From: skisics@yahoo.com
Subject: Dear Gov. Bush
As you recall we first did an x-ray of your prostate and found nothing
unusual.
Next we ran a PSA test and did find elevated levels.
Our next step would be to do exploratory surgery to see what's really
in there,
but since you view machines as more reliable, we'll stick with the
x-ray.
Good luck with your future,
Your doctors!
I'm not exactly sure what
this is,
but I sure like the way it starts.
From: mwo@mediawhoresonline.com
Subject: Enemies of Democracy and America
An enemy of democracy is an enemy of America.
He is, for example, a person who KNOWS the majority of a state's voters
voted
or believed they voted for his opponent - but does everything in his
power to keep
the WILL OF THE PEOPLE from ever seeing the light of day.
Gore does not fit this defintion. Bush does.
Gore WON FLORIDA.
The exit polls were correct, and Gore probably won by over ten thousand votes.
Bush would oppose a Palm Beach revote, for example - even for only those
who
voted the first time. Why? Well, we ALL know why. He knows the vast
majority
of those 19,000 double punched ballots were intended for Gore. And
he knows
that Buchanan only received about 400 of that 3400 votes.
But he doesn't care.
He just wants to win at all costs, including sweeping the WILL OF THE
PEOPLE under the rug.
Evil hates the light.
Bush hates anything that will get us closer to exposing what the majority
of Florida voters
intended to do on election day, but were prevented from doing due to
illegal ballots and
bogus roadblocks - that is, VOTE FOR AL GORE.
How can any Bush supporter (all of whom certainly know that most voters
intended to
elect Gore in Florida) hold his head up knowing that Mr. Gore won both
Florida AND
the national popular vote, and Bush's "victory" depends on BURYING
that fact?
To continue to support Bush means that a person favors keeping intact
ELECTION FUCKUPS
which deny people their vote - and it makes one an enemy of democracy.
Bush can never be a legitimate president. Gore won.
The Brew Says "Hey"
The Realm of Bizarre
Old King George was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he.
He called forth for voters, to see how they spoke, to see if it was
him, or me.
The votes came in and sure looked grim, so he sent out an urgent decree.
Out went the word to the minister of elections, to stop this vote like
a bad infection.
And when the final tally neared, and it looked like Gore might hold
it dear,
King George shouted out "Stop the recount; Freeze the vote; I think
it's good enough for close."
No more counting! It's me! It's me! It's not even close, don't you see?
The people demanded that we stop the vote, in order that I may finally
gloat.
"Foul" cried the people, I think you forgot, to add our vote, in to
the lot.
Nonsense, said George, you've had your chance. I know you can vote,
but I forgot how to count.
It's not fair to count more, the people have spoken. It's George by
a whisker, the minister has spoken.
But then from the distance a sound could be heard. The echoes grew louder
its sound like a stir.
The chad they came running to see what's the clatter; they start falling
from cards and that's surely to matter.
And when the dust settles, the point becomes clear, the will
of the people shall be what we hear.
And so today in a land not so far, lives old king George, in the realm
of Bizarre.
Where up is down, and elephants fly, we can find King George, asleep
by and by.
He wakes with a start, to find himself free. He exclaims with a grimace,
I guess it's not me.
Power at Any Price
by James Higdon
Here's something that looks pretty good.
It's the Maverick Republican.
Countercoup
Millionaire just said The Flintstones were on TV before The Honeymooners.
I think that's wrong.
I think the Flintstones started in 1960, and Jackie and Art
were doing Ralph and Ed in the fifties.
Plus, there's the always-reliable Buck Fush
Steve Kangas, (murdered by Richard Mellon Scaife?) still has a presence on the net.
I'd like to congradulate Dallas on the scoring of their only touchdown in 10 quarters.
Breaking Faith by Bob Herbert
Excerpt:
By threatening to take the matter to the Republican-controlled
Florida Legislature,
Mr. Bush and the Republicans are signaling their willingness
to attempt to deny the
presidency to the winner of the popular vote nationally, the
popular vote in Florida
and a majority of the Electoral College.
That should make you nervous.
From: Latzmark@erols.com
Subject: Legitimate President vs. AlGore
Yo Bartcop,
Deal with this: Bush WON the Florida votes; Bush
WON the mandated recount;
Bush WON the illegal recounts. Notice a pattern
here? Bush WON; get over it!
ha ha
You mean because his brother and campaign manager said so?
You don't think we should bother counting the votes?
Are you so dense that having a Democrat in the Whitehouse is more imortant than the law?
My "density" has nothing to do with it.
You can't be serious about wanting that moron in the White House.
You can't want victory at the cost of endangering the country.
