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Tuesday Sept 23, 2008
Vol 2214 - Smug
bitchery
robertchavez.com
Quotes
"Did Gunsmoke win anything?"
-- McCain, asking about the Emmys
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The Fleecing
of America
Link
Excerpt:
This is an American mess forged by the American
genius for new-fangled financial instruments
in an era where the mantra has been that government
is dumb and the markets are smart and
risk is non-existent. The responsibility for
undoing the debacle is chiefly American, too.
But toxic mortgage-backed securities were pedaled
by plenty of foreign banks. And the decision
to pour $85 billion of U.S. taxpayers' money
into the rescue of AIG followed appeals from foreign
finance ministers to Henry Paulson, the Treasury
secretary, to save a global company.
Barney Frank told me: "Paulson said he was getting
calls from finance ministers all around the world
saying, 'You have to save A.I.G.' Well,
they should have been asked to contribute to the pot."
Frank has a point. (He should coach Barack Obama
on how to put economics in plain language.)
Frank said, "I don't think the European Central
Bank should be free to spend the Federal Reserve's
money and not put any in."
Yes, these are all signs that Bush/Cheney really are leaving.
They've finally emptied all the money out of America.
We're getting ready to leave Iraq for the same reason.
Those wells must be sputtering - the oil is all gone now.
And with oil skyrocketing to $200 a barrel right after the election,
they can
just sit back and relax and sell the oil they've been stealing since
the invasion.
If only someone had pointed out what they were doing sooner...
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Subject: How dumb do you
have to be at this point?
All of a sudden, people are noticing that
Obama just might be black.
What's the world coming to?
Des
Obama's biggest problem seems to be he can't relate to the super-stupid.
Another problem he has is spending too much time on defense.
Every day, McCain hurls some senseless charge at Obama and then
the press goes wild
and every question is about the phony allegations and Obama can't
get his feet under him.
If Obama would get going on OFFENSE it might force McCain to react
to him.
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http://polarbearsos.com/
The Language
of Race
Link
Excerpt:
In a replay of elections past, the G.O.P. will
try to leverage racial ghosts and fears
without getting its hands visibly dirty. The
Democrats try to parry in customary ways.
Mr. Obama seems to understand that he is always
an utterance away from a statement
- or a phrase - that could transform him in a
campaign ad from the affable, rational and
racially ambiguous candidate into the archetypical
angry black man who scares off the
white vote. His caution is evident from the way
he sifts and searches the language as
he speaks, stepping around words that might push
him into the danger zone.
These maneuvers are often painful to watch. The
troubling part is that they are necessary.
How racist is America?
We find out six weeks from tonight.
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Subject: advice for Obama
Things Obama Should Say
"I welcome Senator McCain's conversion to the
principle of strict regulation of the financial markets,
after so many years being in the hind pocket
of those who brought us this mess. But honestly, if he
wanted to run as a Democrat, he should
have challenged me in the primary."
http://jeffcrook.blogspot.com
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Quotes
"We need to come to the defense of Southeast
Alaska when proposals
are on the table like the bridge and
not allow spinmeisters to turn this
project or any other into something
that's so negative,"
-- Sarah Palin, 2006, trying
hard to build that Bridge to Nowehere, Link
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President
Bartlet's Advice for Obama
Ol' Jed sounds a little
lot like Bartcop
Link
Excerpt:
Call them liars, because that's what they are.
Sarah Palin didn't say "thanks but no thanks" to the
Bridge to Nowhere. She just said "Thanks." You
were raised by a single mother on food stamps
- where does a guy with eight houses who was
legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist?
And by the way, if you do nothing else, take
that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above
average. I'd ask them what their problem is with
excellence. While you're at it, I want the word "patriot" back.
McCain can say that the transcendent issue of
our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can
choose a running mate who doesn't know the Bush
doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can't do
both at the same time and call it patriotic.
They have to lie - the truth isn't their friend right now.
Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they've
earned it.
I think Obama is too nice a guy to fight the way Jed (and me and most
of you) want him to fight.
Obama wants to win on Harvard debate points and getting in the trenches
just isn't his style.
