I do not think it is realistic for Rick Santorum to represent America.” -- Alan Simpson, the caveman who called Anita Hill a liar, Link Send e-mail to Bart George Will: GOP fears The Pigboy It's always confusing when they tell the truth... Link Rush the Pigboy has been inundated with criticism after calling Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute.” But while Democrats have fiercely condemned the comments, Republicans’ ire has been more sheepish. George Will said on “This Week” that GOP leaders have steered clear of harshly denouncing Limbaugh’s comments because “Republican leaders are afraid of Rush Limbaugh.” “Boehner says Rush’s language was inappropriate. Using the salad fork for your entrée is inappropriate. Not this stuff,” Will said. “And it was depressing because what it indicates is that the Republican leaders are afraid of Rush Limbaugh. They want to bomb Iran, but they’re afraid of Rush Limbaugh.” Matthew Dowd said the Republicans’ apprehension to say anything negative about Piggy Pigboy is based on the “myth” that Limbaugh influences a large number of Republican voters. “I think the problem is that Romney and the other candidates, don’t have the courage to say what they say in quiet, which, they think Rush Limbaugh is a buffoon,” Dowd said. ”They think he is like a clown coming out of a small car at a circus. It’s great he is entertaining and all that. But nobody takes him seriously.” George Will is wrong. The vulgar Pigboy is worshipped by millions of Troggs. They do NOT see Rush as an entertainer. Catholics don't trust Man-on-Dog If they don't truth him, why should sane people? Link Cathy Willauer, a Catholic mother of four, says that her religion is important to her and that she shares the same values as Rick Santorum. But she supports Romney. She said she had more confidence that Romney could better manage the economy. Besides, she said, Mr. Romney, who is Mormon, appears more tolerant of people of other faiths. “While my personal values may align more closely with Santorum, I feel Romney is more willing to tolerate different views and values...” Willauer is part of a striking pattern that has emerged: more Catholic Republicans favor Romney even though Santorum is Catholic. I'm used to Catholics not making sense, but this Cathy lady takes the cake. SHE is a Catholic and Santorum is Catholic, but she likes Romney because he's a Mormon and Mormons are more tolerant? Hey Lady, you need to become a Mormon. Why do you support, by your own words, an intolerant religion? Can we extrapolate from that that you'd also support a racist religion? If so, can we extrapolate from that that you'd also support a rapist religion? Wait, you're already doing that... Send e-mail to Bart Seeing the ads puts
food on my family,
PLEASE turn off your AdBlocker. Where is my GOP? Quotes
"(Hating women and gays) makes the party look like it isn’t a modern party. The GOP doesn’t understand the modern world that we live in.” -- Rudy Giuliani, whining to Pigboy baby-Mama wannabe Erin Burnett, Link Send e-mail to Bart Shop Online
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GOP: Ghastly Outdated Party by Fraulien Dragoness Link IT’S finally sinking in. Republicans are getting queasy at the gruesome sight of their party eating itself alive, savaging the brand in ways that will long resonate. “Republicans being against sex is not good,” said G.O.P. strategist Alex Castellanos. “Sex is popular.” He said his party is “coming to grips with a weaker field than we’d all want” and going through the five stages of grief. “We’re at No. 4,” he said. (Depression.) “We’ve still got one to go.” (Acceptance.) The contenders in the Hester Prynne primaries are tripping over one another trying to be the most radical, unreasonable and insane candidate they can be. Newt Gingrich, a war wimp in Vietnam who supported W.’s trumped-up invasion of Iraq, had the gall to tell a crowd at Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Okla., that defeating Obama — “the most dangerous president in modern American history” — was “a duty of national security” because “he is incapable of defending the United States” and because he “wants to unilaterally weaken the United States.” Who killed Osama again? Send e-mail to Bart Doctors released a picture of Cheney's old heart... Marty
has
new stuff every
day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page Marty's TV Listings are the best! Marty always has good stuff. Where is my GOP? Quotes "I used to be a conservative, and I watch these GOP debates and I’m wondering, I don’t think I’ve changed, but it’s a little troubling sometimes when people are appealing to people’s fears and emotion rather than trying to get them to look over the horizon for a broader perspective.” -- Jeb Bush, pretending he's just now noticed how radical his Party of Jackals has become, Link Send e-mail to Bart WI. media in tank for Walker No wonder the coverage is so distorted bradblog.com Despite the clear and unethical conflict of interest demonstrated by their support for Walker --- for which the Governor is almost certainly grateful --- those journalist are somehow still expected to cover the Democratic Party and union-supported political challenges against him in an impartial manner. Clearly, that is impossible. At least according to an editorial published last night by Kevin Corrado, the president and publisher of the Green Bay Press-Gazette... In his editorial, Corrado chides his journalists and apologizes to readers who, he says, "must be able to trust that your newspaper is providing you the most complete picture, without bias of any kind." Of course, Corrado isn't apologizing for almost all of his journalists who voted in support of Walker by refusing to sign a popular recall petition signed by nearly one million of their fellow citizens. He's apologizing for the ones who did. Send e-mail to Bart This is what they
mean...
