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Quote of the Day "Bono is a one-man state who fills his treasury    with the global currency of fame . . . the most    politically effective figure in the recent history    of popular culture."       -- New York Times Magazine,    Link

In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Don't push me too far  U2 in Concert in OK report  Don't push me too far  U2 in Concert in OK report  Don't push me too far  U2 in Concert in OK report  Don't push me too far  Marilyn Monroe Neurons  U2 - No Line on the Horizon

OK, so you know this isn't a regular issue.

It took a while to write the concert review and there's so much politics involved,
I felt that is would be counter-productive to bury it on some back page, so here it is.

But,

I don't want to spoil your concert experience Sunday Night at 11:30 Pacific when U2 will pack 
an expected 92,000 people in the Rose Bowl for (probably) the biggest concert in history.

If you want to be surprised Sunday night, don't scroll down because there's lots of pictures.
You can always read my take on the band and their tour Monday.

If you don't care about U2, then at least read the political sections because it's important.

I gotta tell you, they made me cry several times - in that good way.
If you read this report till the end, you might wipe away a few tears, too.
 

U2 concert review
Norman, Oklahoma, OU's Sooner Field October 18th, 2009

The stadium is a glorification of The Gaylord Family which is a klan of right-wing loons that make Jim Inhofe 
seem sane (not a compliment) so I refuse to usa that whore name for the venue. The Gaylords own 
The Daily Oklahoman which makes every other newspaper in America seem like MoveOn.org
 

We headed for Norman about 11 AM.   It's about 100 minutes to OKC from Tulsa and Norman is another
twenty miles south and we wanted this trip to run smoothly because there was a lot at stake and I tend to screw up.

I forgot what I paid for these nosebleed tickets, but the tickets say I paid $30 each.
That sounds crazy in 2009 - $30 to see the biggest band in the world do their biggest show ever?

A Bartcop reader offered us a free room on campus for the night, but we didn't intend to stay.
However, as the date got closer, Mrs. Bart mentioned she heard horrror stories about traffic at Sooner Field.
She heard some people at work saying they were stuck in their cars for two hours after a football game
and if that happened to us I'd be a dead man because we have no bathrooms in the Bartmobile.

How could it possibly take two hours for the crowd to clear out after a football game?

So I pricelined a fine hotel for super-cheap.  I'm getting to like Priceline.com

When we got to the city, we drove south to Norman to check out our getaway plan.

As we drove towards the stadium, we got our first clue.

See the stadium at the right?
See Lindsey street that connects the stadium traffic to I-35?

That's a two-lane street with a middle lane for turning so yes, that's a problem.
Every other huge stadium I've ever been in is right next to an Interstate highway - but not in Okiehomie.

Wisely (I'm being sarcastic) they designate all three lanes going East before the game
and after the game they have all three lanes going West to help the traffic flow, but do the math:
With 60,000 people, you figure maybe 20,000 cars - crowding thru three lanes of traffic.

That's 7,000 cars per lane and that's where the two-hours in the parking lot comes from.

F-ing backwards Oklahoma - they can't figure out how to do anything in this state.
They know there's going to be thousands of cars backed up for hours every game day
but as the years/decades roll by, they can't figure a way to solve this problem because they
don't know anybody as intellijent as Ol' Bart, so the problem goes on and on.

If they had any brains at all (Why do I bother?) they could sell bus tickets for $10.
and run hundreds of busses from OKC to Norman. I'd much rather pay $20 to avoid
sitting in some damn parking lot for two hours, but noooooooooooooooooooooo.
They can't expand their brains to the intellectual capacity of a jenius like myself.which 
is how a low-IQ tequiila boy like myself got to be the smartest man in the state.

Sidebar:
We saw Paul McCartney earlier this year in Tulsa.
He played the BOK, which holds about 16,000 people but, because we're Okies,
the ignorant sons of bitches didn't open the door to let people in until 30 minutes 
before the show was scheduled to start - and they only opened one bank of doors.

Yes, that's right - we had 16,000 people trying to Three Stooges their way into one set of doors.
Paul was supposed to take the stage at 8PM but there was still 10,000 people outside at 8 PM

Apparently, Verne forgot his keys and had to drive all the way back to his trailer to get them.
Can you believe these stupid Okies?  These are the people who think Tom Coburn is great.

Who would anticipate a crowd of people, showing up to see a Beatle,
in the only appearance any Beatles has ever made in the damn city?   

We finally got inside about 8:20 and I was shocked. At 8: 20, they were 
beginning to open the concession stand and start making popcorn and hot dogs.