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Democrats
- Use Your Heads
The GOP is setting their traps right now
Link
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Quotes
"Have you seen those pictures of Sarah Palin?
Posing with some moose that she killed?
Posing with a bloody carcass and you
know
Michael Vick is asking, 'Why am I in
jail? '
White lady want to kill a moose, that's
OK.
Black man want to kill a dog - that's
a crime!"
-- Chris Rock, new stand-up on HBO Saturday,
Maybe newer readers don't know this story... (It's in the back
issues)
Years ago I casually mentioned that Chris Rock was
The King, and I got an e-mail from
Jennifer Pryor that (probably) said, "Well,
my husband is pretty funny, don't you think?"
Jesus, an e-mail from The
House of Pryor?
Click
for Jennifer's Animal Charities
I wrote back and stammered a lot (Not easy in an e-mail) and tried to
explain that
I meant of the current, touring young bucks, the kids, I thought
Chris Rock was the best.
Now in September of 2008, Chris Rock puts his title on the line again
Saturday night.
After Saturday, will he still wear the crown of 'Funniest
Man in America?'
Or would a less-than performance make him vulnerable to and up-and coming
comic?
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Subject: Welfare for the rich
America is now a place where the working poor
pay welfare to the rich. What a country!
The working class bailing out the investor class
and the investor class pays a far lower tax rate
(capital gains) than working class people who
pay payroll taxes. So when the rich were making
money they got to keep it but when they
start losing money the working class people have to give
700 billion in welfare to the stock market. The
investors want the government to stay out of it when
it come to regulation, but when the housing pyramid
falls apart it falls on the taxpayer to bail them out.
If we are going to be stuck paying their bill
shouldn't we at least repeal the capital gains tax cuts
and the tax cuts for the rich to pay off this
new debt? 700 billion dollars is a lot of debt.
That's 2800 more bridges to nowhere on top of
a 40,000 bridges to nowhere national debt.
I think that the people who can't remember how
many houses they own should pay off this debt
rather than putting it on those of us who don't
own a home.
Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA
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Long-sleeved mens and womens
$33.59
Mens and women's shirts, v-necks,
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Also available this way:
Buy a shirt if you think "Obama's got this."
Subject: Top Ten Ways hurricane
season is like Christmas
Link,
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by my good friend Marty Beckerman
"Dumbocracy is a thoughtful book with great shock
value geared to awaken,
entertain and enlighten Marty's generation about
the freedoms embedded in
our Bill of Rights. Beyond the spoofing, it is
passionate, scholarly, and
delivers the message that young people need to
hear."
-- Former U.S. Senator Mike Gravel
Click
to Order
Subject: vulgar Pigboy quotes
Bart, I heard Pigboy say in his hate radio show:
"We've gone beyond assigning blame here."
The lying Pigboy discussing the mess on Wall
Street mere moments before blaming Jimmy Carter,
Bill Clinton, Christopher Dodd, Janet Reno, Jamie
Gorelick, Barack Obama, Barney Frank,
Chuck Schumer and the "entire Democratic party."
I'm happy for Rush that he has been able to "get
beyond" blaming anybody for the problem.
Mac
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Subject: Re: Krauthammer
Hey Bart,
Please remind your readers that newspaper 'columnist'
Charles Krauthammer is nothing more
than an AIPAC / PNAC mole, responsible for spreading
the lies and propaganda that keep
the clueless masses so ignorant.
Just like Wolf Blitzer, Ted Koppel, Tom Brokaw,
Peter Jennings, John Gibson, et al.
Every one of these turds is on the AIPAC payroll.
If you really wanna get informed, you need to
remove television completely from your life.
So, less Krauthammer - more BartHammer!
Keep it up, fella.....
Rich
EvolveFISH.com
/ TheLiberalStore.com
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rejectmccain.com
Subject: Rope-a-dope is a bad
analogy
Bart,
Rope-a-dope is used against a difficult, courageous
opponent.
Against an embarrassingly weak patsy, you pound
him out in the first round.
McCain is the most pathetic presidential candidate
in history, Bush included.
