Bob Dole told this joke to Larry King in 1992.
"There's good news and bad news, Larry.
The good news is a busload of supply-siders just went off a cliff.
The bad news is, there were 2 empty seats."
Poor Bob Dole.
Those last 2 seats?
Dole and Kemp.
Y'know, Kemp-Dole would be a better ticket.
Is Dole too old to be President?
He's 73 years of age.
Should Bob Dole have his finger on the button?
My Grampa is a year younger than Bob Dole,
and we don't let him handle the TV remote.
RL-LNW has a mole in the Pentagon.
He tells RL-LNW that if Dole wins,
( I know..I know.. )
they have a "stunt" button prepared.
If Bob Dole ever gets confused and hits the button,
he'll hear a bunch of bells and whistles go off.
Then they'll call Kemp.
Larry King: Governor Wilson, when you talked to Dole earlier
today,
did you ask why Ralph Reed blackballed you from the podium?
Gov. Wilson: I doubt Dole's even aware of it.
A Family Affair
Al Franken got on the wrong side of Snoot Gingrich with
a joke recently. Now Snooty's mom is on his case.
"In politics, you have to take it, but why include me?"
Kathleen Gingrich whined, adding that she would've walked out
of the White House correspondents dinner had she been there.
The joke involved Snoot's comment about women in combat.
"Females have biological problems staying in a ditch for
30 days because they would get infections."
Said Franken, "The image that came to mind is Snoot,
15 years ago explaining to his 13-year-old daughter that
she'd just gotten her first infection."
Snoot threatened to punch Franken in the nose.
Bob Dole says "Clinton hit the American people
with the largest tax increase in history."
Do your Ediotr a favor.
Try to find somebody that got hurt by that tax increase.
The top 1.5% of the wealthy paid for that tax increase.
The Micheal Jordan's, the Rush Limba's, the Kennedys,
the Eisners, the Geffens, the Novaks etc.
We only have 100 subscribers to RL-LNW.
I'll bet there's not a single subscriber that can pick up
a phone and talk to someone who took a hit on their taxes.
Try for me, would you?
I'll print your e-mail verbatim.
Statistically, I don't think our 100 can't get
a taxpayer on the phone who was in the top 1.5%.
So, nobody you know got hurt, right?
The new Time Magazine mentions our LNW.
They say Richard Jewell, the Olympic bomber suspect is "a Rush Limbaugh
weigh-alike."
I'm NOT making this up.
Jesus, I wish I could write like that.
Do you think Rush Limba kisses his mother with that filthy mouth?
Great GOP Quotes
"Let a wave of hatred wash over you.
Yes, hate is good...
Our goal is a Christian nation.
We have a biblical duty;
We are called on by God to conquer this country."
- Randall Terry, head of Operation Rescue
(shudder...)
When Dole called Kemp, he had to wait.
Jack was scraping the "Forbes" sticker off his car.
Y'know, Powell-Kemp would be a better ticket.
"Bob Dole never met a tax he didn't hike.
When Bob Dole talks about leadership for the future,
he's the man who led the fight for five major
tax increases in the past five years."
-Jack Kemp, St. Petersburg Times, 2/11/88
Y'know, Powell-Dole would be a better ticket.
The Republicans are saying "polls don't count."
When Dole gets his 8 point bump in San Diego,
will they still say polls don't count?
GOP Quotes
"Jack Kemp played too many games without a helmet."
--Bob Dole, talking about supply-siders.
Remember George Bush's best buddy, Willie Horton?
Some say Willie cost Dukakis the 1988 election.
Thank God Bush had Willie Horton on his team.
Horton was let out on a pre-parole release program
and committed rape and some other heinous crimes.
That made Dukakis "soft on crime."
The animal that murdered Polly Klaas was released
early by Pete Wilson, which is OK.
He's a Republican.
August 6, a family was murdered in Oklahoma City after
Governor keating released a man from prison early.
There's no problem, though.
Keating is a Republican.
Funny how Horton's rape was a bigger issue than the
murders of Polly Klaas and the Oklahoma family.
The conservative media refuses to print the facts.
America needs a more liberal press.
Y'know, BartCop-Dole might be a better ticket.
One other thought on Dole's abortion sell-out:
There are 130 million women in America, mostly pro-choice.
Dole is willing to lose those votes to placate
the 10% of the women on the farthest right.
Is Bob Dole bad with numbers?
Is this "creation math?"
He said he likes doing things the hard way, but this is ridiculous.
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