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Weekend-Monday, Jan 5-7, 2013 Vol 2994 - Mercifully and mercilessly
Advertise with Bartcop.com, Spend Money, Make Money Two days just $35 One week just $70 Don't let Bush's recession beat you. Fight back! Advertise on bartcop.com Quotes "As a comedian, you can't not have disdain for what he's done: He totally sold out. He was a master chef who opened a Burger King." -- Jimmy Kimmel, slamming the very unfunny Jay Leno Link Send e-mail to Bart by William Hudec Link It is indeed early, but speculation is riding high as to Hillary in 2016. Considering her, Carville said, "Every Democrat I know says, 'I hope she runs.' " Carville added, "We don't need a primary, let's just go to post with this thing." Newt Gingrich said of Hillary, "The Republican Party is incapable of competing at that level." So, no matter how they attempt to twist and spin to make 2016 look interesting, if Hillary wants to be the our candidate in 2016, the nomination is hers. And after she gets the nomination, she will be this nation's 45th president. ...anybody wanting to bet against Hillary? Send e-mail to Bart GOP Clown Car Crashes Again by Joe Conason Link Observing the GOP repeatedly stumble in and out of their caucus clown car, blowing loud kazoos and muttering angry threats, should be painful, embarrassing, and highly instructive to any American voter with the patience to watch. When their latest performance concluded late Tuesday night with a 257 to 187 vote passing the stopgap fiscal deal negotiated by the Senate and the White House, an unavoidable question lingered: What is wrong with those people? The simple explanation is that the House of Representatives has increasingly been dominated over the past two decades by a coterie of tantrum-prone extremists, who lack the probity and steadiness required for democratic self-government. Their diminished capacity is reflected in the low quality of leadership they have chosen during this long twilight, from Newt Gingrich, Dennis Hastert and Tom DeLay to John Boehner and Eric Cantor, even as their politics have grown more and more extreme. Under the stress of their incoherence, the Republican caucus is unable to escape one humiliating mess after another. The damage they routinely inflict on the country is reaching incalculable levels - and is almost certain to grow worse when they again hold the debt ceiling hostage next month. Well, I feel better - don't you? What will the snarling dogs be like after they lose in 2016? FOX News will say the Republicans they lost 2016 because they weren't extreme enough. The vulhar Pigboy will say they lost because they weren't mean enough to minorities. So the Teabaggers will double-down in 2016 and be 3 times the asshole Romney was - if that's possible. The only chance they have at the White House is admitting they were wrong and opening their arms and their party to joining Democrats in welcoming "those people" and that's NOT going to happen. They'd rather die first ...and that's OK by me. Send e-mail to Bart Shop
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Stigmatizing Mental Illness by Gene Lyons Link Of all the outrages to decency and common sense during Wayne LaPierre’s bizarre Sandy Hook press conference, the most offensive may have been his depiction of America as a dark hell haunted by homicidal maniacs. “The truth,” LaPierre insisted, “is that our society is populated by an unknown number of genuine monsters — people so deranged, so evil, so possessed by voices and driven by demons that no sane person can possibly ever comprehend them. They walk among us every day. And does anybody really believe that the next Adam Lanza isn’t planning his attack on a school he’s already identified at this very moment?” Monsters, evil, possessed. Demons, for the love of God. Is this the 21st century, or the 17th? In LaPierre’s mind, like many adepts of the gun cult, it follows that every grown man and woman must equip themselves with an AR-15 semi-automatic killing machine with a 30-round banana clip to keep monsters out of elementary schools. Die Hard: With a Blackboard. I'm sure somebody has pointed this out, but I haven't seen it so I'll say it: If all the teachers at school carry assault rifles, what happens if they have a bad day? If Teacher A finds out his wife is banging Teacher B, and he's got an AK-47 at hand, isn't he a hundred times more likely to kill Teacher B compared to someone who found out - but then calmed down before he had a chance to seek revenge? Maybe the biggest problem the NRA has is they don't just want everyone armed. They want everyone armed with a weapon that can kill 26 people in a few moments. