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Tuesday, August 28, 2012 Vol 2928 - Hellride

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...


	Majority: Rich need to pay more
	GOP's Luntz: Obama should win
	Jindal wants MORE Govt
	Willard's Hurricane Dilemma
	Tulsa's massive cricket invasion
	Gov't seeks to ban facts in court
	Sally Ortiz A.K.A. Vanessa Marcil

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Quotes

"Rihanna confessed to Oprah that she still loves Chris Brown.
Idiot! Now it's MY turn to slap her,"
    -- Joan Rivers, in a Tweet

"Joan_Rivers wow u really do get slow when you're old huh?"
   -- Rihanna, trying to fight back - not her strong suit

Next time he could kill her.
When they find her body, people will say, "Isn't that sad?"

Chris Brown will say, "I loved her TOO much, so I had to kill her."

Why can't people learn?

And why can't people learn you can't win a verbal war with an acid-tongued comedian?

Send e-mail to Bart

Majority: Rich need to pay more taxes

Link

As the income gap between rich and poor widens, a majority of Americans say the growing divide
is bad for the country and believe that wealthy people are paying too little in taxes, according to a new survey.

The new poll points to a particular challenge for Moneybags Romney, whose party's policies are viewed
by a wide majority as favoring the rich over the middle class and poor.

The poll found that many Americans believe rich people to be intelligent and hardworking but also greedy
and less honest than the average American. 58 percent say the rich don't pay enough in taxes, while 26
percent believe the rich pay their fair share and 8 percent say they pay too much.

This makes no sense.

Polls say a majority think Moneybags would be better for the economy but then they say
they disagree with Willard's plans to raise THEIR taxes to give MORE to the already-super-rich.

It's almost like people are stupid or something.

Send e-mail to Bart

GOP's Luntz: Obama should win

Link

GOP Pollster Frank Luntz says Romney is going to need to take some
of Obama's 2008 voters if he is to replace him in the White House.

And to do that, Luntz adds, Romney needs to ask Obama voters two questions:
"Did you get what you voted for, and will the next four years be any different?"

Only by persuading enough people to answer "no" can Romney hope to topple
Obama this November, Luntz told USA TODAY.

"That's the path to victory," he said. "It's a very difficult path."

They say Romney's single biggest problem is he's not seen as human.

That's why Ann is going to try to "humanize" the job-killing robot tonight.

Send e-mail to Bart

Last night on CBS News, Buzz Aldrin said when they landed
on the Moon, they had just 17 seconds of fuel left.

Why am I just hearing this now, 43 years later?
Or is this like acupuncture - everyone knew but me?

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Are our Democrats doing anything about this?

Or are they doing what they do EVERY election,
which is wait until election week and THEN ask a judge
to get involved only to hear, "It's too late."

Tulsa's massive cricket invasion

Link

"We've had a real grasshopper explosion this year," said Bug Expert Grantham, "mostly in the pastures,
grasslands and residential yards - especially the ones kept nice and green with lots of watering. They are
attracted to that green color because they know there is good moisture and nutrients there. We can now
walk out into pastures and pick up 50 per square yard - which is WAY above the level that causes damage."

Mrs. Bart said there were so many thousands of crickets at her work building
she had to enter thru a different door.

The Honda guy said they has a massacre yesterday when hundreds of thousands of crickets
swarmed one side of their dealership until a murder of birds showed up and had a field day.

Global Warming - what will it take for people to open their damn eyes?

The North Pole is Melting
Earth is dying while we just stand there

Link

Scientists have used satellite pictures since 1979 to map the extent of such ice at its minimum,
and the picture this year isn't pretty. Covering 1.5 million square miles, this summer's sea ice
shattered the previous record for the smallest ice cap of 2. million square miles in 2005—a further
loss of sea ice area equivalent to the states of California and Texas combined.

"The sea ice cover this year has reached a new record low," says Mark Serreze of the U.S. National
Snow and Ice Center. "It's not just that we beat the old record, we annihilated it."

This story in today's USA Today started this way:

The world looks to America to take the lead on this, but America is run by
religiously insane climate deniers and our pitiful Dems are too meek to speak up.

Oh well, it's just the planet we live on - who cares if we fry ourselves?

Send e-mail to Bart

Astrocat

Bhabi Jindal wants MORE Govt
Says Obama hasn't helped Louisiana enough

Link

Obama declared a state of emergency in Louisiana on Monday as that state
and others along the Gulf Coast prepared for Tropical Storm Isaac.