Steve
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We have reached $6,000
We're over
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Thanks to
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Sorry this is taking so long,
but if one rich democrat would send $4,000
we'd be done with fundraising for the year.
Help us
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Anything will help $5,
$10 $25 or more!
You can select a monthly plan to provide recurring support.
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Quotes
"Throughout his political career, Obama has
gotten more than $125,000 in campaign contributions
from employees and political action
committees of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, second only to
Chris Dodd, the Senate Banking Committee
chairman..."
-- Kevin Hassett, GOP liar and whore, Link
I heard this on CNN, and they said it was true BUT,
did you know Obama has raised $390 million dollars?
$125,000 is 1/8 of one million dollars, so if those employees had given
Obama 32 times more money, it would've been 1 percent of his
total so
Obama's not exactly a puppet for the employees of Freddie and
Fannie..
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Subject: re: debate rules change
As far as I'm concerned, every debate in this
country since the Bush-Gore debates has been a joke.
Lincoln-Douglas format is good enough for high
school kids, why not for the potential VP?
James
I think the last real debate was 1976, when that
idiot Jerry Ford freed Poland from the
influence of the Russians. After he said that,
Carter looked him in the eye and said,
"Dude, swear to Christ you just said Poland
was not under Russian influence.
Do you stand by that handjob of a characterization?"
And Ford said he did, and he was stuck with his
idiotic comment forever..
From that point on, the only purpose of a debate
is to see who'll screw up,
so both sides agree to stand there for an hour
and repeat the same boilerplate lines
from the same boilerplate speeches they've been
giving for months and months.
Anyone who's waiting for the debates (that start
Friday) is crazy because they
never say anything new in a debate. They just
regurgitate the same, tired cliches.
Friday, if Obama tells that same story about being related to Cheney
I'm shooting my TV,
so if there's no page Monday, that means I couldn't afford the bail
- so help me out.
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Subject: Money is debt
Hi Bart,
With the banking firms in the tank and Americans
ignorant of the mechanisms involved,
I thought you may be interested in the scam and
how it works.
I know you are a busy man, and this
is 47 minutes long, but this needs to be seen by every American.
Maybe if more knew about the scam we would see
through the smoke and mirrors.
Julian
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Sarah Quaylin
Link
Excerpt:
Ever since McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running
mate, I've gotten confused about all the reasons I'm
supposed to dislike Obama. The previous reasons
were his lack of experience, his empty rhetoric, his flip-flopping,
and his 'celebrity.' But Palin has made each
one of those critiques moot. The 'celebrity' attack on Obama
has a particularly Dada quality right now as
starstruck Republicans bask in the charisma of their adorable veep.
(Coldest state, hottest governor, read signs
at her rallies.) With her hunky husband, touching family life and
plucky personal story, she is the candidate of
the People. And by People, I mean People magazine.
"The main complaint against Palin has been her
lack of experience. That's fortunate for her, since 'experience'
-- especially measured in a linear way -- fails
to capture exactly what Palin lacks. Yes, two years as governor
is less than you'd like, as is four years as
senator. The real problem, though, is that Palin has no record of
thinking about national or international policy."
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Quotes
"The spike in oil prices earlier this year
wasn't a
temporary market anomaly and the recent
retreat
in prices is just a misleading calm
before a calamitous
storm. We're headed toward $500-a-barrel
oil."
-- Matt Simmons, Link
I think Matt's been reading
bartcop.com
If Obama wins, oil prices will creep up.
If McCain wins, it's $200 per barrel by
Christmas.
If we can get Obama to explain this to
the people, maybe he
could convince them to vote themselves
a big energy raise...
By New Years, a tank of gas will either
be $50 or $125.
It's your choice, America.
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Subject: Bush & Cheney
Bart, why did Bush and Cheney cross the road??
To kill all the people there and steal their
OIL.
LOTHAR
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featuring
We
have tons of great 'toons on the Bart
Blog!
Quotes
"Watching Palin's horrendous first appearance
& then that atrocious convention speech,
judging whether she could be president is
so retarded that its absurdly legitimizing it just to raise it.
