|
Tues-Wed July 3-4, 2012 Vol 2898 - Outhouse rats
Spend Money, Make Money Advertise with Bartcop.com, make more sales, generate more income. Two days just $35 One week just $75 Let your costomers know you have what they need. Romney, Obama, Scalia all agree They say Individual Mandate not a tax Link The Supreme Court last week upheld
Obama's health care law because John Roberts' opinion considered This is so funny. The Republican wild dogs are
screaming "Biggest
tax increase in history," but if that's true, Send e-mail to Bart Shop Online
Amazon.com sells everything
Someone bought a Bose SoundLink Wireless Mobile Speaker $299.00 (cheap) with FREE shipping Amazon donated $12.00 to the Treehouse I think everyone needs a single Bose speaker Thanks for using this link
Buy
online Look for 'bartcop' in the
link when you place the order.
Add
the Amazon link
to your Favorites Bar
GlaxoSmithKline Pays $3B Fine Is you-know-who the worst negotiator ever? Link Drug maker GlaxoSmithKline Plc agreed to plead guilty to misdemeanor criminal charges and pay $3 billion to settle what government officials on Monday described as the largest case of healthcare fraud in U.S. history. Wait, stealing $18B is a misdemeanor, but obeying Montana pot laws is a 20-year felony? The agreement, which still needs court approval, would resolve allegations that the British drugmaker broke U.S. laws in the marketing and development of pharmaceuticals. GSK targeted the antidepressant Paxil to patients under age 18 when it was approved for adults only, and it pushed the drug Wellbutrin for uses it was not approved for, including weight loss and treatment of sexual dysfunction, according to a Justice Department investigation. The company went to extreme lengths to promote the drugs, such as distributing a misleading medical journal article and providing doctors with meals and spa treatments that amounted to illegal kickbacks, prosecutors said. Yesterday, CBS News said GlaxoSmithKline made $18B from cheating. So, naturally, Obama's Justice Department let them off with a $3B slap on the wrist. Any
time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money (or
power) continue their crime spree because Obama gave them no reason to stop. In America, if you're rich, when you get caught stealing $18B, they make you give back 1/6 of your loot. Why can't my friend Tom Daubert pay back 1/6 of the money he earned LEGALLY and just walk away? "I might get 20 years in federal prison because Obama has a problem with the legal pot laws in Montana." Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Roberts's Real Reasoning Bart, The thing we need to remember about politics is that it's like pro wrestling. You know how in tag team matches, whenever one of the good guys puts a foot on the rope, the ref is all over him, making him get his foot off the rope because that's Against The Rules! Meanwhile, the bad guys are double-teaming the other good-guy, beating the crap out of him, pounding him with chairs and the ref absolutely refuses to turn around and see what's making that strange chair-pounding noise. That's politics. Right now, Roberts is the guy in the corner, distracting the ref's attention away from the insurance companies high-fiving the ever-loving crap out of each other. Because if the Supreme Court struck down Obamacare, the only other option was Medicare for All. The system as it currently exists would eventually bankrupt this country. Even the very rich could see that day coming. Something had to be done. So, we could have Medicare for All, or we could have a system whereby the government gives money to poor people to buy insurance from a private company, while requiring everyone who can afford it to... buy insurance from a private company. If you happen to own one of those companies where everybody in the country has to spend eight or nine hundred dollars a month, every month, until they turn 65, John Roberts's decision just delivered 200 million captive customers into your hands. They can't leave until they buy something from you. Oh happy day. Basically Roberts took one for the team. He saved the insurance companies billions and billions of dollars. Conservatives know this. But right now, it's their job to scream at him and call him a traitor, otherwise somebody might point out what I've just pointed out. The other thing to remember about politics and pro-wrestling - when the match is over and the screaming fans go home, the wrestlers and the polticians and the corporations all go to the same locker room and shower together. In other news, my book comes out today. I wish John Roberts would send me 200 million captive readers. Jeff Send e-mail to Bart Marty
has
new stuff every
