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What
Big Test?
by Frank Rich of the NYW Times
Excerpt:
Is George W. Bush a puppet reading a script,
and if so is the ventriloquist Dick Cheney,
Karl Rove or Karen Hughes? Or is the new
president a reincarnation of Ronald Reagan,
a charming leader whose use of cue cards,
reliance on aides and short workday belie his
strength of character, conviction and perhaps
even intellect?
The answers are not at all hard to figure
out.
Mr. Bush is obviously reading a script
— just look what happens when he tries to improvise.
Sidebar:
The first time I visited the New York Times site, I tried to
sign up, but "bartcop" was already taken.
I can never remember how I signed up, so I tried signing up as
"nywhoretimes" but it was taken, too.
ha ha
They deserve every bit of that.
I'm so old, I remember when the NYW Times was respected.
From: Margaret Shemo
Subject: Aaron Sorkin's Arrest
"West Wing mastermind"?
Don't overestimate Aaron Sorkin's intelligence.
How hard could it be to get arrested?
Even the Pekinese lapdog managed the hat trick.
The mushrooms might explain why Sorkin preferred
"President Bartlet" to President Clinton.
You'd have to be hallucinating to imagine that
a liberal, crusading reformer -- a blue-blood!
an intellectual from New England! -- would stand
a chance of being elected president.
American voters hadn't chosen anyone even remotely
like Jed Bartlett during Sorkin's lifetime, until last year.
But it seems to have escaped Sorkin's notice that
the loser of that election was sworn in, instead.
No doubt Sorkin is still trying to get over his
disappointment with Bill Clinton -- maybe he can handle
only one crisis at a time. I hope his arrest
won't prove too distracting.
This is from an article, "Inside The West Wing's New World," in the November 2000 George Magazine:
"Indeed, one West Wing staffer-speaking on condition
of anonymity-says,
"Aaron Sorkin really doesn't like Clinton. He's
very convincing on this subject."
The question is put to Sorkin: Does he despise Clinton? Sorkin laughs, then squirms in silence.
Finally, he protests weakly: "I like Bill
Clinton. I voted for Bill Clinton twice.
It would be silly for me to say anything more
than that.""
Click
Here to read the George Magazine article
Margaret, you could say Sorkin is misguided, but stupid?
Could a stupid person write that snappy dialog?
Boy, if Sorkin is a Clinton-hater, I'd sure like to debate him.
That'd be fun - debating someone who knew how to assemble sentences
as well as he does.
One thing, I don't get the Pekinese lapdog reference.
Could you shed some light on that?
Good to hear from you.
You should write more stuff more often.
A short but fun anti-Smirk page
http://www.georgewbushspeaks.com/gwbush_high_five.htm
Shocker!
Bill
Gates no longer world's richest geek
Bill Gates has been ousted as the world's richest man by Sam
Robson Walton,
chairman of Wal-Mart and eldest son of its founder.
Gates lost that title to Walton after the worldwide plunge in
the value of high-technology stocks
when Americans realized their president was chosen by
a crooked judge, not the vote of the people.
Poor Billy Gates is down to his last $54 billion, while Walton is now worth $65.4 billion.
...and speaking of de-throning the champ,
We have a new heavyweight champion of the world - Hasim Rahman.
Hasim Rahman connects with a left to the head
of then champion Lennox Lewis during
their title fight in South Africa last night.
Rahman, 28, took the WBC, IBF and IBO belts
off the 35-year-old British champion in the
fifth round when he knocked Lewis out.
Bush
antagonizes America's allies
Aggravated Allies Waiting for U.S. to Change Its Tunes
Contradictions, Reversals Have Irked Europeans and Asians
Excerpt:
"The Bush administration has not been warmly
received by European allies.
There is a pretty strong sense of disquiet
so far," said Robert Kagan,
a former senior State Department official
living in Brussels.
Maureen Dowd
Her last two columns have been so incredibly bland and boring
they weren't even ridiculable 8 (homage to W&S)
Maureen, can't you make up some more lies about the "thieving"
Clintons?
Or what about fabricating another Hillary "bridal registry" croc
of shit?
Anything is better than "too bland and boring" to ridicule.
...slut,
Check out Wolf's great work at http://hometown.aol.com/wgrulkey/Eddycartoonpage1.html
The Bob and Britney Challenge
Let's Beat up Jane Fonda
This is a wildly flammable story on Jane Jonda.