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Let's hold Republicans Hostage Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Zeppelin Bart, when I got my first set of drums I wanted to be Ringo Starr. You must be older than me :) Then I wanted to be Stewart Copland. Then I wanted to be Neil Peart. Then I wanted to be Buddy Rich. Led Zeppelin were fine as live performers, but they STOLE virtually ALL of their good songs from other people, and then lied about it, until they were forced in court to finally give credit to the actual authors of the original material. You only get accused of theft when you hit it really, really big. On their best night, however, they weren't half the live act that The Who were. Sergio in Akron ha ha Are you pulling my lariat? Is that you, Artie? I can say this: Pete Townsend used to jump a lot higher than Jimmy Page ever did. I'm glad you have a passion for music. Send e-mail to Bart Today's Don't Look Down Photo Link Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Let's fight about Zep Send e-mail to Bart Let's Stop Coddling the Rich ...if you really want to fix the deficit Link Send e-mail to Bart Wal-Mart vs The Morons Link Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private employer. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and they did this in only 15 years. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy. The writer goes on to praise Wal-Mart, saying we should make them our government because they really know how to run a big company, which makes as much sense as saying we should make Quentin Tarantino president because his films always make a profit. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Demo-peaceniks? Because you have long had the Neocon attitude regarding starting wars ("Any war we can start in the Middle East is a good war"). Jerry Really? *I* wrote that? Were we drinking when we sent that e-mail? Everything I've ever written in still online. Which issue was that in? This is the same problem I had in the summer of 2008. I lost hundreds of subscribers because of "all the terribly racist things I wrote about Obama," but when I asked for an example of my racism, they couldn't quote me. If you can't point to it, maybe it never happened? But, when you compare me to the liberal peacenik who says, "Violence is ALWAYS wrong - I wouldn't fight you even if you were stealing my kids," then yes, under those circumstances I'm ready to go to war. You should be, too. Today's Sarah Palin Nude Photo Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Donation to you! My wife and I won the Euro Millions Lottery & will be donating £1.5 Million Pounds to you in our ongoing lucky draws donations. Please get back to us with your Name, Age, Tel, Country and i will send you more details how your funds will be sent to you. Please read the article Gillian & Adrian Bayford Cool! Now I can quit this no-money-making job and... Eh, ...What? That's a scam? ...to get my bank account number? Oh No - what have I done? Reminder: We ARE accepting bids on Steve's fine art and the opening bid doesn't have to be $200. Subject: fund-raising with art Bart -- Interestingly, the past couple of days I'd been thinking exactly what Mario the Photographer suggested so I attached a couple of photos for you: A
black and white and a colored drawing -- pick one or use both if you
wish. People
tend to be more attracted to color but I prefer my black and
whites. Hope this idea
brings in some cash for you... The Juggler is 9x12 and Beautiful Day is 11x11.5. So, what would you bid for this original art? Send your bid for art to Bart Marty's
Entertainment Page
has new stuff every day Marty's TV Listings are the best! Marty
always has good stuff. Bartcop's Computer Repair
We can fix your computer We do the repairs magically, over the Net. Goodbye to the Insane Bunch
Link Ah. Another legislative session over, another swearing in of a whole new class of bright-eyed, bushy-tailed lawmakers, eager as all get-out to start protecting the rich, screwing the poor, and grandstanding about 'Merica and light bulb freedom and shrinking the gubmint so it's small enough to drown in a bathtub—or fit inside a vagina. But before we welcome the newest members, let us take a moment to say so long, farewell, please-oh-pretty-please let the door hit you on the way out to those extra-special sons of bitches we can't wait to not miss: The deadbeat dad. The pimp daddy centerfold. The not-intended-to-be-a-factual-statement maker. The pouty teabagger. The lunatic. The magic-believing misogynist. And of course, Joe Lieberman. Maybe with Lierbeman gone, we'll get less of Douche Blitzer's ridiculous giggling each time he calls Kissyface, Graham and McCain "The Three Musketteers." Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery Car Link Subject: last issue's Mystery Car Link Bart, it’s a 1947 Lincoln Convertible Michael in Oregon Know Your Classics Link Subject: last issue's Classic Link Hi, Bart. Gotta be from Roots by Alex Haley. Phillip R. Send e-mail to Bart "Cash only" at the Vatican
