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Tuesday, August 28, 2012 Vol 2928 - Hellride
Advertise with Bartcop.com, Spend Money, Make Money Two days just $35 One week just $75 Don't let Bush's recession beat you. Fight back! Advertise on bartcop.com. Quotes "Rihanna confessed to Oprah that she still loves Chris Brown. Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her," -- Joan Rivers, in a Tweet "Joan_Rivers wow u really do get slow when you're old huh?" -- Rihanna, trying to fight back - not her strong suit Next time he could kill her. When they find her body, people will say, "Isn't that sad?" Chris Brown will say, "I loved her TOO much, so I had to kill her." Why can't people learn? And why can't people learn you can't win a verbal war with an acid-tongued comedian? Send e-mail to Bart Majority: Rich need to pay more taxes Link As the income gap between rich and poor widens, a majority of Americans say the growing divide is bad for the country and believe that wealthy people are paying too little in taxes, according to a new survey. The new poll points to a particular challenge for Moneybags Romney, whose party's policies are viewed by a wide majority as favoring the rich over the middle class and poor. The poll found that many Americans believe rich people to be intelligent and hardworking but also greedy and less honest than the average American. 58 percent say the rich don't pay enough in taxes, while 26 percent believe the rich pay their fair share and 8 percent say they pay too much. This makes no sense. Polls say a majority think Moneybags would be better for the economy but then they say they disagree with Willard's plans to raise THEIR taxes to give MORE to the already-super-rich. It's almost like people are stupid or something. Send e-mail to Bart GOP's Luntz: Obama should win Link GOP Pollster Frank Luntz says Romney is going to need to take some of Obama's 2008 voters if he is to replace him in the White House. And to do that, Luntz adds, Romney needs to ask Obama voters two questions: "Did you get what you voted for, and will the next four years be any different?" Only by persuading enough people to answer "no" can Romney hope to topple Obama this November, Luntz told USA TODAY. "That's the path to victory," he said. "It's a very difficult path." They say Romney's single biggest problem is he's not seen as human. That's why Ann is going to try to "humanize" the job-killing robot tonight. Send e-mail to Bart Last night on CBS News, Buzz Aldrin said when they landed on the Moon, they had just 17 seconds of fuel left. Why am I just hearing this now, 43 years later? Or is this like acupuncture - everyone knew but me? Shop Online
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Are our Democrats doing anything about this? Or are they doing what they do EVERY election, which is wait until election week and THEN ask a judge to get involved only to hear, "It's too late." Tulsa's massive cricket invasion Link "We've had a real grasshopper explosion this year," said Bug Expert Grantham, "mostly in the pastures, grasslands and residential yards - especially the ones kept nice and green with lots of watering. They are attracted to that green color because they know there is good moisture and nutrients there. We can now walk out into pastures and pick up 50 per square yard - which is WAY above the level that causes damage." Mrs. Bart said there were so many thousands of crickets at her work building she had to enter thru a different door. The Honda guy said they has a massacre yesterday when hundreds of thousands of crickets swarmed one side of their dealership until a murder of birds showed up and had a field day. Global Warming - what will it take for people to open their damn eyes? The North Pole is Melting Earth is dying while we just stand there Link Scientists have used satellite pictures since 1979 to map the extent of such ice at its minimum, and the picture this year isn't pretty. Covering 1.5 million square miles, this summer's sea ice shattered the previous record for the smallest ice cap of 2. million square miles in 2005—a further loss of sea ice area equivalent to the states of California and Texas combined. "The sea ice cover this year has reached a new record low," says Mark Serreze of the U.S. National Snow and Ice Center. "It's not just that we beat the old record, we annihilated it." This story in today's USA Today started this way: The world looks to America to take the lead on this, but America is run by religiously insane climate deniers and our pitiful Dems are too meek to speak up. Oh well, it's just the planet we live on - who cares if we fry ourselves? Send e-mail to Bart Bhabi Jindal wants MORE Govt Says Obama hasn't helped Louisiana enough Link Obama declared a state of emergency in Louisiana on Monday as that state and others along the Gulf Coast prepared for Tropical Storm Isaac. The White House said Obama informed Louisiana Gov. Bhabi Jindal of the emergency declaration in a phone call. The declaration makes