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Quotes
"Enron is running the Bush administration's
energy policy."
-- Ann Richards, who always tells the truth
Scientists Reset 'Doomsday Clock' Toward Danger
The keepers of the "Doomsday Clock" have advanced its hands nearer
to the midnight hour
symbolizing nuclear weapons conflict, its closest since the Cold
War's end, citing worries
over lagging disarmament efforts, the security of existing stockpiles
and terrorism.
Having a really stupid president who must have constant war to
keep his approval high,
plus a tendency to go it alone in the face of our closest allies,
the world is less safe than
it would have been if Americans were allowed to choose their
president by voting.
Astros to Buy Enron Ballpark Name
The Houston Astros are dropping the name
"Enron Field" from
their ballpark to relieve themselves of
the embarrassment.
I wonder if George Bush International Airport in Houston is thinking the same?
From: vanceeverson1@pcc.net
Subject: Something else for people to do in Washinton DC on April 27
National March in Washington Against War & Racism
Great Cartoon by Ted Rall
Quotes
"Maybe he can't think well when there's
a breast behind him."
-- Cher, talking about Ashcroft on Dave last night.
Hey,. Johnny, who's the tramp?
Why, ...it's Dr. Laura and her hooters.
Dr. Laura, ...how COULD you?
An Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele
Click Here for the latest updates.
Write to Julie at PO Box 1351, Virginia Beach, VA 23451
E-mail to Julie, use juliehiattsteele@bartcop.com
PayPal to Julie, Click Here -> 
Judge Orders
Cheney Records Release
Excerpt:
A federal judge has ordered the Energy Department
to release thousands of records on the
Vice Oil Man's energy task force, criticizing
the government for moving at ``a glacial pace.''
ha ha
You don't think it's starting, do you?
If there's some really damaging info in these papers that link
Smirk 'n Dick to Enron,
bartcop.com will soon be $9.95 a week, because the
Smirk Roast will be held right here!
ha ha
If there was any sense of fair play in the minds of the Karma
Gods, we Democrats would get our turn
to crucify the other guy, who's actually guilty of stuff
and I want to be the guy swinging the big hammer.
...in a comedic way, of course.
From: Bernie
Subject: It is all my fault!!
BC,
It is all my fault!!!!!! Rush says he started
going deaf in May.
That is the exact time that I got in my
legendary "Mega Bartcop Dittoes Pigboy" call.
I think what happened was the hearing of
the name "Bartcop" started the famous "Bartcop Hex".
Next thing you know the pigboy is deaf
and dumb. I think Rush knows this and I must admit I
still fear for my life from the ditto-monkeys
so don't print my e-mail address. Ha, ha.
Bernie
Mark Twain's War Prayer
Excerpt:
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers
to bloody shreds with our shells;
help us to cover their smiling fields with
the pale forms of their patriot dead;
help us to drown the thunder of the guns
with the shrieks of their wounded,
writhing in pain; help us to lay waste
their humble homes with a hurricane of fire;
Wow!
This Twain guy should 've been a writer.
Washington broods over X-Ray prognosis
Excerpt:
As the prisoners while away the weeks in
their flyblown cages at Camp X-Ray,
Washington's government lawyers are in
a state of confusion and embarrassment,
having so far failed to come up with a
coherent plan for the captives' future.
I thought President Emotional Landslide decided they were all
guilty.
That is, guilty of "being evil-doers,"
so why doesn't he just show them some of
that good old "Texas hospitality" like he showed those hundreds
of prisoners there?
I mean, if King George says they're guilty, they're guilty,
and there's no need for any trials or lawyers, right George?
There are signs that the administration
now regrets inventing the whole concept
of military tribunals, the only war-related
issue which has come close to giving
President Bush political problems since
September 11.
That was always an extremely stupid idea, even for Bush.
...and I wish I knew why most Democrats remained silent when Bush
proposed this
extremely stupid and unconstitutional idea. I don't like it when
the Unelected Fraud tells me,
"The Constitution doesn't apply in the
following cases..."
Did the media kill Daniel Pearl?
Would he still be alive if his picture and story weren't splashed
across
every TV screen and newspaper front page in the western world?
If you don't count clueless Ronnie Reagan and the Bush Family
Evil Empire
everyone agrees you don't pay kidnappers because it encourages
more kidnappings.
So wouldn't the same principle apply to publicity-seeking religious
kidnappers?
When they made Pearl a media superstar, that empowered
the nutjobs.
Roger Hedgehog, the nut subbing for Rush yesterday,
says he wants to see the video of Pearl being beheaded.