Should AlGore win the state of Florida, it won't
be by the legal VOTE,
it will be by the legal wrangling of the law
by Democrat lawyers argueing
before Democrat judges who deign to legislate
from the bench, rather than
letting the dully elected legislators decide
the laws of the land, or in this case, state.
What year did you graduate from EIB University?
Are you one of those nuts that say the Supreme Court has no business
interpreting the law?
Whats next; the Supreme's of Florida declaring AlGore King Billy the Sleaze II?
ha ha
You're not thinking clearly.
It's a good thing for you that Clinton couldn't run again.
He would've wiped Ol' Smirk off the map.
I'm sorry Bartcop, but the ends don't justify
the means; at least thats the way
America is supposed to work. Your boy AlGore
will stop at NOTHING to get
to the Whitehouse, laws be damned, the same as
King Billy the Sleaze I.
Why do people like you claim Gore will stop at nothing,
when your side is doing all the cheating and vote-fixing?
Thats not what this country should be put through
for another four years.
By the way, did you serve in the military?
I didn't think so ...
No, and I was never AWOL, either.
You see, I had this giant, 40-pound infected cyst on my ass..
Whoops, sorry, that was Rush Limba that had the giant cyst.
ha ha
Maybe I didn't serve, but I support our boys in uniform,
which is more than that vulgar Pigboy can say.
This web page is making Rush look like Knight in Shining Armor ...
MJL
I appreciate you reading bartcop.com every day.
Tons of mail and 'toons
From: jbhigdon@townsend.com
Subject: Ballots
Bartcop:
Now, let me get this straight. When the good citizens of West
Palm beach
were confused because the instructions on their ballots were WRONG,
causing them to either over or under vote, their ballots are thrown
out
because those good people are just too dumb to live. But when
military
personnel fail to fill out a STANDARD absentee ballot correctly (and
in
many cases, had sections filled out for them in advance), by failing
to
sign, or supply an identification number, and have their ballots thrown
out, it's that evil Algore attempting to steal the election.
This sounds like "REPUBLICAN SPEAK" to me.
I have a suggestion. Lets have the 1400 military personnel re-file
their
votes, and the 30,000 West Palm Beach voters do the same.
Seems like an equitable solution. I don't want to see any vote
go uncounted.
Can the Bush team say the same?
James B. Higdon
This Hurts
Chris Rock's Last Show - Tomorrow Night
NEW YORK – Chris Rock is wrapping up the four-year run of his Emmy-winning
HBO late-night talk show with Friday's season finale, HBO confirmed Tuesday.
HBO's president of original programming, Chris Albrecht, said in a written
statement that Mr. Rock had a great run with The Chris Rock Show,
which earned four consecutive Emmy nominations for best variety or
musical series since its premiere in 1997.
Mr. Rock and his writing team won the Emmy last year for writing for a
variety or musical series. Guests set for Friday's final installment include
rapper-actor Ice-T and singer Nikka Costa.
Although he is signing off as host of a regular HBO series, Mr. Rock is
sure to
maintain a high profile on the pay-TV network. His most recent HBO comedy
special,
1999's Chris Rock: Bigger and Blacker, also yielded an Emmy nomination.
Mr. Rock "is one of the biggest stars out there, and we continue to remain
in business with him and his concert specials," Mr. Albrecht said.
Indeed, Mr. Rock has become one of filmdom's most sought-after comedians
since
his career took off with his 1990-93 run on Saturday Night Live. When he
hosted the
1999 MTV Video Music Awards, the telecast set the network's all-time ratings
record
with more than 8 million households tuning in.
From: kishrandy@hotmail.com
Subject: G. Liddy said....
I swear to god the "G-Man" is fucking out of this world.
He said, while on "The Edge" with whoever that stupid idiot woman
was Monday night, that in Florida people were "eating chads"!!!
That's right!
Just like a Democrat to manufacture votes, skew an election,
ignore the laws of the land, and do anything top get a free meal!
Fuckin' LIBERALS!!
It doesn't get any better than G. Liddy!
Randy
Today's Page Two Girl has a face
From: Cunningham@Hdnet.k12.mo.us
Subject: What about telling the truth?
I took just a few short minutes to look at you
sight.
Found it with a Rush Limbaugh search.
Your whit is just to much.
Good luck
Jon R Cunningham
Jon,
Your address tells me you're a teacher.
Hopefully, you teach math, not spelling or English.
Great Smirky Quotes
"The legislature's job is to write the law,
the executive branch's job is to interpret
it."