Forget it. How could more not point out the
obvious-- she was Nancy Allen in CARRIE,
the scheming vicious prom queen BITCH heightened
to a Wagnerian pitch!!! How could at
least HALF the "commentators" not mention
the obvious supreme smug BITCHERY???!!!"
-- Jim Steinman,
Link
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Subject: Palin needs to do a
real press conference
Is Sarah Palin ready to be president?
One job of being president or VP is the ability
to do a press conference and answer questions.
It's been almost a month since this unknown governor
has been on the Republican ticket
and she has yet to come out and take questions
from reporters. She might not like the
reporters and some questions might be unfair,
but life isn't always fair, especially when
you are in office.
So it's time Sarah Palin quit hiding behind John
McCain's skirt
and show us that she's tough enough to answer
reporter's questions.
Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.
I agree - if she can't answer questions she's not ready.
How dare McCain ask us to vote for an unqualified candidate.
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Subject: You should honor your
promise
Link
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it on The BartCop Forum | Comment
on it at the BartBlog
Bush and McCain say our fundamentals are strong.
Ken Lay said Enron's fundamentals were VERY strong,
shortly before it collapsed.
See a pattern here?
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Treehouse
Crossword Puzzle 17
Link
Today's Puzzle is Nursery Rhymes
Thanks to GK!
She works hard on these customized-for-you puzzles.
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Jimbo in Utah
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Why is Obama
so Gutless?
by Christopher Hitchens, so scream at him, not me
Link
Excerpt:
Last week really ought to have been the end of
the McCain campaign. With the (finanancial mess)
it was surely the moment for the supposedly reform
candidate to assume a commanding position.
And the Republican nominee virtually volunteered
to assist that outcome by making an idiot of himself...
And yet, none of this has translated into any
measurable advantage for the Democrat.
There are three possible reasons for such a huge
failure on Barack Obama's part. The first is that he
is too nice, too innocent, too honest, and too
decent to get down in the arena and trade bloody thrusts
with the right-wing enemy. (This is rapidly becoming
the story line that will achieve mythic status if he
actually loses in November.) The second is that
crisis sometimes make electors trust the establishment.
The third is that Obama does not represent "change"
because the Democrats are a status quo party.
I'm going with Reason One, because it's the easiest reason to correct.
IF
Obama loses in November, 100%
of the pundits will say it's because he didn't
fight.
IF
that happens, for the third time in a row we will have lost to a bumbling
fool because we didn't fight.
The last thing I want to read is the Top Ten Reasons Obama Lost because
there's only one reason.
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Saw it on rangeragainstwar.blogspot.com/
Subject: WTF is with this Wall
Street Bailout?
So once again Congress is eager to rush some numbskull
Bush scheme through without knowing what it it.
Why not give every American making under $50,000
a new Toyota Prius?
That would take care of the gas shortage.
Also what if anything will our European/Asian
allies do to help with
this world wide bailout? Smells fishy! Stinks
to high heaven!
Len, Augusta, GA
You have a good point about the Prius. And if we had the money Bush
stole/wasted
on Iraq, we could give every America health care AND we could give
every high school
student a free college education - but Bush knew he could profit more
from war.
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Subject: Your site
Link
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on it at the BartBlog
Marty's
Entertainment Page
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Seriously...
America is in deep shit.
No matter how and why we got here,
no matter who did the robbing and raping and
torturing and murdering,
no matter which majority political party wet
themselves with fear and let it all happen,
we are where we are and we have to find a way
to get our country out of this nightmare.
So...
Do we go with the old, quick-tempered politician
who was locked in a cage for 5 years?
Or do we go with the science and logic of
Barack Obama?
I watched Bill Clinton on Letterman last night
- almost made me cry.
We went from the smartest president ever to the
stupidest president ever - overnight.
We traded blow jobs for genocide - and the whore press says we should
like it this way.
Right wing radio says Democrats, Obama and liberals don't like Amerikkka.
Truth is, we liked it until it was stolen and turned into the nightmare
it's become.
I'm so old, I remember when Monica was a "serious" problem we had to
deal with.
Kids today, say someone born in 1995 - Fascist Amerikka is all they've
ever known.