It's an e-mail that's spreading like a Clinton Body Count lie.
As a friend of our fighting boys, I think they have a right to
believe whatever they want about Jane Fonda,
but let's not lose our heads over false information spread by
pro-Smirk nutcases.
Quotes
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous
than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Quotes
"Since taking office, the President has
treated the big polluters to an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of
environmental giveaways. When
it comes to the public's health and the environment, President Bush
and the Republicans are willing
to let the big polluters have their way.''
-- David Bonior, showing a half-ounce of fight
Does Dennis Miller read bartcop.com?
I'm going to tell you three shocking things I saw on on Dennis Miller Friday night.
1. He did not call Bill Clinton "a worthless fuck" last night.
Not even once, I swear to Koresh.
2. He did some jokes about President Weak & Stupid, and I'm
not making this up.
Sure, they were extra-tame, and totally comic
in nature, not politically stinging in the least.
This is the big one - brace yourselves
- are you ready?
Are you sure you're ready?
3. After he did his extra-tame anti-Smirk jokes, he did not
apologize.
Repeat - he did not apologize to Bush
for doing some extra-tame jokes about him last night.
I couldn't believe it either.
If you don't believe me, I have it on tape.
Montenegro Goes to Polls on Independence Issue
Yugoslavia - Montenegrans voted Sunday in an election
dominated by the question of whether
the small republic should seek independence from
Belgrade, scrapping the Yugoslav federation.
Polls forecast a victory of between seven and
18 percentage points for the pro-independence
ruling coalition led by President Milo Djukanovic
over a leftist opposition bloc dedicated to
preserving links with Yugoslavia's much bigger
republic of Serbia.
Well, how about that?
A country where the guy who got the most votes wins?
I wish I lived in a country like that.
That'd be cool to live in a country where your votes actually meant
something.
It was about 4:30 on saturday when I noticed I only had a half-inch
of God's sunshine.
Yes, the Miracle of Canaan hand-blown was in its December.
I shot off to the local spirits store.
The spirits store just got in a new batch of Chinaco Anejo.
I purchased a bottle, $38 and change, along with a couple of
Beringers for the boss.
When I got home, I got out two shotglasses.
One really, really nice one, with gold-plated rim from
the Monte Carlo in Las Vegas,
and a lesser, gold-free shotglass from Grand Teton National Park.
In the Teton glass, I put the last ounce of my trusty Chinaco
Anejo.
In the gold-plated Monte Carlo glass, was the new batch of Chinaco
Anejo.
I had to taste-test them, side-by-side.
I had this one final shot of batch L-4344258825939.
This was premium, luxury Chinaco Anejo.
I've been sipping on this fountain of youth for 20 days.
It was excellent.
It tasted like God was happy.
So after I poured the last of it in the lesser shotglass,
I cut open the new bottle of Chinaco Anejo
batch L-434445AA29999
Sidebar:
I'm in the car business.
These batch numbers are like VIN numbers.
(vehicle identification numbers)
When the VIN to your car is 1FG56D78HU33NB936521,
that's all code for a black
Ford Taurus V-8 coupe with a spoiler and
a fukthecops badboy package under the hood.
These Chinaco numbers mean something.
The first bottle's tracking number didn't
even have letters.
Today's bottle has an AA in the middle.
That means something.
I then prepared to side-by-side taste test these two luxury liquids.
The first sip was of the old stuff, to get a baseline.
The second sip was the new batch - virgin territory.
First thing, I knew the second sip was better, but I didn't know
why.
I don't know how to write descriptions of the sensations hitting
my tastebuds.
I just knew this new batch was something different and better.
By the time I'd finished both shots, (and almost 90 minutes had
gone by) it hit me:
Wildflowers.
Wildflowers in the tequila.
Wildflowers in the Chinaco Anejo.
It tasted the same way wildflowers smell.
Chinaco Anejo tastes like kissing Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Hell, I've never tasted wildflowers.
I don't walk in the park and pick stuff up and eat it.
But this tasted like the way wildflowers smell.
It was f-ing beautiful, is what it was.
You know, I've been on this pure luxury tequila jag for almost
two years, and I've always
talked about the wildflowers they said were in Chinaco
Anejo, but I never could taste them.
This new batch has a wildflowers tint to it, and it's the best
tasting tequila I've ever had.