These Okie brainiacs weren't sure if the sold-out McCartney crowd of 16,000 might be hungry, 
so there was no reason to be prepared to se;l food and drinks to the crowd that had been standing 
in the hot August sun for hours waiting for the damn doors to open.

OK, back to Norman and U2.

Just to the left of that light tower, you can barely see the U2 spaceship with the light-green skin and orange spire up-top.
If you see one of these ships being assembled in your neighborhood, find a ticket booth and pay whatever they ask.

OK, so it's 2 PM and we see why they have a massive parking problem, so how do we solve it?
We went back to our hotel and found out they have a shuttle.
A shuttle, as in one, so we had to play by their schedule so we made a deal to be dropped off
at the stadium hours before the show so the shuttle wouldn't get tied up in concert traffic.

That worked OK, but getting back to the hotel was a problem because, to avoid tying up
their shuttle for 3 hours (driving time, too) we had to either get picked up before the show was over
or see the entire show, then wait two hours for the shuttle to arrive and both options sucked.
 
I got online and got the setlist and we decided we'd have to miss the final encore.
We told the hotel to have the shuttle meet us on a certain corner around 10 PM.
We knew the song list so we could pace ourselves. As long as we left early,
we could be sure their shuttle wouldn't get stuck in heavy traffic.

Now it's time to find something to eat, so we cruised over to Oklahoma City's famed Bricktown.
Bricktown is a wannabe San Antonio, where the river (that's a joke) runs right thru town and their
intention was to recreate the success San Antonio has had, but this is Oklahoma where no idea is too
big or too small to fuck up.

We asked the hotel clerk what the best restaurants were and she said,
"For Italian, they have Zios and The Spaghetti Factory."

We have those in Tulsa and I'd rather eat at McDonalds or Arby's than either of those.

"For Mexican, they have Chelino's and Abuellos."

We ate at Chelinos years and years ago, and it was not-too-good, not-too-bad
but we wanted to do better so we kept listening for better options.

"For American we have Mickey Mantle's Steakhouse and Toby Keef's 'I Love This Bar' "
which makes sense because he owns it and it makes him tons of money.

We ate at MM's years ago and it was great - but expensive and it was too early for steak.
We settled on Abuellos, at least I could get a shot of real tequila there.

We walked in and there were plenty of people there, but nobody at the Reception station.
We waited and we waited and after a while, Mrs Bart said, "Let's try somewhere else,"
which is odd because usually *I* am the one with the short fuse - so we left.

We ended up at that dump, Chelinos. 

Once we were seated, I asked to see a tequila list.
The guy laughs at me and says, "Dude, we have Cuervo Gold!" like he was proud of himself.

This is a big Mexican restaurant only a few hundred miles from actual Mexico
but they've never heard of any tequila besides that awful, fake Cuervo "tequila."

Of course, they had 40 kinds of wine and 100 kinds of beer and 60 other liquors
so why bother having tequila choices in a Mexican restaurant?

We were running out of time so we hurried back to the hotel to wait for Nameed, the shuttle driver.
He dropped us off at Sooner Stadium and it was 4:30 or so.

There were thousands and thousands of people there.
I was hoping they'd open the damn doors early so we could go inside, maybe liquor up,
maybe walk around and look at all the National Championship trophies the Sooners have won
over the years, but this is Oklahoma where the people in charge have no brain cells at all.

There were thousands and thousands of customers waiting outside, people who could be
eating and drinking and buying U2 shirts, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Why let people inside to spend money when you can have them stand in the cold wind, instead?

I've said it many times - Chicago thinks they're the "windy city," but they're lying to themselves.
Come to OOOOOOOOklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.

It wasn't really all that cold - mid-fifties and dropping - but that wind was f-ing cruel,
blowing trash cans over and knocking small children off their feet and into the street.

Finally, the doors opened ar 6 PM and we get inside.
Because we had nosebleed tickets, (we were in Row 66 of the upper deck)
it took a long damn time to make that climb, but we finally got there and booom!

Holy Mother of Pearl, would you look at that!

I'm old, and I've been to dozens of rock concerts, but I've never seen a stage that big in my life.
That black thing tea-bagging from the spaceship is a video screen - with lots of surprises hidden in it.

After a millenia, it got dark and the Black Eyes Peas came out about 7: 15.
I like them OK - Fergie's not my idea of hotness - but they were better than I expected.
It was their first gig with U2 and they seemed VERY excited about that.

Wil. I. Am said, "It's great to be in Oklahoma" about 20 times, seriously and I thought, 
"No dude, it's just OK to be here," but he was excited about playing such a big show, I guess.