Italy cut them off for "irregularities" Link Italy has blocked the use of credit and debit cards in the tiny autonomy of the Catholic Church, because of concerns over financial transparency, inconveniencing tourists - one of the Vatican's biggest sources of income. The world keeps changing. In 2001, I was smarter than the president of the United States and now I have better credit than Da Vinci-owning Benny the Rat. Send e-mail to Bart Know your Supermodels Link Subject: Last issue's supermodel Link Bart, I’m thinking that’s Laetitia Casta. Mark the Dentist Send e-mail to Bart They say this is the most re-tweeted photo ever. Dumbest Facebook Post Ever? Link An Oregon teenager has landed himself in the county jail for posting about his drunk-driving hit-and-run escapade. "Drivin drunk ... classsic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P" was the post that led to the arrest of Jacob Cox-Brown in Astoria, Oregonn. Upon reading that post, two of Jacob's friends called the cops. The police went to Jacob's house and arrested his dumb ass. "Hi, I'm Jacob, the idiot/felon." Send e-mail to Bart Today's Wildlife Photo Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Folsom Prison Blues Bart, Well now, I never thought the man was necessarily in prison in Folsom for that exact crime in Reno. Preceding mention of the unpleasantness in Reno, he reaches way back to his childhood, when his Momma told him not to play with guns, then "but I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die". So, it may be that the murder in Reno was just the turning point in his life where he forgot Momma's lessons and started his life of crime, which eventually, with who knows how many crimes in between, led him to be stuck in Folsom Prison. You could also say that it is a loooooong train ride from Folsom "down to San Antone", too, over 1700 miles. That's a lot of coffee and cigars... Kevin K in Washington, DC Subject: Folsom Prison Blues Q: If Johnny Cash shot a man in Reno (Nevada) just to watch him die, why did he do time in Folsom Prison in Cully-fornia? A: Federal Crime. Federal prison. Doesn't have to be in the same state as the crime. Not an educated answer...just a likely one. Gino in Isanti, MN Send e-mail to Bart Today's Mystery
Celebrity Photo
Link Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link Bart, that's Stefania-Sandrelli, an Italian actress from the 60s. Mark with no last name Mark with no last name is hard to stump. Send e-mail to Bart The GOP's War on women FAILED We're fighting the anti-progress GOP - can you help? Support bartcop.com the way the racists supported Chick-fil-A You could PayPal something to bartcop@bartcop.com Click to Subscribe or make a one-time Donatation
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you could send a "love" check tobartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155 We accept credit cards Thank you Hey, I think he stole that from me... :) Today's Mystery City Link Subject: last issue's Mystery City Link Bart, that's the entrance to the Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock, AR. And yes, it does have a section on impeachment and Monica. Paul in Little Rock Paul, there SHOULD be a section on impeachment - because it happened. I wonder how prominent the Arming Terrorists exhibit is in the Reagan Library, if at all? I wonder how prominent the I-had-to-pardon-Reagan's-cabinet-to-stay-out-of-prison exhibit is in the Bush-the-Smarter Library, if at all? I wonder how prominent the I-got-5,000-soldiers-killed-trying-to-one-up-my-Daddy exhibit is in the Bush-the-Dumber Library, if at all? I've said it a thousand times: All we have to do is list the facts and we look pretty good. The GOP can't list the facts because they are guilty, guilty, guilty. Send e-mail to Bart What is today's History Mystery? Link Subject: last issue's History Mystery Link Bart, you almost had me on this one. That is Hal Smith, better known as “Otis Campbell”, the town drunk from The Andy Griffith Show. His is one of those faces you know by heart, but sometimes say “where did I see him?” He provided the voice for lots of familiar cartoon characters, including “Yappee” from Yippee, Yappee, and Yahooey” Rick the Business Analyst Subject: last issue's History Mystery That’s Hal Smith who played Otis Campbell on Andy Griffith. My favorite character and the one I modeled my life after. Steve ha ha Subject: last issue's History Mystery Hi Bart, I am having a hard time telling if it is John Boehner or Otis Campbell Graham Subject: donation Bart, thanks for ten years of keeping me sane. Best wishes to you, Mrs. Bart and the Bart Critters, Pauline in Hayward Pauline, you're the best - thanks. Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on. As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!" Amazon.com is my best bet to staying on the InnerNets. ...and if you shop with them, you might even save some money. Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online. It never hurts to check http://amzn.to/bartcop prices. That 70s Gal - Mila Kunis Check out over 850 sexy and tasteful photos of Mila Kunis More babes in BC Hotties Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties... Send Your Hottie Suggestion to Bart Use
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