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Quotes
"I say to O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Hedgecock, Hannity,
and all others like them
haranguing for battle to put up or
shut up. You guys had your chance to dress
in a green suit and pick up a rifle
for your country, and you passed on it.
You chose to serve yourselves. Today
you talk tough while reaping the wealth
that this nation can give, and you
never sacrificed a thing for this country,
just for yourselves. In my opinion,
you are no different than the man on the
Titanic who put on a dress and climbed
aboard a lifeboat."
--Charles Henderson, a retired Marine
Corps warrant officer
Excerpt:
Dick Cheney has worked to profit from Iraqi
oilfields "as rapidly as possible"
since at least 1995. In fact, one
of the first deals he cut at Halliburton aimed
to get first and controlling access to
burning oil fields!
Cheney's deal helped assure Halliburton
the first position in Iraqi oil fields
after a war: fighting the fires.
Once in place, Halliburton would be positioned
to service the ruined wells, no matter
who wound up owning the oil. Firefighting
services gave Halliburton unique leverage
in profiting from flaming Iraqi oil fields.
Bush & Cheney sure are "lucky" that 9-11 happened.
Excerpt:
Rumsfeld’s position at ABB could prove
embarrassing for the Bush administration since
while he was a director he was also active
on issues of weapons proliferation.
Pentagon spokeswoman Victoria Clark told
“Newsweek” that “Rumsfeld does not
recall it being brought before the board
at any time”.
Quotes
"We knew something was going on. I mean,
who inherits $50,000,000
and then calls FOX and says,
'Can you find me a girlfriend?' "
-- Sarah, who
'Joe Millionaire" didn't pick
I
Was Almost a Stooge For National Plutocrat Radio
by Barry Crimmins
Excerpt:
Two years into the court-appointed Bush
administration's destruction of our way of life and the
first call I received from NPR was a request
to belittle Democrats. Ostensibly they wanted me
to make fun of the fact that the field
of candidates had grown very quickly in recent weeks.
That's right; NPR was soliciting me to
satirize democracy for showing signs of vibrancy. And so
this young producer tried to steer me that
way. She started by mentioning the size of the Democratic
field and then asked, "Do you think any
of them has the stature to take on George W. Bush?"
I said, "My dog Lloyd has the stature to
take on Bush."
But then I allowed, "Of course, I raised
him myself."
ha ha
..
Bush
Cited Report That Doesn't Exist
Never-elected is caught lying again but we forgive
him
because God picked him to ruin the Clinron Miracle
Excerpt:
Bush and Ari Fleischer went out of their
way Thursday to cite a new survey
by "Blue-Chip economists" that the economy
would grow 3.3 percent this year
if the president's tax cut proposal becomes
law
That was news to the editor who assembles
the economic forecast.
"I don't know what he was citing," said
Randell E. Moore, editor of
the monthly Blue Chip Economic Forecast.
Marty's
E! page
If it's Tuesday, it's Michael Dare!
Hollywood prepares for the Oscars
Ravi Shankar is Norah Jones' dad
ABC has sold all the commercials in the Oscars already!
'Earworms'
CBS won February sweeps with scripts not reality
And, 'The Day the Protest Music Died'
click
Quotes
''On this Iraq deal, here's what happened:
We lost our car keys in the garage
but we're looking for them in the living
room because the light is better there."
-- Bill Maher, explaining why we're attacking Iraq
when it was Al Qaeda and the Saudis
who attacked us.
Grammy pre-show
Before the show, Joan Rivers asked Sheryl Crow who she was wearing.
I swear, for some reason, Sheryl said she was wearing "a
vintage Koresh."
She also said she'd gotten phone calls warning her not
to wear any anti-war shirts.
You see, CBS is owned by the super-rich Republicans who own Viacom.
They want this war to happen so Bush will be a phoney-baloney
war hero, get elected
for the first time and that way the bastards at Viacom can get
another huegegege tax cut,
so they threatened the performers with their mics being turned
off in mid-sentence if they
dared to say anything that Mr Rove might not like.
This
is the America we're all forced to live in,
since Scalia and his thugs stole our right to vote.
A shot of Cuervo Gold to the CBS war Nazi's and our crooked Supreme Court
Bart,
this ain't much but I hope it helps.
