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Jan 18, 2011 Vol 2639 - Maybach
Business slow? Maybe it's time to advertise
Quotes
"The Founding Fathers would have hated your guts…and you would have hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris, and thought the Bible was mostly bullshit.” -- Bill Maher, to teabaggers, Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: more guns, more guns Bart, both Texas and Arizona are considering laws allowing college students to carry guns on campus. The theory seems to be that it will make the lecturer's work place more safe to have a well armed audience. So it seems only sensible to me that the legislators should receive the same benefit. Imagine how safe they would feel knowing that everyone in the galleries over the House and Senate floors is well armed. Knowing that when they walked out of their office or out of the House Chamber everybody they see could be a lunatic with a 30 round clip. That's what a Professor would see when he walked out of his office or classroom. Let's make their workplace just as safe as a college campus! They have earned it! zw Send e-mail to Bart Shopping online?
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Quotes
"Last week we saw a
white Catholic male Republican judge murdered on his way to greet
a Democratic Jewish woman member of Congress, who was his friend. Her life was saved initially by a 20-year-old Mexican-American gay college student, and eventually by a Korean American combat surgeon, and this all was eulogized by our African American President." -- Mark Shields, who I haven't heard about since Capital Gang folded, Thanks to Brad Send e-mail to Bart It looks like we're going to lose
Bartcop's Worldwide Computer Repair. Apparently every Democrat in the world has a computer that's working perfectly. It was a great idea that should've worked. We fix broken computers. Can we fix yours? Sign up now! We come to you! Quotes "(Stars at the Golden Globes) were furious but had to sit and smile because the camera's were on them. It really says something when several people who attended said they would have felt safer with Kathy Griffin hosting." -- 'Golden Globe insider' saying Ricky Gervais will never host again, Link I thought he was over the line several times. As deep as he was cutting, I asusme he had cleared things with the stars, but apparently not. Example: He introduced Robert Downey Jr saying something like, "You know him from police lineups, ERs and courtrooms..." That might've been funny ten years ago, but in 2011? Besides Eddie Izzard and Russel Brand, I don't get English humour. ...and you know you REALLY fucked up if they say they wished they had Kathy Griffin, instead. Send e-mail to Bart Subject: We came unarmed - this time Bart - This might be important. The side-by-side photos of "We came unarmed this time" and "This time they were armed" is the best encapsulation of the entire situation I've seen - especially the subtext of "First they say 'shoot' then someone shoots and they say "Who, me?" That should be on T-shirts, posters and plastered all over the web. It is a "teaching moment" of an image worth a thousand words. Unfortunately blood simple. Collins I agree, but nobody is buying anything right now. I think I could give away a bottle of Chinaco with every shirt and we still wouldn't get any takers. Maybe when jobs start coming back...? Vatican: Don't Report Sex Abuse Yeah, let's make ALL the rapists Saints Link The order came in 1997, when John Paul II was The Boss. Sure, let's go ahead and make that rapist a saint and don't forget - Benny the Rat wants in, too. "Bart, don't fuck with my campaign to be a Saint." Send e-mail to Bart Quotes -- yesterday's USA Today editorial That statement is 100% true, so I gotta ask - one more time: Why can't Democrats f-ing THINK? The economy crashed in 2008 and millions of people lost their jobs. What voters wanted was jobs, jobs, jobs, so our idiot Democrats, and that especially includes Obama, Reid and Pelosi, focused on everything in the world EXCEPT JOBS for the whole first year. In 2010, millions of voters wanted jobs, jobs, jobs, so our idiot Democrats, once again, focused on every goddamn thing in the world EXCEPT JOBS! Why can't Democrats f-ing THINK? It's so f-ing EASY, but Democrats can't think - WHY? Carville and Clinton, once again, gave them the blueprint in 1992: "It's the Economy, Stupid," but Democrats can't think so they can't learn. When a man (or woman) has a job and they can provide for their family, they are HAPPY and they're most likely going to reward whoever's in the White House, but Team Obama and Reid & Pelosi couldn't figure that out. How is it possible that Democrats can be that stupid? I've been asking that question for at least a decade and haven't found an answer yet. There's something about the lib-Demo brain that refuses to think. Maybe that's why we keep getting beat by heartless, greedy cavemen. So, it's 2011, will Obama and Reid make the same mistakes AGAIN? I predict they will. Why is our side so damn stupid and clueless? Quotes "Being a Democrat is the most frustrating thing on the planet. We’re running against people that are pro-torture, pro-war, pro