day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page Marty's TV Listings are the best! Marty always has good stuff. Obama wants to enslave us: Rep. Allen West could win Tom of the Year Link Rep. Allen West (R-Tom) can't seem to stay out of the spotlight, for better or for worse. During a Sunday rally with constituents in a newly drawn district he wants to represent, West accused President Barack Obama of wanting to enslave the American public. "He does not want you to have the self-esteem of getting up and earning, and having that title of American," West said, according to a WPTV report. "He'd rather you be his slave." West is running against Bob Crowder in the Republican primary, set for Aug. 14. WPTV quotes Crowder saying he is "offended" by the things that come out of West's mouth. "I think trying to label some people that he would have to work with in Congress as being Communists... I just think that's the wrong thing to do," Crowder said. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Finally I pay a little for the lots I've gotten... BHey Bart! Maybe i have some kind of idea for you. I'm like lots of your readers, a majority probably, that have never stepped up and tossed some food on your family like our fearless leader used to say. We all have habits that cost us our left over money after basic survival. We all make plans for money coming our way beyond the daily nut. And maybe a weekly double shot frapachino or a six pack is part of the weekly budget. I just realized that I would miss you more than most things I do spend my extra dough on. So here's the deal: Since I just did send you a 10spot: I'm gonna try to do this each month, just like I give those homeless vets on the Seattle Center off ramp I see every Wednesday morning when I go to the office some V8 juice, bananas and sandwiches... We need to prioritize our time and resources, just like if we were grownups finally. I promise to spend $10 each month on you instead of one of my habits I could cut back on... your friend Jamie in Tacoma Jamie, thanks for that. Send e-mail to Bart Ambushed by Optimism by Marty Kaplan Link Twice in the past few weeks, my train of thought has been hijacked by hope. I am not by nature pessimistic. But for a while now my mood about America's prospects has been grim. Big money has swamped our politics. Power has been concentrated into fewer and fewer hands. Extremism has been mainstreamed. Fact-based reality has increasingly little bearing on public discourse. Institutions like education, the media and self-governance have grown sclerotic, pernicious and dysfunctional. Faced with looming catastrophes like climate change, we're - oh, hell, there I go again, talking myself out onto a ledge. But two recent events unexpectedly heartened me, and that they happened in the runup to the Fourth of July has not been lost on me. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: trying to stay alive in the Bush depression Hey Bart! Here is my latest creation: R-Money bumper stickers. I'm taking some of my last throws of the dice here. Wouldn't it be nice if the little guy won one for a change? Remember - the Church of the Afternoon Nap recommends that religion only be used for peaceful, social purposes - no smiting allowed! Peace Tom at the Funny Farm www.funnyfarmonline.org Tom, that's a good-looking sticker. I hope you sell a bunch of them. Send e-mail to Bart CNN is a big ratings loser Their lowest ratings in 21 years Link CNN had its worst ratings in twenty-one years, according to quarterly figures released on Tuesday. CNN drew an average of just 319,000 total viewers and 129,000 viewers ages 25-54 in the second quarter. Ratings fell 35% among total viewers and 41% in the key demo compared to the same time last year. Primetime ratings also suffered big losses — 35% and 45% in those audiences respectively. The news was inevitable, after months of terrible ratings at the network. CNN had its lowest-rated month in over a decade in April. May was its worst month in primetime in over twenty years. As usual, Fox News dominated the ratings in the second quarter, taking 13 of the top thirty programs. MSNBC and Fox News also saw drops, though smaller than CNN's, from last year. There's a reason why nobody watches CNN - their top reporter's first name is Douche! Blitzer is the biggest joke in news and he's their biggest star. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: re: Arizona's Pink Panty Sheriff Bart, Many of us 'Zoners' often regard Arizona as 'Alabama-West.' One of the reasons that there have been calls to set up a separate state that excludes Maricopa County is the political dominance of that region. Because of that county, we get SB 1070, McCain, Kyl, Brewer, Arpaio and other assorted Tea Party nuts defining the state and its goals. Now we've got Palin too. I suspect that a major factor is that the state is a retirement target for all the elderly kooks from places like Alabama, Georgia, and yes---Oklahoma. "Goldwater Country" still beckons too much. Cheers, Jay I don't think the 'baggers would let Goldwater (or Reagan) in their 'lil hate club. I remember Goldwater saying on The Tonight Show, "Bill Clinton is MY President." Send e-mail to Bart BTW, Darrel Issa has a criminal record, as in car theft and other crimes. Why is he investigating anybody? What is today's Mystery Car?