federal support available to save lives, protect public health and safety and preserve property in coastal areas. Jindal, a Teabagger Republican, shot back late Monday in a letter to Obama that the declaration fell short of the help he was requesting. "We appreciate your response to our request and your approval," Jindal wrote. "However, the state's original request for federal assistance .... included a request for reimbursement for all emergency protective measures. The federal declaration of emergency only provides for direct federal assistance." Impatient little bastard, isn't he? He wants Obama to pay for a storm that hasn't hit yet? What happened to that Teabagging "rugged individualism?" What happened to "We don't need a big federeal government?" We recently had wildfires here that did a lot of damage. Of course, these strident Okie Teabaggers are demanding money from Washington. "Government is TOO BIG," they say, until they need it. Then they go running home like a 22 year-old who just lost his job at McDonalds Send e-mail to Bart Willard's Hurricane Dilemma What can the Repugnants do with this Hurricane? Everyone is saying how terrible it will look to have a split-screen for Willard's speech with the citizens of New Orleans being evacuated on one screen while Repugs scream "Nigger" at the White House on the other screen. It's a real problem for Mr. Insincere. BTW, yesterday, Douche Blitzer spent several hours screaming "It's another Katrina," with that breathless sparkle in his voice to let us know how thrilled he was saying those words. I know that smug bastard got wood each time (there were dozens) he said, "Isaac will hit New Orleans on the Katrina anniversary day at the same area." Douche was like a nine-year old girl singing "Call Me Maybe" over and over. Really, CNN? Douche Blitzer is your BEST guy to have on during an emergency? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Republican Debt Clock Stunt might backfire The Republican party started a debt clock at their GOP convention to try to make a point about how fast the national debt is climbing. However the debt clock stunt might backfire because Republicans are counting on Americans being stupid and having a short memory. In 2001 when President Clinton handed America over to George W. Bush we had a budget surplus. The debt clock was going down. But during the 8 years America was under Republican control the Republicans turned Clinton’s surplus’s into trillions of dollars in debt. During the Bush years Republicans didn’t care about deficit spending. Cheney said, “Reagan taught us that deficits don’t matter.” When Obama took over as President, the banking system had failed, we were losing 750,000 jobs a month, and America was collapsing. After Obama took over he did want he could to fix the economy. But the Republicans have been working hard to try to make America fail for the sole purpose of trying to blame Obama for a debt Republicans created. Republicans want us to forget the Clinton surplus, the Bush collapse, and believe that it’s all Obama’s fault because he failed to clean up Bush’s mess in just 3 1/2 years. The debt clock reminds me of Republican failures, not Obama's. Marc Perkel It's still Obama's race to lose, but a successful Nazi-Con could change that. A weak response to Isaac could hurt Obama, too. Send e-mail to Bart Marty
has
new stuff every
day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page Marty's TV Listings are the best! San Francisco's new DWI Bishop Sergio Cordileone. Oh well, at least he wasn't caught raping a child. Marty always has good stuff. Sarah Palin Nude Link Send e-mail to Bart Quotes "It's impressive that the GOP has gathered all the people in America who think Mitt's tax rate is too high in one convention center in Tampa." -- LOLGOP in a Tweet Send e-mail to Bart Thought for the Day... Just because the Repugnants claim "Nobody over 55 will be affected by our Medicare changes" certainly doesn't make that claim true. I'm giving you my Nancy Grace Guarantee this is going to happen: Once they get in power, they're going to say, "Our top priority is to stop spending money we don't have and can't afford. We don't have a magic wand that we can wave and suddenly make Medicare and Social Security solvent ...so we have to cut back," and there goes that guarantee to the 55-and-up crowd They can't be trusted. But wait, have you heard the latest? Old people BELIEVE Romney and Ryan so Obama has gained ZERO points from, say, Florida's seniors. But the 35-55 age group now figures they're surely going to get screwed so Obama is surging amongst 35-55 nationwide. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: 400 people are shot dead at work Bart, funny....if the headline were something like: "About 400 people a year are killed by drunk drivers...." we'd have so much uproar from MADD... --dave, in Portlandia OR...who thinks you should at least visit this town. Dave, we plan to visit in the Fall, which is near. Send e-mail to Bart What is today's Mystery
Car?