Perfect!
The hotter they can make that Pearl video,
the odds increase that there'll be another soon.
Please, God, protect Jerry Rivers
JHS Primer for the Slow
I hadn't heard Alan Jackson's "Where
were you when the world stopped turning?"
It was a good song.
Popular
Delusions and the Madness of Drudge
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
The point is that once upon a time, it
would have been shocking that for more than a month, not a
single editor or reporter exercised minimal
due diligence to determine if this too-good-to-be-true little
nugget had any basis in fact. Today it's
business as usual. Indeed, had it not been for the pesky activists
at MediaWhoresOnline.com,
it's not clear the Lincoln Bedroom fable would ever have been corrected.
The website posts newsroom e-mail links
and phone numbers, encouraging citizens to make pests of
themselves until journalists get it straight.
Two things:
1. Gene Lyons just totally rules, doesn't he?
2. Mediawhoresonline.com is starting to dominate.
If you read it on mediawhoresonline.com - it's true.
Everytime they get a national mention, which these days is almost
daily,
I write them and tell them how jealous I am, but I'm just kidding.
If you read the fine print on their site, it says "In association
with bartcop.com,"
I think I need to write "In association with mediawhoresonline.com,"
instead.
I wrote to the editor last night and said:
> Damn, Lyons even credited you with fixing the
Lay-Lincoln bedroom story!
> You're in the history books now!
> I'm sooooooo jealous!!!!
> It's kinda like "A Star is Born," except that
I was never a star :)
I'm real proud of the gang over at MWO.
MWO
has more credibility than the New York Times,
because they don't print every damn rumor that Matt Drudge fabricates
and pretend it's "news."
At MWO, they take the time to DIG and find the truth like reporters
USED to do,
before Clinton came along and the rules changed to "no
sources at all."
A shot of Chinaco to
Dragonfly
A secrets-spilling movie review by BartCop
Dave over at the BartCop
Vegas Report reports that he's swamped
and needs reporters and news gatherers and people with opinions.
If you're interested, click above and check the bottom of the
page and send Dave some e-mail.
Las Vegas is too big for one lone dude to handle.
A new friend put a link to bartcop.com on his page.
WARNING: NOT a member of any feminist webrings.
So I thought I'd ask the ladies - only:
Do women have a better online friend than bartcop.com?
Hopefully, it's not my honesty that might upset some women.
For instance, when I do the Emmy and Oscar picks, I'm honest
enough to say I pick the women with whom I'd most enjoy having
sex.
This year I'm rooting for Halle Berry.
Could women take that as an insult?
If so, then what would explain the acting careers of Mel Gibson,
Kevin Costner,
Harrison Ford, Sly Stallone, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, and,
above
all, Tom Cruise?
Isn't it a fact that those "actors" make money because women pay
to see their movies
so they can fantasize about having sex with them?
If I'm wrong - explain Tom Cruise to me.
Now that that argument has been settled, I'd like to hear from
the women.
Is there anything on bartcop.com that you
see as insulting to women?
[I see those extra-vulgar Laura Schlessinger
pictures as political,
not (gag) sensual, but you're free to disagree
with that if you like.]
I had the most infuriating conversation with the Democratic
National Committee.
Christian is always saying, "Let me
talk to those people, that's what a publicist does."
But did I listen?
Noooooooo.
Did Nolan Richardson talk himself out of a cushy coaching job at Arkansas?
Don't forget to check 
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Complete Grammy wrap-up, Clinton Library update,
a new Francis Ford Coppola film, Bob Dylan news,
Christina Aguilera, Dave Matthews, James Bond - and more!
Check today's 
Great News!
USA Today reports that, starting in April, Bill Press is leaving
Crossfire.
That's not the good news - I like Bill Press.
Oh, I think he could've tempered his condemnation of Bill Clinton
during Monica,
but compared to Alan Colmes, Bill Press is James Carville or
Paul Begala.
Guess who's replacing Bill Press?
James Carville and Paul Begala!
ha ha
The two of them are going to take turns giving the red-ass to
Tucker Carlson and Bob Novak.
I'll bet they're doing it because the Democrats have become such
pink-tutu's spineless woosies
that they felt it was their duty to remind the
scared bunnies how to fight!
Yoo Hoo!
Crossfire becomes must-tape TV.
Daddy
Bush/Cheney/ExxonMobil/Halliburton and natural gas
The Untold Story
TV Sweep weeks are over!!
But buy a $50 ticket to An Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele anyway.
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