I think we should punish the rat bastards who screwed up Clinton's Utopia.
Don't write,
the Clinton years weren't perfect, but they were perfection compared
to what we have today.
Christ, under Bush, it's like those violent and destructive Mexican
drug gangs have moved
into all our neighborhoods and every night they steal our gasoline
and throw rocks at our house.
I wish we had our old neighborhood back.
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Obama struggling
to win over Clinton voters
Link
Excerpt:
Obama's support from Hillary backers is stuck
where it was in June, a poll showed Tuesday,
a stunning lack of progress that is weakening
him with members of his party in the close race.
The Whore AP poll shows that while Obama has gained
ground among Clinton's supporters
- 69 percent view him favorably now - this has
yet to translate into more of their support.
In part, this is because their positive views
of McCain have improved. Those supporting McCain
have also edged up from 21 percent to 28 percent,
with the number of undecided staying constant.
Perhaps if he'd destroyed the Clintons with a
weapon besides race...?
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ha ha
Bartcop
- Food Critic
I like beef.
I like the taste of beef, I guess that makes
me a bad man, but when I saw
the commercials for Subway's new Philly Beef
Sandwiches, I had to have one.
It's billed as "a meat lovers dream."
The pictures made me wonder if I'd be able to finish an entire 6-incher
by myself
but I wanted to give it a try so I jumped in the Bartmobile and motored
to Subway.
First, I had to ask what comes on it because I didn't want to fall into
the Kerry trap.
Yes, if you remember alllll the way back to 2004, it's possible
that Kerry lost the
election because if you don't put Cheeze Wiz on a Philly Beef, it means
you're gay.
But the kid behind the counter assured me I could have whatever I wanted
on it,
so I went with Swiss because that's what the cheese in the picture
looked like.
So when this kid opens up a container of meat, I was like, "Where
the hell's the beef?"
Swear to Koresh, they put maybe 2 tablespoons of beef on my sandwich.
It has about
as much beef as a regular McDonald's burger - the kid's "cheeseburglar"
size.
The bread-to-beef ratio must've been ten-to-one, so I asked for double
meat.
Even with double meat, there was
hardly any beef at all on this sandwich.
No wonder Subway sandwiches only have 8 grams of fat - there's no meat
on them.
When you look at the picture, it seems like it might feed a family of
five
but in real life you're getting a bread sandwich and I think that's
a damn crime.
Subway should be charged with theft and deception.
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Worldwide
Bartcop
They read it in Caen, Basse-Normandie, France
They read it in Enschede, Overijssel, Netherlands
They read it in Karlsruhe, Ben-Wattenburg, Germany
They read it in Parsippany, New Jersey
They read it in Vaasa, Western Finland
Hey Bono - they need more 'puters in Africa.
Chad and Somalia are Bartcop-free!
Bartcop.com is read worldwide,
If you have stuff that'll ship, you
should be advertising on bartcop.com
Why sell to America when you can sell to the world?
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Iraq
pumped
3.5M
barrels daily before
Bush invaded
and then
they got their big Halliburton upgrades
Bush is stealing up to 6 million barrels of
oil per day.
Since oil sells for $125 or more per barrel,
Bush is stealing $750,000,000
every
day.
No wonder they were so eager to start
a war,
It's the biggest theft in Earth's history
but
our whore media is too busy to investigate.
4,157
brave men and women
have been sacrificed on the Altar of Oil.
All because of Bush's oil greed
Why are
we there?
Because
Iraq's oil wells have NO
METERS!
Where's all that oil money going?
Subject: Donation
Bart, your fair weather subscribers poissed me
off,
so I'm making up for them by sending you a check.
It's long overdue, but you've already heard all
the many reasons why.
Bless you and keep up the good work.
jojet
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BCR Show
#144
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144
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...
Shirley stars in FOX's Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles -
Note from Marty
at Bartcop Entertainment
Shirley is on Craig Ferguson (after Letterman) tomorrow night, 24 Sept.
What's
your
favorite Shirley picture?
(Send the picture, don't send a description of the picture.)
Got a Shirley picture we haven't run?
Send
it to us!
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