They all sang better than you'd expect.  B.E.P. songs don't really translate that well in a stadium because 
of their compact delivery style and silly songs, "My humps, my lumps, my lovely lady lumps" but like 
I said, they did better then I expected.  They gave their best and what else can you ask for?
The crowd liked them more than I did - they were ready for a party.

Then there was a very long break, which didn't seem necessary. The stage looked ready after only 20-30 
minutes, and the roadies walked around the oval playing guitar to themselves for what seemed like forever.
I wanted the show to start because that damn shuttle was coming at 10 PM and it was almost 9 PM. 

      It reminded me of a model railroad town, with the little men and little cars and little street lights
 

See how the video screen is dropping its skirt a little bit?
I wondered if that was to allow the screen to cool off - I was wrong.

Finally, the lights went out and the place went bonkers.

They opened with Breathe, Get On Your Boots, and Magnificent from the new "Horizons" CD.

The sound was excellent, crisp and clear.
Oddly enough, I thought it could have been louder, but more on that later.

Another sidebar:

I was a little peeved at the band for taking so long to come out.
Thinking back, it was getting colder every minute so it was in their own best interests to get out there,
but when I realized the shuttle would be here to pick us up in one hour, I tried to call the hotel and push 
that back but I couldn't get a signal on that damn iPhone.

In April of 2008, I was in New York, standing in the middle of goddamn Times Square and I 
couldn't get a signal - that's why I bought the iPhone so that shit would stop happening to me.

I tried and tried - nothing.

Sidebar within a Sidebar:
The iPhone is a great marvel of technology - when it works.
It has many amazing features from the future, but the phone totally sucks.
The bullshit phone I got for free in 2002 worked so much better.

I can't even call the BartPhone when something funny happens to me in the car because the sound 
is so bad, you can't understand what's being said when it plays back on Bartcop Radio - WTF?
Even worse, when we got to the hotel at 4 PM, I charged it fully but it was dead again by 9 PM.

Why can't anybody make a product that actually works?
 

So I left during Breathe, Get On Your Boots, and Magnificent to try to borrow a phone
Since "everybody" has a cell phone now, there are no pay phones at Sooner Stadium.

So I started asking ushers or whatever you call them, "Can I borrow your phone, please?"
They all said, "You can try, but if you're with AT&T, you won't get a signal here."

That pissed me off.
Besides the inconvenience, I think it's dangerous to have 60-70,000 people inside a square quarter mile
and have all the iPhones rendered useless.  I walked to the air-y parts of the stadium, in the corners where 
the 30 MPH winds were sweeping down my pants and still I got nothing.

I had to find a way to make this call or we'd have to leave after one hour.
After about 15 lost precious minutes, I found a vendor with a Verizon phone near the front gate.
He let me use it and I got the shuttle pushed back an hour - no thanks to Apple.

Then they did Mysterious Ways, Beautiful Day and a snippet of George Harrison's Here Comes the Sun. 

As the concert proceeded, the visuals got more and more intense.

Then we got I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For -then Stand By Me (Bono sang the first line, 
then he "gave" the crowd the mic and the stadium finished the song, in time and in key, it seemed.)

Every few songs, the video screen got more muscular. 
Then it expanded.

It was a GREAT effect.
You can't see much on this poor quality iPhone picture (Apple, when you going to fix that?)
but the images of the band members were showing on the outside of that basket.

I've never seen anything this spectacular in a concert.

Sidebar:
I'm not talking only about the music, but they totally ruled the world.
If Bono's voice is working (it was) U2 delivers better than Fed Ex.

And with all respect, don't write me and tell me KISS has a big stage show, too.
A great stage show without great songs delivered greatly is ...Britney Spears.

When you have so many great songs that naturally some people will be disapppointed that
they didn't get to hear their favorite song, well, that's a good kind of pain that other bands would kill for.
U2 doesn't have to apologize for being the biggest band in the world for 22 years ...and counting.

         April, 1987

Then we got Stuck In A Moment, No Line On The Horizon, Elevation and Your Blue Room.  
No Line on the Horizon is a great, hard-rocking song, almost a throwback to their early punk days.
And the place really got hopping for Elevation.
We were a quarter mile away and people around us were hopping.

Damn, rock music done well is "f-ing A" great entertainment.
I was wiping tears out of my eyes all night.
When I see greatness, I always have the same thought:
Why can't whoever is Number Two be half this good?

Then it was time for the BIG GUNS.

My all-time favorite U2 song, one I missed both nights on their 2005 tour, Until the End of the World was next.

Shiver me timbers.   The spaceship went f-ing crazy - I wondered if it was going to leave the ground.