I consult you daily when defending our
country
against my old college buddies turned reich
wing nuts.
Keep hammering like that carpenter of 2000
years ago.
Chuck from the northside of Chicago.
Chuck, thanks for that.
My old college friends, even the ones that shot hard drugs,
are all Bush backers these days. What the hell happened?
Weekend Sports
Mike Tyson kicked some cheese-eating surrender monkey's ass Saturday
night.
It only took him 49 seconds.
Swear to Koresh, if I was half a fighter, I could last an entire
round.
Haven't these palookas ever heard of the rope-a-dope?
Didn't they see Buster kick this phoney's ass 11 years ago?
Tyson was paid $20M for this fight, no matter what you hear -
it was $20M.
He got a check for $5M Saturday, but by winning he's guaranteed
another shot
at Lennon Lewis and for that he'll be paid $20M, even if he
dives in the first minute
...and Mister Perfect lost again, which means it was a great weekend!.
The
BartCop Hex stays on your ass, Tiger
Quotes
"The thing is I'm not going to flaunt what
I have.
I refuse to show off my boobs, my belly
or my booty.
I don't want to walk around in clothes
like Britney wears
with pants that don't cover my ass."
--
Avril Lavigne, who sells music instead of tits
There's lots of good stuff at http://mahabarbara.tripod.com/themahablog
Here's something I saw there:
US considered 'suicide jet missions'
Excerpt:
US Air Force commanders considered crashing
fighter jets into hijacked planes on 9-11
because of a lack of armed planes.
In the immediate aftermath of the terror attacks
US fighter planes took to the skies to
defend America from any further attacks.
At the time of the attacks the US had just
four fighter pilots on alert covering
the north eastern United States.
Pilots "Duff" and "Nasty" recalled they were
only minutes away when the second plane
hit the towers. Pilot Duff said:
"For a long time I wondered what would have
happened if we had been scrambled in time."
Yeah, we might've saved the Constitution if those jets weren't
handcuffed.
Remember, I can hear the alarm, wake up, shower and get dressed
and
drive to my old job is less time than it takes the Air Force
to scramble jets
when New York and DC are being bombed?
The B.F.E.E. is handjobbing America into war and bankruptcy.
Yahoo Headline
Oil
prices surge toward two-year highs
The gouging continues.
They'll claim they're just passing on higher costs, but they
are lying.
Their quarterly reports will say they're making lots more money
than they were when we had the right to have our votes counted.
since 9/11, erudite NYU prof-propaganda
More than attacking our great leader and
his well-documented dyslexia, Miller reveals the gross
inadequacies of an American media whose
talking heads gladly serve up Bush's gaffes for ratings
and revenues while ditching the kind of
journalism on which democracy depends.
The dates for the next perfs are 3/2, 3/9,
3/23, 3/30. All at the Cherry Lane, 38 Commerce St., NY,
call for reservations: 212-989-2159.
3/2 is free, the other shows are $20 per ticket.
"a provocative, funny, and deeply disturbing
one-man show"
- Village Voice Editor and publisher, 2/13/03
From: George Hennum
Subject: Morons
You dumb asses should spend some time actually
reading the Bill of Rights
before you declare it dead. You dorks don't
even know the difference
between Title 9 (hellllooo NOT an amendment)
and the 9th amendment.
George, did you consider the possibility that it was a joke?
I admit to having an IQ of 64, but even I'm not stupid enough
to think
the framers of the Constitution wanted women's basketball.
One would have to be George Bush-stupid to screw that up.
Speaking of being George Bush-stupid, remember when the governor
said
"Those Democrats think Social Security is
some kind of federal program."
Now that is stupid.
Notes from beyond the pale
Quotes
"We got to kill that mother-effer Saddam. Slit
his throat.
Kill him and the guy in North Korea.
Are some women and children going to
die?
Yeah. But doing it is the right thing."
--Kid Rock, who seems to be
running our State Department
Bart
When I see what Rush has accomplished just
by lies and distortions, think what a
well-informed, intelligent and witty dude
with a great sense of humor could do with the truth!
Maybe you won't change the world, but I'm
hoping that you just might open some eyes.
Considering what's at stake, it's a bargain
at any price.
I love the truth, I know it's a treasonous,
traitorous thought, but I just can't help myself.