-George DubYa shows why he doesn't teach
Government
Thanks to voltai29@geocities.com
From: suzeli@erols.com
Subject: Mayor Daley's "Theft"
bc,
Next time PigBoy or one of his ditto sheep tells you how Bill Daley's
dad "stole" the
1960 election for JFK, point out to him that even without Illinois'
27 electoral votes,
Kennedy would still have had 276, a bigger Electoral College majority
than Smirk
will have even after he succeeds in stealing Florida. And never
mind that Nixon's
hands were none too clean in Southern Illinois balloting.
For the math-challenged,
303 (JFK)
- 27 (Illinois)
----------------
= 276 Electoral votes
Eliot
Phoebe Cates says,
Don't get behind...
Read bartcop.com every day!
Unbreakable
Samuel L Jackson is one of my favorite actors.
I first saw him in Pulp Fiction
and he won my heart.
The restaurant hold-up scene was one of
the best pieces of film work
I've ever seen, and I don't know another
actor who could've pulled it off.
So we've been seeing those ads for Unbreakable
starring
Sam and Bruce Willis.
By the way, my review of Unbreakable
has nothing to do with Bruce's shitty politics.
This new film was directed by that M Shangalang
fellow, the guy who did Sixth Sense.
I had major problems with Sixth Sense.
Read
my review of that film.
Oh, by the way, don't read this if you want
to see Unbreakable completely clean.
I won't give away much, but if you've seen
the previews, you already know that
Bruce has never been sick - or hurt.
The problems I have with Unbreakable
are the same as with Sixth Sense.
Bruce is Superman - but he doesn't know
it?
How stupidly impossible is that?
He has nearly super-human strength, but
didn't find out till he was 45?
That's too stupid for anyone to buy.
Also, if he touches a person, he can read
their mind.
Duh!
How does that talent stay hidden
for 45 years?
And here's the big one - he's never been
sick, never gotten hurt.
You'd think, as a kid, when he fell off
his bike, he'd say,
"I'll be damned, my knees and elbows aren't
bleeding - I wonder why."
Like everything else, he's to goddamn stupid
to realize this.
The script has more holes than Smirk's
tax plans.
Bruce calls his boss to inquire how many
sick days he's taken.
The answer is zero.
Why did he need to ask his boss if the answer
is zero?
If you were sick 6 or 8 times, it makes
sense, but if he has no memory of ever
calling the boss to say, "I'm sick today,"
maybe it's because he never made that call.
Duh!
Remember, the problem with Sixth Sense was
that, if Bruce has really been dead
for a year, how dense could he be to not
have anyone talk to him for a year?
In that year, he never took off his coat
and saw the blood on his back?
He didn't eat for a year? He didn't have
sex for a year? Or use the bathroom for a year?
Same problem with this stupid, stupid movie.
Oh, and there's a "shock" at the end of
the movie that's a 1 on the scale of big shocks.
Also, the movie is directed and edited
like a third-grader did it.
Looooooong, lingering shots of absolutely
nothing.
You figure there's some hidden meaning
if the director's going to hold a shot for
30 seconds, but there's never anything
there on the 31st second.
There's a scene where Sam Jackson goes catatonic
for 5 minutes.
The store clerk keeps asking, "Are you
OK? Should I call someone?"
After five looooooooong minutes, Sam starts
talking again, but there's no explanation
why he blacked out for those five minutes.
Stupid writing, stupid directing.
Willis and Jackson acted OK, but what horrible
parts they had.
I've got a pretty low opinion of my writing,
but I can write better than M Shangalang.
Oh, another stupid thing M did, was he
spends the first 90 looooooong minutes
explaning how Bruce doesn't get along with
his wife.
THEN, Bruce discovers his powers.
It would've been a lot better movie of they
simply made the point that he was distant
from his wife, THEN get to the super powers,
which is where the movie is, you nit-witt!
Jesus Christ, he's 45 and just discovered
he has super-strength?
He mentions moving from the apartment into
their house five years ago.
Trust me, when you move that couch and
that refrigerator, you'll know if
you've got the strength of ten men, Mr
Shangalang.
To make things worse, right after the movie
I read the K-Drag paper's review.
It couldn't heap enough praise on this
stupid, stupid film.
"You can't wait to see it again," the reviewer
wrote.
Thank Koresh I read the review in USA TODAY.
That guy saw the same movie I saw.
He said "You don't need Haley Joel Osment's
character to see the dead grosses
after word of mouth gets out about this
dog of a movie."
If you've seen this movie, I'd like to read/print
your review.
If you saw anything to like in this
movie, write me for sure.
VCR Alert -West
Wing
I thought last night's West Wing was one of their best shows
ever.
Only this season's premier was better, and maybe last year's
Arlington episode.
West Wing is better than most movies I shell out the 7 dollars
for.
Speaking of movies, I saw the new Bruce Willis/Sam Jackson movie.