Oh, it tastes really good.
Koresh as my witness.
As I was telling Christian the other day - I'm old.
I've lived a lot of years and tried a lot of things,
and then something new like Chinaco Anejo comes
along, and shakes up my comfortable world.
I told her, there's no steak in the world that makes you say,
"Damn," on the eighth bite.
There's no seafood or Emerill meal or pasta that makes you say,
"Damn!" on your tenth bite,
but Chinaco Anejo after two years and dozens
of shots, makes me speak out loud.
This new batch has a wildflowers tinge, and I can't stand
how good it is.
A shot of Chinaco Anejo to the guys that distill, fabricate, invent and concoct this miracle.
This new Chinaco Anejo is a little different but it's also better.
Remember when I said on that last trip to meet Scary Perry, that
seafood restaurant
had the sweetest-tasting Chinaco I'd ever had?
Well, I've had fruitier, and with Scary I've had sweeter,
but now I've had wildflowers.
Damn, this is nice.
It's Chinaco Anejo Plus
It's really nice.
Bush humiliated the country in China crisis
April 22, 2001 1:40 am
Attribution
I read with great interest your laughable editorial
stating that Bush demonstrated deft diplomatic skills
in resolving the hostage crisis with the communist
Chinese ["Peking crow," April 12].
If squinting and smirking while reading comments
written on cards by Karl Rove can be called "skills,"
I guess our standards have been lowered, even
for a weak and foolish president.
Let's just review: After stating he would never
apologize, Mr. Bush had the secretary of state back down
and express regret at the loss of life. A few
days later, we said we were sorry for the loss of life.
Then we were forced to put on a pink tutu
and say we were very, very sorry for the loss of the
Chinese pilot, for entering Chinese airspace
and landing at the Chinese airfield.
That must be the new meaning of the term "deft
diplomacy."
If this national humiliation had occurred under
President Bill Clinton, he would have been excoriated
in the press because he never served in the military
or because of his moral failings. But somehow when
Mr. Bush caves in, he is seen as a "statesman"
with no mention of his moral failings which include public
drunkenness, at least three arrests, and lying
under oath in a civil deposition--plus the fact that he was
AWOL for nearly two years during wartime.
This hypocrisy makes me wonder how President Bill
Clinton would have handled the same situation.
My guess is he would have used his considerable
personal charm, political acumen, and great negotiating
skills to first unify the community of nations
to support us, then actively engage the Chinese.
Why didn't Mr. Bush do the same thing? Because
he does not have the ability.
He has angered most of our allies, so they are
not going to help. (Quick, name one ally who publicly
took our side during the crisis.) He cannot conceptualize
or think on his feet and for God's sake,
he couldn't possibly have engaged the Chinese
in negotiations.
So instead, we were forced to endure this water
torture while our service people were held hostage
and our $80 million plane was stripped to the
airframe of intelligence-gathering equipment.
But, on second thought, Mr. Bush looks pretty good in a pink tutu.
John DePaola
Spotsylvania
From: dschiff1@tampabay.rr.com
Subject: Photo Opt!
First off, GREAT SITE!
Now to the tricky part: there was a picture a
while back showing the mail-in protesters
ol' Weak and Stupid's people sent down to protest
the hand count in Florida, the picture was of
the group outside the office door where the count
was being conducted and the protesters were
numbered with names associated with the numbers
identifying each as a Republican operative.
I really, really need a copy of that photo along
with the names for a well organized protest of my own.
If you can help it would be much appreciated,
even a link to where I might find the photo would help
but it must have the numbers and names.
Thanks
Don
Don, no problemo.
That was from Volume 351 - Never Steal Anything
Small
Who was that angry mob that shut down the recount in Miami?
1. Tom Pyle, policy analyst, office of House Majority Whip Tom
DeLay (R-Tex.).
2. Garry Malphrus, majority chief counsel and staff director,
House Judiciary subcommittee on criminal justice.
3. Rory Cooper, political division staff member at the National
Republican Congressional Committee.
4. Kevin Smith, former House Republican conference analyst and
more recently of Voter.com.
5. Steven Brophy, former aide to Sen. Fred D. Thompson (R-Tenn.),
now working at the consulting firm KPMG.
6. Matt Schlapp, former chief of staff for Rep. Todd Tiahrt
(R-Kan.), now on the Bush campaign staff in Austin.