"Prissy, trashy and tasteless" Jan Brewer's mail is tough for her to read "I *am* today's GOP - like it or go fuck yourself." Link In the days after Gov. Jan Brewer (R-Bitch) pointed her finger at Obama, her office received more than 12,000 letters and e-mails from people across the nation. Most condemned the bitch, according to her office. Many of the writers were disgusted with the governor, calling her "trashy" and "tasteless." Others offered etiquette tips on how to behave when welcoming a head of state. "If you approached me like you did the president I would have taken great comfort by poking you in the nose," wrote one lady. "You might want to work on your prissy attitude you project." Why would Brewer's office release this info? Is she, like, stupid? Subject: Trayvon Bart, Im pretty sure Zimmerman didnt break his own nose, what do you think? Mark F Mark, I'm not sure. That's the kind of thing the cops might've found out had they bothered to do a decent investigation but - it was just a throwaway Black kid so they threw him in the medical examiner's cooler and went about their day. But, playing Devil's Advocate, I wish we knew more about Trayvon. It seems like the shooter had 100 pounds on Trayvon, so a fist-fight or a wrestling match seems unlikely to have been started by Trayvon, ...but what if Trayvon was a fearless linebacker on their football team? What if Zimmerman was taunting him? "Hey, you f-ing coon, you ain't getting away from me this time?" Maybe from Trayvon's point of view, a frontal assault was his best/only shot, but I can't see the Skittles-toting kid stalking and attacking the armed, racist hulk. BTW, thanks for acting like an adult. That Monkey Mailer Jeff from yesterday was a real handjob. Send e-mail to Bart Sarah Palin Nude Link Subject: Subject: Don't mean to complain but... Bart-- I had a terrible time with those ads, too but-- once I found the ads, I realized that if you run your cursor over the ad there's a volume control. Set the volume to 0 and they are easy to ignore. Dan Dan, thanks for that. If I ever figure out which banner is causing that... I'll bet it's the ad that pays me $11 a month. If so, I'll drop them faster that Newt dropped Wife #2. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Kim Kardashian flour bombed? Bart,
I heard the guy who flour bombed
Kim Kardashian in California was ARRESTED. Meanwhile,
the prick who murdered Trayvon
was NOT arrested,
If you illegally download Thriller by Michael Jackson, you
could get five years in prison. If you f-ing
murder Michael Jackson, you only get four years in prison.
Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Romney run away from his biggest accomplishment We all know that Obamacare is essentially the same thing as Romneycare. The only difference between them is whether the state or the federal government makes you buy health care insurance. Now Obama (finally) is embracing Obamacare as an accomplishment taking credit for getting it passed. Romney could be doing the same thing. He could be trying to make the point that this is his idea and Obama just copied it. But instead Romney is running against Romney. He's running on the platform that his only major accomplishment was the wrong thing to do. I don't see any way Romney is going to win this debate. Maybe that's why he's having a such a hard time winning the Republican nomination. Marc Perkel Subject: Please vote to get my disability assistance device "On the Shelf" at Walmart Dear friends, In 2008 I embarked on designing a specialized crutch tip that could help disabled people like myself that love to swim still visit beaches without struggling with our crutches sinking in the sand. My father helped me design this assistive device, called the "SandPad", and it's currently available through our website at www.thesandpad.com. We now have an opportunity to get Walmart's attention stocking the SandPad in their stores by voting for it in their "Get on the Shelf" competition. This could potentially help get it on the shelf nationwide in their stores so that it's available to crutch users and disabled people everywhere. You can vote for it once a day via their website or texting "104" to: 383-838. Please feel free to pass this along and thanks for your support! http://www.getontheshelf.com/product/104/The-SandPad%E2%84%A2 Jerry Vasilatos Jerry has been a friend of the page for many years. Send e-mail to Bart Check out the news and toons at
Read all about it! on the Bart Blog! Open Mic catches Obama He agrees with me - he's going to win Link Obama found his private moment of political candor caught by a live microphone on Monday as he told President Medvedev of Russia that he would have “more flexibility” to negotiate on missile defense after the November election, which Obama apparently feels confident he will win. His idiot opponents pounced on the remark: Mitt Romney, dog-torturer and job-killer, said the president’s remarks were “an alarming and troubling development.” Well sure they were. Anyone who thinks they might win an election is obviously crazy, right Willard? Newt Gingrich, who can't get elected to a spittoon-emptying position, told CNN, “I’m curious: how many other countries has the president promised that he’d have a lot more flexibility the morning he doesn’t have to answer to the American people?” What? Newt just said every president who wins a second term can't be trusted? Does he mean like Nixon's second term when he had to step down in disgrace? Or Reagan's second term when he sold weapons to terrorists, but swore he didn't? Or Bush's second term where they robbed Wall Street blind and stole our life savings? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: People stake their reputations on you when they recommend your site like I have yours. I feel embarrassed knowing how
many people have read your Dick Cheney You'll
have to offer a SINCERE Mea Culpa if you expect to regain the
respectability you have lost. I have no idea what you're talking about. Making me out to be "another Cheney" seems kinda pointless and stupid. When did I say we need to bomb Iran? When you accuse me of something, why don't you quote me? You've been sending in a lot of mail trying to get me to apologize for something, but until you can point directly to something I've written and say "Apologize for THAT!" I have no idea what you want me to say. I can't remember the last time I understood an attack on one of my political positions. Most people who attack are so goddamn angry, they fail to make sense. If you want to be in this conversation, you're going to have to quote me and stay on point and stop assuming you know what I "really" mean and take my written words at face value. In the last 30 days, the only thing I remember writing that could remotely be considered "warlike" is when I said I'd slap down those pesky "mosquito" boats that Iran sends to harass US ships. That's not being "warlike." That's learning from the mistakes of the Captain of the USS Cole. Send e-mail to Bart Premier Toonist
Wolf Grulkey
is running for congress
Subject: Re: A murderer walks free The cops acted like they were clearing a dead cat off the road. Spitfire Good point, and I'd like to say something else. At first, I disagreed with Obama's saying that if he had a son, he would've probably looked a lot like Trayvon. I felt like the slightly-unhinged Left would, in their minds, make this out to be, "They've killed Obama's son." Then I thought about it again and it made more sense, that maybe Obama was trying to say, "Where YOU might see a dark-skinned 'thug' wearing a hoodie, he also could've been a president's son, so let's not make assumptions based on the way a person looks." I think that's what Zimmerman did. And no matter how you slice it, Zimmerman got in his car that night and went looking for trouble to "defend" himself against. That's not his job. Zimmerman sent people out to tell us "He's sorry," but it doesn't matter. He went LOOKING for trouble. Remember the movie Death Wish with Charles Bronson? That's what he did, He loaded up his gun and went walking thru the worst parts of town in the middle of the night, HOPING some dumbass muggers would show up up so he could empty his gun into them. Zimmerman needs to sit inside a steel cage for several years to send the signal to the rest of the eager-beaver gun squad that just because you "found" what you think might-be-considered trouble, you can't just start shooting and then claim, "I was only trying to stand my ground like the law says." No, asshole, you went looking for someone to murder. Sidebar: That stupid "stand your ground" law needs to be amended to say, "If you are standing on your own property or inside your home..." Send e-mail to Bart Cat-sized rats take Florida Keys