Link Subject: Last issue's Mystery Car Link It's an Excalibur, but I lost the e-mail of the guy who ID'd it. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Sheriff Joe These stupid mother-effers love to hedge their bets eh Bart? Come the revolution Limbaugh and this sadistic prick will be hanging upsidedown from a tree somewhere mewling like sick kittens wondering what it was that gave offense. Couldn't anyone tell Pig Boy was just "kidding" and that Sheriff Joe's only crime was that he "cared too much"? Scott M Send e-mail to Bart Check out the news and toons at
The Roman Empire is Toast We're
on Twitter and Facebook
If you follow 'Bartcop' on Twitter/Facebook
you'll know when each new issue goes up. I have half a mind to leave this up until the election. Will Christian Rethugs really vote for a guy who thinks God lives on Kolob? Sarah Palin Nude Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: please post John Cole's comments from balloonjuice.com “For once in your god damned lives, put aside your fucking stupid beliefs about purity and how the public option was the bestest thing since sliced bread, accept the massive, game-changing victory you got today, and use it as a god damned bludgeon against the troglodytes whose health care plans are modeled after Ebeneezer Scrooge. For once, focus your bloodlust on Republicans instead of the DLC/Firebaggers/ANYONE WITHOUT AN (R) AFTER THEIR NAME. I’m begging you. For once in your lives turn a win into a win, just like the Republicans were able to do when I was a wingnut (and half the time they were able to turn a loss into a win). Don’t argue amongst yourselves about what would have been better- smash the Republicans around the head and neck with the cudgel you have been given. We’re not debating which Democratic plan would have been better, we’re debating the reality of what we have now versus the 18th century version of what Republicans would replace it with. Again, as a former wingnut and lifelong Republican until 2006 or 2007, I am fucking begging - treat a win like a win and use it to your advantage. The most depressing thing about becoming a Democrat after being a Republican for so many years is just watching Democrats shit the bed whenever they win. Press the fucking advantage. Please?” Link Tally Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Rupert vs. Church of $cientology IMHO, the Co$ (church of scientology) could teach Rupert a whole new level of evil. As someone who has been labeled an 'SP' (suppressive person - it's not a compliment), they are willing to go the extra distance in a way Rupert can only dream. Back in the late '70s, when Co$ went after Paulette Cooper, they broke into her house and stole her writing paper (it had her fingerprints on it) and then used that paper to issue death threats in her name. She was arrested and had years of legal wranglings. My own experience was creepy enough. My apartment was broken into several times. Nothing was ever stolen, but things were messed up - books pulled from shelves, papers moved into another room, messages written on the bathroom mirror... My car was tampered with - brake fluid was drained, radiator was drained, oil cap was removed... My employer received anonymous phone calls telling him that I was a thief, a liar, a whore, and worse. Unlike Paulette Cooper, I didn't write a book. No, all I did was try to explain to my then-boyfriend that a lot of Hubbard's philosophy was lifted from others. I even had the works that had been plagiarized handy. That was all it took. Once labeled 'SP', that means they feel you are less than sub-human, and all gloves are off. Lying is encouraged, especially if it assists in their quest. And that quest is to destroy you. While I despise Rupert and all he stands for, I hate Co$. Rupert still has to operate within some legal boundaries. Co$ has no boundaries and a total lack of ethics. If you think Kolob is wacky, look into Xenu. Operation Clambake - The Inner Secrets Of Scientology http://www.xenu.net/ thanks, (withheld) Send e-mail to Bart Mini-Pigboy leaves GOP Embarrassed by creepy CPAC performance "I'm not half the tool I used to be..." Link In February 2009, 13-year-old Jonathan Krohn gave, for some reason, a big televised speech at CPAC, the Fascist Teabagger movement’s annual convention, in which he expounded on “the future of conservatism” in a sort of political version of a creepy child pageant or impressive performing animal act. ha ha Liberals said that Krohn would eventually regret being thrust into such a prominent venue at such a young age, and it turns out we were to be proven right much faster than we expected. Krohn is now 17 years old, and he is so much more mature. He tells Politico’s Patrick Gavin that he is no longer a conservative. Krohn’s having completed the David Frum/Andrew Sullivan conversion process before he can even register to vote. He’s now pro-gay marriage and pro-Obama. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: your Blazing Saddles joke Bart, Even seeing that quote, from Slim Pickens if I remember correctly, cracked me up. What a movie!!!!! And yes I’m a liberal atheist in 2012, and no, I find nothing offensive about the Kansas City faggot quote. I don’t know any liberal who would, including my gay friends and co-workers. Carry on BC. Steve H Heck Bart – I’m as liberal as they come and I still laugh at Blazing Saddles. It’s humor…of courses I also enjoy Shakespeare as well…just crazy after all these years, I guess… Tony Mac Send e-mail to Bart Obama's Mess: Medical pot in Montana http://www.facebook.com/tom.daubert "I might get 20 years in federal prison because Obama has a problem with the legal pot laws in Montana." Link Tom sent me a DVD of Code of the West, (See Trailer here) which features much of his story, but it's mostly about the insane busybodies who have nothing else to do but crusade against dying people getting their medicine. Buy DVD HERE It was so frustrating to watch because it proves we haven't learned anything since Reefer Madness. Tom is getting sentenced in September - for obeying Montana laws. What's that like - to be facing 20 years in prison when you're a law-abiding citizen? Send e-mail to Bart The GOP's War on Women We're fighting the anti-progress GOP - can you help? You could PayPal something to bartcop@bartcop.com Click to Subscribe or Donate
..