Link Subject: Last issue's Mystery Car Link Bart, thanks for reminding us of that Jaguar XJ220. Only 281 were built between 1992 and 1994. The 3.5 L V6 turbo had a targeted speed of 220 MPH, hence it’s name. Originally it was to have been powered by the 6.2 L V12, however the 3.5 L engine actually produced more power. Graham Send e-mail to Bart Gov't seeks to ban facts in court It could only be a case about medical marijuana Link Federal prosecutors pursuing drug charges against two medical marijuana operators have asked a judge to bar from the proceedings any mention of medical uses of the drug or state laws regulating it. If U.S. District Judge Dana Christensen rules in favor of the request, it would be a setback for the operators who say their compliance with Montana law should protect them from prosecution. U.S. Assistant Attorney Joe Thaggard argues state law is irrelevant to the federal charges against Chris Williams and Chris Lindsey, the Independent Record reported (http://bit.ly/O94iPi). "The intertwined subjects of medical marijuana, Montana law, and medical necessity have no relevance to determining whether the government has proven the crimes charged in the indictment," Thaggard wrote. "Marijuana is a Schedule I controlled substance under federal law and can't be dispensed under a prescription." But Williams and Lindsey say they followed state laws regulating medical marijuana distribution. They were two of the owners of the now-defunct Montana Cannabis, one of the businesses raided in a March 2011 crackdown on large pot operations across the state. Federal prosecutors seek to prevent a jury from even hearing mention of state medical marijuana laws. By all means, keep the jury in the dark and don't let them see all the facts. Send e-mail to Bart Quotes "The best part about Mitt losing will be Newt not being able to resist saying, "I told you so." -- LOLGOP in a tweet Send e-mail to Bart We're
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you'll know when each new issue goes up. Medical pot Mess in Montana Subject: My sentencing Bart, my sentencing is Thursday next week. It will be interesting. The feds are planning to put some DEA folks on the stand to smear me on the basis of weapons they found at the greenhouse long after i disassociated. Tom Tom, I think you're getting a royal screwing for no reason. I wish our president would allow some logic into his pot position. We'll be thinking about you with our fingers crossed. If I believed in God I would be praying for you. http://www.facebook.com/tom.daubert "I might get 20 years in federal prison because 'the Feds' have a problem with the legal pot laws in Montana." Link Send e-mail to Bart The GOP's War on women and non-whites We're fighting the anti-progress GOP - can you help? Support bartcop.com the way the racists supported Chick-fil-A You could PayPal something to bartcop@bartcop.com Click to Subscribe or Donate
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or you could send a "love" check tobartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155 We accept credit cards Thank you Subject: Jay Leno forced to take Pay Cut "What's wrong with the Tonight Show?" -- well, last night, Jay's guest was Dennis Miller, spewing the same unfunny crap he was spewing in 2004, and Jay was eating it up. Just for giving this totally unfunny shitsack of an excuse for a human being a forum, Leno should be cancelled, and forced to pay back every penny he's accepted from NBC since 2000. Jon B I tuned in to see how unfunny Miller would be - he made Jay seem funny. Jay even teased Miller about using 40 year-old references. Dennis Miller thinks cutting-edge comedy is calling Nancy Pelosi "old." Gee Dennis, she's 72 so yeah, she's kind of old. What's next, Dennis? "Hurricanes are wet?" Lebo asked why he wasn't in Tampa and Miller feigned shock: "Moi? Why would *I* be in Tampa? I'm no Republican!" Sorry, Dennis, but you ARE. Republican forever - that's Dennis Miller. Since you blew George W. Bush on live TV that's your ONLY gig. Remember, Miller had the BEST JOB in all of TV, the job Bill Maher has now, but he lost it all when he turned Nazi PIG right before our eyes. Now Bill O'Reilly is tossing him pity bookings as O'Reilly's live tour warm-up, a horrible comedown for the once-funniest white man in America. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery
Celebrity photo
Don't
Look DownLink Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link Hey Bart, That's Vanessa Hudgens in Gimme Shelter. Mark with no last name Correct. Hard to figure how they got from there to there. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Wildlife
Photo...
Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Re: Rape-Pregnancy Hi, Bart On the topic of a woman being raped yet able to shut things down and not get pregnant, please google ETHEL WATERS BIOGRAPHY, and have a look at her life on Wikipedia. Talk about paying your dues to sing the blues! Thanks, Bart! Ann in Minnesota Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery City
Link Subject: last issue's mystery city Link Bart, that's Los Angeles from Mulholland Drive, Jerry Send e-mail to Bart Today's History Mystery Link Subject: last issue's history mystery Link Hi Bart, That looks like electrical engineering pioneer and genius Nikola Tesla. seldomread Bart, That's Nikola Tesla. He is the one responsible for almost every aspect of our way of life. From radio to ingnition systems and anything that has an electric motor. What Edison was to America, Tesla was to the world. Dave, Cincinnati Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Hi Bart I got a summer job playing keys at Disneyland so I wanted to share my luck with you. (via PayPal) Don't know what I would do without a daily BC fix. Cheers, Rick from Fullerton Rick, thanks for that and congrats on the job. I think I can last until the end of the year but I may go dark in 2013. There's a trick to the banner ads that I just can't figure out. I'm putting up 8 times the content and making less money than ever. I've offered a cash reward for a solution - can't get no takers. I thought I'd make some money in this election year but I was wrong. But hey, I had a great 16-year run, from 1996 till 2012. If they approve my Social Security Disability, I might rest my hands. Promise: I will not retire suddenly. Everyone is broke, but you're still buying necessities, right? Buying them thru Amazon helps keep bartcop.com on the InnerNets and you might even save some money.. Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on. As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!" Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online. It never hurts to check http://amzn.to/bartcop prices. Sally Ortiz A.K.A. Vanessa Marcil Check out almost 200 sexy and tasteful photos of Vanessa Marcil More in BC Hotties Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties.
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