Add a hammer, and you never know what might
happen!
migs
Dude, thanks for the donation to help fund BartCop Radio.
As you might've gathered by yesterday's issue, I'm
jobless
We are much closer now to BartCop Radio.
We're ready to do the BartCop thing full-time.
Woo Hoo!
No more part-time hammer in a full-time war!
Clarification:
I didn't have enough money to quit this job, but we're gaining
subscribers at a rate
that gives me confidence that the chasm can eventually be bridged,
if that's a phrase.
Maybe we should target April 15th as a starting date.
Isn't this exciting?
Wish me luck, and consider joining the team!
Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all
new subscriptions.
Help make BartCop Radio an April
thing,
rather than a May-June
thing.
Is bartcop.com worth $5
a month?
Thanks to Bruce Yurgil
They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
The Internet Resistance is all we have.
Click Here to support BartCop Radio
Dueling Quotes
"No one contacted any artist to talk about
content."
--Grammy President Neil Portnow
"I was going to do something and then the Grammy
committee
called up my manager... they said they
wanted to keep it all neutral."
--Sheryl Crow, backstage at the Grammys
I believe Sheryl.
War
Party Stumbles
Their propaganda campaign is pathetic
Excerpt:
While war may be inevitable – at least,
that's what we're supposed to believe
– the War Party's propaganda campaign is
stupefyingly unconvincing. What was
billed as a "Support the Troops" rally
at the Alamo was held the other day, where
"about 1,000" participants waved signs
proclaiming "God Supports President Bush."
This echoes the President's own remarks,
made the same day, in which he declared
it was the will of "the Almighty" to "liberate
the oppressed people of Iraq." Having
abandoned the Constitution, and the foreign
policy advice of the Founding Fathers,
the President has reverted back to an earlier
doctrine: the divine right of kings.
Subject: Kucinich's abortion stance
My understanding is that as the Rep. from
a Polish Catholic CD in Cleveland,
Kucinich always felt obligated to vote
anti-choice.
Running nationwide freed him from that constraint.
Mark Gisleson
Mark, good point - thanks for that.
The
GOP Home Shopping Network
Why Bush wants you to buy duct tape
Excerpt:
46 percent of the duct tape sold in this
country is manufactured by a company in Avon, Ohio.
And the founder of that company, that would
be Jack Kahl, gave how much to the GOP
in the 2000 election cycle? Would that
be more than $100,000?
Bart,
I've been unemployed for 13 months now
and i always promised myself as soon
as i got a job, I'd send you some money.
I haven't gotten a job yet, but when I heard
you're out of one too, what the hell, I
might as well pay you to swing that hammer
a little harder than some whore corporation
for an overpriced frappucino.
Let's show those jesus-raping oil-plundering
warmongering drunks
what a liberal media REALLY looks like!
swing away
imon
Quotes
"Experts are saying that the U.S. will invade
Iraq by mid-March.
When asked why, Bush said this was
all part of his big plan to
surprise the Iraqis while they are
drunk on Saint Patty’s Day."
--Conan
Raze
the Church/State Wall?
by Jonathan Turley
Excerpt:
Under the new Bush guidelines, a fundamentalist
religion with white supremacist or radical
Islamic tenets could demand funding for
new buildings. Moreover, under the Bush
pro-discrimination policy, the government
will openly support the refusal to hire Jews
-- or other people deemed to be nonbelievers
-- for publicly funded positions.
Bush couldn't do this if the Democrats did their jobs.
Be sure and check out the latest assault on the vulgar Pigboy.
Click Here to see what Take Back the Media did to him (chortle-chortle)
Quotes
"A proposed bill would make all New York City
hotels have free condoms in the rooms.
How dumb am I? All of these years and
I’ve been using the free shower cap."
--Dave
The Grammy show Bart saw
Quotes
“That was a stupid and dismissive remark (about
the protests) and the point is that he
is bringing along a world coalition
that he calls a coalition of the willing when it's really
a coalition of the bullied and the
bribed. The only way he's getting countries to go along
with this is coming across with huge
sums of money and asking leaders to overlook what
is basically democratic expression
in these countries.”
--Eleanor Clift on the McLaughlin
Group
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Read the Previous Issue
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Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley Manson of the group Garbage