You might want to read my review before you spend your money.
Last night's West Wing - co-produced by Patrick Caddell.
Is this the same Pat Judas Caddell who hates Democrats
with all his heart?
Produced by Lawrence O'Donnell.
Is this the same Lawrence O'Donnell from the McLaughlin Group?
At least he's partly sane.
Story by Pat Caddell - that makes me sick.
Directed by Laura Innes, the doctor with the cane on ER.
Are these real names or are they just f-ing with us?
If you saw the show last night, you might enjoy hearing these
clips again.
For those of you in other countries, this is the best TV show
we have.
Here's some clips:
Clip One - a boatload of Chinese is asking for asylum on religious grounds.
Clip Two - Leo, (Chief of Staff) tells his controversial sister
to withdraw her name
from consideration for a job.
Clip Three - The Chinese representative takes his religious test.
The only thing missing from this scene was Groucho's duck.
...and I forgot Jesus had a disciple named Bart!
Clip Four - The whole show, the president has had Charlie, his
personal assistant,
auditioning carving knives. Charlie has been presenting the finest
cutlery in the world
to the never-satisfied president. This was the touching part
of the show.
Clip Five - This was the funniest part of a great, well-rounded episode.
This Just In...
Dick Cheney has not had any heart attacks so far today.
How Pigboy got in bed with ABC
VCR Alert
I have the storu somewhere in the giant stack, but The Sopranos
is returning.
Starting December 4th, with is just around the corner, HBO is
running every
Sopranos episode, in order. They're wisely starting with
Season One.
After they run thru Season One, which was a f-ing monster of
brilliance,
they're doing Season Two. The week after Season Two is over,
they're
premiering Season Three, the new episodes.
My opinion isn't worth any more than someone else's opinion, but
if you're
wondering why everybody is so worked up about how great The
Sopranos is,
catch the show from the very beginning starting in two weeks.
There's a contest between West Wing and The Sopranos
for best damn show ever.
Even if you're determined not to like this show, it'll make you
like it.
Molly Ivins on the GOP's Big Mess
Smokin' Joe Conason Explains it All
From: csiii@sound.net
Subject: Faithfully interpret
Truly scary thought:
"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully interpret the office of
President of the United States,
and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend
the Constitution of the United states.
So help me Condi, Jim and Colin."
Steve Fuller
From: Tamara Baker
Subject: Florida GOP Lege threat (mostly hot air)
The Florida GOP needs 2/3 of each House in order to push through a vote
trashing the EVs for the state. They are short 3 members in each
House.
In other words, it ain't gonna happen, and they know it.
Tamara
Starbucks in the Forbidden City
Tally Briggs - Actress at Large
I've had a request to publish the confusing ballot.
Smokin' Joe Conason Explains even more
From: (withheld)
Subject: Election "Officials"
Dear BC,
I have worked in and managed political campaigns
for over 30 years.
Therefore, I have considerable experience working
with “election officials”
like the ones in Miami-Dade County. Some
election officials are dedicated,
hard working people. Many are volunteers.
However, keep in mind that
the paid election officials, like the ones in
Miami-Dade County, actually work
about four months every two years (two months
preparing for the election,
two months after the election certifying results,
storing voting machines, etc.)
The rest of the time (unless there is a special
election), they set on their fat asses.
Therefore, in many places (Miami-Dade County)
we have lazy, good for nothing
bureaucrats sucking at the government teat, waiting
for an election. What has
happened in Miami-Dade County is this:
A group of do nothing bureaucrats
(some Democrats are lazy too) who can’t be bothered
to work the necessary
hours to get the votes counted, and rightfully
elect Al Gore president.
The Miami-Dade County election officials have
been dragging their feet on a recount
since the day after the election. A recount
is long hours and hard work, and they
simply don’t want to put forth the effort.
They are a disgrace to the political process,
and should be removed from the government teat.
We would probably have been
better off if they had opened the door and let
the rioting ditto heads have them.
Ted
Ted,
I know you're right, but it's still hard to believe.
These people have history in their hands - the fate of the world's
future - and all
they can think about is getting their long weekend so they can eat
turkey.
Human nature is a real bitch.
Last week, Monday Night Football was 4th in the ratings.
The week before, it was 8th.
Does that mean Dennis Miller has been accepted?
They hired him to boost the sagging ratings, right?
With Millionaire and ER on TV, they're not going to get
much higher than 4th.
...and they have to be tuning in for Dennis Miller, right?
Al Michaels has always been there, and I like Dan Fouts,
but nobody's going to tune in to hear what Dan Fouts has to say, right?
Good for you, Dennis.
Read the Previous
Issue
It was so good, we sent it to the Academy.
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