Link Cat-sized rats are causing trouble in the Florida keys. A pack of Gambian giant pouched rats have been breeding in the keys despite officials’ efforts to eradicate them. Officials are worried about the vermin making it over to the mainland, saying that the hungry species could wipe out crops and upset the delicate ecological balance in Florida. I read that giant snakes were taking over South Florida. Why don't they eat the cat-sized rats? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: I need work hey bart cold you put me in touch with the guy who can't find a field engineer? i need a job theese days write back to ruex42@yahoo.com Roo We're
on Twitter and Facebook
If you follow 'Bartcop' on Twitter/Facebook
I'll send you a tweet/Facebook message when each new issue goes up. New Feature Can you guess the movie? Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Stand your ground and abortion A Florida coed finds herself pregnant and her abusive boyfriend, who had been coercing her to have sex, abandons her. She realizes that she will have to abandon her dreams of becoming a heart surgeon and leave college to support herself and her child by herself. She visits an ob-gyn, desiring an abortion. Might she justify an abortion because the blastocyst poses a threat to her well-being? Ed from Mesa, AZ. Ed, only if she uses a gun. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery Car
Link Subject: last issue's Mystery Car Link Bart, that is a Stutz Model M 1929 Dual Cowl Phaeton. I'm guessing the odometer reads 42,000 miles and it's worth a cool quarter million. E.L. Deflagrante. You are correct, Sir! Send e-mail to Bart What if people WANT to see their name and the amount they donated on Bartcop.com? When PBS holds a fund-raiser, they put (some?) names on the screen, "Bartcop paid $25." Do people donate so they can TIVO their name on the TV screen? In all my years of fund-raising, I've always hidden the name and amount the donor sent, but what if that's a source of frustration thst's holding donations back? Update My keen detective skills have determined that the non-listing of donor names was NOT holding back a tsunami of large-scale donations. The GOP's War on the Middle Class We're fighting the anti-progress GOP - can you help? You could PayPal something to bartcop@bartcop.com Click to Subscribe or Donate
..
or you could send a "love" check tobartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155 We accept credit cards Thank you I Was Born in March/September Bart Thanks, they send me pennies... Today's Mystery Celebrity Link Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link Bart, that's Girl Scout Katie Couric in Arlington, Virginia. Leo in Maryland Leo, good one - I didn't know. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Lincoln bedroom Hey Bart, don’t forget Jeff Gannon/Guckert. I look at all the nights he spent the night at the White House as the “top” problem that Bush had. Tom Tom, the whore media never even admitted who Guckert was. Now, if a Democratic president had a GIRL friend, they fucking pounce like wolverines and never let go. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: My Brush with Greatness Link We need more Greatness stories Subject: Cheney Bart, you wrote, > "BTW, when Cheney dies, he's got nowhere to go. > The Devil has already said he won't take him." That's because the devil is afraid Cheney will take over........ Bluedeer Good one. Cheney would have the Devil invading Purgatory... Send e-mail to Bart Link Subject: last issue's mystery city Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City is Moro Rock located in the beautiful city of Moro Bay. Keep on hammering, Dave Send e-mail to Bart Women don't mind paying more for health care, as long as we're not "socialists" you can do whatever you want with us. The poor don't mind having f-ing zero money, as long as we're not "socialists" you can do whatever you want with us. People don't mind dying from a lack of health care, as long as we're not "socialists" you can do whatever you want with us. Today's History Mystery Link Subject: last issue's history mystery Bart, Last Issue's History Mystery ? That’s Dr. Julius Younger, famous friend of Bartcop. He was one of many scientists who developed the polio vaccine on Salk's team. I know that not because Salk gave his team any credit, but because Bartcop has righted the wrong of Salk minimizing the efforts of his team. E.L. E.L. you are correct. If there was a God, Dr. Youngner would be more famous than Neil Armstrong. If YOUR kids can walk without crutches, you should send Dr. Youngner $20. If you don't know what an iron lung is, you should send Dr. Youngner $20. Don't think polio is some disease from the distant past. I have readers who suffer from it, so thank your lucky stars that Dr. Youngner came along and kicked polio's ass when he did. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Bart, here is a donation. Don't send me anything. Save the postage and stroke the bartkitties for me. Reading your page is reward enough. Hammer on, dude. K Mason in Oklahoma K, thanks for that. It's always great to meet an Okie with a brain. If some rich Democrat could throw $25,000-$50,000 my way it would sure take the pressure off for the upcoming political season. Think of the tax deduction! I hate to spend time every day trying to raise money. If you're shopping online, it never hurts to check http://amzn.to/bartcop prices. Lacey Chabert (That's shay-bare to you red-staters) Check out over 100 sexy, tasteful photos of Lacey Chabert in BC Hotties Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties. Marty always has good stuff. Shopping online?
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