7. Roger Morse, aide to Rep. Van Hilleary (R-Tenn.).
8. Duane Gibson, aide to Chairman Don Young (R-Alaska) of the
House Resources Committee.
9. Chuck Royal, legislative assistant to Rep. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.).
10. Layna McConkey, former legislative assistant to former Rep. Jim
Ross Lightfoot (R-Iowa),
now at Steelman Health Strategies.
...and these sons of bitches want to lecture us on the rule of law?
And where were the whore networks?
Why didn't they do their job and identify the criminals?
The Fascist GOP made this out to be some kind of citizen's rebellion,
when all the time it was goons from the Rent-a-Nazi corporation.
And where was the whore press?
Bending over for Smirk, just like they've done for almost two years.
Fingering Freddy
Movie Review by Roger
Ebert
This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel.
This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel.
This movie isn't below the bottom of the
barrel.
This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in
the same sentence with barrels.
The day may come when "Freddy Got Fingered" is
seen as a milestone of neo-surrealism.
The day may never come when it is seen as funny.
The film is a vomitorium consisting of 93 minutes
of Tom Green doing things that a geek in a
carnival sideshow would turn down. Six minutes
into the film, his character wags a horse penis.
This is, we discover, a framing device--to be
matched by a scene late in the film where he
sprays his father with elephant semen, straight
from the source.
One other thing - the review of this movie in USA Today says,
Why does Green say nearly every line in the movie
twice?
Because if he didn't, the movie would be barely
45 minutes long.
As the film wraps up, Green shows a Kreskin-class
ability to connect
with the thoughts of the viewers who haven't
already escaped.
In a crowd scene, someone carries a sign that
reads,
"When the (expletive) is this movie going to
end?"
You watch.
This dog of a movie will make Green rich and
he'll have a whole string
of these movies that'll make Jim Carrey seem
like the butler in Arthur.
One more try on that anti-Smirk club link.
This one works, trust me.
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/ihatebushfanclub
"No, Dumbass, that straw is not 'defective.'
You have to put one end of the
straw in the shake or you won't get any."
Here's a URL for the official White House photographer, Robert McNeely.
Lots of historic Clinton pictures here.
http://www.kodak.com/US/en/corp/magazine/photography/robertMcNeely/chief.shtml
Spade Attacker Gets Probation
A former assistant to actor David Spade pleaded
guilty on Thursday to attacking him
with a stun gun and was ordered to serve five
years probation and stay away from Spade.
Skippy Malloy, Spade's 30-year-old friend and
longtime personal assistant, was ordered
to undergo counseling and perform 480 hours of
community service.
Spade said Malloy was "obviously mentally troubled''
and said he hoped Malloy would get help.
Yeah, nothing like probation and community service to straighten a guy out.
I was surfing a live Zeppelin tape trader's page, when I read,
"I will not be trading again until December,
2002,
due to a forced 18 month government
sponsored vacation."
Then there was this link
I think everyone should visit NORML (and contribute)
Y'know, if the Republicans believed any of that crap about "individual
freedoms,"
they would support NORML as a matter of conscience.
Truth is, they're lying like the theives they are when they say
they applaud individual freedom.
Oh, sure, they looooooooove the Cancer lobby, because nicotine
only kills 400,000 a year,
whereas, to my knowledge, nobody is history has ever died
from smoking pot.
But the religio-wackos and the no-fun-allowed Republicans won't
hear of common sense
when it comes to somebody smoking a weed inside their own home
on their own land.
It's just like the "less government" liars to beg for bigger
government when it comes to pot.
They don't want smaller government.
They don't want lower taxes.
They want to control our lives with their tsunami of illogic
and superstition..
From: Tamara Baker
Subject: How to retaliate for the Reagan Name-Changing Spree
In memory of Joey Ramone, whose greatest work
was a song entitled "Bonzo Goes to Bitburg",
I suggest that we all get nice black laundry
markers and whereever we see something named
for the Old Senile Mass Murderer, we RENAME it,
on the spot, for Joey Ramone.
The "Ronald Reagan National Airport" would become
the Joey Ramone National Airport.
The "Ronald Reagan Library" would become the
Joey Ramone Library.
The "Ronald Reagan Highway" would become the
Joey Ramone Highway.
You know what to do.
ha ha
Armey, Barr and DeLay to Investigate
Clinton
by John Hardin
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the fumble,
Dude.