The White House said Obama informed Louisiana Gov. Bhabi Jindal of the emergency declaration
in a phone call. The declaration makes federal support available to save lives, protect public health
and safety and preserve property in coastal areas. Jindal, a Teabagger Republican, shot back late
Monday in a letter to Obama that the declaration fell short of the help he was requesting.

"We appreciate your response to our request and your approval," Jindal wrote. "However, the state's
original request for federal assistance .... included a request for reimbursement for all emergency
protective measures. The federal declaration of emergency only provides for direct federal assistance."

Impatient little bastard, isn't he?
He wants Obama to pay for a storm that hasn't hit yet?

What happened to that Teabagging "rugged individualism?"
What happened to "We don't need a big federeal government?"

We recently had wildfires here that did a lot of damage.
Of course, these strident Okie Teabaggers are demanding money from Washington.

"Government is TOO BIG," they say, until they need it.
Then they go running home like a 22 year-old who just lost his job at McDonalds

Send e-mail to Bart

Check out the news and toons at

Read all about it!

on the Bart Blog!

Willard's Hurricane Dilemma

What can the Repugnants do with this Hurricane?

Everyone is saying how terrible it will look to have a split-screen for
Willard's speech with the citizens of New Orleans being evacuated on one screen
while Repugs scream "Nigger" at the White House on the other screen.

It's a real problem for Mr. Insincere.

BTW, yesterday, Douche Blitzer spent several hours screaming "It's another Katrina,"
with that breathless sparkle in his voice to let us know how thrilled he was saying those words.

I know that smug bastard got wood each time (there were dozens) he said,
"Isaac will hit New Orleans on the Katrina anniversary day at the same area."

Douche was like a nine-year old girl singing "Call Me Maybe" over and over.

Really, CNN?

Douche Blitzer is your BEST guy to have on during an emergency?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Republican Debt Clock Stunt might backfire

The Republican party started a debt clock at their GOP convention to try to make a point
about how fast the national debt is climbing. However the debt clock stunt might backfire
because Republicans are counting on Americans being stupid and having a short memory.

In 2001 when President Clinton handed America over to George W. Bush we had a budget surplus.
The debt clock was going down. But during the 8 years America was under Republican control
the Republicans turned Clinton’s surplus’s into trillions of dollars in debt.

During the Bush years Republicans didn’t care about deficit spending. Cheney said,
“Reagan taught us that deficits don’t matter.” When Obama took over as President, the banking
system had failed, we were losing 750,000 jobs a month, and America was collapsing.

After Obama took over he did want he could to fix the economy. But the Republicans have been
working hard to try to make America fail for the sole purpose of trying to blame Obama for a debt
Republicans created.

Republicans want us to forget the Clinton surplus, the Bush collapse, and believe that
it’s all Obama’s fault because he failed to clean up Bush’s mess in just 3 1/2 years.
The debt clock reminds me of Republican failures, not Obama's.
Marc Perkel

It's still Obama's race to lose, but a successful Nazi-Con could change that.

A weak response to Isaac could hurt Obama, too.

Send e-mail to Bart

mikemalloy.com

Marty has new stuff every day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

San Francisco's new DWI Bishop Sergio Cordileone.
Oh well, at least he wasn't caught raping a child.

Today's Mystery City

Link

Subject: last issue's mystery city Link

Bart, that's Los Angeles from Mulholland Drive,
Jerry

Send e-mail to Bart

Astrocat Bonus

Today's History Mystery

Link

Subject: last issue's history mystery Link

Hi Bart,
That looks like electrical engineering pioneer and genius Nikola Tesla.
seldomread

Bart,
That's Nikola Tesla. He is the one responsible for almost every aspect of our way of life.
From radio to ingnition systems and anything that has an electric motor.
What Edison was to America, Tesla was to the world.
Dave, Cincinnati

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Hi Bart

I got a summer job playing keys at Disneyland so I wanted to share my luck with you. (via PayPal)
Don't know what I would do without a daily BC fix.

Cheers,
Rick from Fullerton

Rick, thanks for that and congrats on the job.
I think I can last until the end of the year but I may go dark in 2013.

There's a trick to the banner ads that I just can't figure out.
I'm putting up 8 times the content and making less money than ever.
I've offered a cash reward for a solution - can't get no takers.

I thought I'd make some money in this election year but I was wrong.

But hey, I had a great 16-year run, from 1996 till 2012.
If they approve my Social Security Disability, I might rest my hands.

Promise: I will not retire suddenly.

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Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.
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Sally Ortiz A.K.A. Vanessa Marcil

Check out almost 200 sexy and tasteful photos of Vanessa Marcil

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