More tears - and I paid $30 to see this magic?
Incredible.

If tickets were $300 each, I'd mow lawns or rob a liquor store to get the money if I had to..
If you like hard rock, this is the top of the food chain, barring a Zeppelin reunion.

Sidebar:
I forget which song, but at one point, Bono grabbed a ten year old boy from the crowd
and brought him onstage to stand and run/walk with him as he sang the next two songs.

Maybe this seems hokey to the U2 haters, but I think this kinds stuff shows their humanity.
Bono walked around the oval with this kid, who by now was wearing Bono's sunglasses.
The kid was a big hit with the crowd, too.  I hate to use this word, but it was sweet.
What other band could even pull that off? 
What other band would you let borrow your son?
 

 Quotes 

"Perhaps because the mood was right and the crowd was primed, U2 added two songs it had not played 
  in previous shows on the tour, 2000’s "In a Little While” and the new "Unknown Caller,” a dramatic, 
  half-chanted song partially constructed from computer commands. But after that deep plunge into the 
  new disc, the band came roaring back to familiar territory with two of its most haunting songs, the 
  Biblical melodrama "Until the End of the World” and a mesmerizing version of "The Unforgettable Fire.”
     -- George Lang, writing for the fundie rag, The Oklahoman,          
 

 I remember that Unknown Caller song - first time I'd heard it and it was good.

Then a nice surprise - The Unforgettable Fire, followed by City of Blinding Lights, Vertigo, 
and I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight, which is probably considered a lesser song, 
but at this point the video screen had turned into an orgasmatron.  The band could put themselves
in any environment - a desert, a snowstorm - whatever, and they pulled it off spectacularly. 

It's hard to explain but you can see the band and you can see thru the video screen
but the band is also ON the video screen - and then the individual pieces of the screen
started lighting up individually and independently and racing around in circles. 

If this was 32 years ago I would've been the Window Pane Kid.
If you kids out there take Xstacy or whatever the new drugs are called, 
I'm not saying you should do these dangerous drugs, but IF you're going to do them
this U2 concert will give you the biggest visual bang you'll ever see without God's help.

Then came Sunday Bloody Sunday, MLK, and Walk On - You'll Never Walk Alone
which was dedicated to Aung San Suu Kyi, the legally elected ruler of Myanmar.

Bono wrote Walk On for his dying father, so you know it means a lot to him.
During Walk On about 50 people wearing Aung San Suu Kyi masks walked onstage and "faced" the crowd.

Did I mention Bono was a showman?

Before the show, Bono had Amnesty International asking for signatures on petitions to free her.
I signed it blind because I trust Bono and he asked for our help.

Bono told the hushed crowd that she won election in 1990, but the military in Myanmar has kept her 
under house arrest all these years - I wonder why Bush didn't invade Myanmar and free her?
Oh, that's right - Myanmar has no oil so why would an evil oil thief fucking bother?

All that horseshit about "Freedom is God's gift to everyone" was just Bush's excuse to butcher Iraq 
and murder Saddam and steal his oil, the son of a bitch. (You can decide which SOB I'm talking about.)

By the way, we're not done with Bush in this report.

Meanwhile, the video screen continued the constant eyeball orgasms.

You never know what's going to happen at a U2 concert.

In years past, we've seen Martin Luther King appear to preach for non-violence.
This time we got a message from Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
 

If I remember correctly, Tutu said before Bono got involved (my words)
Africa only had anti-AIDS medicine for 50,000 people - so what did Bono do?

He went to Bush's White House on October 14th, 2005 to talk to Der Monkey Fuhrer.

"Lookie me, Pickles, I'm here with Bono! 
  heh heh... I'm a real rock star - heh heh..."

I remember Bono catching shit for it at the time.
"Why is he being so nice to the Monkey?"
"Why is Bono acting so friendly with the evil dictator?"

Bono got a private meeting with Bush so he could say, (I'm guessing),
"Mr President, I believe you are a great man whom God has chosen to do great things.
 The people of Africa are God's children, too, and they're dying by the millions. Can you 
 PLEASE find a way to give a MASSIVE boost to spending for more AIDS drugs for Africa?" 

It's my opinion that Bono made Bush a deal - that if Bush would help Bono with this,
Bono would agree to never bad-mouth Bush in public and I think he kept that promise.

(On the 1992 tour, Bono would call the White House, live from the Zoo Station stage between songs 

 
 
 and ask to speak with Poppy to mock him.  Maybe Bono saw Bush's need to upstage his daddy?) 