child labor, and losing.” -- John Cole, and he's right Link If we had semi-competent leadership, we'd have 75 senators and 335 House members and we could actually move this backwards country forward again. As is, President Inhofe and VP Coburn run America. Send e-mail to Bart http://www.redtagprintsale.com/a/BartCop Quotes "I don't think it's their fault. It's not the parents' fault. I'd like to think I'm a person that's somewhat forgiving. And I mean, they've got to be hurting in this situation as much as anybody. I'm sure they love their son. And they must be as distraught over this as all of us are." -- Gabrielle Gifford's husband in a bold and classy move, Link Send e-mail to Bart Reagan was a gun-grabber But they fear Obama 'cause he's Black Link Send e-mail to Bart Help Bartcop.com survive! to bartcop@bartcop.com OR send a 'love' check to bartcop.com
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Quotes "No. The Court of Criminal Appeals is an elected court, it's all Republican, it's highly political. It's known as a prosecutors' court, but in this case I would bet that they're going to rule for the defendant." -- Lou Dubose, asked if Tom DeLay (R-Convicted Felon) would ever spend a day in jail, Link "I'm nuts about crooked judges!" Send e-mail to Bart What's killing our bees? The answer might make you sick... Link Thanks to Keith F. Send e-mail to Bart Dr. Laura Quotes "One of my betrayers is dead — and that makes me mad. He was once a mentor and — I thought — a dear friend. I did realize his insecurities were a major part of his personality, but he’d been kind and supportive and was quite witty and interesting. I was in my twenties, with not much life experience to make me more wary. As he aged and his career waned, he turned mean. To jump-start renewed media awareness of him, he trotted around to radio programs and so-called journalists to say disgusting things about me and sold thirty-year-old pictures of me in the nude to Hustler. The photos with a sweet expression and bottom covered were indeed me, but disgusting pictures appropriate for Hustler, bottom uncovered, were manufactured. (I got BIG BUCKS that says she's lying. I don't have the tech background to prove it, but I'm willing to bet on it.) These pictures are all over the Internet and will be so for the rest of my life. That betrayal keeps on giving. It was humiliating, and made my life hell. My son had to deal with this in school." Link Clarification: *I* did not orginally post her nasty-ass pictures, but I believe I was instrumental in distributing them. We'd just gotten back from Washington DC in October of 1998. Someone called and said there were nasty-ass pics of Miss Queen Harpie on the net, so I grabbed them - every one of them. Then I called my buddy Sabutai and told him to check them out. He called back and said, "That site took the pictures down," so I signed onto the Newsgroups, which some people call "Usenet" and posted everything I had and they went around the world about as fast as you figure they would. First, Laura said, "Those pictures aren't me." Nice try, liar. Then she said, "Those pictures aren't me, but I OWN the right to them." What would she own super-tacky pictures of some woman with her legs spread? Then she said, "Those pictures are me, but they were taken when I was 29 and you don't really have a moral compass until you're 30," which is super-sized horseshit. When she finally got to court, the judge ruled that, since every teenage boy and every politico in the world already had the pictures, assigning ownership to them was pointless. And Laura, you should've thought about how your kids would feel seeing those pictures BEFORE you dropped your panties for those ugly, artless, spread-legged pictures. You're right about one thing: Those pictures belong in Hustler because they're waaaaaaay too gross for Playboy. Own it, Bitch. Isn't that what you tell people who are stupid enough to call you for advice? Oh, by the way, Here's the Link (must be 18 because they're really tacky) Thanks, Laura, for the hundreds of thousands of hits over the last 13 years. Send e-mail to Bart Check out the news and toons at Guess the City Link Subject: last issue's mystery city Bart, last issue's mystery city is Havana. From WIKI: El Capitolio, or National Capitol Building in Havana, Cuba, was the seat of government in Cuba until after the Cuban Revolution in 1959, and is now home to the Cuban Academy of Sciences. Lonnie in Tokyo That was a tough one. Tom M also got it right. Send e-mail to Bart You can select a monthly plan to provide
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Today's History Mystery Link Subject: last issue's history mystery Who is last issue's History Mystery? Hi Bart, The History Mystery photo is little Bobby Blake as "Little Beaver" from the 1940's Western series. He was also one of the last members of the "Our Gang" cast in the 1940's. It is also of interest that he played the Mexican boy who sold Humphrey Bogart the winning lottery ticket in "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre". Jim R. in Chicago Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation If
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