or you could send a "love" check tobartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155 We accept credit cards Thank you I Was Born in June/November Bart Today's Mystery
Celebrity photo
Link Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link Bart, yesterday's Mystery Celebrity? That's Ella & Satchmo (Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong). Andy from Takoma Park Bart, it is the incomparable Ella Fitzgerald and Satchmo Louie Armstrong..., Harold S Send e-mail to Bart Wildlife
Close-up
Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Corn and Cats Welcome back Bart, I’m checking on the Bixby corn situation back there....too hot? too dry? Just checking. So far the sweet Bixby corn at Conrad Farms rocks. I took this picture yesterday. They took my advice - I used to say I'd pay a dollar per ear? Last year's crop was so bad they just let it burn in the sun. This year, I'm guessing, they spent a lot of money on water because a dozen ears costs $9.99. I'm driving to Bixby daily (8 miles) to get fresh corn - yum! Finally ... as a cat lover (my good old jeremiah is still going but he’s like his mom, getting older and hurtin’) I don’t know if you caught these.... http://affordablecarecat.com/ or http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002873384 I love the Canada one. ducks in cool oregon It's only 94 here today. Yesterday it was 95 in f-ing Minneapolis and records for high temps were broken in dozens of cities, but that's no proof global warming is real - neither are the out-of-control forest fires in Colorado. Do you see the thousands of dead trees on this Colorado mountain? They are LYING, just to help Obama's global warming hoax - just ask Jim Imhofe. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery City
Link Subject: last issue's mystery city Last Issue's Mystery City? Bart. Hey, that's Yorba Linda CA and the home is the birthplace of "Tricky Dick" aka Richard Millhouse Nixon. I still would not buy a used car from him but he certainly would be considered a moderate or even a liberal by today's party of Lincoln. He created the EPA after all. Jeff in Santa Fe We've become addicted to Pawn Stars on the History Channel. You can learn a lot watching that show. Recently, a customer sold the pawn shop a letter from Hellen Keller. In the letter she wrote, "In the time it talkes you to read this, TWO American workers will lose their sight due to metal or cinders (whatever) hitting their eyes while at work." I thought, "Thanks to Democrats and OSHA, that number is waaaay down." The GOP's motto is "Fuck 'em, you take your chances. It's too big a burden on business to be worrying about worker safety all the time." Another thing I learned watching Pawn Stars - they used to have "medicinal whiskey." Swear to Koresh, during Prohibition, if you really needed a drink, you went to your doctor and he'd write a prescription that you could take to the pharmacy and get a bottle of hooch. Why can't Americans learn from their past? "I wondered the same thing...." Send e-mail to Bart Today's History Mystery Link Subject: last issue's history mystery Bart, Last Issue's History Mystery is Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, and I don't know who the 3rd guy is. Steve SJ Bart, that's Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee (with Little Eddie Karpinsky). Mark with no last name That is Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee & Robert Wall, probably when they we filming the Way of the Dragon. Andy from Takoma Park The History Mystery that I screwed up is HERE Anyone know who the four dudes are? Subject: those four dudes... Bart, those are the original stooges, plus one. They're Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Warren Harding and Harvey Firestone. Sooz Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Thanks to Everyone is broke. June of 2012 set another record for least amount coming in. We're stuck in Bush's Nightmare until further notice but humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on. As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!" Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online. With Amazon.com you might even save yourself some money. It never hurts to check http://amzn.to/bartcop prices. Transformers star Megan Fox Check out over 100 sexy and tasteful photos of Megan Fox in BC Hotties Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties. Marty always has good stuff. Shopping online?
Use this
Amazon
portal http://amzn.to/bartcop
Read
the Previous Issue
of
bartcop.com
It had everything. Copyright
© 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002,
2003,
Thanks to bartcop.com subscribers. We
know you work
hard for your money, so we take it as
a compliment when you throw some our way each month.
Click
Here to see if reality
Marc Perkel's ChurchIf
it's
Real - we believe
in it!
To hear the
RADIO
SHOWS, you must
have a
login
and password. Click to get to the Archived Radio Shows bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor
|