Then Bono went to Orrin Hatch and gave him the same speech.
"Senator, I'm sure you love your children and your grandchildren but those kids dying in Africa
  are just as precious to their parents as your kids are to you - they are God's children, too, so PLEASE 
  do whatever it takes to push thru a MASSIVE increase in spending for drugs for Africa - PLEASE do this..."

I think I remember Hatch saying that he played a little guitar, and that he and Bono sat down and wrote some songs 
together so Hatch could tell his grandkids that he was, to a degree, Bono's songwriting partner and that made him cool

And then Bono went to the bastard of all bastards, Jesse f-ing Helms and gave him the same speech. I remember reading 
that during thar 2005 U2 tour, Helms took his grandkids to see U2 in concert in DC and they probably went backstage to 
meet the band and that made Grandpa a real hero - something Helms couldn't buy with all his his bloody NRA money.

Bottom line?
Bono traded in some dignity and some coolness and he swallowed his pride and he agreed
to kiss the asses of the very worst of the criminal Rethugs - and what did it get him?
 
According to Archbishop Tutu, spending on anti-AIDS drugs went from near nothing to BIG TIME, and that today, 
300 million Africans are still alive, I believe, because of Bono's efforts.

Don't try to tell me that Bush, Helms and Hatch would've done this on their own.
Don't try to tell me that greedy Rethugs and oil men have ever helped anyone without a kickback.
Don't try to tell me that those 300M people would be alive today without Bono's help.

Republicans don't give a fuck - it's that simple. 

They see saving 300M lives as "worthless social programs."
They see saving 300M lives as "socialism."
They see saving 300M lives as "something pussies do."
 

Over the years I've compared Bono to that vulgar bastard, the Pigboy.
I've guess that both have in excesss of $400 million dollars to play with, but check out the difference.

Rush used his power and money to divide America, to get ignorant whites to hate Blacks and gays, etc.
Rush's goal was to get involved in the NFL, but he got fired by ESPN for being a racist bastard.
Then Rush's goal was to OWN an NFL team, so everyone would know how "important" he was but 
he was too much of a racist prick for those racist pricks and now he's banned from football forever..

On the other hand...

Bono has used his power and money to help those with less or those who were dying.
Bono's goal, years ago, was debt relief for the poorest African nations. Then he figured out 
some lobbying could raise more money and do more good than holding a Live Aid every year 
and he ended up saving 300,000,000 lives - and counting - by doing it.

If there really was a Heaven and a Hell, I guess we'd know who was going where.

I've always liked Bono and his band but I never thought of him as a "great man" 
until I saw that he had a hand in saving the lives of 300 million Africans.

I think that calls for a shot of Chinaco.

OK, we gotta close things up or we'll be here all day.

After Walk On the band left the stage

For the encore: we got One, (a simple, gorgeous song) Amazing Grace (that the crowd sang) 
and the hyper-dramatic Where the Streets Have No Name. 
 
That's the closest I've been to church in thirty years.
The U2 spaceship was rainbow-spasming like Floyd's Run Like Hell encore.

After Streets, we had to leave so we could catch the shuttle for the ride home but I, like you, 
can catch the second encore this Sunday night live and free on Youtube.com 

Have you ever heard of a band filling up The Rose Bowl?
Maybe that's happened before, maybe not, but on Sunday U2 is going to fill up YouTube.com

Numbers-wise, I guess it'll be the biggest concert in history.
Does any other band come close to having U2's global appeal?

The second encore was Ultraviolet, With or Without You and Moment of Surrender
We heard those songs perfectly from blocks away as we walked to the shuttle.
 

One thing's for sure:
Bono deserves to win the Heisman Trophy for his performance on that football field last Sunday.

And why hasn't Bono won a Nobel Peace Prize for saving 300 million lives?

Watch U2's biggest concert ever FREE Sunday on YouTube at about 8:30 PT.

 Preview

They're at the Rose Bowl live, in the first full-length YouTube global concert.
The 96,000 people expected to attend will reportedly be the most ever to fit in the Rose Bowl.

The show will also be available for replay after Sunday.
 

If I hadn't read Marty's E Page  I wouldn't have known about this.

  Click on the E!
 
 

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Bart, one of my best friends is from OKC and he tells me he finally had to threaten his redneck 
brothers and sister with being pout on the spam filter if they didn't stop forwarding hate mail about
Obama so I feel got you living there, even though I live in EU-taaw where The Lard His Own Self
tells the reich-wingers that Jeebus hates days, Obama and Democrats, in that order..

It's been a while since I made a "live offering," as the Baptists 
I was raised with called it, so here goes. Keep hammerin'!
 rdale   "Behind the Zion Curtain," Eu-taaw
 

RDale, that was nice - thanks
 

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